Work Text:
"HOW!?" The demon screamed.
"I DON'T KNOW!"
The blond glared at me, "You...don't...know? How the fuck do you summon a demon on accident, you dimwit?"
"I don't know! You were supposed to be chicken soup!"
"What the fuck, man?!"
My name is Kaminari Denki, and I bet you are wondering how I got into this situation. Well, it all started with me trying to make chicken soup for dinner, and yeah, now there's a demon standing in my kitchen.
The blond stood stock still, silently seething. His face was contorted into a mixture of pain, disappointment, amusement, and anger. It ruined his face. His attractive features were lost beneath the mixed emotions.
"Soooo...are you gonna like grant me three wishes or something?"
The demon sank to the ground and buried his face in his hands, "That's a genie, not a demon, dumbass."
"O-oh yeah, I knew that. I...I was just testing you..."
The demon rolled over and collapsed face-first onto the floor. His curved horns made a terrible scraping noise, like nails on a chalkboard, as they gouged groves into my linoleum.
"Dude, you're messing up my floor."
He just groaned and continued to lie motionless on the floor.
"Welp, I am going to go back to my soup...Hmmm...maybe I can summon you a friend..."
I turned my stove back on and looked down at the goop that sat in my saucepan. I sighed. Even my broad pallet couldn't stomach this. I turned off the stove and started to rummage through my cabinets. I had to have something else here.
"Are you serious? What the everliving fuck is this shit?! You called this food?!"
I turned around and saw the demon had replaced me and was staring down the pot on the stove.
"No, actually, I don't. That's why I am going to make ramen in the microwave, like usual. Not sure why I even attempted to mix it up..."
The demon, I should ask his name, stared at me, incredulously, "Like usual..."
"Yeah, ramen's good."
"How are you still alive?!"
I shrugged and pulled out a bowl to put my ramen in, only to have it wrenched out of my hands.
"No way in Heaven."
"What?"
"No way in Heaven am I gonna let you eat this shit."
"Naw, man, why the hell did you say heaven?!" I laughed at him.
"I. Am. A. Demon. Dumbass."
"Oh."
"Go set the fucking table."
"Aren't ya like a little tame to be a demon man? Like, you haven't even tried to take my soul or some shit," I started to pull plates out of the cabinets as the blonde demon fucked around with my stove.
"I don't want the soul of a malnourished dumbass."
"Ouch. That kinda hurt a little. Not gonna lie."
"Just set the fucking table."
Ingredients started appearing out of no-where and landing on my counter. The demon pulled out a frying pan and set it on the stovetop. A cutting board was slammed onto the counter, and a knife whizzed past my head.
"Yo! Watch it, dude!"
All I got was a grunt in response as the blond spilled the contents of a package of chicken onto the cutting board.
~~~
I had never had a better meal in my entire life. Full stop. Nothing more to say on the subject.
He left as soon as he had finished it. Sunk through my goddamned floor back to whatever pit of gourmet cooking he had come from as if he had never even graced my kitchen with his demonic presence. He didn't even stay to eat what he had fixed.
I decided to try my best to forget about it. That lasted for a total of three days—time to try to make some lasagna.
Yeah. You can probably guess that it didn't turn out too well.
"Again! Seriously! What the fuck!!! How the fuck?!"
"Ah, hello to you too, Mr. Demon Man!"
The blond stared at me, incredulously.
"Are you fucking serious?"
I smirked as I held up the casserole filled with charcoal.
"I was doing a science experiment. I wanted to know how hard it would be to return ingredients to their carbonic states."
"How the fuck do you know shit about chemistry, but you can't even fucking cook?!"
I shrugged at him as I pulled out my phone to document my blackened noodles and sauce.
"This one goes to Mina right away! Gotta get my money. She shoulda known better than to say that her cooking was worse than mine!"
"YOU BET ON THIS? YOU FUCKING MORON!"
