Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

QueenBabe Added Bowmaster, CaptainMarvelNerd , and Catra Hernandez to a group chat 

October 3rd, 2020, 1:09 PM

Catra Hernandez: Wtf

Catra Hernandez: Why am I here.

QueenBabe: welcome to hell

Catra Hernandez: ah, home sweet home, the queen has returned.

QueenBabe: but i’ve always been here?

Catra Hernandez: I meant me bitch, you couldn’t run hell even if you tried

QueenBabe: I literally have queen in my name. what about u, Hernandez?

Catra Hernandez: That doesn’t mean anything.

Bowmaster: Glimmer and I thought it would be a good idea to make a group chat for all of us! It just makes it easier than sending text individually to one another.

Catra Hernandez left the chat

Queenbabe added Catra Hernandez to the chat

Catra Hernandez left the chat

Queenbabe added Catra Hernandez to the chat

Catra Hernandez: Sparkles im this close to blocking u

QueenBabe: u won’t, no balls.

Bowmaster: Guys, can we please not have an all out war in the new group chat? 

Catra Hernandez:How would I start a war if I'm on your side?

Bowmaster:I meant like a friendly fire war.

Queenbabe: Fine.

Catra Hernandez: Fine, but only because I actually like you arrowboy.

Bowmaster: :D

Bowmaster renamed the group chat to “ Best Friend Squad GC ”

Catra Hernandez: Why did we agree to that name again?

QueenBabe: We didn’t, we just learned to accept it after awhile.

Catra Hernandez: Ah.

Catra Hernandez: wait.

Catra Hernandez: Aren’t you guys in class?

QueenBabe: Yeah?

Catra Hernandez: Wtf are you guys doing making group chats?Queenbabe: Oh please like you would be focused during calculus.

Catra Hernandez: I actually like math.

Queen Babe: oh grisohdcccccccddddd

Catra Hernandez: Geez sparkles did me liking math give you a stroke?

Bowmaster: She had to put her phone away, the professor caught her.

Catra Hernandez: Ha what a losseefrifrfhrfkff

2:10 PM

QueenBabe: Geez Catra did me getting my phone taken give you a stroke?

Catra Hernandez: Fuck off.

CaptianMarvelNerd: I'm honestly so confused, but also so entertained. 

Bowmaster: ADORA!

CaptainMarvelNerd: BOW!

Catra Hernandez: I hate how they both typed that out the way they greet each other in person.

QueenBabe: I hate that I agree.

CaptainMarvelNerd: Y’all are just jealous of us.

Catra Hernandez: Y’all

Bowmaster: y’all

QueenBabe: Y’All

CaptainMarvelNerd: Can you guys not make fun of my grammar? Like for 1 day?

QueenBabe: Adora, Babe, of course we can’t.

CaptainMarvelNerd: You guys have been doing this since freshman year can we please not

Catra Hernandez: Correction, i’ve been doing it our whole life.

CaptainMarvelNerd: Correction, still isn't funny.

Catra Hernandez: Correction. I think it's very funny.

QueenBabe: Correction, ya know what i think is funny?

CaptainMarvelNerd: what?

QueenBabe: Catra falling down the library stairs and playing it off like it didn’t happen.

Catra Hernandez: You saw that?!

QueenBabe: Yup, it was a great view, i like how you scared the shit out of everyone with how loud you were.

Catra Hernandez: where the fuck are you

QueenBabe: Why?

Catra Hernandez: So i can kill you.

CaptainMarvelNerd: :(

QueenBabe: I don’t think i want to tell you.

Catra Hernandez: i will find you and when i do i will kill you.

QueenBabe: Good luck, loser!!!

CaptainMarvelFan: Bow, this is your free block right?

Bowmaster: Correct-o-mendo!

CaptainMarvelFan: Cool, Cool. Think we can get together at the MysticCafe and study?

Bowmaster: yeah sure, i’ll meet you there

CaptainMarvelFan: Bet.

2:32 PM

QueenBabe: GUYS SHE FOUND MEW

QueenBabe: THIS IS A CODE RED!!!

QueenBabe:SOS!!@!!!@!

QueenBabe: ADORA>>!@NJ@

QueenBabe: BOW!L!?!??@@

BowMaster: Sorry Glimmer! My phone was on silent so I didn't get ur message!!

Catra Hernandez: I took her phone awhile ago, she won't be responding for awhile.

Bowmaster: :( nooo! Catra, can you please give her, her phone back?

Catra Hernandez: no I don't think I will.

Bowmaster: I'll let you join or dnd campaign AND make you a tiny figurine of your character!

Catra Hernandez: is that that nerdy  board game you sparkles and adora play? No thanks.

CaptainMarvelNerd: I'll buy you lunch for the next week

Catra Hernandez: Deal. 

__________________________

Incoming Call from QueenBabe

__________________________

Catra looked at the screen with blurry eyes, why was the pink girl she only just recently friended calling the group chat at 3 in the morning. She wasn’t complaining though, she was getting sick of staring at her desktop, plus she was having a bit of writer's block. Catra answered the call as she was mid yawn,

“What’s up, sparkles? Didn't think you'd call me after today”

“Oh, Hey. I….don't have a reason to really call, I mean adora and bow didn't answer and I just needed to talk with someone because the silence was getting suffocating."

Catra hummed soft adjusting her phone to prop up on her computer, then crossed her arms on her desk and rested her head on them,

“Well Bow and Adora both are on the track team, so they tend to go to bed at like 9 something then wake up at the ass crack of dawn so they can do their early morning workout”

Glimmer yawned slightly before responding,

“How do you know all this?”

“Adora,”

“Really, you remembered all that? When she tried telling me she just kept rambling and getting sidetracked.”

Catra shrugged her shoulders, leaving them in a comfortable quiet, her ears flickering. Mermista, her roommate, was sound asleep with her soft snores. It wasn’t adora or scorpia’s loud obnoxious ones, but it worked somewhat.

“So, why is the Queen of Hell awake at the witch's hour?”

“Trying to finish up this essay on Blues music. What about you, what’s got you all awake?”

“Insomnia.”

Glimmer did seem restless, Her makeup less face showing her deep bags and dual eyes filled with exhaustion. Catra kept shaking her head and blinking, trying to stay up but in the end she ended up falling asleep.

She was probably asleep for 10 minutes before she was shocked back awake for god knows why. Glimmer seemed to have set up her phone and was looking up at her ceiling. Catra couldn't make out much details about the room the girl was in besides a Keyboard set up in the far corner,

"You play piano?" She spoke through a yawn

Glimmer turned her head to look at Catra shocked but then glanced behind her,

"Yeah, I've played since I was small. It was..it was my mom's idea really."

Catra winced and looked away from the screen, silence enveloped them. Catra went back to working on her essay and Glimmer gave her company. The silence wasn't too awkward but it wasn't comfortable, before catra could dwell on it, Glimmer spoke up,

"So…..do you like adora?"

Chapter Text

Glimmer was just curious. She had seen the way the two looked at each other and how they acted when they thought no one was looking. She wasn't expecting Catra to get defensive and retort with,

"Why do you like her?"

In which she was so caught off guard she fumbled to sit up and grab her phone before looking at a confused raised eyebrowed catra,

"No! I do not like her!"

"Then there's your answer, sparkles."

"There's no way you don't  like her in some way! I see how you look at her"

"Oh yeah, so do i."

Glimmer froze and squinted her eyes slightly,

"..What do you mean by that?"

Catra rolled her eyes and leaned her head on her fist before sighing,

"Glimmer you look at adora with this...this look, like….I don't  know it's a look you reserved for her it seems."

Glimmer tried to make since of what catra was saying but just ended up snickering, she doesn't know what she's talking about,

"Sure I do, if anything you give her those looks."

Catra seemed to just roll her eyes and kept trying to write her essay,

"Whatever sparkles, try and get some sleep okay?"

"Sure thing, Good night Hernandez"

"Night to you to Fukonachi"

______

Best Friend Squad GC

October 5th, 2020, 7:41 AM

CaptainMarvelNerd: So quick question…

CaptainMarvelNerd: Is Spaghetti tomato soup but with chunks and noodles?

Bowmaster: No!Why would you say something like that

Catra Hernandez: Yeah, Adora! How could you! It's clearly a Type of ramen

Bowmaster: No! Just no! It's a combination! Not one thing!

Catra Hernandez: .....so it ramen?

Bowmaster: No!

Catra Hernandez: But ramen is a combination! Noodles, water, sauce, veggies and sometimes a egg!

CaptainMarvelNerd: Soup is a combination of those things too!

Bowmaster: why….why are you out to hurt me, why…

QueenBabe: Guys, your both wrong!

Bowmaster: Thank you glimmer! :D

QueenBabe: It's a type if sauce, like ketchup.

