Chapter Text
Eggsy Unwin lies on a large comfy sofa on the roof of St. Trinian’s school. He checks his watch and notices it’s almost twelve and shrugs. Being head boy has its perks you know, two free periods because he has ‘head boy duties’. He stretches and lifts his hand to his mouth to take another drag from his cigarette. He closes his eyes and burrows himself deeper into the sofa, sighing with contentment.
His calm morning gets rudely interrupted by the sound of a car coming up the drive. He grunted and sat up to look over the wall. A Rolls Royce pulled up outside the schools’ front door. Eggsy raises an eyebrow because; who drives a Rolls Royce around here?
An older man gets out of the car and looks around with a look of distaste written obviously on his face. The passenger door opens and a girl around Eggsy’s age steps out. A tall girl with blonde hair twisted into a neat plait going down her back.
Eggsy cocks his head to the side as he notices the uniform as it ‘should be’ worn. He laughs as he can't remember the last time he saw it that way. A grin broke across his lips as he popped a piece of apple bubble-gum into his mouth and got up off his sofa, putting his butt in the ashtray and made his way back into the school. He sauntered down the stairs, putting a plan in motion with each step he took, when he sees a small girl running down the hall,
“Oi, Shelly!” the first-year girl turns around and smiles back at him.
“Yes, Eggsy?”
“There's a new girl, spread the word.” the girl nods, her eyes widened with glee before running away.
Eggsy turns left and strolls down the hall blowing bubbles with his gum, he goes down the dark corridor that’s opposite the front door. He leans his shoulder against the wall and crosses one ankle over the other. By standing here he has the best spot in the house to watch the carnage unfold.
The new girl walks in with her bags and looks around, she doesn’t spot Eggsy leaning against the wall. She just stands there in the middle of the hallway with her bags, which is a terrible idea in Eggsy’s opinion.
The bell rings and the empty, quiet hallway is instantly transformed into what looks like another circle of hell. The new girl instantly gets crushed by a mob of running and screaming school children. She gets pushed around in the crowd, her bags pulled out of her hands and kicked around, but as soon as they were there the crowd is gone again. Her bags come tumbling down the stairs and land at her feet, now looking torn up and a little beyond repair. The girl had been jostled so much she is now facing Eggsy and looking right at him, but he does not move from his spot.
“Ya ol' man’s Roller looks like it’s seen better days.” He calls out to her.
A look of distain washes over her as she puts her nose in the air, “No. It’s a classic. Daddy’s an expert on the finer things. He has his own art gallery in Mayfair.”
Eggsy notices the message in her tone and tries his best not to snort. Trying to assert some kind of dominance won’t work here.
The girl sighs, “I’m Roxy. Miss Mortan's niece.”
Eggsy hums as he moves off the wall, sauntering towards her. Looking her up and down, smiling sarcastically he says, “I’ll 'ave someone come fetch ya bags.”
Roxy squares her shoulders to try and match his tall frame, “I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name.”
“Eggsy.”
“Eggy?” she questions, a smile tugging at her lips.
“Na. Eggsy. I’m head boy.”
Roxy scoffs in disbelief, “Really?”
He raises one eyebrow which is slightly blocked from his cap and points to the ‘Head Boy’ badge on his waistcoat. He stares blankly at her as he walks past her to saunter back up the stairs. “Welcome to St. Trinian’s.” He calls back to her, leaving Roxy to stare at his back.
Roxy felt a little bit in over her head. She just entered the girl’s dorm and hadn't moved an inch past the doorway. The dorm was just a long room with about seven different partitions and roughly five to six beds in each section. She stares wide eyed at all the girls in different variations of the school uniform, clearly all in different cliques.
“What are you boggin at?” one of the girls closest to Roxy shouts at her from her bed. The girl is wearing a lot of lipgloss, pink glittery eyeshadow and big hoop earrings.
“Um, do you know where my bed is?”
The girl gets up off her bed and points at Roxy, “You sayin I nicked your bed? Is that what you’re sayin? Cuz if that's what you’re sayin I'll give you a slap!”
Eggsy walks in to see Taylor up in Roxy’s face and came up behind Roxy and gently pushed her forward, “Oi. Knock it off, Taylor. Go paint your nails or somethin.”
"Ugh. Whatever." Taylor scoffed before going back to her magazines.
