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"Buck?"
Eddie gasped out a breath and struggled to sit up. He waited, heart in his throat, for a response. When there was none, Eddie called out Buck's name again, this time louder. "Buck!"
There was a cough, and then, "Yeah?"
Eddie let out a relieved breath. "You okay?" He grunted as he tried to push away a heavy piece of debris off his legs.
"I- I'm fine."
That was obviously a lie. "Buck, I need you to tell me how you're doing."
"I'm- I'm not-
Eddie made his way to his feet. "Buck, are you hurt?"
"I-" he hesitated, then, quietly, "My head hurts. I can't- I can't move."
Eddie's heart sank and he tried his best to stay calm. "I'm coming to you, alright?"
"Yeah."
Buck sounded odd, almost like he wasn't all there. His heart beating a harsh rhythm against his chest, Eddie scrambled to find purchase, and ignored the pain in his legs and back. He looked around frantically to find his gear, or at the very least, his flashlight, but couldn't.
A quiet rumpling was all the warning he got before another part of the wall collapsed. He barely managed to get out of the way before a piece of concrete fell right where he had been seconds ago.
"Eddie?" For the first time since this happened, Buck sounded scared.
"Eddie?" Buck sounded breathless. "Eddie?!"
"I'm here, I'm alright," he hastened to assure him. "I'm coming to you, alright, Buck?"
"Are you okay? I can't- I can't get to you, are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Eddie shook his head. Buck was most likely in shock, and obviously hurt, yet he sounded more worried about Eddie than he was about himself.
"Buck, do you have your flashlight on you?" He cursed himself for not remembering to ask earlier. "Buck?" He only got a grunt in response. Heart pounding, he looked around wildly, thankful to note that his eyes had adjusted to the darkness. Just as he was about to lose his mind, he spotted movement a few feet ahead, followed by a pained gasp. "Buck!"
Eddie ran the remaining distance and dropped to his knees by Buck's shoulders. Panic nearly consumed him as he took in Buck's condition. There was a large piece of concrete on top of Buck, a pool of blood under his head and his eyes were only opened in slits. He looked- he looked like he was already dead. Eddie shook off the terrifying thought and did his best to detach and treat this as he did every other emergency.
It wasn't easy, but right now, he was Buck's only chance to survive. His comms crackled to life in that moment and a relief so intense spread through him.
"Eddie? Eddie, do you copy?"
"Yeah, cap, I'm here."
He started systematically checking Buck and managed to keep it together only by sheer force of will.
"I can't reach Buck, are you two okay?"
"I've got him here, cap." His captain didn't notice the careful evasion, but he would soon, Edie was sure. He didn't know why he didn't say it right away; maybe it was to not worry the cap. Or maybe, a part of him whispered, it was because if he didn't say it out loud, then he could pretend it wasn't happening.
His hands, which were carefully inspecting Buck's torso, froze as they came in contact with a piece of metal.
His heart stopped.
"That's good," Bobby said with obvious relief, oblivious to the sheer terror coursing through Eddie's veins. "Listen, Eddie, we're trying to get to you as fast as we can, but the building is unstable. We're gonna need some time."
He cursed. Loudly. Then tried to take a deep breath and keep from screaming. "How much time?"
"Twenty minutes, thirty at the most."
"Buck might not have that much time, cap." Weirdly enough, Eddie sounded strangely calm, almost robotic.
"What do you mean?"
Could this be a bad dream? It wasn't new to Eddie. Nightmares were practically old friends of his. The army had given plenty of material, and being a father, a single father, had contributed its fair share of worries. Working as a firefighter, joining this group of people who had managed to become his family, and facing dangers every day had, to say the least, only made things worse.
So, yes, this could be a bad dream. Any second now-
"Eddie!"
-Christopher will barge into his room and demand breakfast.
"Eddie, goddamn it, answer me!"
Or maybe he'll wake up to Buck's gentle teasing after having dosed off at the station.
"Eddie!"
"Eddie," a hand, cold but familiar, touched his, and he came crashing back. "Buck?" He whispered, hardly believing it.
"Answer," Buck told him, voice hoarse and low.
"Eddie-"
"I'm here, cap."
"Oh, hell, Eddie, I thought- talk to me. How's Buck doing?"