"Yeah, dude! It's like my greatest talent! Fucking things up spectacularly!"
The look of utter disbelief on the demon's face drove me into a fit of uncontrollable giggles. I collapsed onto the floor, holding my stomach, in a state of sheer glee.
"I can't fucking believe this..." he whispered.
I laughed harder and almost got clobbered in the head by a metal bowl that came barreling out of the cabinet next to where I fell.
~~~
"OH MY GOD! IT'S MY GODDAMNED DAY OFF; YOU UTTER IMBECILE!!!"
"What's for dinner, Demon Man?"
~~~
"You better not have put anything on that stove, dumbass."
"Woah..." I stood in the doorway of my kitchen with nothing but a towel wrapped around my waist.
"Put some goddamn clothes on and come back and set the fucking table, idiot."
"Yessir!" I saluted the demon who already had three pans on the stove and bolted up my stairs.
~~~
"I'm here, Sparky."
Shit.
I looked at the three other people in my living room with unadulterated fear on my face.
"H-hold on...I...I'll be back."
I vaulted over my couch and skidded into my kitchen, almost falling on my face in the process.
He was stood at the stove like he usually was when he appeared in my kitchen every night. There was a pile of grocery bags on the counter to the left of him and a frying pan in his hand.
"Shit. Shit. Shit. Dude!" My voice cracked and rose to a pitch that I hadn't achieved since middle school when I landed in the wrong place after attempting to do a split to impress the girls on the playground.
"What, dumbass?" He continued to pull things out of the bags as he was talking.
"My friends are here!" I whispered in a frantic high pitched squeal.
"So?"
"They're humans!" I was getting desperate at this point.
"Okay. And?"
"THEY DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU!" Yelling and trying to whisper at the same time is kind of hard.
"Bro, you all right in there?" I heard my friend, Kirishima, say.
"Uh, yeah, everything's fine, Kiri," my voice was still super high.
"Oh. Okay?"
I started pacing before stopping and looking at the demon who was still cooking.
"Can you like, uh, hide your demony-ness?"
I blinked, and he looked human minus his eyes still being red.
"OHKAYYYY....I'm going to introduce you to my friends..."
He shrugged and kept cooking.
I walked back out into my living room, fidgeting with my hands.
"Uh, guys, there's someone I want y'all to meet..."
I gestured for them to follow me and walked back into the kitchen.
He was still cooking and barely spared a glance for the three people who walked in with me.
"Names Bakugo," he went right back to the pans on the stove.
My friends looked at me, confused.
"These are my friends, Kirishima Eijiro, Mina Ashido, and Sero Hanta."
He grunted, not sparing them another glance, turned to the cutting board, and added another three bell peppers to the one he had already cut up.
"Sparky put three more plates on the table."
I looked at him and glanced at the setting on the table. He had actually set it. He never did that. I pulled out three more settings and jumped when Kirishima grabbed my shoulder.
"Hey, man, who is this guy?" he whispered.
"A-a friend of mine..."
Kirishima looked a little skeptical, but he shrugged it off and let me go.
"Alright, dumbass, I'm done. See you tomorrow."
I watched as he turned off the stove and, instead of melting through my floor like usual, walked out my back door. My friends looked at me with questions written all over their faces.
"Just sit down. I'll tell you everything."
I got the food off the stove and brought it to the table. My friends sat down and looked at me, expectantly.
"Eat first."
Like always, his food was delicious, but I didn't really want to eat.
"Dude! What the hell? This is heavenly!"
"Don't let him hear you say that," I mumbled under my breath.
"What?"
"Nothing," I responded, petulantly.
~~~
The three of them pulled me into the living room and pushed me down onto my couch.
"Spill." Mina was in her mom pose. Shit.
"Well...Basically, he saw that one time I tried to make chicken noodle soup. And then the time I sent you that picture of the casserole. I made the mistake of telling him that I ate a lot of ramen. He's been making me dinner ever since."