Bowmaster: D: that's it, I give up. I'm muting the chat!!! 

Catra Hernandez: It's funny because you can hear the voice cracks in that sentence.

CaptainMarvelNerd: Aww, I kinda feel bad.

QueenBabe: You are the cause of this, so rightfully so. 

Catra Hernandez: Can't relate. I gtg, I gotta figure out a bullshit lie to tell my music theory professor on why I didn't finish my essay.

CaptainMarvelNerd: Good luck! Text me when you're done with your class so I can buy you food.

Catra Hernandez: Speaking my language.

Catra Hernandez: Wanna join us sparkles?

QueenBabe: Sorry guys, i promised Perfuma I would help her run her campaign for the gardening clubs club's presidential election.

CaptainMarvelNerd: I thought she was the president?

QueenBabe: she was vice president. Now, she's trying to run for president and she's going up against another member.

Queenbabe: oh yeah, Bow said he'll join if you two keep the last conversation off the table.

CaptainMarvelNerd: No Promises.

Queenbabe: He sent a frowny face.

CaptainMarvelNerd: It's a good debate topic, he can't blame us. Tell him to hurry up though, we're jogging to campus and we have to be ready to go soon.

QueenBabe: Aye Aye, Captain.

10:25

Bowmaster: GUYS GUYS GUYS!

Bowmaster: BIG BIG NEWS!

Catra Hernandez: What's up arrow boy?

CaptainMarvelNerd: ?

QueenBabe: IS IT WHAT I THINK IT IS?????!!!

Bowmaster: YEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!

QueenBabe: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Bowmaster: I KNOOOOOOWWWWW!

CaptainMarvelNerd: AHHHHHH WHY ARE WE SCREAMING?????!

Catra Hernandez: Yeah, Can you guys spit it out already?

Bowmaster: IM GETTING TOP SURGERY!!!

CaptainMarvelNerd: HOLY SHIT! BOW THATS AMAZING!

Catra Hernandez: Congrats Arrowboy.

Bowmaster: Thanks guys!

QueenBabe: So how did you get the money?

Bowmaster: My dad's actually surprised me, they apparently started a separate fund dedicated to my surgery and my testosterone for, get this, 2 YEARS!

Catra Hernandez: Holy shit! How much money, IS, that?!

Bowmaster: Enough for top surgery apparently!

CaptainMarvelNerd: Well we're happy for you bow! You've come so far and you're finally taking the big leap into becoming who you really are!

Bowmaster: Dawwww thanks guys.

QueenBabe: Now you can stop wearing those stupid binders!

Catra Hernandez: No more crippling dysphoria hopefully.

CaptainMarvelNerd: Chunky soup.

Bowmaster: Adora no please not again.

Catra Hernandez: tomato ramen.

Bowmaster: Guys stop!

QueenBabe: Chunky ketchup.

Bowmaster: I'M MUTING THE CHAT AGAIN!!!!

12:40 PM

Queenbabe: we actually finished so I'll be able to join you guys! Where u @?

Catra Hernandez: Right behind you.

QueenBabe: Bitch move Hernandez.

Catra Hernandez: Maybe, but watching you turn around so quickly you scared the shit out of kyle was entertaining 

QueenBabe: I feel bad! He's poor heart!

Bowmaster: Glimmer please hurry up and come to the table they've been talking about Spaghetti again.

QueenBabe: I would love to if I knew where the fuck you guys are at!

QueenBabe: oh never mind, how could I miss adora shoving two baby carrots up her nose, cucumber eyes and mouth filled with cherry tomatoes.

Catra Hernandez: Correction, choking on cherry tomatoes.

3:01 PM

QueenBabe: We should through a sleepover tonight, to celebrate bow getting top surgery!

Bowmaster: *GASP* GLIMMER THATS A GREAT IDEA! SLEEP OVER AND JUNK FOOD AND DISNEY MOVIES!

CaptainMarvelNerd: I'm in!

Catra Hernandez: ….did you just….type out your gasp?

Bowmaster: Mayhaps I did! Are you gonna join us!!?

Catra Hernandez: yeah, sure why not.

Bowmaster: BSF SLEEPOVER!!!

CaptainMarvelNerd: Heck yeah! And catra could make us something to eat!

Catra Hernandez: uh how's about no. I didn't agree to that.

QueenBabe: Please catra! We can't cook! 

Catra Hernandez: Too bad.

Bowmaster: please, for me?

Catra Hernandez: ……..

Catra Hernandez: fine.

Catra Hernandez: but you guys owe me.

Bowmaster: YAY SLEEP OVER!

CaptainMarvelNerd: Catra what are you gonna make?

Catra Hernandez: tomato ramen.

Bowmaster: why must you guys make me suffer?

QueenBabe: Because we love you.

Bowmaster: IF YOU LOVED ME YOU'D LET IT GO!

Catra Hernandez: was that your own rendition of P!ATD This is gospel?

Bowmaster: yup!

QueenBabe: could be worse.

Catra Hernandez: fair.

CaptainMarvelNerd: so are we doing this at glimmers apartment?

QueenBabe: duh, I'm the only one here with an apartment.

Catra Hernandez: Do you have like actual food in this apartment you speak of?

QueenBabe: If you mean something besides ramen and ketchup packets from McDonald's, no.

Catra Hernandez: Figured. Alright, I'll bring my own ingredients.

QueenBabe: good luck with that.

CaptainMarvelNerd: so nobody was going to inform me that Spaghetti ISN'T ramen?

Bowmaster left the group chat

Catra Hernandez: oop-

Chapter Text

     Catra wasn't sure why texting was hard, especially when it's just Glimmer. She would type one thing out, then delete it, type another thing, then delete it. The group chat was easier to talk in. It wasn't just her talking to Glimmer, it was also her talking to Bow and Adora. It was simple and easy, but texting Glimmer privately, one on one, felt….too intimate.

Catra ran a hand through her hair as her eyes narrowed at the text she had written out but only to soften at the last text few text sent between them.

_

December 24, 2018, 2:36 AM

Catra Hernandez: Hey, we're on our way.

QueenBabe: Your not texting and driving are you?!

Catra Hernandez: Do you really think you're mom would let me? No, im not driving yet.

QueenBabe: Be safe okay? Text me when you get here!

Catra Hernandez: I will, Angela says Hi, she loves you, and she can't wait to see you.

QueenBabe: Tell her I said hi and I can't wait to see her too! 

Catra Hernandez: Okay, the cars all packed, we'll be there soon. I love you

QueenBabe: I love you too

_

Reading the text over again felt like a scalpel slowly reopening her poorly patched up heart. It wasn't how she imagined Christmas Eve to go, especially after having that conversation with her mom. It was supposed to be….

Catra quickly exited from the messages between the two and just stuck with texting Adora,

_

October 5th, 2020, 7:12 PM

Catra Hernandez: Yo, does Glimmer still live in the same apartment complex?

CaptainMarvelNerd: Yup! Want me to give you a ride there?

Catra Hernandez: Sure, but i gotta stop at the grocery store first.

CaptianMarvelNerd: Fine by me. Be there in 10.

_

Adora knew something was up.

For as long as she has known the Heterochromic eyed women, she knew something was on her mind. When Adora pulled up Catra had gotten in quietly, hugging her bookbag close to her chest. While shopping,Adora would try to start up a conversation but she wasn't really listening. Catra would just look out far off and hum a response. Now they're back in her truck and catra curled up again.

Adora couldn't think of anything that would be bother her, unless she was nervous?

It clicked for Adora and she glanced at catra before she returned her eyes to the road,

"Have you never been to a sleepover before catra?"

"What-"

"It's okay to be nervous! They're really fun and we watch movies and eat junk food and maybe even play games! Oh and-"

"Adora...what the hell are you talking about?"

Adora glanced at catra who was giving her a confused look, which in turn confused adora as she furrowed her eyebrows,

"Well that's why you're upset right? You're nervous because this is your first sleepover?"

She heard Catra sigh before responding,

"No, Adora this isn't my first sleepover."

"Oh….then….what is bothering you?"

At that question catra got silent, so maybe Adora wasn't right the first time,  trial and error she's learned, maybe she felt forced? Or maybe she does feel nervous?

Adora slowed the car to a red light before looking at Catra who glanced at adora before looking away again. Adora placed her hand on top of catras hand and gave a reassuring smile,

"Well, if you don't wanna tell me, that's okay. Just know I'm here for you okay?"

She wasn't sure if this was helping but she hoped it was. She ignored her heart's increased beating and her stomach butterflies as catra intertwined their hands, the girl looked at adora with a weak but grateful smile before letting out a shaky breath,

"This is the first time I'll be staying at Glimmers place in 2 years."

