Chapter Text
Wei Ying drops his head against Lan Zhan’s forehead and sighs, his breathe a warm gust in the cold wetness of the cave.
“Lan Zhan,” he says gently, sounding tired and fond and somehow – somehow – lonely, “must you go to such lengths for me?”
Lan Zhan can’t move, his body frozen. An army of Gusu elders wait outside the cave – an army of cultivators meant to kill one man. The man Lan Zhan loves most in the world.
And Lan Zhan can’t move.
Wei Ying had been out of his mind just a few minutes ago – telling Lan Zhan to leave him, to go away, and yet… suddenly, he had come back to his senses. Had looked up at Lan Zhan with clear eyes, had heard the screaming outside the cave, and had understood their situation quickly – too quickly.
Wei Ying had sighed, looking at Lan Zhan as if he wasn’t sure whether to cry or laugh and between one blink and the next Lan Zhan couldn’t move.
Wei Ying sat him down where he had been sat and combed his fingers through Lan Zhan’s hair, brushing the stray strands away from his face.
And still Lan Zhan can’t move.
Wei Ying sighs again, brushing his thumb against Lan Zhan’s cheek, looking at him as if trying to memorize him.
Move, Lan Zhan chants to himself, trying to will even his fingertips to move. Move!
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying whispers, “did you think I’d let you sacrifice yourself for me?”
Yes, Lan Zhan thinks desperately, anything – anything for you. Please. Please. Please.
Wei Ying cracks a small smile, as if he can hear what Lan Zhan is thinking. “Stupid, Lan Zhan” he whispers, pressing a soft kiss on Lan Zhan’s temple. “Why’d you fall in love with me? I’m no good.”
Let me go, Lan Zhan begs, his thoughts wild and desperate and – and – Wei Ying…
Let me go
Lan Zhan thinks if he could move, he would be sobbing.
“Shh,” Wei Ying hushes, wiping the tears that are falling from Lan Zhan’s frozen eyes. “I have to go now,” he says, giving Lan Zhan one last smile. “Don’t worry – I won’t kill any of your elders.”
Kill them, Lan Zhan begs, kill them all and come back to me. Come back to me.
“Thank you for being my soulmate in this life, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying whispers, his eyes warm and kind and – Lan Zhan will die if he cannot see those eyes again. Surely, he will die.
“This is my road to walk, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying says, standing up. His fingers run through Lan Zhan’s hair and they’re steady. “I must walk it alone. Live a long, happy life for me, Lan Zhan. I only wish that from you.”
With that he turns to leave the cave – starts to walk to his death.
His back is straight and his shoulders are broad and – and…
…and his Wei Ying is leaving him.
Stop, Lan Zhan begs, tears flowing ceaselessly. Stop.
“Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying calls back, just as he’s about to turn away from Lan Zhan’s line of sight. “I love you too. I’m sorry I told you too late!”
Come back, Lan Zhan screams silently, come back, come back, come back, come back.
He falls to his knees as soon as he can move, sounds he doesn’t recognize ripping from his throat.
He can move.
He knows what that means.
“Wei Ying,” he screams, feeling his heart shatter. The ground is unforgiving on his knees, his palms, his forehead – but the pain in his heart is unbearable. “Wei Ying.”
They have to sedate him to take him out of the cave – half-mad with heartbreak and sorrow.
“Wei Ying,” he sobs, his chest crumbling in on itself, “Wei Ying, Wei Ying, Wei Ying.”
He wakes up in his room, and his brother is next to him, watching him carefully.
His brother tells him that Wei Ying lost control of his fierce corpses – that they turned on their master and ripped him to shreds. Not a trace of his soul remains.
Lost control, Lan Zhan thinks bitterly.
All of the elders are alive.
They are all sympathetic to Lan Zhan, believing that Wei Ying somehow forced him into the cave, forced Lan Zhan to try and save him.
Lan Zhan doesn’t waste his breathe in trying to correct them.
They hear only what they want to hear, see only what they want to see.
You should have died, Lan Zhan thinks numbly. He should have killed all of you.
Even his uncle is in good spirits. Blind to the fact that Lan Zhan is dying by slow degrees. The shattered pieces of his heart are running around his body, killing him from the inside.
“Live a long, happy life,” Wei Ying had asked of him.
How cruel, Lan Zhan thinks, staring blankly at the ceiling. You’re too cruel, Wei Ying. You should have let me die with you.
Lan Zhan closes his eyes, tries to remember Wei Ying’s face – the way he smiled, the crinkle of his eyes, the warmth of his gaze. It’s already fading. It’s already not enough. Lan Zhan feels tears fall down his face and onto his pillow.
“I love you too,” Wei Ying had said.
I love you too.
“I love you too,” he sobs into his hands, “I love you too.”
So, come back.