"Shit..." Kirishima whistled appreciatively, "Dude, I'm so jealous!"
~~~
Bakugo was in my kitchen when I came home the next evening. He wasn't cooking, though. I was confused.
"Hey, man, everything okay?"
"Sparky."
"Y-yeah?"
He looked at me for a second without saying anything. I started to feel the nerves and fidgeted with the hem of my shirt.
"Did everything end up okay last night? Not that I care or anything!" He rushed out at the end.
I faltered at the look of concern that vanished as soon as it came.
"I-I...yeah. I told them a modified version of the shit that went down."
He breathed out sharply like he had been holding his breath. He turned abruptly and put a pot on the stove.
~~~
A few months had passed since what I started referring to as the 'incident' happened. Bakugo still came every day. As time went on, though, he started to talk more when he was there. We had a whole conversation about whether tomatoes' status as fruit made ketchup a smoothie or not. He was really pissed after that one and purposefully added too much chili powder into the curry he was making.
I have to say that I was totally spoiled when it came to food at that point. His cooking was downright sinful.
"Bakubro, why don't you ever stay and eat with me?"
He didn't say anything for a minute or so.
"I don't want to get attached," I heard him whisper.
I felt heat spread up my neck and across my cheeks. Did he really just say that? Or was it just wishful thinking?
"No reason," he said, louder.
I couldn't help but look at him in wonder.
~~~
Every day it became harder for me to deny what the heat was that became everpresent when Bakugo was around. My stomach turned into a whole fucking lepidopterarium* in his presence.
God. I had a massive crush on a fucking demon.
If Bakugo noticed any change in my behavior, he didn't say anything, for which I was eternally grateful.
~~~
The day that he actually stayed to eat the food he made was the day that I knew I was done for. I was hopelessly, irreversibly, thoroughly, in love with him.
That day wasn't any different than the countless ones before it. That is until I came home to the smell of garlic and the sight of two plates on the table and not just the usual one.
He had made pasta carbonara and garlic knots. And he had brought a bottle of chardonnay.
I gaped at him.
"Go change and wash your hands, Sparky."
I backed out of the kitchen and practically floated up the stairs. He was staying! Finally! He was actually staying!
I stripped out of my work clothes and pulled out a pair of grey joggers and a Pikachu shirt. I changed at warp speed and hurtled down the stairs.
"YOU'RE STAYING!"
He instantly looked like he was regretting his decisions.
A sigh, "Yeah..."
~~~
It probably took another month until he stayed for longer than just the time it took to wolf down his food.
I sat across from him at my kitchen table with a pout on my face.
"WHAT? What do you want, Dunceface?"
My pout deepened, and he sighed.
"Are you fucking kidding me?"
"No! You never stay! Just this once! PLEASE!!!"
Another sigh and a defeated look, "Fine."
"YES!!!"
~~~
The next morning, I woke up on the couch, where I had fallen asleep during the tenth episode of Lucifer.
The smell of sausages drifted into the room, and I stood up. A blanket fell off my legs.
"Oh, good. You're awake. Set the table."
I looked up from the blanket to see a slightly disheveled demon in the door to my kitchen. His grey button-up was wrinkled, and his feet were bare. I had never seen him look so casual before.
I rushed to set the table as I noticed the stack of pancakes on a plate next to the stove.
~~~
"That show was terrible."
"WHAT?"
"You heard me."
"WHY?"
"For one thing, Lucifer would never leave his realm. For another, I have never seen the man take so much as one sip of alcohol. In my entire existence. Never. Not once."
"...Really?"
"Yeah. He's super uptight. He could really use a vacation."
I couldn't help but laugh. The king of hell was uptight...never would have guessed.
~~~
The next time Bakugo stayed overnight, my friends showed up around nine in the evening. Bakugo and I were on my couch with a bowl of popcorn between us when their insistent knocking started.
"KAMI! You said you'd come with us!!!!"
"Shit."