That confused adora,

"What do you mean in 2 years? I thought you and Glimmer always hated each other..?"

"No...We dated for a few months then started hating each other.."

Adora's eyes widened as she took in this new information,

"WHAT!"

Catra winced and quickly looked away her face red and bashful,

"It was a long time ago okay! We met during freshman year, she and I were in marching band together, she a trumpet player while I played drums. We just clicked. We got an apartment together and truly we loved one another…..but It didn't last...and we had a messy break up."

Adora started driving again, her grip on catras hand was tight, the information given was a lot.

"So….the apartment she's in was.."

"Yeah. That apartment was ours. A gift from her mom…"

Adora felt herself struggling to digest this information, all she could do was let out the breath she held.

The rest of the drive to the apartment was silent besides the faint sounds of some country song playing in the background.

_______

She felt like throwing up.

Adora had pulled up to the painstakingly familiar complex and felt her stomach twist with regret. She shouldn't have said yes, she should have just stayed at her dorm and cuddle melog. Maybe then she wouldn't have to feel like this.

Why now did she decide to feel like this? She hangs out with Glimmer almost everyday now and they've both have worked past their issues, they're friends. Why does being here bother her so much?

The gentle squeeze of her hand brings her back to reality, She looks at adora who gave her that stupid reassuring smile, it made her feel less sick and a bit better,

"You won't be in there alone with her, me and bow will be there. If you feel uncomfortable just let me know, I'll drive you back to your dorm, okay?"

Catra felt her heart warm and stutter a beat, she quickly shoved down those feelings she's been hiding and smiled weakly at Adora,

"Thanks, 'Dora.."

Adora smiled more before letting go of her hand so she could get out. At the lose of her hand, she felt her heart sink again. She took a deep breath.

She quickly shoved the bag of ingredients into her bookbag before getting out of the car and following Adora. Each step feeling heavier as they reached the front door, and got even heavier as they got to the elevator. Catra feels her palms become sweaty as she watches the numbers tick up.

She suddenly felt like screaming, like running. She felt trapped like this was a bad idea, she needed to run, or get away. Before she could plan her escape, Adora held her hand again and squeezed it gently, she looked concerned but catra was okay, this was okay, she'll just shove it down again. She can deal with this later. 

Once they reached the door, she felt herself melting, sinking to the floor as the weight became too much, as soon as the door opened and she caught a glimpse of the apartment, she felt the running away feeling flourish again with new strength as she look at bow paralyzed. He was in pajama bottoms and a blue crop top with a cat outlined,

"Hey Guys! Glad you made it! Why do you come one in and-"

She toned him out once she saw the smiling pink and purple haired girl giving the two an excited smile. She felt the feeling surround her until it finally exploded, she quickly let go of Adora's hand and started to run.

RUN. RUN. RUN. 

She could hear someone call out to her but she couldn't hear them, she just knew she needed to run. She reached the stair well and quickly ran down them, once she hit the ground floor she dashed through it and out into the parking lot. She contemplated taking Adora's truck before deciding against it and just running into the forest to the side. She wasn't far enough.

Her lungs hurt from running, her limbs ached as they endured being hit by low hanging branches. Soon, she ran into an open field  that held abandoned train tracks. She felt herself slow down as she reached the tracks, breathing in harshly as she felt her panic subside. 

She knew she ran quite a bit away, she took one more big deep breath of air before collapsing onto the ground exhausted and feeling sobs choke out from her throat.

After crying for a bit, she looked up at the sky that held many stars and sniffled. Finally, away from that heavy feeling, her tears slowly stopping, until she was left with nothing but the night animals of the woods.

A snapping twig caught her attention though,

"It's dangerous to be running around at night, dearie."

Catra smiled slightly as she looked at the old lady who was walking her way towards Catra,

"Hola, Abuela."

"Oh! C'yra! it's been quite awhile! You know, you look alot younger than I remember."

Catra winced before giving an apologetic frown,

"I'm not…..nevermind. Sorry, Abuela. I've just been busy with college and-"

"Bah! Do not worry, dearie! Razz knows you're busy. No time for cooky old ladies in the woods!"

"What! No! Abuela-"

Razz raised her hand and sat down next to Catra, using her staff to help her. Once she was seated she looked at Catra,

"So C'yra, what brings you here?"

Catra sighed,

"My friends wanted to throw a sleep over, but one of them is my ex, and she still lives in our old apartment, I ended up running away….I have no clue why-"

Before catra could finish, she felt something blunt smack the top of her head. She hissed and held her head before pouting at Razz,

"Ow! Abuela, that hurt!"

"Do not, 'Abuela', me! You do know why."

"No I really don't-"

TWHACK!

"OW! ABUELA, PLEASE!"

Razz huffed and shook her head at catra,

"Why did you run?"

Catra huffed before thinking over, how she felt and the reason why she ran,

"Because……..because I panicked….being back there after what happened to her mom and being in there I just…..I had to get away"

Razz hummed satisfied before she stood up shakingly, 

"You can't keep running from your feelings, dearie"

"I'm not-"

"Especially, your guilt."

Catra felt her mouth turn dry at the word,she looked down, she heard Razz sigh before a hand pats her head,

"Dearie, you have been running for so long. It's time to stop and face what you fear."

As soon as Catra looks up, Razz is gone. It was as if she wasn't there. Catra chuckled softly before laying down fully on her back. The stars shimmering brightly, she knew what the old lady was telling her but she wasn't sure she was ready. Then again, she always shows up when Catra needs guidance. How was she going to face her fears.

When she figured out how, she felt like throwing up all over again.

Chapter Text

October 5th, 2020, 8:20 pm

Catra Hernadez missed your video call.

Catra Hernadez missed your video call.

Catra Hernadez missed your video call.

Catra Hernadez missed your video call.

Catra Hernadez missed your video call.

Catra Hernadez missed your video call.

Catra Hernadez missed your video call.

Catra Hernadez missed your video call.

__

Glimmer pressed the call button again as she walked into the forest. A few minutes after catra ran off they started their own personal search party. Adora would take her truck and drive down the roads in search of the feline, while Bow and Glimmer searched in the woods seen as it was dark and he didn’t want glimmer being stabbed suddenly by some crazy person in the woods. So here they were walking into the woods, at night, in pajamas, looking for catra.  

Glimmer held bows arm as they pushed deeper into the forest, as soon as they did her service dropped. She scowled,

“Stupid phone.."

Bow glanced down at her before looking back up surveying the area with his phones flashlight,

"Glimmer, she probably won't-"

"I know that Bow! I just….it was worth a try" she murmured, gripping her phone tightly before putting it away.

"We'll find her, Glims. No matter what, we will."

Glimmer huffs but doesn't respond as they kept pushing through the forest. Glimmer felt her brain stir inside of skull trying to form up an explanation or reason for the feline women's sudden action and disappearance,

"I think she was anxious."

Glimmer snapped her head at bow, who was still looking ahead but would glance down at Glimmer from time to time,

"How come?"

"Because she's never had a sleepover before, per Adora's words."

Glimmer snickered,

"And you believe her."

Bow smiled and hummed in thought, 

"Well, not particularly, especially when she's forcing a sheepish grin and she over explains, but.."

Bows smile sombered,

"She was scared and anxious, that much we all can see. So why? Why did she run?"

Glimmer sighed and leaned more into bow, stepping over a log in their way. Those were the questions she wanted answered, and hoped she could rack her brain...why did she run?

The pair continued to walk in silence besides the sound of wildlife and the crunch of leaves and sticks as they walked, Glimmer was about to speak her thoughts before they heard someone humming and walking towards them from their left.

They both quickly hold onto each other with wide eyes,

“Glimmer...you hear it too right?” Bow whispered shakily,

“Y...yeah….we...we’ll turn towards it on 3..”

“Okay..”

“1…..2...3!”

They both turn quickly and point their phones up illuminating a wide eye frozen in place Catra. Bow and glimmer’s eyes widen just as much in shock as they stare at their feline friend. Catra soon just awkwardly waved,

“Hey......i didn’t….um...i didn’t expect you guys to come after me...”

Glimmer was the first to shake out of her shock and marched over to catra and hitting her in her arm before hugging her tightly,

“Of course we came after you dumbass! We care about you!”

Catra winced her ears flat against her ears, looking down with a guilty expression at the shorter girl,

“I'm sorry…”

Bow walked over and hugged both of them tightly,

“It’s okay, we’re just glad you're safe.”

“Why did you run away?”

Catra was quiet for a second before gently pulling out of the hug, glimmer watched her as she rubbed her neck her other hand clenched at her side,

“Um….well….it’s…well…”

Glimmer reached out and gently took her  clenched hand and held it looking at her reassuringly,

“Take your time, you don’t have to talk about it right now if you don’t want-”

“No! No...I...i do um….but i need to talk with you first,” She glanced over to bow before focusing her attention on glimmer, “in...um...in private.”