"I can't see well down here, cap," his voice broke on that last word, and he didn't have it in him to be ashamed. "I lost my helmet and- I can't-"
"Eddie, Breathe," the captain told him, voice quiet but shaking. "What about Buck's flashlight?"
"Buck, your flashlight, do you have it on you?"
It took him several seconds, but then Eddie felt him nod against his hands. "Helmet," he told him hoarsely.
Eddie got on his hands and knees and started frantically looking around. He found the helmet less than a foot away from Buck's head and nearly whooped in delight when the flashlight worked. Dusty as this basement was, the flashlight didn't seem to make much of a difference, but when he put the helmet on and turned it onto Buck, he could see him clearly.
He was shivering, that was the first thing Eddie noticed, then he saw the fear and the pain and he almost- almost- wanted the darkness back. But Eddie could finally exhale. "Hey, you," Eddie kept one hand on Buck's face, stroking his cheek, and then got back to Bobby, examining his best friend's body as he spoke.
"It's- he's not doing okay, cap. He's got a pretty nasty head wound, still bleeding. And he's pinned down, so there's probably some internal damage. There's a piece of rebar-"
Buck sucked in a large breath, and coughed. This was immediately followed by an agonized, strangled scream that chilled Eddie to the bone. "Buck? Hey, stay with me!" His hands clumsily stroked Buck's face, his thumbs stroked the skin underneath his eyes, and he was heartbroken when they were met with wetness. "You're gonna be okay, alright? I'm gonna get you out of here," he promised fiercely.
"Eddie, what happened?"
"Cap, you're gonna need to do a lot better than twenty minutes."
"I'm trying," his captain sounded desperate, and his voice was thick. Eddie wanted to comfort him, but he didn't know how when he himself was scared beyond measure.
"Eddie, twenty minutes is the best we can do. Try to- just, stay alive, keep him alive, for that long. Please."
What if I can't do that? He wanted to scream, and what if I have to watch him die?
He didn't though. "Copy," he said shortly, then turned his full attention to Buck.
"It's okay, you know," Buck told him quietly, his lips quirked in a small smile.
There was an unmistakable rumble and Eddie knew they were running out of time.
"Eddie, you have to go, you have to leave me," Buck told him gently, confirming Eddie's fears.
"Are you out of your mind? The hell I will." He ignored the other man's weak protests and asked the cap to speak to Hen.
"Yeah, Eddie?"
"Hen, I'm gonna need to move him, find better cover. We're sitting ducks like this." As if on cue, there was a small collapse in the roof and dust rained down on them. "What do you think?" Even to his own ears, he sounded scared. A cold hand gripped his in a gentle hold and he looked down to see Buck looking at him through half-lidded eyes and a gentle, pained smile.
"Please, Eddie."
He ignored him. "Hen, I'm gonna need your help. I don't want-"
"I get it," she interrupted him gently. "Now, I want you to tell me exactly where that rebar is and..."
Eddie worked fast, and he was silent for the most part. It had only been a minute or two, but it felt like hours had passed with little to no progress.
Eddie was afraid, and more than a little pissed off. Because the self-sacrificing idiot was actually trying to convince him to leave him and save himself. He largely ignored him and set about trying to move the heavy piece of concrete pinning him down. He had very little equipment that could help him with this, and he was thankful that he at least had a medical bag on him.
"Eddie-"
"Shut up, Buck!" He snapped, panting from his futile efforts. "I am not leaving you here."
"You have to," he pleaded with him. "Think about Christopher, please. The kid can't lose you."
"He can't lose you either," he argued. He couldn't believe Buck was actually trying to guilt him into leaving him behind; as if anything could actually accomplish that.
He crouched down and pushed the solid piece of cement pinning down Buck with all of his strength. It barely budged, but going by the scream it elicited out of Buck, it had done some damage.
"I'm sorry," he uttered, heart in his throat. "I'm sorry, Buck, but I have to do this."
Buck lay there, panting, and gave no indication that he'd heard Eddie.
"Buck?" He peered down at him and found a pair of dazed, bright eyes already looking at him. "I'm gonna move this thing off you, and it's gonna hurt like hell, but I'm gonna need you to move out from under it, okay?"
Buck shook his head. "I can't," he hissed.
"You have to, please, Buck. We have to get out of here."
