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Have you got colour in your cheeks?
Do you ever get that fear that you can't shift the type
That sticks around like summat in your teeth?
The double lives of the Parisian superheroes were built on double standards.
While hating liars, Marinette didn’t have a choice but to come up with small excuses or blatant lies to cover her tracks. It was for the greater good, to keep her safe and separate two halves of her life. She couldn’t help but despise herself for the ease with which half-truths and made-up stories slid off her tongue.
All of Adrien’s life was fake news. He loathed it but kept maintaining the image of an innocent-looking angelic boy to mask his destructive nature. It was for the greater good, to avoid any unwanted questions, to keep him safe and (occasionally) free.
Five years had passed since the Stoneheart incident, and they were still stuck in the loop of fighting villains, patrolling at night, and pretending to be "normal people" in between. This lifestyle turned them into sneaky pretenders. Nothing made them blush anymore - neither embarrassment for the lamest excuses nor the fear to get caught on bigger lies.
Are there some aces up your sleeve?
Have you no idea that you're in deep?
Ladybug and Chat Noir became professional saviors even before their age of maturity, but some things couldn’t be saved without lies. Or that’s what the superheroes had thought at the start of their career. Then they had quickly learned that lies aren’t the most stable foundation for any kind of relationship.
“Today, my professor scolded me. I missed half of his lectures and submitted a couple of important assignments after the deadlines,” Chat told Ladybug one day when they were catching their breaths after an akuma attack.
She nodded, pursing her lips in a thin line. “Same for me. One of my professors said that he lets my tardiness slip only because I’m still a star pupil. But you know what’s worse?” The superheroine looked into the distance, blinking rapidly. “My friends almost stopped inviting me to parties, study groups, and hangouts. I accidentally overheard one of them saying that there’s no point to do it if “that flake” isn’t going to show up.”
Their old friendships had been crumbling; new connections were even harder to form. Their partnership, on the other hand, was strengthening; it was noticeable in the improvements of their fighting skills and speed. Sure, Ladybug and Chat had some strains between them, including nearly-akumatized states, once relinquished Miraculous of Destruction, and hidden identities. Despite all of this, only they could understand each other’s struggles and convoluted plans. Ladybug and Chat were the most reliable people for each other. They chose to believe that that was a good thing. Neither of them acknowledged how they slowly distanced themselves from their friends and relatives.
The superhero duo handled battles on their own, not even breaking a sweat. But they weren’t as close to their enemy’s defeat as everyone wanted them to be. So with each passing day, Parisians grew more skeptical. It had hit them especially hard when the superhero duo realized that they had no one reliable enough to choose as new allies when the old ones were compromised again. The duo had no choice but to lean on each other more and more.
I've dreamt about you nearly every night this week
How many secrets can you keep?
For a long time, the superheroes had a strict patrolling schedule. It was still valid, but patrols became only an excuse to see each other more often, to relish in the warm presence of the understanding partner. So they reduced this routine to several quick laps around the central part of the city, and then usually spent the rest of the night eating junk food and talking. Sometimes, they laughed at silly memes or cringed at unbelievable conspiracy theories about them. Every so often, their conversations shifted to more meaningful topics. Adrien cherished those nights the most. It was a rare opportunity to learn something new about the girl behind the spotted mask that he had sworn to love.
“Hey, Bugaboo, what if we will create anonymous accounts in this messenger?” Chat suggested during one of their “patrols”, showing Ladybug an app. “It’s one of the most secure messenger apps that Imanaged to get access to.”
Ladybug sighed. “Fine. We should probably have done that a long time ago. It’s more reliable than the cat and bug toys. But only for emergencies, do you hear me?” She crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow at him; Chat only laughed.
Of course, this rule was quickly disregarded. At first, they exchanged cat puns and memes in between akuma alerts and patrols schedules; then they began to check on each other more often. Step by step, they felt comfortable enough to share more and more tidbits about their lives. High grades for tests, interesting articles and celebrities’ posts, pictures of tasteful pastries, cute cafes, and streets wonderfully lit by the last of the sun’s rays - Ladybug and Chat absorbed everything eagerly.