“Oh.”

Bow scratched his head but smiled at catra.

“I’ll head back and let adora know we found you. Don’t be out for long okay? We’ll be at the apartment okay?”

Bow walked over and gave Catra a quick hug with a reassuring squeeze before he started heading back the way they came from. Once he was a bit aways Catra started walking in that direction as well, but slowly. Glimmer followed, she didn’t want to rush the feline and just waited for her to speak. She did after a few minutes,

“We never really talked about it, ya know.”

“About what?”

“That day...Christmas Eve...We….” She glanced over at her before looking forward, “ We never talked about it”

Glimmer bit the inside of her cheek at the mention of Christmas Eve. If this was a year ago she probably wouldn’t be talking to Catra right now. Glimmer nodded slowly looking at Catra letting her continue,

“....You said you forgive me, but…...i can’t help feel like your lying,”

Before glimmer could get a word in she quickly continued,

“I know, it stupid, you did forgive me, you sat with me and we talked and you told me you forgive me but…..i...i can’t accept that because, how could you forgive me? How could you be so merciful and forgive me for taking your mom away, i…..you have to secretly hate me…”

She looked at Glimmer, desperately searching for something, anything to solidify her thoughts,

“I killed-”

“Stop it.”

Catra’s eyes widen at Glimmer’s serious gaze, her eyebrows furrowed as she spoke,

“You are not going to finish that sentence and your gonna listen to me, Hernandez.”

Glimmer stopped completely and grabbed both of catra’s hands before she spoke,

“You did not kill my mom, Catra. You were in a car accident and the other driver was at fault. I know back when this all happened i lashed out at you, but i was angry….neither of has had control over what happened that morning,” Glimmer pulled Catra into a tight hug before continuing in a soft whisper,”It was insensitive of me to lash out on you and i'm so sorry you thought this was all your fault...i know you loved my mom just as much as i did.”

Catra felt her eyes sting as tears started to swell, she looked up to try and prevent them from falling, she’s cried to much tonight,

“....i’m sorry for how i treated you afterward..”

“And i forgave you, you were going through shit too...i'm sorry for putting all the blame on your shoulders.”

“...S’fine”

They stayed like that for a little longer before slowly continuing to walk, a little closer than before. The silence between them wasn’t uncomfortable, it was soothing almost, allowing the two to process and digest each other’s statements as well as how they felt about the whole situation, for both of them though, it was a weight lifted off their shoulders.

“Is that why you ran?”

Catra scratched her chin slightly as she looked ahead,

“I mean...not necessarily, it was also because it would have been the first time i’ve been in that apartment since….ya know .... So I guess my body and brain was panicking and thinking it was endanger…? So...i guess in short...yeah.”

“That’s a very therapist way to explain a panic attack”

“I mean...that is how perfuma explained a panic attack”

Glimmer snorted and laughed softly, Catra flashed her a weak grin.

--------------

Catra gripped the straps of her backpack tightly, as they made their way down the hall towards Glimmer’s apartment. She didn’t feel like running or screaming this time,  but she did feel anxious and a little scared. She flinched when she felt glimmer gently rest a hand on her shoulder, giving her a patient smile,

“You don’t have to stay if you don’t feel comfortable.”

Catra nodded slightly as they approached the apartment door. Glimmer glanced at Catra one more time before she opened the door. Before Catra could get a good look at the apartment Adora basically tackled her with a hug, causing them to stumble backwards. She let out a weak squeak laugh before hugger her back,

“I was so worried about you i..i looked at all your usual hiding spots and i got scared that you relapsed again and i know that stupid because you haven’t done anything like that for months but with how you were acting i-”

“Hey, it’s okay. I didn’t do anything like that..i just got overwhelmed and panicked. I’m Sorry for worrying you so much ‘dora.” Adora looked down at Catra and smiled softly,

“I’m just glad you're okay.”

Bow poked his head out of the door way,

“Hey, how about we just finish this night off with some take-out and watching some shows on Netflix?”

“Sounds like a plan to me!

“I’m done, what about you Cat?”

Catra gave Bow and apologetic look,

“Hey, i'm sorry for-”

Bow raised his head and shook his head,

“Nope! No more apologizing! Let’s just move past whatever you're about to apologize for and have a fun Best Friend Squad Sleepover!”

Catra smiled as they all walked into the apartment, where they ordered some thai food and watched ATLA and bundled up together, and honestly?

Catra felt safe.

Chapter Text

October 7th, 2020, 11:08 AM

Catra Hernandez: Imagine waking up and you're just hot.

CaptainMarvelNerd: Idk i’d probably just open a window, maybe turn on my fan?

QueenBabe: I CAN'T BREATHE-

CaptainMarvelNerd: Oh no! Do you need help? Where are you!?!

Bowmaster: Adora….

Catra Hernandez: Adora, change your Username rn.

CaptainMarvelNerd: wha?

QueenBabe: First off, She meant like wake up and you were physically hot, Adora.

QueenBabe: Second off

Catra Hernandez: uh, you gonna finish your statement?

QueenBabe Sent a Photo

Bowmaster: ADORA WHERE  DID YOU GET AN AXE? WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES?!

Catra Hernandez's: wow, Adora's a firefighter now, that's hot.

QueenBabe: SHE FUCKING TOOK DOWN MY DOOR! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN THAT TO MY LANDLORD?!

Catra Hernandez: Adora, you big dumb lesbian thembo.

QueenBabe sent a photo.

QueenBabe: THE FUCKING POLICE ARE HERE!!!!!!!!!!

Bowmaster: OH GOD, IM ON MY WAY!

Catra Hernandez: how are we gonna get out of class?

Bowmaster: We set up the Adora clause, remember?

Catra Hernandez: Oh shit, that's right the Adora Clause- we'll be there in 10, Sparkles!

QueenBabe: YO SHE'S FUCKING  TRYING TO FIT HER BIG DUMBASS MUSCLE SELF THROUGH MY BEDROOM WINDOW-

Bowmaster: AREN'T YOU ON THE 3RD FLOOR?!?

QueenBabe: SHE SAID IF YOU CAN SQUEEZE THROUGH A 1 BLOCK HOLE IN MINECRAFT THE SAME LOGIC SHOULD APPLY IN REAL LIFE- I-

Catra Hernandez: She's Fucking brain damaged, all that time on a farm fucked her up-

Bowmaster: Didn't you also live on the farm?

Catra Hernandez: I stand by my statement.

QueenBabe: SHE'S STUCK-

QueenBabe sent a photo

Catra Hernandez: What are you doing, step bro-

Bowmaster: Catra!

Catra Hernandez: what? You can't say you weren't thinking the same thing.

Bowmaster: I wasn't! Anyways, where you at?!!?

Catra Hernandez: almost there.

October 8th, 2020, 1:47 AM

Catra Hernandez: am I the only one who thinks it's Fucking cool as shit that I can transmit my thoughts by simply staring into someone's eees?

Catra Hernandez: eeys*

Catra Hernandez: eys*

Catra Hernandez: I's*

QueenBabe: how high are you?

Catra Hernandez: 5'6

QueenBabe: yeah okay I'm on my way, don't move.

Catra Hernandez: bet, let's Fucking transmit thought's once you get here

QueenBabe: Sure thing, Cat.

8:40 AM

Bowmaster: Why were you two up at 1 in the morning!?!?

BigDumbLesbianThembo: why was catra high?

Bowmaster: Maybe they're not up yet?

BigDumbLesbianThembo: Maybe, But that's besides the point, Y'all need to go to bed on time! Staying up past 12 is bad for you!

Catra Hernandez: Y'll

QueenBabe: Y'all

Catra Hernandez: Y'all*

Bowmaster: Good morning guys! What time did you go to bed?

QueenBabe: who said we slept?

Bowmaster: D: That's not healthy!

Catra Hernandez: when was I ever healthy?

Catra Hernandez: Also i see you did what i said adora-

BigDumbLesbianThembo: that's not important right now, don't you guys have class? And I thought you didn't smoke anymore cat, what happened?

Catra Hernandez: Nothing happened, mermista says smoking and offered me her blunt and I was like, why the fuck not I don't have any classes today.

QueenBabe: I do have class but someone had to babysit Mermista and Catra. Mermista wasn't too bad, she just kinda Ugh'd and debated with catra's ideas.

QueenBabe: Catra though, would giggle softly before booping my nose, would whine about wanting, and I quote, chicky nuggies, question everything that made sense, spit some stupid idea or some Fucking inspiration, then get Fucking depressed.