Buck nodded hesitantly and Eddie wasted no time. He got into position and started lifting. The second he did, Buck started screaming. He nearly stopped, but then remembered why he had to do this and pushed on.
"Eddie," Buck sobbed. "Stop. Just stop, please."
"We're so close, Buck, we're close, I promise. I just need you to move with it as much as you can, alright? I want to keep that wound as small as possible, okay?"
Buck let out a shuddering breath and then a quiet, defeated "okay" that broke Eddie's heart.
"Alright, here we go. 1, 2, 3, now!"
Eddie clenched his jaw and renewed his efforts and was rewarded when, finally, he managed to move the concrete off Buck. Buck cried out one final time as the rebar was wrenched out of him. Eddie immediately dragged Buck to the safest place he could find in this room- under a sturdy dining table that had been pushed into the far corner of the basement. He deposited him there with a quick reassurance that he would be back in seconds and went to get his equipment.
He hefted the medical kit and got a hold of his captain. "It's done, cap," he told him shakily, fighting back tears. "How long do you need?"
"That's good, Eddie. That's-" Bobby broke off and Eddie knew right then that something was wrong.
He kneeled beside Buck and opened the med kit, taking out a couple of pieces of gauze and applying pressure. He added a couple more and then put an adhesive wrap around it. Buck let out a chocked gasp and Eddie found himself apologizing again.
Eddie cleared his throat. "Bobby, what's the hold up?"
"We're trying to find a way in, Eddie. It's not looking good," Bobby told him in a hushed whisper, sorrow evident in his voice.
A strange sense of calm washed over him. "Okay."
He put the radio down and scooted under the table, then he gently moved Buck closer until he was cradled in Eddie's arms, and kept an eye out on the gauze; willing it to stay white, though knew it wouldn't take long for it to soak through. One hand went to Buck's hair, then down to his wet cheeks and back again, and one under his back, keeping him close.
Eddie leaned down and kissed his sweaty forehead. "I'm sorry, Buck."
"'ddie?" Buck slurred.
"I'm here," he whispered, tightening his grip on him.
He nuzzled his face into Eddie's chest and closed his eyes fully. "'S good."
Though he wanted to pull him impossibly close, he pushed him away gently and shook him. "Hey, you gotta stay awake, alright? Buck?!"
"Huh?" He opened his eyes sluggishly when Eddie tapped his cheek, hard. "Eddie?"
"Hey," he smiled. "Hey, keep those eyes open for me, alright?"
Buck nodded. Then he seemed to squint up at Eddie and after a long moment, he spoke. "You're hurt."
Eddie laughed wetly. "Just a scratch. I'm more worried about you."
Buck smiled. "I'm fine."
"No, you're not." Eddie felt tears leak from his eyes when he saw his teeth were stained red. "But you will be. We're getting out of here."
He hoped that wasn't a lie.
"Don't do that," he told him softly, and tried to lift his hand up. Eddie's eyes slammed shut at that soft clumsy touch and he felt a sob build up in his chest.
There was a crash, followed by another cloud of dust, but Eddie paid it no mind; just kept his eyes on Buck's.
"We're not gonna make it, are we?"
"The hell we're not," he nearly snarled. "I've never given up on anything in my entire life. Not about to start now. And I'm not letting you give up either."
Buck shook his head. "I'm not- I have to tell you something, Eddie."
Eddie shook his head and held him through a coughing fit that ended with a smattering of blood on his lips. "Tell me after we get out of this place, okay?"
"You have to know," he whispered.
"Buck-"
"Please-"
"No. You are not going to do the stupid last words thing, do you hear me? You're not saying goodbye," he snapped. "I am going home to my son, both of us are going to make it out of here, for him, do you understand me? You're going to-"
"I love you," Buck interrupted him, voice soft and shaky. A small, peaceful smile stretched his lips and Eddie- he didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say.
This wasn't something he'd expected.
The thing was, Eddie had known for a good while that his feelings for Buck were beyond those of strong friendship. He'd acknowledged those feelings, accepted them, and locked them in a little box in a dark corner of his mind and threw away the key. He had even suspected Buck felt the same, but time went on, and Buck didn't do anything about it so Eddie had given up and contended himself with being a very close friend. When he was honest with himself, which he almost never was, he was relieved. A relationship between the two of them would only complicate things, no matter how strong their feelings were, and being with Buck meant Christopher getting even more attached. Their jobs were dangerous, and any minute, one of them could get hurt, or worse.
