Archive of Our Own

Eijirou has a beautiful late summer wedding. As someone whose head has always been too full of dragons to think about romance, the idea that he’d get married one day never even crossed his mind, but now that he’s here, he decides that yes, a summer wedding is perfect. And not only because it’s the ideal temperature for Lord Explosion Noodles, Katsuki’s old Chinese Dwarf dragon, to rest comfortably on his keeper’s shoulders and have a front row seat for the ceremony.

Their dragon sanctuary looks amazing at this time of the year, with the trees just starting to change colors and the bright sunlight peeking through the leaves. The sky is clear, their guests look happy, and as Eijirou walks down the aisle at his mama’s arm, he’s certain that it couldn’t be more perfect. Mina and Momo have done an amazing job organizing everything! For something that started as a joke, it looks fantastic.

“Come on, Ei! You’re getting married! You can’t just sign the papers, that’s boring!” Mina said, back when Katsuki and he had just decided that getting married had a lot of benefits they could use. “It’s a chance to see everyone and party! Make cool memories! I’ll take care of everything, you two won’t even have to do a thing!”

The last part is what convinced Eijirou, and after this, he only had to push Katsuki a little for his future husband to accept. He only put his foot down on their outfits, and Eijirou couldn’t be more grateful for his simple dress vest and red shirt, given the temperature.

He walks past Runt as they reach the pews, their mixed-race ringbearer letting out a happy trill when Eijirou gives a small pat on her scaly head, and he finally looks up to see Katsuki waiting for him at the altar, trying and failing to look neutral and vaguely annoyed. Riot, Eijirou’s Red Welsh dragon, is waiting for him on the other side. He looks calm and composed, as regal as ever, befitting his status of pack leader, but the way his wings twitch betrays him. Eijirou isn’t his first keeper, and this is not his first wedding either. He knows this is a big moment.

Eijirou wonders if he also knows Katsuki and he aren’t doing it for the same reasons people usually get married. If so, it doesn’t seem to matter much to him. Eijirou’s seen him act exactly like this at his cousin's wedding, back when his previous keeper, Eijirou’s great-uncle, was still alive. Eijirou has grown so much, since then, and Riot hasn’t changed a bit.

The Red Welsh is the reason why Eijirou is the dragon nerd he is today. Professional dragon trainer, and co-owner of a successful dragon sanctuary. He isn’t sure his kid self would have been thrilled about the wedding, but young Eijirou would definitely be proud of who he’s become.

Eijirou smiles when his mama leaves him at the altar, grabbing his face to give him a forehead kiss before she joins his mom on the front pews.

“Took you long enough,” Katsuki whispers with a disgruntled pout.

“You’re the one who said walking down the aisle was stupid. One of us had to do it,” Eijirou chuckles, lifting a hand to give Noodles a scratch under his raised chin.

“We could have both waited at the altar.”

Their argument is cut short by the officiant, who coughs to get their attention back. She doesn’t look too annoyed, though. She was picked because she doesn’t take herself too seriously and didn’t judge when they explained they wanted to keep the ceremony as short and neutral as possible. It seemed both hypocritical and incredibly boring to keep long speeches about love and romance when they’re doing this to have an excuse to party with friends and take nice pictures.

As they both turn toward her so she can start, Eijirou can’t help but glance in Katsuki’s direction every few seconds. He still can’t believe he’s getting married to his best friend and grumpy dragon vet in front of a whole twenty people, just because Eijirou was whining about paperwork one evening.

He probably shouldn’t be surprised, though. His harmless comments have played a huge role in the way their relationship has developed, now that he thinks about it.

He met Katsuki through Runt. Or, well… Kaminari is the one who introduced them, because Katsuki needed advice on why Runt had been acting up. It was purely professional, at first. Eijirou is a friendly guy, but he knows how to separate his professional and personal life. He’d lived by this principle, too… until Katsuki came into his life.

Runt’s case had been a tough nut to crack, to say the least. Her change from sweetheart to terror had been the result of so many factors that Eijirou had been forced to spend a lot of time with the two of them to figure it out, getting to know both the dragon and her keeper.