Catra Hernandez: my favorite high as of late. My favorite parts so far was my debate that cheese is fake and that "just because you're trash doesn't mean you can't do great things, it's called a garbage can not a garbage cannot"

Bowmaster: wow that's very inspiring but also very like a...what's it called.

BigDumbLesbianThembo: Morbid?

Bowmaster: what? no.

BigDumbLesbianThembo: Spicy?

QueenBabe: wtf adora, he's looking for actual thing

BigDumbLesbianThembo: A Spicy Lesbian

BigDumbLesbianThembo: ya know like

BigDumbLesbianThembo: 💃💃💃

Catra Hernandez: Spicy Lesbian huh? I like it.

Bowmaster: a backhanded compliment! That's what it's called!

BigDumbLesbianThembo: what's that?

ASpicyLesbian: here's an example: Adora I like your shirt, did you get it at a thrift store?

BigDumbLesbianThembo: No, but I did get it from Walmart!

BigDumbLesbianThembo: Also I like the username!

ASpicyLesbian: Adora you're a dumbass.

BigDumbLesbianThembo: that's not very nice.

QueenBabe: Before you two start flirting again, don't forget that you have to do community service at the beach today.

BigDumbLesbianThembo: We were flirting?

ASpicyLesbian: We Were NOT Flirting! That's what you and bow do.

QueenBabe: No we don't!

Bowmaster: well…

QueenBabe: Shut up bow.

Bowmaster: shutting up.

BigDumbLesbianThembo: Simp.

Bowmaster: hey! It's okay to be a simp!

ASpicyLesbian: change your nickname then

Bowmaster: I will….after mine and Adora's track meet. Btw, you ready adora?

BigDumbLesbianThembo: Yeah, I'm about to jog your way.

Bowmaster: cool cool.

QueenBabe: have fun you guys.

ASpicyLesbian: Don't Die.

3:13 PM

ASpicyLesbian: How does one kill themselves in like a badass way?

ASpicyLesbian: Like in a way where people talk about it because it was just such a Fucking cool way to go?

MegaSimp: Are you okay?

ASpicyLesbian: Not in the slightest.

MegaSimp: Well then I'm heading over.

ASpicyLesbian: What? No, don't you have like idk something else to do?

MegaSimp: Literally nothing else, Glimmer is doing stuff for her debate club and Adora's serving her time. So I'm on my way.

ASpicyLesbian: Ya know, I'm suddenly doing 100 times better, you don't need to come over.

MegaSimp: I'll be there in 10

ASpicyLesbian: Fine, but if your empty handed I'm not opening the door.

MegaSimp: Noted.

       20 minutes later, Bow was knocking a pattern on the door as he waited for Catra to open up. He wasn't sure exactly what Catra had meant by don't come empty handed, but he thinks she meant food wise. When the door opened he was met with the strong smell of weed and Catra in a sweater that said ACAB and sweatpants, her already short hair in a small ponytail in the back. Bow smiled happily at the girl and held up the bag of food and drinks, to which Catra just sighed and stepped aside.

"Thank you for not slamming the door in my face."

"Yeah well...you brought something and I don't go back on my words"

Bow looked around the dorm room, looking at both mermista's and the felines sides. Mermista felt more Suburban Bungalow Vibes mixed with A punk aesthetic, while catra side basically yelled Messy Artist and Musician. He wasn't sure where to sit so he just sat at the desk that sat in between the two sides, setting the bag on Catra's bed,

" I wasn't sure what you wanted so I just got you what you had the last time we went to McDonald's, 20 piece Chicken Nuggets with Sweet and Sour sauce, Large fries, and a sweet tea!"

Catra walked over and sat on her bed, digging through the bag before eating some of the fries,

"Good move, because that's the only thing I eat from there."

Bow chuckled softly before taking his Sprite he got and took a sip before he started a conversation,

"So, What have you been up to? Any big projects you got going on"

Catra shrugged as she continued eating her fries, 

"I mean I've mainly just been sleeping today, it's rare for me not to have any classes so I'm taking advantage of it. As for big projects...hm...well I have to write a song for Professor Netossa's Class."

"I don't think I know what you major is?"

"Oh, I'm a Double major, Music Theory and Digital Art. I minor in Songwriting."

Bow's eyes widen as he choked slightly on his drink,

"You can do that?!"

"Uh yeah?"

"Isn't it like, overwhelming or hard? How did you even manage that?!"

Catra, again, shrugged while she dug into the bag,

"I mean, yeah it's a sacrifice to gain kinda ordeal, but I manage. That's why i said It's extremely rare for an off day. Even so, I still have stuff I need to get done before tomorrow."

"How do you even make time to hang out with us?!"

"Well, I mean I scheduled for classes on the week days and I just left the weekends open. I mean besides like 1 class that I have to take on Sunday, but other than that it's just about how you handle the stress."

Bow set his drink down and leaned back in the chair, actually really interested in what the feline was telling him. This was their first one on one, face to face, conversation,

"How do you hand it?"

"Well I mainly, either hang with or video call Perfuma, she's my therapist. She gives me insight on how to deal with certain situations and suggests methods to help calm me down. Weed is like one of them, she even offered to sign me a perception for medical weed but I wouldn't trust it around mermista."

"Wait...Perfuma's a therapist already"

Catra snickered as she popped a chicken nugget into her mouth,

"Well Kinda? She's on her last year, so she's been doing internships. Just so happens it's with my actual therapist. Though Perfuma gets me way better than Kevin does."

"Hm, so your okay? Like...mentally and shit, just stressed"

Catra paused and furrowed her eyes brows, she then set back down the nugget she had in her hands,

"Mm…...no...no I'm still very mentally fucked up but...I'm working on it."

Bow nods scratching his neck awkwardly,

"Is therapy helping any?"

"I mean yeah, kinda. I have someone to help talk through my emotions and trauma as well as someone to make sure I go to AA every Monday night."

They both fell silent for a bit before Catra spoke up,

"What about you, Arrowboy. What's your major?"

"Oh uh! I'm majoring in Biomedical engineering and minoring in archaeology"

"Gay."

"Wow, very insightful of you."

They continued their conversation for the next hour before he had to leave, once he reached the door he turned back to catra  with a soft smile,

"Hey, I'm glad that you're doing okay and that I got to hang out with you! We should do this again."

Catra smiled back,

"I had fun too, arrowboy…"

Catra's ears pinned to the side of her head as she looks down, her tail wrapping around her waist, 

"Thank you for...I guess caring enough to come over and check on me…"

"Of course, if you ever feel like your having a bad mental day, just shoot me a text. I'll come hang out with you for as long as I can."

Catra smiled at bow again,

"I'll keep that in mind, see ya later, Arrowboy"

"See ya."

He said before leaving the dorm room. He's honestly glad he had time to go check on the feline. After the whole running into the woods thing at Glimmers he's been wanting to check up on her, but Adora usually did or Glimmer. Honestly, he was kinda jealous of his two friends.

They each knew Catra better and longer than he did, so he didn't know much about her or her past with the other two. What he did know was that they each hurt each other in some way, and Catra gained most of the backlash and negative long term effects. Nonetheless, he was scared that Catra would hurt herself or self destruct her progress today, so he made sure she didn't.

He hopes this allows the feline to see that he cares about her just as much as the other two and that it's okay to need help.

As he was halfway back to his dorm he felt his phone vibrate , he unlocked his phone and looked at what was sent to him, he smiled responding and continued to walk.

4:39 PM

ASpicyLesbian: Thank you, again.

MegaSimp: no need to, that's what friends are for.

Chapter Text

October 10th 2020, 8:56 PM

ASpicyLesbian: I bet you I could guess all of your passwords for your phone.

QueenBabe: Alright bet, guess mine.

ASpicyLesbian: Easy, 69420

QueenBabe: bitch-

MegaSimp: Really glimmer?

QueenBabe: shut up bow.

MegaSimp: Shutting up.

ASpicyLesbian: stop being mean to the man who has all our birthday months as his password

BigDumbLesbianThembo: That's pretty long-

ASpicyLesbian: Adora it's in numbers.

BigDumbLesbianThembo: Oh….

MegaSimp: okay hold on you don't know that.

ASpicyLesbian: Yes I do, I've watched you all unlock your phones.

QueenBabe: Creep.

ASpicyLesbian: I do what I must.

Megasimp: Okay what's Adora's?

ASpicyLesbian: Either my birthday or the first 6 numbers of pi.

BigDumbLesbianThembo: .....Okay well your password is my birthday

ASpicyLesbian: Wrong.

BigDumbLesbianThembo: What! Yes it is! I put it in there myself

ASpicyLesbian: Yeah but I changed it like a week ago.

QueenBabe: Then what is it?

ASpicyLesbian: why would I tell you?

QueenBabe: Because you know all our passwords and you love us?

ASpicyLesbian: mmmm….no.

MegaSimp: please?