Case in point.
"I wan'ed t-to tell you, bef-" he struggled to get the words out and Eddie shushed him, settling him down onto his thighs and then using both hands to frame his face.
"You shouldn't talk, okay?"
There was a sad sort of resignation on his face, and Eddie knew that Buck took his words to mean he didn't feel the same way. Eddie loved him, without restrictions, without hesitation, but he didn't want to tell him now, in a ruin and while he was, quite possibly, dying. He deserved better.
Buck coughed again, and he let out a strangled breath. His eyes rolled back into his head and his body started jerking. Eddie gently but swiftly put him on the ground and tried to keep him from banging against something. He ignored the tears running down his cheeks and watched helplessly as his body jerked violently.
"Eddie! Eddie, we found a way. We're coming for you, can you hear me?"
His eyes slammed shut in relief and a sob tore out of him. "Cap? Hurry up, please."
"We're coming, Eddie."
Then Eddie was back to watching Buck's seizing body. When it twitched for the last time, then stilled, he was onto him in a second. He checked his pulse, his breathing and then finally pulled him into his arms and squeezed his eyes shut.
"Buck. Buck," he chanted in his ears, willing him to wake up. "You can't leave me. You can't leave us, please. There's so much I want-"
"Eddie," Buck rasped softly.
Eddie sobbed in relief. "I've got you. I've got you, sweetheart." He felt Buck's grin against his throat and only then realized what he'd said. His face heated up but he didn't care. "You're gonna be alright, Buck."
He kissed his forehead, and allowed his lips to linger there.
I love you.
I love you.
He didn't allow himself to say it out loud, not like this. But he vowed to tell him the minute they were out of here.
Eddie buried his face in Buck's hair and took a deep breath, letting the scent of him seep into his lungs.
"Eddie!"
"Buck! Eddie! Where are you?"
Eddie laughed, shocked and relieved, and jolsted the man in his arms only a little. "They're here! You hear that, Buck?"
"Hmm," was the only response he got, along with a small, dazed smile.
Buck didn't remember much of the time he'd spent in the basement with Eddie, except for one thing:
He'd told Eddie he loved him.
Buck wasn't ashamed to admit he was panicking, mainly because he didn't remember what Eddie's response had been.
Maybe the lack of response was one in and on itself.
Everyone except Eddie and Bobby had left a while ago after hugging him to death. Maddie had wanted to stay, but Buck hadn't let her, since she was now six months into her pregnancy and the chairs here weren't all that comfortable.
Bobby, who had dozed off in the chair next to Buck's bed, jerked awake. His eyes immediately snapped to Buck's and his shoulders instantly drooped, in relief or exhaustion, Buck wasn't sure. "Hey, kiddo," he greeted him softly.
"Hey, Bobby."
He scooted the chair closer and leaned in. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm alright."
"I'm glad."
Bobby reached out a hand and ran it through Buck's hair. There were tears in his eyes, and his throat bobbed. It seemed he wanted to say something, but nothing came out.
"Are you okay, Bobby?"
Bobby laughed softly, shaking his head, then got up. He leaned down and placed a fatherly kiss on the top of Buck's head, then ruffled his hair gently. "I'm really, really glad you're okay, kid."
Buck swallowed as tears gathered in his eyes, and smiled.
Bobby grabbed his jacket. "Eddie's in the cafeteria. I tried to convince him to go home and rest, but he wouldn't leave your side."
"Is he okay?"
"Physically, it's just some bumps and bruises. But- you really scared him, Buck. He was- it was a lot for him, to see you like that." Bobby hesitated before adding, "maybe it's time you guys talked."
"About what?" Buck asked nervously.
Bobby raised an eyebrow and Buck smiled sheepishly.
"Thanks, Bobby."
"Hey, you're awake," Eddie said softly as he entered the room. He took the seat Bobby had vacated a few minutes ago. "How are you?"
Though he was sick of the question, he couldn't help but smile at Eddie's obvious concern. "I'm okay. I don't know why they're keeping me here for another two days, I feel fine," he grumpled.
Eddie scoffed. "You had a concussion, which caused a seizure. You have two broken ribs, one of which punctured a lung. And you had a splenectomy. You feel fine because you're doped up practically all the time."