They acted pretty much the same, when Eijirou first met them: they were aggressive, rude, and prickly. Between the similarities in their behaviors and Runt’s name, Eijirou was almost suspecting some kind of abuse. He even called Kaminari to ask if he thought it could be the reason, and his friend had burst out laughing when he heard it.

“Dude, no way!” he said. “He treats dragons like royalty. Haven’t you seen Noodles? And I promise, Runt is usually a sweetheart! I only met her once, but she was so cute she even managed to make Bakugou look adorable by proxy!”

Eijirou was introduced to the noodle dragon during their second meeting, and the talk they had afterward put all his doubts to rest. Katsuki was like a walking encyclopedia on dragons, and it was obvious that he hated how powerless he was to help Runt despite everything he knew. Eijirou figured out that what he really needed was an external point of view more than a professional opinion.

Runt (whose official name is actually Coppersnout, but she never reacts to it) was a real brat at first, but it didn’t take him more than a few minutes to realize that she was all bark and no bite. She was messy, unruly, and moody at home, looking constantly pissed just like her keeper. When Eijirou started working with her, Katsuki couldn’t keep anything on high surfaces because she’d knock it off immediately. By the time Eijirou was done explaining how he usually worked, she’d even managed to knock off a whole shelf in the bathroom. She also snapped her teeth at him when he tried to introduce himself, but the one time Eijirou didn’t take his hand back in time, she barely grazed it and jumped back with a surprised yelp, all frills out. She even licked his hand as an apology before immediately going back to her grumpy self, and Eijirou had to repress a chuckle at that. Katsuki explained later that he couldn’t bring her to his clinic because she’d lash out at other dragons, but she was even more aggressive when he left her home.

It took weeks and Eijirou forgetting to put on his smell suppressant once for him to finally figure out the main issue, beside Katsuki and her recently moving house: Runt was scared of other dragons and territorial over her keeper, who always came back from work smelling like his scaly clients.

Katsuki and he truly bonded when Eijirou decided that the best way to get Runt to overcome her fear was to introduce her to Riot. He’d never forget Katsuki’s eyes when he saw Eijirou’s dragon for the first time. They were gleaming with joy and wonder, and he even whispered an awed “That’s a Red Welsh, I can’t believe you live with a fucking Red Welsh,” before he schooled his expression into his usual scowl and formally introduced himself to the dragon. He’d done everything right: the polite bow, the non-challenging but still firm behavior… Riot seemed to like him right away, and when he started cautiously bonding with Runt, Katsuki admitted that Red Welshs had always been his favorite dragon breed. It was then that Eijirou knew he wanted to be Katsuki’s friend more than anything.

He still let him go, though. Eijirou knew he’d miss their nerdy dragon talks and their constant texting that, now that he thinks about it, wasn’t really professional, but he still forced himself to stop when Runt turned back to her sweetheart self and his help wasn’t needed anymore.

The two months they spent apart were miserable, and he found himself hoping that Katsuki would take him up on his offer to dragonsit Noodles and Runt. He missed the little terror too… She was built all wrong, with her crooked teeth and her too wide paws, her big frills and her too small wings, but she was the sweetest dragon he’d ever met, and Riot liked her too.

His excuse came when Katsuki called to tell him that Runt was terrorizing his household again.

It was obvious that she was doing it on purpose, and Katsuki seemed well-aware of that fact too. She didn’t even look like she was trying to hide it either. It was just a means to an end for her, and she got exactly what she wanted: Eijirou and Katsuki had been best friends ever since.

Eijirou feels a rush of manly tears at the memory, and he grabs Katsuki’s hand for support, overwhelmed by how happy he is to have met him. People keep telling him that it’s a thing lovers do, but they don’t know him. Eijirou has cried at least once over all his friends. That’s just how he is. Katsuki knows that. Eijirou cried the week before too. And the day they decided to get married. And the day they moved in together. And the day they opened the dragon sanctuary, though they were general tears for all the friends who helped them make it possible. Katsuki’s made him cry a lot of happy tears over the years.

His friend squeezes his hand with a fondly irritated glance, and Eijirou decides that he should probably keep the tears for later.

Eijirou almost cried when Jirou told him what being ace meant too, he remembers. He’d met her in college, and they were already friends when he finally asked what her weirdly colored pride flag meant—he used to think it was some sort of goth gay flag; he was very misinformed back then.