ASpicyLesbian: Don't think I will.

QueenBabe: What if we buy you Taco Bell.

ASpicyLesbian: wow do you guys really think you can always buy me out with food!?!

ASpicyLesbian: Because you're damn right, it's 1415181

BigDumbLesbianThembo: oh wow that's better than my birthday  :)

MegaSimp: what does it mean?

ASpicyLesbian: it's an inside joke...and my favorite number.

BigDumbLesbianThembo: Changing mine to 3120181

ASpicyLesbian: CopyCat.

BigDumbLesbianThembo: Simp.

ASpicyLesbian: Shut up.

BigDumbLesbianThembo: make me.

ASpicyLesbian: I'll change my password, Adora.

BigDumbLesbianThembo: wait, wait don't!

QueenBabe: As lovely as this conversation is, do you guys want to hang out since I'll be headed that way anyway to get Taco Bell?

ASpicyLesbian: Depends, can we watch Kitchen Nightmares

QueenBabe: ......while we eat?

ASpicyLesbian: uh yeah? what got a weak stomach to spoiled food.

BigDumbLesbianThembo: I wanted to watch Forged in Fire…

ASpicyLesbian: No body wants to watch that stupid show about making swords Adora.

BigDumbLesbianThembo: First of all, It's not stupid, it's one of the coolest shows around, about making weapons and obliterating things.

BigDumbLesbianThembo: Secondly, please? :(

ASpicyLesbian: first off, of course the girl with giant muscles would like a show about smashing shit.

ASpicyLesbian: Secondly, no, Kitchen nightmares.

QueenBabe: fuck u both we're watching Euphoria.

ASpicyLesbian: Hard pass.

QueenBabe: it's gay.

ASpicyLesbian: I know but I'd also prefer not to be triggered and book a double session this week.

MegaSimp: How about we just watch Wanda vision...or like youtube?

QueenBabe: Ughhhhh can we please just decide this when I pick your  dumbasses up?

ASpicyLesbian: who said I was coming?

QueenBabe: Me. Hurry up and Get ready.

ASpicyLesbian: wow sparkles, take me on a date first.

QueenBabe: fuck you.

ASpicyLesbian: Date first.

QueenBabe: I'm right outside your dorm building, grab adora and get your fucking ass out here and in the Fucking car.

October 13th, 2020, 4:20 PM

MegaSimp: So my surgery is set for some time on the 28th of this month or the 14th of next month.

ASpicyLesbian: oh so you could be getting those blobs off your chest on my birthday? Probably the best gift to be given.

MegaSimp: daww that's an oddly nice thing for you to say.

ASpicyLesbian: I try.

TheThemboLimbo: okay so does that mean you're staying with your dads or are you staying with Glimmer?

ASpicyLesbian: Adora who the fuck came up with you're username, I'm upset I didn't  come up with it first.

TheThemboLimbo: uh I did.

ASpicyLesbian: no you Fucking didn't you couldn't even come up with a good middle name when we were younger, Mrs.RainbowSmiles

TheThemboLimbo: your speaking mighty big words there for someone who picked Applesauce

QueenBabe: okay well now you both need to change your usernames to your nicknames. I'm going to tease you relentlessly.

ASpicyLesbian: first off, no because I like my username and you can go fuck off

ASpicyLesbian: Secondly, if you ever bring up or say Applesauce without having some on hand, I will actively swat your house.

TheThemboLimbo: besides glim, you haven't changed your username since 10th grade.

QueenBabe: fine want me to change my name, I'll change my name

ASpicyLesbian: no Fucking way you are.

MegaSimp: um to answer the question, I will be staying with my dads the day before my surgery but I'll be staying with Glimmer during the healing process.

E-girlsRuinLives: Choke me like you hate me.

ASpicyLesbian: but you love me lowkey wanna date me when you fuck me touch me with the lights off and your chains on baby I'm not the right one you should wait on. She's a freak little bad hoe Gaspare told me kill it I said let me grab my death note. She pull me in like a lasso saying that she know me I don't even know her @ though 

E-girlsRuinLives: ...did….did you just type that all out…?

ASpicyLesbian: yes. I did.

E-girlsRuinLives: you a corpse fan

ASpicyLesbian: since his scary story videos.

MegaSimp: ......uh...is it bad I don't know who that is?

TheThemboLimbo: Isn't he the guy with the deep voice…?

E-girlsRuinLives: >:0 get yer asses over here, we are gonna educate you uncultured sons of bitchs.

ASpicyLesbian: Can't. Got therapy :/

E-girlsRuinLives: you get a pass because you already know who he is plus therapy is more important.

ASpicyLesbian: still.

TheThemboLimbo: Uh I got community service.

E-girlsRuinLives: okay well I don't want you to get arrested. So….bow?

MegaSimp: It's your lucky day Ms. Glimmer Moonstone, I'm free for the rest of the day.

E-girlsRuinLives: bet then get yer ass over here!

MegaSimp: Im on my way, but just so you know we ARE gonna get some studying in there because ya know  winter exams are coming up soon.

E-girlsRuinLives: Ugh, fine.

October 14th, 2020, 1:02 AM

|Direct messages|

TheThemboLimbo: You Awake?

ASpicyLesbian: Course. What's up?

TheThemboLimbo: umm… well...can we call?

ASpicyLesbian: sure

Incoming call from TheThemboLimbo

     Adora adjusted their phone as they waited for Catra to answer. They smiled slightly at the sound of the call being accepted,

"Hey Adora-.. are...are you outside?"

Adora laughed slightly, "yes I'm outside. I know it's stupid of me to be out here so early."

"Mhm, sure I mean I think you're fine with how much muscle you're packing so I'm not too concerned...what I am concerned about however is why you're outside at this hour and where you are."

Adora shifted slightly from where they sat, They looked up at the sky debating whether they should reveal their location,

"Mmm…..im….somewhere."

"Adora."

They winced at the tone Catra gave her, averting her gaze,

"Adora. Where. Are. You?"

They sighed weakly and leaned against the beam that held up the structure she sat upon,

"Thaymor Bridge…."

Adora heard Catra quickly shift from her position to sitting up,

"Why...why are you there?"

Adora looked out at the water that flowed calmly down below them for a long while, ironically how it did anything but calm them but taunt them,

"I'm...I'm not too sure if I'm being honest. I mean only bad things happen here. We stopped being friends here, People died here,.....i almost died here." Adora laughed weakly," I mean, isn't that a sick joke? Everyone, all those people, died here and yet I'm still loving.. they all jumped and didn't wake up while I'm breathing and going to college to become a therapist and-"

"Hey. No, don't say shit like that." Catra spoke sharply, Adora looked back at the screen at the sound of a door shutting, she didn't even notice catra leave her dorm, but now she was also outside, "You didn't know what those people were going through. You don't know what drove them to that point. And yeah, you're alive, but you have to keep living because I bet all those people regret it. You are alive and you aren't the only one who survived. Think about how much you've grown."

"Catra-"

"No adora, you need to hear this alright. You are the most beautiful, kind, and hard working person I've ever met. God if you aren't  handsome.  You can be Oblivious or clumsy and we joke and laugh about that but Adora you are so smart it's amazing! You're more than that dumb sports scholarship. You're going to become something great. You're gonna help so many people who were in our situation. You're gonna help."

Adora felt tears well in their eyes and choke back a sob, the call had ended but before they could panic, they felt familiar arms wrap around their waist and hug them  and a tail wrap around their wrist tightly and securely, Adora strangled to keep her sobs from spilling out,

"Shhh, you're okay now, it's okay. I know what i said was a lot but, You can hurt. I know it's hard. I know it, god do I know it." Whispered the voice of Catra as she slowly pulled Adora off from the bridge ledge, Adora helped until she was safely off the ledge before collapsing all her weight into Catra who sank them both slowly to the cold concrete sidewalk, Catra holding Adora tightly, running a hand through their hair,

"Why...why did you save me that day? After everything you said why..?"

"Because I care for you Adora. Did I ever tell you why I was there that day…?"

Adora shook her head as she tried to get a hold of her crying,

Catra rocked them back and forth,

"I had just bought me a bag of cocaine. I was on my way back to a shack I was living in because I had run away from my moms after they tried to help with my addiction. I saw you standing there and I didn't even know if it was you or not. As soon as I got close enough to see that it was, you had already fallen…...I panicked and I wasn't thinking and just dove off after you. I pulled you out and I says...I says, 'Adora, please you have to wake up!' "

A 18 year old Catra sobbed as she held an unconscious, soaked, and bleeding Adora against her chest trying to warm them both, as well as trying to stop the bleeding of the deeper gashes, she whispered out softly, "You can't give up. You have never given up on anything in your life. Not even on me."