“The chavs are a bit touchy at the moment.” Eggsy told Roxy.
“Oi! You callin' me a chav?!”
Roxy went to turn back but Eggsy just grabbed her arm and kept walking. He turned and gave her a wink as they moved into the next section.
This lot all have hammocks set up, lots of plants and dream catchers. It looks like a small forest is growing there. Roxy looks at Eggsy for an answer, “If you're into inspirational quotes and love trees or bitching about greenhouse gases, talk to The Ecos.”
"They won't really bother you unless you throw somethin into the wrong bin." Eggsy chuckled as the two slowly moved forward.
"Why is it set up like this?" Roxy asked.
Eggsy looked around at the different girls in the different sections, "Well. This way everyone is with their own clique but at the same time we are all together."
There is a big space that is entirely covered up by a black curtain which Roxy stares at but Eggsy doesn’t address. He just keeps walking and points to three girls all in lingerie and faux fur night gowns. They're wearing make-up and heels, surrounded by white and furry pillows, satin bed sheets, sheer curtains and drinking champagne.
“Posh Totties, they run a chatline and 'ave all claimed to 'ave slept with a member of the Royal Family.” Roxy doesn't speak and just nods in reply.
The blonde curly haired one stood up, “Oh! Eggsy! We've just gotten those... things that you ordered, shall I leave them on your bed.” She winks at him and Eggsy laughs, “No thanks darlin'. I'll get it on my way back.” He kisses her cheek then pushes Roxy onwards.
Next Eggsy showd Roxy a group of girls surrounded by computers and up to their ears in paper and calculators.
“Need to do dealings on the market? Talk to the Geeks.”
“What about this lot? Are they asleep already?” Roxy asks him. They entered the darkest part of the dorm, blackout curtains hanging from each bed, piercings, dark make-up, black roses, black lace, chains and candles everywhere.
"Goths.” Roxy says with a slight disgust.
One of the girls sits up like a zombie coming back to life, “We're not Goths, we're Emos.”
They come back out of the dark and Roxy squints at the light, turning to Eggsy “What are Emos?”
Eggsy thinks about his response for a moment before coming out with, “Emotionally unstable.”
Roxy looks around curiously, “Where do you sleep then?”
Eggsy jerks is head back, “Back that way, behind that curtain.”
“You're allowed to sleep in a room with girls?”
Eggsy nods. “Yep. Long story but no one has a problem with it, if it makes ya uncomfortable I can move.” Roxy shakes her head, not wanting to be the new girl that upsets what seems to be the natural order of this place… even if it is anything but natural.
Lastly there are a bunch of screaming little girls, “First years.” Two identical girls spin around on a chair in sunglasses and petting stuffed cats. “Our very own answer to the Soprano’s.”
Eggsy then points to a plain bed just before the first-year section, “And this is you.” Roxy sets her bags on the ground and then looks over to the first-years exchanging money and placing bets on a black board, she turns to Eggsy, “What are they betting on?”
Eggsy smirks, “How long you'll last.”
As soon as Roxy sat down, a bucket of a strange green goo fell from the ceiling and covered her completely. She gasped as she shot up off her bed, only to be met with a big pillow hitting her on the head and a bunch of feathers coming out and sticking to her.
Eggsy couldn’t help exploding into laughter. “Showers are through the double doors on the right and around the corner.” Eggsy handed her a set of towels that Roxy has NO idea on how the hell he got them.
She grabs them with a huff and heads towards the showers as the whole dorm laughs at her.
Five minutes after she leaves, one of the Geeks speaks up, “Alright girls, we're live on YouTube.” Molly has a stream set up and everyone crowds around the screen to see Roxy on the cameras in the shower.
They watch as a couple of the younger girls grab her clothes and the towels out of the room. The girls then turn the hot water off and Roxy screams as she is pelted by cold water, her screech makes everyone giggle. Roxy gets out and tries to find the towels, but there are none. She kneels down and wipes the water from her eyes, all her stuff now missing.
Eggsy hums, “Now we'll see what she's made of.”
Next thing, Roxy is running through the school, naked, trying to get back to the dorms. All the girls and Eggsy are laughing uncontrollably. Roxy ends up slipping on water and flies through the corridor and crashes face first into the door.