For him, it was a revelation. He'd believed his whole life that there was something wrong with him, and knowing that many people didn't feel physical attraction either made him feel so validated that he spent the rest of the day asking questions. Then, Jirou mentioned that being aromantic was also a thing, and everything made even more sense to him.

At the time, Eijirou had dated a few girls already. It was never really his choice, though. They asked, and he didn't want to disappoint them or face his friends' questions, so he always said yes and ended up feeling vaguely annoyed and uncomfortable—not that he'd ever take it out on the poor girl, of course.

He held hands when they wanted to hold hands, kissed them when they wanted to kiss, complimented them on demand, and told himself that it was probably what a relationship should feel like. It was boring, mostly, and though Eijirou liked the dates, he hated that he couldn't spend this time with his friends or getting to know his girlfriend's. One of them had slapped him, when he asked why she never introduced him to her friends, and it took half an hour of his own friends laughing at him for him to understand that she thought he was planning to dump her for a prettier girl. Not that Eijirou understood, of course, but he got a pretty good example when Tomo helped them organize a big outing with both his friends and hers, and she left him for Tomo.

Everyone insisted that Eijirou should be mad, back then, or sad, or something , but he remembers feeling nothing but relief. She didn't like dragons anyway. And she didn't get along with Riot. The only thing that bothered him was that Tomo never spent time with them anymore.

When Eijirou found out that there was a chance he would never feel attraction or love his whole life, it was a huge relief. He’d heard that some people didn't take the news well, but he was just glad that he didn't have to pretend anymore. It was all the more time he could spend treasuring his platonic relationships and studying dragons, so why should he be sad?

From then on, when people flirted with him, he just told them he was aroace, patiently explained what it meant if they didn't know, and that was it. Not everyone was nice about it, and he was called ‘heartless’ and ‘impotent’ more than once, but he didn’t really care. At least, he wasn't wasting his time with people who couldn't appreciate him. It was what Jirou told him anyway.

And then, Katsuki came along.

“You may now exchange vows,” the officiant says.

Eijirou had almost forgotten that he wanted to keep this part. He said bros should also be able to make nice public speeches about how much they love their best bro, but he never really expected Katsuki to play along. Despite how much he loved the idea, Eijirou has struggled a lot with his.

To his surprise, Katsuki takes out a crumpled piece of paper that's covered with notes. Eijirou can tell it's Katsuki's writing, and it looks like he's given it a lot of thought. Nervous, Eijirou remembers that his best friend never half asses anything. If he’s going to say vows, they’re going to be the best vows ever. That's how he’d approach it, at least.

Damn, Eijirou hopes his aren’t going to sound too lame in comparison…

“Eijirou, you know I think all of this is fucking stupid and I'm shit with words. Not that it matters much, because you know how important you are already,” Katsuki starts. It sounds just like him. “But you're right, there aren't many occasions to force people to sit down and listen to a speech about what you care about, so let's do this shit. And I'll start with Lord Explosion Noodles right here.”

Eijirou lets out a surprised chuckle, as does the rest of the audience. He's tempted to remind Katsuki that it's only supposed to be about the groom, but it doesn't matter. He'll listen to his friend talk about anything, and it takes a lot of pressure off his shoulders.

“As everyone here knows, I've always dreamed of bonding with a big, fierce dragon. The kind that's smart and dangerous and scary-looking, like our gorgeous Riot right here.”

Eijirou hears a pleased rumble behind him, and he doesn’t need to turn around to know Riot is preening. There's a debate about whether or not dragons can understand human speech, and Eijirou has never doubted that they do.

“But the law's the law, and that's a real good thing,” Katsuki continues. “I couldn't have anything bigger than a Chinese Dwarf at first, and I thought getting one would just be some sort of training. But then, I got Noodles. He's got the most stupid name my eleven year old ass could have come up with, but I'll always be grateful that I got him because he's a huge badass, twenty one now and still kicking. Take that, pet stores, they can definitely live a lot longer than ten years!”

“Preach!” Kaminari exclaims from his best man spot.

Katsuki smiles and continues, “Anyway, he's not what I wanted, but he's what I got and it's for the best because I can't imagine my life without him.”