"And you were barely conscious at this point, you had a big gash on your head from I guess hitting it on a rock or something...the water was low and rushing pretty fast so maybe that's why we were cut up so bad…..anyways I said 'So don't you dare start now!' And you whispered back…."

Adora looked up with glossy and hazed eyes, "Catra…?"

Catra choked back a sob as she gave Adora a wet smile," Hey Adora."

Adora looked away, her movements were sluggish as she did so, "it's too late…"

Catra felt her heart rate pick up with panic," No, No, No! I've got you. I'm not letting go. Just hold on a little longer, come on 'Dora, come on. For me…..please...I'm sorry for everything."

"That when someone saw us and called an ambulance and….yeah…" Catra whispered, now noticing how Adora seemed to have fallen asleep, she gave a worried frown as she lifted up the blond to the best of her ability,

"Come on, let's get you home.." she muttered as she stumbled her way to Adora's truck that the dummy left running.

Catra opened the door quietly before walking across the room and sat in the chair that was beside the hospital bed, Catra looked at the woman before her with a frown, she was still asleep...it's been days and she hasn't woken up yet. Catra was feeling anxious, was this how Adora felt when she was in the hospital?

Catra gently held Adora's hand before whispering softly,"Come on Adora...wake up….it's been days...you have to wake up now…..you can't leave me..I can't live without you….the past 2 years have been hell without you….please I'll do anything, I'll give up the drugs, I'll disappear forever, I'd switch places with you, because Don't you get it? I love you. I always have. So please, just this once. Stay!" She spoke louder than she meant  wincing at the desperation in her voice. 

She leaned up and gently brushed a kiss against Adora's cheek breathing out softly,

"Stay."

October 17th 2020, 11:30 AM

TheThemboLimbo: Oof. Imagine being told to bench my dyslexia. Couldn't be me.

MegaSimp: Yikes, Mr. Long?

TheThemboLimbo: Mr. Long.

ASpicyLesbian: What the fuck, what build is he at, I'll fuck him up.

TheThemboLimbo: Thanks, but I'd rather not have you in jail before we go back to the farm this weekend.

ASpicyLesbian: Hey, who said I'd be caught.

TheThemboLimbo: touche

MegaSimp: Anyways, Adora, you ready to DM our new campaign?

TheThemboLimbo: Fuck yeah I am! I have everything planned out, a whole book at that! Do you have your character's and back stories done?

E-girlsRuinLives: Of course we do.

ASpicyLesbian: oh...you were serious about this.

MegaSimp: of course we were! D: did you not make a character.

ASpicyLesbian: uh…..no? I mean nobody has explained how I do that…?

MegaSimp: Well you wanna hang out after classes and I can help you?

ASpicyLesbian: sure seen as I'm not getting out of this.

E-girlsRuinLives: I would like to join but I'm helping perfuma again with her campaign speech.

TheThemboLimbo: Oh! You're helping her too? Me and Scorpia are helping her hang stuff up. Wanna meet up at Panera before we head to the greenhouse?

E-girlsRuinLives: sounds gucci to me

TheThemboLimbo: ..isn't that a brand?

E-girlsRuinLives: yes but it's also slang for good.

TheThemboLimbo: ohhhh okay.

1:12 PM

TheThemboLimbo: guys, the mac and cheese at Panera is very gucci. You should all try it.

ASpicyLesbian: Never say gucci again

TheThemboLimbo: wha…):

E-girlsRuinLives: agreed

TheThemboLimbo: But! I was….bow?

MegaSimp: Sorry Adora….gucci is now in the list of slang you aren't allowed to use.

TheThemboLimbo: ): boo.

Chapter Text

Adora grabbed their duffel bag and waved goodbye to their roommate, Lonnie, who ignored them by turning her back to them to try and catch some form of sleep before shutting the door and locking it. Adora didn’t blame Lonnie, it was late and they knew she had to be up early for her morning classes and all Adora had been doing since they came back from their night class was make a ruckus while trying to make sure they had everything for the farm. Adora rode the elevator to the ground floor and walked out of the front door and grinned when they spotted a familiar feline a few feet away at their truck.

Catra ears flickered as Adora approached, her faintly glowing golden eye peeking out and looking towards Adora before closing again. She was leaning against the truck with her arms and legs crossed, her tail swaying lazily behind her, Adora also noticed that she was wearing their blue BMU Track & Field hoodie they lost a few weeks ago, which wasn’t out of the norm. Catra would always steal their clothes and then replace them when they lost their scent, the feline has been doing that since they were kids and it definitely did not make Adora feel any type of giddy every time she did. 

“How long have you been waiting?”

“Not long, came out 10 minutes ago.”

Adora doubted that but didn’t say anything on it. They threw their bag next to Catra’s in the bed of their truck before turning their attention back to the feline,

“You ready to get going, then?”

“Depends. Did you pack your meds?”

Adora winced inwardly, they did forget about them through the rush of making sure they hand everything packed but also they just...happen not to pack them on purpose.

“Did you pack yours?” Adora asked, trying to deflect.

Catra, however, opened her eyes and just rolled her eyes, flicking her tail against Adora’s arm,

“‘Course I did. Stop deflecting.”

Adora looked down at they're hands as they picked nervously at their fingers. Catra sighed and took ahold of Adora’s hands to prevent them from picking,

“Look at me ‘Dor.”

When Adora looked back at the feline, she had a soft look filled with concern and understanding,

“When was the last time you took your Meds?.”

Adora shifted and looked down at their hands, rubbing their thumb against the fur on the top of Catra’s hands as a distraction. When Adora showed no sign of answering, She moved a hand up to hold Adora’s cheeks,

“Adora, I know you don’t like taking your meds. Believe me, I don't like taking mine, but it’s given to help us. To help you with your Depression, anxiety, and ADHD.”

Adora leaned into Catra’s hand with a pout, “I know, I know, but it just...It all just makes me feel grey.” 

Catra frown deepened, this isn’t the first time they’ve had this conversation. After Adora’s attempt and talking about being friends again during their recovery, they had made a promise to each other to go see a professional and get help before they even thought about being friends again. They kept in contact via texting and calling each other, but kept at a distance until they both felt they were mentally well enough to actually try and become friends again. That doesn’t mean that there weren't any hardships in between. From Catra going through withdrawal and flashbacks to Adora spiraling to each of them having their share of anxiety and panic attacks, they both helped each other through it. 

Adora was the first to be prescribed any kind of medication, first for their ADHD and depression and later on their anxiety. It took Catra a few more months of rehab, AA meetings, and therapy before she felt comfortable enough to even go near the meds. She still gets shaking when taking them but has gotten significantly better. Adora struggled taking their medication and when Catra found out, she was, to put it gently, upset.

---Summer of Senior Year---

They were currently in an open field laying on a big fluffy blanket and quilt in the bed of Adora’s pick up trunk she got when she was 16. It was a warm night and only the first week of summer and the first late night talk they’ve had since the start of senior year. Adora was ecstatic to be this close to Catra again, Adora had lots of friends but none who let her cuddle like the two were, nor were any of them Catra. Adora at the moment though was lost in the thought of how she managed to regain nights like these after years of fighting the feline beside her.

Adora could see Catra’s hand waving in front of her but it took her a few seconds to pull her eyes away from the star she had locked her gaze on to look at Catra, blinking a bit. Catra’s eyebrows had furrowed, her left ear flickering and her tail was swaying back and forth anxiously,

“You good, Adora? You kind of did that thing where you just freeze and stare unblinking.”

Adora winced and gave a sheepish smile, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to zone like that. Um..have I responded to what you asked me?”

Catra shook her head slightly her eyebrows stayed furrowed with concern, she placed a hand on Adora’s hand she apparently was unconsciously cracking, which would explain Catra’s ear.

Adora quickly held her hands together tightly,

“Oh! Okay uh….well what uh...what did we leave off on?”

“We were talking about what we wanted to do this summer before we head to BMU and as soon as I started talking about taking a road trip to Salinas you spaced out.”

Adora nodded slowly as she tried to recall the conversation they were just having. It took her a bit before she brightened up, “Oh yeah! We can do that!”

Despite Adora’s best effort she could feel herself start to zone again, this time at the sudden feeling and thought of being uncomfortable in her current shirt, it was tight and showed too much of her chest for her liking which made her feel even worse for thinking like that. She should be proud of her chest but it just made her want to curl up and hide.

 She knew Catra was talking, she could hear it, but she couldn’t focus on the words. She tried to force herself to focus again and ignore her sudden discomfort but only managed to close her eyes and struggle to open them again. When she did, she was met with an even more concerned Catra. Adora felt herself shrink in on herself and mentally face palm. Shoot, she was doing it again. Before Catra could speak, Adora pulled her knees into herself and hid her face,

“I’m sorry, I'm sorry, I..I can’t help it...”