Eggsy and the girls all groan, “Oooh, that's got to hurt.” Taylor says.
Later that night, Eggsy is out on the roof again. He takes a drag of his cigarette and slowly blows out the smoke. He looks up at the cloudy night, not able to see any stars. Eggsy likes the stars, he used to stay outside with his baby sister all the time and show her the stars too. He sighs sadly as he thinks about his sister. Wondering if she misses him, or even remembers him.
“Eggsy?” He sat up and put his cigarette away.
“Yes, darlin?”
“Merlin says he wants a word.” Eggsy sighed and stood up, raising his arms in a stretch.
“Ugh, coming now.”
He takes his time as he strolld his way through the empty school to the large garage on the other side of the grounds. This is the place where the girls sort their market dealings, create their products and pitch them to Merlin. Merlin is the Scottish I.T teacher, very gifted with computers and has a lot of experience dealing with the deep web and all that underground dealing. Nothing majorly dangerous, no organs or drugs, just some dodgy vodka and things like that. He also helped the Posh Totties set up their chatline.
He stands at the door frame unnoticed, “You wanted a word, Merlin?”
Merlin shoos away the Emos and their bag of… something… He sits up straight and waves him in, “Aye, lad, I was wonderin could ye 'ave a word with the Maths Department.”
Eggsy nodded, “What's the problem?” “Well, the lasses are keen to place a bet, but they're not as forthcoming when it comes to squarin it with the bookies, if you get my drift.”
Eggsy hums, “Teachers, keeping them in line is a full-time occupation.”
“Thank you, lad.” Eggsy begins to walk away, “Oh and Eggsy?”
Eggsy stops walking but doesn't say anything.
“I have those glasses we've been talking about.”
Eggsy spins around smiling, “You serious?! Brill bruv, lemme see 'em!” Merlin takes out a glasses box and gives them to Eggsy. He opens the box to find sleek black frames, he takes them out and puts them on. He looks at himself in the mirror, “Sick!”
“Blink 3 times, Eggsy.” Eggsy does and instantly gets the security cameras for the school and different menus for people to call, message and the option to start recording from the lenses. “These. Are. Amazin! Well done, bruv!”
Merlin sighs, “I've asked ye not to call me 'bruv' multiple times, lad.”
“When you don't call me 'lad' I'll not call you 'bruv' bruv.” he grins cheekily.
Eggsy takes off the glasses and puts them back into the box, “They're only the prototype but I'm almost there. I'll have them ready soon. I just need to fix the communication part and they'll be ready.”
Eggsy gives Merlin the box, “Job well done, mate.” Merlin groans and Eggsy saunters away laughing.
The Dept. of Education, London.
A man, in an impeccable black suit, white shirt, red tie, with a very posh English accent, walks into the meeting room, “Good morning everyone.”
Everyone in the room stands, “Good morning, Mr Hart.”
“Please, sit.”
He walks over to his table and pours himself a glass of water, “Now as you all know too well, our nation's schools have been blighted by the false kindess of namby-pamby, touchy-feely policies for far too long. Badly behaved children and teenagers don't need an arm around the shoulder, they need a good kick up the arse.”
Mr Hart's PA looks up from his note-pad, “May we say, ‘shot in the arm’, sir? For the tabloids?”
Mr Hart saunters to the big window looking over to Tower Bridge, “Well, say whatever you need to say, Peter. The important thing is not what we say but is what we do.”
He turns his back to the room, “This is why I intend to start with the worst schools in the country.”
An older man in the boardroom speaks up, “Bu- but that would mean St. Trinian's, sir.”
From hearing the name, a man sitting at the table begins shaking violently while trying to get a glass of water. Mr Hart looks to the woman beside him and points to him with his glass holding hand. “What's the matter with him?”
The girl turns, “5 years ago he went to... that place, undercover. He's suffered severe and recurrent trauma ever since.”
Mr Hart smirks, “Really? From a bunch of naughty schoolgirls?”
The younger man shakes his head, “You wouldn't know man, you weren't there.”
Mr Hart walks through the boardroom to face them all again, “When I overhauled the prison service, I began tackling the most fractious, lawless and feared institutions around. Once I dealt with those, the others simply fell into place. I plan to take the same approach with St. Trinian's.”
“Be afraid sir, be very afraid.”