He pauses to give the old dragon a gentle scratch on the head.

“When I was finally old enough to get a bigger breed, I was fucking ready. I'd been to dragon school, I'd worked entire summers to get enough money for a cool dragon, I'd studied everything I could get my hands on… and then I got Runt, because my stupid bleeding heart dad found her in a shelter and couldn't help but adopt her for me. And it doesn't take a genius to see that she's nothing like what I wanted back then. She's cute, and sweet, and small, and so weirdly built that no one can tell what breeds are in there. And trust me, I fucking tried. I mean, frills this size are supposed to be for peacock dragons and she’s plain brown , what the hell. But she's smart as fuck, and a lot less clumsy than she looks like, and there aren't many dragons her size that I'd trust with a dwarf breed like Noodles. So again, she was nothing like I expected, but I guess she was what I needed at the time. I was awful to her at first and she didn't give a shit. She never let me teach her how to attack on command, but she can behave around small animals, tell when someone’s feeling like shit and try to comfort them, and work as a distraction to break up arguments. So I guess she's the best dragon I could have asked for. And don't come now, Coppersnout 'Runt' Bakugou, you know this isn't your damn cue!”

Eijirou chuckles when he hears her disappointed chuff behind the pews. Katsuki continues.

“When I met you, Eijirou, I thought you'd just come, tell me what the fuck was wrong with Runt, and leave. Though it was probably stupid since it's Kaminari who recommended you. But whatever. I guess I have to be doubly grateful for Runt now, because I don't think I'd have met you without her.”

“Hey! I did that!” Kaminari yells in protest. Katsuki ignores him.

“You're loud, nice, and friendly, but you're also strong, fierce, and passionate. It'll probably sound lame to anyone but you, but you're everything I fucking love about dragons. Including the occasional dumbassery.”

“Hey!” Eijirou exclaims, pretending to be upset despite his huge grin. Katsuki's right: the compliment doesn't sound like much, but it goes straight to his heart.

“You're kind and patient when you can, but you don't let anyone give you shit, including me, and that's fucking awesome. I never expected you to stay, and you're nothing like I thought my best friend would be, but once again, this is what I got and I'm so fucking glad I got you, Ei.”

At this point, Katsuki gets blurry because Eijirou is tearing up big time, a bright smile on his face.

“I don't think I ever told you this,” Katsuki continues, “but I realized how much you meant to me after the Noodles incident.”

Eijirou remembers it well. They'd been friends for a few years already when Noodles got sick. He was already old back then, and for days, Katsuki worried that his dragon was going to die while he was at work. Eijirou had never seen him so distressed.

“I can’t lose him, Ei, but I don’t know what else to do! I can’t drop work for this! We’re short on staff already and I don’t know how long it’ll take for him to get better or to… to…”   Katsuki started hyperventilating before he managed to finish his sentence, and Eijirou couldn’t stand seeing him like this. He sat him on the couch and held his hand, rubbing gentle circles on his back while getting his hand crushed half to death.

It probably didn’t take him that long to help his friend calm down, especially once Runt had joined them to put her head on Katsuki’s lap, but it still felt like an eternity to him. Katsuki should never look like this, he’d thought back then. Not if he could help it. So once his friend started feeling better, he’d offered to stay at his place and keep an eye on Noodles while he was at work.

“Most people treated me like I was making a fuss over nothing, since Chinese Dwarves aren't supposed to live long,” Katsuki says, “but you got it right away and I really fucking needed that. You took care of him and you stayed by my side the whole time. You cried a whole fucking lot when Noodles got better, and that's when I knew I never wanted to let you go.”

That's when they decided to move in together, actually. Once Noodles recovered, Eijirou lingered a couple more days “just in case” and Katsuki kept finding excuses to make him stay. Then, Eijirou made an off-hand comment about how he was going to miss spending so much time with Katsuki and eating his food, and his friend just said, “Move in with me, then,” like it was that simple.

It turned out to be that simple, and a couple of months later, Katsuki and his two dragons had fully moved into Eijirou's house. Runt didn't complain about it once, and Riot had no trouble sharing his territory with her. She was already a full member of his pack by then, and it almost seemed like he’d been expecting it to happen.