After a couple of weeks of intense texting, they realized that the app had a call feature. Thus began frequent night-long conversations. When they were done with their civilian duties, one of them was dialing; the other picking up almost immediately. Teasing, banter, subtle (or not) hints and remarks fueled the excitement in their chests and left them craving more and more closeness.
Usually, it was Ladybug who was dozing off after two-three hours of chatter. Sometimes, Adrien woke her up to end the conversation with proper goodbyes. But most times he just quietly disconnected, hearing her snoring, whispering almost inaudibly, “Sleep well, M’Lady.”
Adrien, on the other hand, could never fall asleep for a while after she'd nodded off during their conversations. After one particularly long and engaging evening's discussion, he got lost in his fantasies. Wrapped up in his thick blankets and snuggling his pillows, he imagined how it would feel to have her there beside him, to fall asleep in her embrace, and wake up to see her serene face on the next pillow.
He wondered how it would feel to express his affection freely, not to hide it behind the mask and over-the-top flirting. To kiss her tenderly, to hold her lovingly, to move in together and start a true family on their own someday.
The night was quickly becoming his favorite time because of those vivid images that kept him going. Adrien hated mornings because of the obnoxious alarms at the crack of dawn that harshly returned him to reality. All that he had was Plagg and the disgusting smell of his beloved Camembert, and a Ladybug shrine, hidden in the farthest corner of Adrien’s room. But he wouldn’t trade it for the world.
It didn’t matter that Chat Noir didn’t know the name of his partner, how her face looked like without the mask. Now his imagination had a blurry picture with way more small details than several years ago, and sometimes it felt more than enough.
'Cause there's this tune I found
That makes me think of you somehow an' I play it on repeat
Until I fall asleep, spillin' drinks on my settee
Next morning, Adrien woke up groggy; his muscles sore from the twisted position that he’d spent the night in. He looked at his alarm clock and shot up, surprised.
“Nine in the morning? What? And no one woke me up?” He jumped out from under the covers, pulled his pants and T-shirt on, and ran to his father’s studio to check what was going on.
Several suitcases stood in the middle of the hall, Nathalie was tapping at her tablet furiously beside them. She looked up, hearing the footsteps, and gasped, “I forgot to wake you up! I’m so sorry!”
“What’s happening, Nathalie?” Adrien asked in a raspy voice, rubbing his eyes.
“Oh, that?” Her eyes darted to Gorilla, who was taking the suitcases outside to the car. “Me and Mr. Agreste are going to Milan for business purposes. We’ll be back,” she glanced at her tablet, “in 5 days.”
Adrien frowned. ‘Great. No one bothered to tell me in advance, as usual.’ He gave Nathalie a polite smile. “Okay. Meanwhile, what am I supposed to do?”
“Your extracurriculars will be going according to the schedule. Your bodyguard is staying here to look after you,” she informed Adrien. The boy nodded in acknowledgment and went back to his room with slumped shoulders. He closed the door and sighed. Plagg flew to him from where his cheese was stashed.
“They are leaving,” Adrien stated. “And no one warned me.”
Plagg shrugged. “So? Why the long face? You can have fun for once without them breathing down your neck! What are the plans for weekends?” the little being asked with a mischievous grin.
Adrien ran a hand through his hair. “It’s not like I have somewhere to be or someone to hang out with.”
Plagg snorted and did a somersault in the air. “We can always get into some mischief,” he suggested, putting his paws on his tummy. “For example, raid your kitchen and steal some sweets for you and some delicious Swiss cheese to diversify my diet.” The kwami looked at his chosen expectantly.
Adrien laughed. “Well, let’s wait until they leave, and then we will go look.”
Plagg whooped in joy and flew back to his cheese stash.
Later in the evening, sitting on the couch with some wine in his favorite mug, Adrien was thankful for Plagg’s suggestion. When they had gone to rummage through the kitchen supplies after dinner, they had found an opened wine bottle in the fridge. So Adrien carefully snuck it into his room. He had been allowed to have one glass of champagne at the formal parties, but it wasn’t enough for him to get drunk.