“Adora it’s okay-”

“No it’s not!” Adora lifted her head with her eyebrows pinched together and her eyes burning as she teared up, “I keep spacing out and...and I'm trying not to and…. I swear I'm trying, really! I am! but I keep doing it and now I'm ruining this and you're probably regretting reconsidering being my friend and...UGH!” she groaned, closing her eyes tightly and using her palms to push into her sockets to the point she saw swirls of colors and spots dance in her vision,

“I’m so stupid.”

“Woah, woah, hey, no. Adora, look at me.”

Adora shook her head and kept the pressure on her eyes. Not long after that, Adora felt soft hands gently wrap around her wrist and start to slowly pull her hands away from her face. Once her hands were moved, the soft hands that belonged to the feline beside her moved slowly away and up to cup Adora’s face turning her to face Catra once again,

“You aren’t ruining anything, Okay? I know you can’t help it, Dor. I’ve grown up with you, remember?” Catra rubbed her thumb against her cheeks as she kept talking,” I’m not upset that you're zoning out. I know how fast that brain of yours moves, and I know how hard you're trying. What I am though, is concerned. Aren’t your meds supposed to prevent you from zoning out so much? Are they not working?”

Adora felt herself curl into herself even more, she couldn’t look Catra in the eyes but she also couldn’t exactly avoid the eye contact. If Adora was a lycanthrope, her ears would be pinned to her head and her tail between her legs with guilt. Catra seemingly picked up on the guilt without a tail or ears to give Adora away because her face twisted into a scowl of disbelieve and hurt as she moved her hands away from Adora,

“Why am I shocked! You aren’t taking any of your medications are you?!” Catra scoffed accusingly

Adora began picking her fingers again feeling her lips frown deeply, that was all Catra needed to confirm her suspicions, her tail lashing angrily behind her,

“What the fuck, Adora!? We promised each other we wouldn’t become friends again if we weren’t doing okay and now you’re telling me after I put effort into getting better you aren’t doing the same?!” Catra hugged her arms, her face was angry but her eyes were swirling with betrayal, hurt, confusion, and insecurity, “Is this just some sort of sick joke to you?! What's the point of this meeting if  you aren't even doing anything to get better?!”

“No! No, of course not Cat! I have been doing stuff to be better, to get better!”

“Then why aren’t you taking your pills huh?!” Catra hissed out, “Clearly you don’t care! Come on you have to admit! It must be some sort of funny game to you! You saw this as your chance to get what you want, to prove you were right, right?!” Catra spoke, her own gaze glazing over as she spiraled,” This was a trick, isn’t it? A prank, a joke! What a sick sense of humor you have! What? did your sports buddies pay you to do this?! Huh!?” 

Adora’s eyes were wide in shock at the convictions being placed on her, she tried to process everything at once but words and thoughts were rushing around in panic, Catra was losing her patience, she had to say something, anything.

“This isn’t a joke! Cat, you gotta believe me!’

“I did believe you! I believed that you wanted to be friends again just as much as I wanted to! Now I see I shouldn’t have trusted you.”

Catra looked away from hers, her eyes still wide as she spiraled. Adora noticed the blood rushing down the felines arms, realizing her claws were digging into her arms, which sparked panic in her whole body, without thinking, Adora blurted out the truth,

“I’m scared!”

Catra blinked slowly before looking at Adora with confusion still in her head. Okay good, Catra heard her, if she hadn’t, she would have had to try and pry her hands away and risk being clawed across the face again like the last time Catra spiraled. So Adora, adjusted so she’s sitting facing Catra and finally opened up, like her therapist has been telling her to do for months now. Adora took a deep breath in before letting it out slowly,

“I’m….I’m scared...because once I take them, I’m admitting that I need the help. I'm admitting that something is wrong. That I have something wrong with me and my brain and that everyone will look at me and think, ‘There goes Adora! She’s so fucked up she has to take meds!’ And that's so fucked up to think” Adora whispered, "But every time I look at the bottles my stomach churns and I just can't, I tried to but I couldn't. Of course that doesn't excuse the fact i lied to you and for that I'm so sorry, Cat.”

Catra seemed to calm down enough to retract her claws from her arms, not even flinching as she did so, and gripped the hatch to the bed of the truck tightly with her bloody hands, her eyebrows knitted together. Adora took her silence as she still didn’t believe her and was getting ready to ramble, but before she could even start Catra took a deep breath and looked out across the empty field with narrowed eyes,

“Fuck that hag for making you think you have to be perfect.”

Adora blinked shocked at the hatred and spite laced in those words, and they weren’t directed at her. When she pieced together who exactly she was talking about, she winced and looked down, but didn’t speak, instead choosing to stay silent and fiddle her thumbs.

Catra continued on, “Adora. Why did you decide to go to therapy?”

Adora looked back up, Catra still wasn’t looking at her,

“Because I wanted us to be okay, to be friends again.”

Catra rolled her eyes and finally turned to look at Adora,

“Then you're doing this for the wrong reasons and-”

“What no I-”

“Let me finish, Dor.” Adora snapped her jaw shut giving a sheepish look in return,

“You aren’t doing this for the right reasons.” Catra rephrased as she shifted so her whole body was facing Adora's, “I didn’t go to therapy, AA meetings, and rehab for months all for you. Yeah, so I did start this fucked up journey of healing and rediscovery because of you, but the reason I’m doing it is for myself. So that I can be better, because I want to better myself, I wanted to stop.”

Catra shrugged her shoulders, “I’m not saying I don't want to be friends with you, I wouldn't be here or give you the time of day if that were the case. I’m just saying I’m doing this for me. Regaining our friendship is just a bonus. So let me ask you ‘Dora, What do you want?”

----------Present-----------

Adora remembers that talk a lot, it allowed them to finally open up more to their therapist about their childhood, about their insecurities, and most of all about their gender identity. Though Adora's relationship with Catra and their gender grew stronger and better, their relationship with medicine was still a struggle. Adora must have zoned out for a while because as they blinked, tears fell from their eyes drying up. Catra seemed to wait patiently just letting them zone out.

Adora wasn’t sure for how long but when their eyes focused back in on Catra, she smiled up at them, teeth and all,

“Welcome back. What were you zoning about?”

Adora smiled back, appreciating the way Catra has come to treating Adora when they zone out, unlike most people asking them what planet they were on,

“About the first night of summer when we met up again after months back in senior year.”

Catra chuckled softly, her eyes glinting with mischief,

“Oh you mean the night this hunk of junk wouldn’t start and we didn’t have any cell reception because you drove us out to the middle of nowhere?”

Adora felt a laugh rumble from their throat, ”Darla, is not a ‘hunk of junk’! She is a reliable and amazing truck and is doing her best.”

Catra hummed, smirking “Reliable my ass, she has broken down so many times I’m starting to lose count, Adora.”

Adora just huffed and playfully rolled their eyes as they looked down at the feline. Adora took in everything again for the hundredth time as if it were they’re first time studying her. Catra was the most gorgeous woman Adora has ever seen. Her face was littered with freckles that also graced her neck, her heterochromic eyes were like moons, glowing and grand, each glinting with mischief when she thought of a good comeback and dulling when listening to lectures she found pointless. Adora loved her smile, how her eyes crinkle up and glisten with joy, her fangs poking out, her squeak laugh brings waves of butterflies in their stomach. Adora loved everything about this woman. From her ups, her downs, her flaws, her perfections, Adora loved it all.

They always have and will, but Catra could and would never see them that way, after learning her type was people like glimmer, Adora didn’t stand a chance. Adora sighed and looked away from Catra and back up towards the dorm building,

“I was thinking about what we talked about.”

Catra hummed again, moving her hand away from Adora’s face,

“Ah…”

“Yeah...I was just thinking about how, well, we always have this conversation.” Adora looked back down at the feline who was watching them with curious eyes, “ About my medications and why I need em. I was also thinking about how tired I am of having it. I know in the end I have to take them.”

Catra nodded slowly, “I mean yeah you will, but Adora, you do know stuff like that you talk to your therapist about right? If the medicine is making you dual out so much that everything feels grey, then maybe your therapist can lower the dosage or something.” She grabbed Adora’s hand and squeezed it, “Promise me you’ll talk with them?”

Adora smiled and squeezed back,” Promise.”

Catra nodded firmly, squeezing they're hand once more before letting go, “Good. Now unlock the car and let me in and then go get your medicine bag. It’s already 2 in the morning and we have a 4 hour car trip ahead, if we want any type of sleep when we get there before Mara decides to make us do morning jobs, we have to go now.”

Adora grinned and quickly unlocked the door before saluting, “Yes ma’am!”

Needless to say, Lonnie wasn’t too happy to be woken up by her roommate.