Now that he thinks about it, Eijirou didn't think about the place as his until Katsuki moved in with him. In his mind, it was still his uncle's house. Riot's house, maybe. He'd inherited it along with the dragon when his great-uncle died, so that Riot wouldn't have to move out. There was no way Eijirou could have afforded a place fit for a dragon like him with his freelance trainer income, and no one else in the family was interested in taking care of a whole dragon.

The ghost of his uncle was still haunting the place, though, even if the old furniture had been replaced when Eijirou moved in. He’d felt like it was a temporary situation until the house was filled with Katsuki's presence and with Runt's cheerful noises. He hadn’t realized it before, but it finally felt lived in again.

“Eijirou… to be honest, I'm not sure what the fuck we're doing,” Katsuki says. “I don't know that much about friendship, and I sure as fuck don't know shit about romance, but whatever we have, it feels right. I know we're nailing this relationship, whatever it is, and I want us to keep going for as long as we can. So this is my promise to you. You're fucking special, Ei, and you'll always be, no matter what.”

Eijirou is full on crying at this point, and he knows his own vows are going to pale in comparison, but his friend has laid himself bare here, and the manly thing to do is to reciprocate.

Katsuki raises a hand to wipe away the tears and takes out a tissue from his pocket because he obviously expected it to happen, the smug bastard. Eijirou can't believe he’s so lucky.

“You’re so manly, Katsuki,” he chokes through his tears.

It’s something Eijirou has always admired about him. He doesn’t need external validation like Eijirou does. He’s his own audience. He knows who he is. Eijirou has been there for him countless times through the years, and he’s seen his moments of weakness just like Katsuki has seen his, but no matter what, he always has this air of absolute confidence that Eijirou loves more than anything.

When he feels ready to speak, Eijirou clears his throat and takes out his own crumpled piece of paper. Much like Katsuki, he probably won’t need it. He’s practiced countless times in front of the mirror and his friends. They didn’t seem super enthusiastic about his approach, but Eijirou isn’t making the speech for them, and he thinks Katsuki will like it.

Damn, he hopes Katsuki likes it…

“Katsuki… You stopped your speech at the Noodles incident so I guess I’m going to take it from there. I’m not like you, we all know that. When you moved in with me, it just felt natural because we were already spending a lot of time together, and I’d always been happier with flatmates anyway. It took all our friends pointing out that we were basically dating, or more like in a committed relationship, for me to realize that… yeah. Yeah, from an external point of view, we were. We shared a place, did lots of things together, you’d started mentioning that a joint account would be much easier for grocery shopping and house renovations…”

…they’d started sharing a bed when Katsuki was worried about Noodles and never really stopped because it felt nice, they cuddled all the time, they made plans together… 

“It never really hit me because beside the joint account, these were all things I’d done with friends in the past. Just… not all of them at once, or all the time. But when I started noticing, I couldn’t unsee it, and it made me incredibly nervous. I guess you remember it too… I’m not super proud of that,” Eijirou says with a sheepish laugh.

He was so worried, back then… Jirou had recently found out that she was actually a lesbian and that identifying as asexual was just a step on her journey to figure herself out, and Eijirou couldn’t help but constantly compare himself to her.

“I thought for a while that maybe I was gay and just hadn’t met the right person before. I thought I had to try, and even though you’d never shown signs of wanting to go further than platonic touches, I kept thinking that it’d come up someday and I was so scared… We’d been friends for what… four years? I can’t believe neither of us had ever talked about our sexuality this whole time,” Eijirou laughs.

“I liked that you never tried to talk about who we find cute and wanting to fuck and all that shit,” Katsuki mutters.

Eijirou smiles. “I know, and I liked that about you too. But it meant I couldn’t be sure what you wanted!”

He’d avoided Katsuki for weeks, after that. Or rather… He’d consciously tried to get closer, and unconsciously became more distant. He tried to initiate more cuddles, to kiss him more often, and they’d even started holding hands a little. Katsuki never stopped him. But at the same time, he also became incredibly tense when Katsuki tried to do the same, and sharing a bed with him made him so nervous he could barely sleep.

Of course, Katsuki didn’t let it happen. He confronted him about it when Eijirou became too obvious, and instead of explaining his current predicament, Eijirou blurted out, “I think we should have sex!”