Now, chugging down his second mug, the boy was vibrating with energy; warmth coursed through his body. He felt weightless, similarly to the moments when he launched himself up in the air with his baton or was soaring in the sky as Astrocat.
He decided to make himself a solo dancing party. Granted, his room had giant speakers that he rarely used so as not to disturb Gabriel’s work or rest. This was the perfect opportunity to test the dusty system. He turned on one of his countless Spotify playlists, switched off the lights except the lamps on his desk and nightstands, and began dancing and singing along to Lady GaGa’s “Bad Romance”. Plagg was watching his chosen with amusement, chewing on a piece of Swiss cheese.
After eight or ten songs, Adrien sank on the floor under the speakers, leaning on the wall dazed and breathless. The outburst of energy was gone, leaving a lingering sadness knotting in his chest. He took out his phone from the jeans’ pocket and scrolled through his music library. He put on the loop some songs that Ladybug had sent him. He knew them by heart now, listening to each one carefully, searching hidden messages in lyrics.
Jagged Stone’s love ballad that she had claimed as her favorite blasted in the background. The boy just sat there and stared at his window, unblinking. A sudden wave of longing crashed into him, making him shudder. He wished she would run around the city and by his house in particular at this exact moment. Just so he could catch a glimpse of her red suit, her soft hair fluttering in the wind, her perfectly shaped body...
Crawlin' back to you
Ever thought of callin' when
You've had a few?
'Cause I always do
Adrien was startled by the vibration of his phone. He grinned: it was a message from Ladybug. He stared at the picture of the Parisian skyline that she had sent, and the caption ‘Thought you’d like it’.
“She was thinking about me!” he shouted, trying to get up and failing.
Plagg sighed and flew to the bed, landing on the pillow. “Old news. Just don’t stay up too late, Cat sanova.”
Adrien ignored him, continuing staring at the screen. One clear thought entered his foggy brain: he should call Ladybug. It was nearly midnight anyway, their usual time for a call. He scrambled to his unsteady feet and made it to the couch before dialing her number.
“Hi, Bugaboo,” he exclaimed cheerfully when she picked up the call. “How are you doing this paw some evening?”
She began recounting her day, but Adrien could hardly make sense of her words. He just enjoyed her voice that sounded like the sweetest lullaby or the melody that hypnotized those venomous snakes in the circus, and he had been a snake once…
“Chat? Chat! Are you here?” Adrien heard a hint of worry in her question.
Adrien sat straight and shook his head to clear his thoughts and focus. “Of-of hic-course, ml-M’Lady. Never better.”
She was silent for a moment. Another question followed, “Are you… drunk?”
“Drunk on you, Bugaboo,” he answered in his signature flirty tone.
“Chat…” she sighed. He knew what was coming but felt so daring that decided to push anyway.
“What? You know that you’re the most precious person in my life. You motivate me to become a better version of myself, to grow into a great superhero and a decent person.” He cleared his throat that started to feel dry. “You’re my most trustworthy friend that knows me better than any person in my real life.” It was a bitter truth, but he had more pressing matters than to dwell on it. He took a breath. “I’d give my life for you in a heartbeat if needed. So why do my confessions still surprise you?”
Adrien jumped to his feet, clutching the phone in his hands. “Do you hear me?” he demanded, staring at Ladybug’s avatar on the screen. “I. Love. You. There, I said it.” He laughed too loudly. “Or maybe I don’t. Maybe I love only cheese...” He held the dramatic pause for several seconds, and then proceeded, “... or maybe I am the cheese. I don’t know anymore.” He ignored Plagg’s distressed choking in the background, sitting back on the couch and waiting anxiously for her reaction.
Maybe I'm too
Busy bein' yours
To fall for somebody new
Now, I've thought it through
Crawlin' back to you
Ladybug was silent for a good minute. Adrien could imagine her frowning and biting her lip, searching for an appropriate answer. After a small sigh, she started to speak. “Chat… Please, I-I thought that you already… Chat, I’m not the best option for you. Find a real girl who will give you all the love and support that I can’t give.” She took a shuddering breath. His hand clenched around the phone tighter. “As long as there are masks and secrets between us, I can’t give you everything that you want. We’ll be vulnerable-”
“Do you think,” Adrien interrupted, getting angrier, “that it’s easy to find a perfect girl that would bear with me, my flaws, AND my superhero job?” He took a pillow from the couch and threw it across the room, exasperated. “Do you think that I haven’t tried?”