I jumped up and rushed to the door.
Mina, Sero, and Kirishima poured into my living room and stopped short when they saw Bakugo on the couch. Thankfully he had thought to hide his horns before they had come in.
"Ohhhh...I see how it is!" Mina shouted, "You're keeping tall, dark, and handsome to yourself!"
I blushed heavily and looked over at Bakugo, mortified.
Kirishima waved at Bakugo, "'Sup man! Been a while!"
Bakugo nodded at him, "Shitty Hair."
Kirishima's mouth dropped, "What!" He squeaked.
Bakugo just shrugged.
"Sparky, I better go. Since you clearly already had plans with Shitty Hair, Racoon Eyes, and Soy Sauce."
I looked at him, absolutely astonished.
"Are you fucking serious?"
A devilish smirk blossomed across his face as he stood up from the couch. He turned on his heel and disappeared out of my back door.
"What the fuck was that all about!?" Kirishima yelled.
"I have no idea..."
~~~
After the shock of Bakugo had worn off, the four of us decided that we were going to go to a club. I can't say that I really remember much of what happened because I decided that drinking away my embarrassment was a good idea.
The headache that came the next morning was pure torture. I felt like a herd of wild stallions had decided to run races through my skull all night. I quickly noticed the glass of water and pills on my nightstand. Mina must have left them when she dropped me off.
I walked out of my room with the empty glass in hand and noticed the lamp in my living room was on.
Bakugo was draped over my couch, with a grace I have never seen in a living being before, fast asleep.
He looked so beautiful in the dim lighting, and I could do nothing but stare at him. I stood motionless at the bottom of the stairs and just stared at him. The glass, forgotten, nearly slipped from my hand before I snapped myself out of my tunnel vision. I tore my gaze away from the demon on my couch and went to the kitchen to put away the glass.
When I turned around, he was standing in the doorway.
"How are you feeling?"
I looked up at him. He must be at least half a foot taller than me. Honestly. Who gave him the right.
"I...I'm fine..."
"Okay, good."
He turned around and collapsed back onto the couch. I just stared at him until he grumbled that I should go back to bed.
~~~
The next time my friends came over, they forced him to stay. Kirishima said that no one was allowed to insult his hair and get away with it like that. They pulled both of us out the front door and into the back of Sero's car.
"We are going to a club!" Mina shouted.
Bakugo glanced over at me before sighing and leaning back into the seat.
We pulled into the crowded parking lot fifteen minutes later and piled out of the car. The pulsating bass could be felt a hundred feet away from the door.
Bakugo sighed as he walked behind me towards the door.
"You didn't have to come, Bakubro."
"I can't have you ending up like last time."
I glanced at him briefly and shrugged before following Mina into the club.
~~~
The music was loud, and there were way too many people in the building. It was hot, and the air reeked of alcohol and sweat. I didn't care. Mina decided that shots were the way to go that night and ordered round after round. Sero sighed as he watched us all. I bet he really regretted the choice to be DD right now.
After way too many rounds, I could really feel the giddiness start to kick in and decided that it would be a good idea to pull Bakugo out onto the dancefloor. He barely protested and instantly grabbed onto my hips when we found a spot in the crowd. And damn if this boy couldn't dance. He moved us perfectly with the music and never missed a step. I held onto his shoulders and found myself lost in his eyes. The brilliant red seemed to pull me in like it was a black hole. I couldn't turn away.
He stared right back at me, and I swear he read every inch of my soul. I was jerked into his chest, and he pushed his head into my neck. All I could smell now was caramel and something spicy I couldn't quite place. Something distinctly Baukgo. God, I loved him so much. Fuck.
He moved slightly as the song ended and kissed my neck before pulling away and walking back to our table. I didn't move for a second. I just stared after him, and hope blossomed in my chest.
~~~
Sero dropped us off at my house, and we walked up the front steps.
"Do-do you want to stay?"
He let out a breath, "Heaven, yes."