The look of pure shock and disbelief on Katsuki’s face was hilarious, and it still makes him smile to this day, but it wasn’t his proudest moment. It took Eijirou a while to explain his reasoning, that maybe they really were in a relationship and they should stop denying it, that maybe if they had sex, they could get out of that limbo they were in…

“Eijirou, that’s the most stupid shit I’ve ever heard, what the hell! I’m ace, I don’t want to have sex with you, ever. And are you hearing yourself? Do you even want that shit?”

It was a huge relief for Eijirou, but he was so dead set on his idea that Katsuki and he kept negotiating until they agreed on a kiss. “Like, with tongue and everything?” Eijirou remembers asking, feeling like a teenager again, as if he’d never made out in his life. Katsuki didn’t look enthusiastic at the prospect, but he still nodded.

It felt so awkward Eijirou can’t believe they actually did it. Once they’d both agreed, they spent the next half hour staring at each other nervously.

“So, do you want to do it, or…?” Eijirou asked.

“We said we were fucking doing it, right?” Katsuki said, frowning.

“Yeah, but uh… Are you kissing me, or should I…?” 

It was horrible… Probably one of the most embarrassing moments in Eijirou’s life, and yet still one of his fondest memories.

“I’m not kissing you!” Katsuki exclaimed, looking disgusted. “You said you had experience, and you’re the one who wants us to do that shit! So you should be the one doing it.”

He crossed his arms with an impatient pout that made Eijirou chuckle nervously. He knew it would be easy to lean in and just kiss his friend, but the mere thought felt so weird that he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He never had the chance to think so much when he kissed before, it just happened because his partner wanted to. This was nothing like he was used to!

Still, he did it. It took them several more minutes and Bakugou grumbling about needing to start dinner for him to take the leap, and as soon as their lips met…

…Eijirou knew it had truly been a terrible idea.

There was nothing magical about their kiss. Katsuki was stiff against his lips, and it felt like… well, like lips. Eijirou tried to move a little, to bring in more passion and make his friend relax and participate, but even when Katsuki tentatively followed his lead, it didn’t feel like anything special. It wasn’t bad, once his friend got the hang of it, but even then, it just felt wrong.

They stopped before they even thought about using tongues and agreed never to do it again. Instead, they spent hours talking about their experience and their feelings, until they decided that whether or not their relationship was normal for friends, they were still fine with it.

“Fuck everyone else,” Katsuki concluded back then, in pure Katsuki fashion.

“I’m glad that nothing changed between us, really,” Eijirou continues. “I don’t think you’ll agree with me, Katsuki, but you’re my rock. I don’t know how you do this, but three words from you, spoken with that absolute conviction of yours, can stop hours of overthinking, and I’m so grateful for it.”

“You dumbass, that’s my line,” Katsuki scoffs.

Sadly, it wasn’t the last time Eijirou started overthinking and “hurting himself in his confusion,” as Kaminari likes to put it—as if he isn’t the reason why Eijirou starts doing it most of the time, when it comes to his feelings for Katsuki.

Eijirou can remember so many late night talks with his friends, long after Katsuki’s gone to bed. Because what if he’s really in love with an aromantic Katsuki? What if Katsuki is in love with him but Eijirou is really aromantic? What if one of them falls in love with someone else? Wouldn’t getting married put their friendship at risk, if they have to get a divorce? Whether or not he's in love, is Eijirou truly ready to take a step back if Katsuki ever finds a romantic partner?

What is love, even?

Eijirou never thought it was a question he’d have to ask himself; not since he’d found fitting labels, at least. But Katsuki keeps challenging how he sees himself, both in good and bad ways. Or maybe Eijirou is just a victim of society’s obsession with romance. That’s what Katsuki keeps telling him, at least.

“Katsuki… You’re right. I don’t know what the fuck we’re doing either. And I still don’t have any idea what love is supposed to feel like. I’ve been told that I’m supposed to feel giddy and nervous around the person I like, but you always make me feel comfortable. I’ve been told that I’d want to do things that I wouldn’t do with my friends, but everything I do with you is something I’d do with our friends too. I mean, I’ve cuddled with my friends. I’ve lived together with several of them. I even shared a bed with Jirou for a while, when we moved in together and the mattress she ordered just wouldn’t arrive. I’ve gone on trips with Kaminari and Sero. And sure, I’ve never had a joint account with anyone else, but Mina and I had a grocery jar and in the end, isn’t a joint account just a glorified jar for joint expenses?”