Shuffling and rustling were heard on her end. “I have to go. Think about it. Talk to you later.” Ladybug ended the call before Adrien managed to say something.
He growled in frustration. “What does she think, saying those things? That I can give up on her? On my feelings? As if! And for what?” He threw his hands in the air.
Adrien was never more confident in his decision to fight for them until the very end. Or until the outright rejection which wouldn’t be refuted by everyday behavior.
So have you got the guts?
Been wonderin' if your heart's still open
And if so, I wanna know what time it shuts
In two days after his solo party, Adrien was approaching Alya’s apartment complex. “Honestly, it’s a miracle that I was invited,” Adrien whispered to Plagg in his shirt pocket. It was Alya’s 18th birthday, and she was throwing a huge party for all her friends from different circles. Under normal circumstances, he’d miss it again but since his father was out of town Adrien could easily sneak out. He decided to use this opportunity to distract himself from the thoughts about that awkward conversation with Ladybug.
When he entered the apartment, the party was going in a full swing. A few people greeted him; Alya squealed in joy and kissed his cheek. Nino gave him a warm smile and usual fistbump then poured some wine and gave the glass to Adrien.
The young model had attended all kinds of formal events, but he had almost no idea how to behave appropriately among partying teenagers. So he ended up sitting on the couch and sipping wine. Beside him, a couple that he vaguely knew was making out. Some people were chatting in this room, but most of the guests were dancing in a hall.
Adrien felt the familiar drunken buzz in his body, but no excitement from it, only creeping darkness. He looked at his nearly empty glass (third for this evening), frowning, and wondered what he could do to brighten his mood. Sitting alone in the middle of the noisy party wasn’t helping. After some contemplation, he got up and quietly left the apartment. He transformed in a nearby alley, ignoring Plagg’s protests and warnings, and jumped up to the roof.
In the middle of another leap between buildings, he felt his baton buzzing, indicating an incoming call. He jumped down on the roof and checked the screen. ‘Ladybug. Huh.’
“Good evening,” he grumbled, putting the earbud in. “What’s the matter?”
“Cha-Chattt!” she greeted. “Come here, please. I c-could use a furr iend,” she giggled at the pun attempt. “I’m so lame haha. Please! On the usual sp-pot.”
“Okay,” Chat Noir sighed. He didn’t want to deal with distressed Ladybug yet, but he couldn’t just leave her in that state. So he headed to their favorite rooftop.
She tackled him as soon as he landed on the roof, pressing further, leaving no space between them. He went still for a second, then hesitantly wrapped his arms around her. “What happened, Bug?” he asked, trying not to show his inner turmoil. She lifted her head, and he immediately got lost in her clouded eyes, which glistened with tears. He sniffed and felt the fruity notes in her breath more clearly. He could almost be sure that she was as tipsy as he was.
“I-” she blinked, refocusing on his face. “I was at the party. And s-saw the boy I’m in love with...” her lower lip was quivering, a single tear rolled down her cheek, “And I couldn’t even talk to him. Again.” She hit his chest lightly with clenched fists. “I planned to finally tell him how I feel to get it out of my system. But he was upset about some-somethinnnhg! And I don’t know if he’d reciprocate my feelings...”
Simmer down an' pucker up, I'm sorry to interrupt
It's just I'm constantly on the cusp of tryin' to kiss you
She was rambling, but Chat concentrated on the sensations that flowed through his body. He thought that his alcohol-induced haze had evaporated after his running session. But he felt a familiar excitement and warmth rising in his chest again. He blinked, tuning back into her words.
“...not even sure that I love him anymore. We haven’t seen hich-each other for ages. And maybe I should let him g-go already,” Ladybug finished her rant. She bit her lip and looked away, blinking back the tears. Chat placed his hand on her cheek and turned her head to him. He gently wiped the tears from her face and put his thumb at her bitten lip, trying to free it. She closed her eyes and nuzzled his hand.