By the end of that rant, Buck noticed that Eddie was shaking like a leaf, and his breathing was way too fast. He extended his hand until it reached Eddie's and squeezed. "Eddie, I'm here."
"I almost lost you," he told him, his eyes locked onto their linked hands. "I- did you mean it?" He asked him, tone pleading.
Buck didn't pretend that he didn't understand what Eddie meant, though he entertained the thought for a second. He'd known, from the moment he'd fallen in love with Eddie that, if he ever wanted to have a relationship with Eddie, he would have to be the first one to make a move, and this; Eddie needing the confirmation even after he had said the words only confirmed it.
It also gave him a little bit of hope.
Eddie's face fell, and Buck only then realized that he was staring at him like an idiot. So he sucked in a deep breath and smiled. "I did."
Eddie's face went through a journey of emotions. First there was shock, then disbelief, then awe, until it finally settled on happiness. The smile on his face was like the sun, and he laughed. He got up and then put one hand on either side of Buck's shoulders. "I love you."
Those words were like a shot to the gut. He was suddenly breathless as he looked up into the warm eyes of the man he loved and wondered if this was a dream. Buck had been in love with him for a good amount of time, and he had given up on those feelings being mutual a long time ago.
"I love you so much, and I'm sorry- I'm sorry I didn't say it earlier, I'm sorry I didn't say it back and I'm so sorry if I clever let you believe that I didn't feel the same."
Buck smiled so widely his cheeks hurt. He lifted up one hand to the side of Eddie's neck and stroked the skin there. "It's okay, Eddie. I'm surprised you said it at all," he said teasingly.
Eddie, who had been slowly and steadily leaning in, leaned back and shot him a mock glare. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Well, I don't know how to tell you this, Eddie, but getting you to talk about your feelings is like pulling teeth most of the time."
"Aha, shut up," Eddie rolled his eyes, but he was smiling.
"Make me," Buck challenged, all traces of humor gone.
Their eyes locked, and suddenly there was a fire in Eddie's eyes. He licked his lips, drawing Buck's eyes to them and leaned back in at a painfully slow pace. Buck resisted the urge to drag him closer and let him come to him.
The first brush of their lips was an experimental peck, soft and barely there, but it sent his heart rate skyrocketing. Eddie made to move back, but Buck didn't let him. He just pulled him back into a deeper kiss. He hadn't noticed it the first time, but Eddie's lips were impossibly soft. One hand travelled from the bed and up to Buck's neck, and the touch made him moan into Eddie's mouth.
Buck had been kissed many times, but never had a kiss been this all-consuming, never had a kiss been intensely passionate yet impossibly tender at the same time. When they pulled back for air, Eddie didn't move far. "Say it again," he requested, tone just a bit shy of pleading.
And who was Buck to deny him anythin?
Resting both hands on either side of his face, Buck pulled him in until their lips were a hair away from touching. "I love you, Eddie Diaz," he murmured against his lips, and then they were kissing again. Eddie peppered kisses onto his lips, some gentle, some fierce and then moved onto his face, kissing the corners of his lips, then the apples of his cheeks and then, in a move that startled a laugh out of Buck, Eddie placed a kiss on his nose.
A nurse cleared her throat delicately and they sprang apart like they'd been electrocuted. There was an amused smile on her lips as she came in. "A dose of the good stuff," shs told Buck, twirling a syringe in her fingers. "Though by the looks of you, you might not need it."
Buck was sure he was red as a tomatoe by now, and when he chanced a look at Eddie, he saw that he wasn't faring any better. He cleared his throat. "Sorry about that," he told her sheepishly, waving a hand between him and Eddie.
She waved him off. "Been doing this job for nearly forty years now, kiddo. I've seen it all, believe you me."
She busied herself with checking the catheter, then injecting the medication into the saline bag. He caught Eddie's eyes, felt the urge to laugh at how two grown men like them had been caught making out, and immediately looked away before he did laugh.
Once she was finished, the nurse pinched his cheek and winked, and he went back to blushing. She closed the door behind her and they burt into laughter only a second later.
Eddie dragged the chair as close to the bed as it could go and grabbed Buck's hand, tangling their fingers together.
When their laughter died down, Eddie grinned, warm and happy. "I love you."
Buck lifter their linked hands and placed a kiss on the back of Eddie's.
"I love you, too."