There’s polite chuckles in the audience. Eijirou wasn’t even trying to make them laugh. This is the sort of debates he’s been having with himself for years.

“I guess being ace really makes everything more confusing… And not wanting kids, too. My moms have told me my whole life that when love would come, I’d know it. And as you can see, I still have no idea. So I guess I’m really not in love with you. But I’ve also heard that the butterflies and giddiness are mostly for the beginning, and that true love feels like home. And Katsuki, you’ve been my home for years. I’m still confused and nervous, but I know this for sure. Which… probably makes sense, since we’ve been living together for a while.”

When Eijirou practiced his speech in front of his friends, Kaminari commented on how it was “not very romantic”. Eijirou still feels sappy, saying all of this, even if it’s probably kind of stupid. Katsuki doesn’t look like he wants to strangle him, at least. He’s heard most of Eijirou’s confused thoughts already, anyway. Except the part about feeling like home, because it felt like a huge thing somehow, even if it probably wasn’t.

“Whatever we’re doing, I’ve never been happier with my life,” he continues. “I have you, I’ve made new friends, we even managed to open the dragon sanctuary we’ve been talking about for years! I know it’s been a year already, but I still can’t believe it!”

Their friends cheer in the crowd, and as he remembers how hard they all worked for it and how much he loves them, he feels like crying again.

“Anyway. I’m still not entirely sure if we’re celebrating our romantic love or our platonic bro-love today, but no matter what it is, I’m glad I’m doing it with you. And we’re definitely celebrating the end of my administrative nightmare, so cheers to that!”

Katsuki snorts at the comment and squeezes his hand.

“This is also my promise to you: I’m going to protect what we have, because I agree that we’re doing great. And I also promise to do all the chores while you take care of all the paperwork you’ve taken off my back!” Eijirou concludes.

Katsuki shakes his head, and Eijirou is glad that his conclusion seems to suit him, no matter how lame. It’s not exactly definitive, but even Katsuki didn’t sound all that confident during his speech.

“Does it even fucking matter that we don’t know what we’re doing, if we know we wanna be together?” Katsuki asked him a week ago, when Eijirou had the last of his doubting crisis. “We’re doing it out of convenience, remember?”

It’s what inspired the last bit of his vows. Because Katsuki’s right: they’re not getting married for grand romantic ideals. They don’t need the ceremony to have fun with their friends later. If one of them had decided to call off, they could have just cancelled the wedding and kept the party, and it wouldn’t have affected their friendship in any way. Eijirou’s wanted to spend the rest of his life with Katsuki for a long time now, so married or not, nothing will change.

Runt is called to give them the rings, her frills opening and closing excitedly as they shower her in headpats and scratches. The black bands look neat on their joined hands, Eijirou decides.

“I pronounce you husband and husband,” the officiant says. “You may now kiss.”

A wicked grin appears on both their lips as their eyes meet. Their ringed hands still joined, they raise the other to their new husbands’ shoulders, lean back…

…and headbutt passionately, hard enough to make a satisfying bonk, but not enough to actually hurt.

Since they don’t like kissing all that much, they’d decided to go full dragon-style. They aren’t best friends for nothing, and Eijirou loves how fearless Katsuki is about this.

Their foreheads stay pressed together for a heartbeat, just long enough for his friend to whisper with a devilish smile, “Riot’s mine too now.”

“Katsuki,” Eijirou gasps. “So that was your plan from the beginning, you fiend! It was never about the tax break!”

“And you didn’t suspect a damn thing!” Katsuki says in a perfect imitation of a villain.

They both laugh, and Eijirou says, “You could have said so from the start. How long have you been planning this?”

Katsuki answers with a noncommittal grunt, still looking extremely pleased with himself as he drags him down the alley. They walk out hand in hand, their dragons at their feet and Noodles still proudly perched on Katsuki’s shoulders. Eijirou is glad to realize that nothing has changed between them. And nothing will change either except for the best, if he has a say in it.