He was completely under her spell. He could lean forward a little bit and claim her lips by his own. End this hide-and-seek game at once right now…
I don't know if you feel the same as I do
But we could be together if you wanted to
Chat dropped his hand abruptly, as if the touch to Ladybug’s face had burned him, and stepped back, letting her go. ‘What are you thinking?’ He chided himself. ‘She just told you about her crush and unrequited feelings again, and you continue to dream about her kiss like a fool?’ He turned his back to her and went to the edge of the roof, growling quietly.
Ladybug opened her mouth in surprise, then shook her head, as if coming back to reality. She approached him cautiously and put a hand on his shoulder in a comforting manner. Chat flinched; Ladybug bit her lip again. “Chat...” she said hesitantly.
“Tell me, Ladybug.” He turned back to her with a fiery determination in his gaze. “What am I to you?” He stepped closer. “I made myself clear about my feelings. So should you. Why can’t you let ME settle in your heart instead of that oblivious boy?” Chat put his hands on Ladybug’s shoulders. “He isn’t worthy of you if he doesn’t acknowledge you.”
“Chat, you know that I can’t… we shouldn’t…” she babbled, trying to come up with reasonable excuses.
“We can’t what?” He let her go and crossed his arms, huffing. “I don’t want to hang around in anticipation anymore. I want clear answers.” He stepped back, maintaining the distance. “Come on, it’s time. Say everything that is in your mind. What do I mean to you? Our late-night conversations? Jokes? Shared dreams and embarrassing stories?”
He searched her gaze; she looked down at her feet. “ Isn’t it more dangerous to keep all those walls between us than remove them? Why must we look for love somewhere else when we have everything that we need in front of us?”
(Do I wanna know?) If this feelin' flows both ways?
(Sad to see you go) Was sorta hopin' that you’d stay
(Baby, we both know) That the nights were mainly made
For sayin' things that you can't say tomorrow day
She stood there, silent, shrinking in herself away from his raging emotions. He waited several moments, then laughed bitterly.
“Got it, Ladybug. Some secrets and outdated rules are more important to you than everything that we already have.” He took the baton from the small of his back and extended it. “I won’t pester you anymore with personal topics, dear partner.” He spat the last word like an insult, looking directly in her eyes, and turned back to the edge of the roof. “And I’ll ask you to do the same. Message me only in case of an emergency. Good night!”
“NO!” Chat wasn’t prepared for Ladybug latching onto him and hugging him tightly from behind. “Don’t leave! Don’t leave me again...” she mumbled, pressing her face to his back. A chill ran down his spine; he shivered involuntarily. ‘What is she doing to me?’ he wondered. ‘Torturer…’
Chat heard her muffled voice from behind him. “You mean the world to me. And each time we par-part our ways, I feel like something is missing. I can’t be Ladybug without you. Please. Don’t go.”
His breath hitched; he had heard those words several times, but they never weighed so much. He turned back to her; Ladybug squeezed her eyes shut and buried her face in his chest, not having enough strength to face him. His resolve to leave crumbled.
“I can’t stand secrets anymore.” He said quietly, squeezing her arms. “I want to know all of you. Do you want it too?”
She glanced up at him. He recognized the expression; she usually had this look while figuring out an especially complex Lucky Charm item. “Let’s start slow,” she said finally. “I don’t have a spare key from my heart right now, but,” a goofy smile spread on her face, “I suspect that you've snuck in there somehow already, just forgot to inform me.”
Hope bloomed again in Chat’s chest. He leaned closer; their breaths intermingled. “Can we start from a kiss then?” he asked, peering at her pleadingly. Ladybug gave a small nod, closed her eyes, and leaned forward.
Too busy being yours to fall
He pressed his lips to hers firmly, desperate to devour each crumb of affection that she could give him. The bitter taste of looming rejection was slowly replaced by the sweetness of her kiss. They poured all the love and admiration in this tender gesture of affection. A lot of secrets and promises were left unspoken, giving way to kisses, embraces, and gentle touches. But Ladybug and Chat Noir could afford to spend one night without words after sharing so many meaningful conversations.