Work Text:
“Of course he’s coming back to the bunker . . .” Dean says.
“Dean, I’m not coming back home,” Jack says. “In a way, I’m already there.”
“Where?”
“Everywhere.” Dean’s confused, but Sam gets it.
“So you are . . . Him,” Sam says for confirmation.
“I’m . . . me. But I know what you mean.” It was the only way to answer Sam. Jack understands that he’s not Chuck, but he has all the power, knowledge, foresight and, most importantly, insight, that Chuck had. Maybe more because he’s Jack, not Chuck. And he’s got room for a kind of compassion that Chuck lost somewhere along the way.
“What if we want to see you? Have a beer or . . . whatever?” Sam asks. Oh, Sam, Jack thinks. I’m going to miss you so much: father, brother, friend.
“I’m around. . . .”
He sees Dean’s face go hard. He knows that look: Dean’s getting ready for another loss.
How does he know that look? Right. He’s seeing it, noticing it, for the first time. It’s the new powers. He’s seeing so much more than he ever saw before.
“It’s a helluva time to bail,” Dean says, and Jack knows that this is how Dean deals with loss: he gets angry because if he’s angry, he won’t show the grief. “There are a lot of people counting on you. People with questions. They’re gonna need answers.”
Dean, thinks Jack, you’re not talking about “people.” You’re talking about you. I know the questions you want answered. You want to know if I restored Castiel from The Empty. Is he waiting for you at the bunker? Does he know how you love him? Does he know how and why you couldn’t tell him?
No, I didn’t restore him; he won’t be at the bunker. He made a deal and he made peace with it. His story was complete. He’s more at peace in The Empty than any being who ever went there. The Empty is sleeping a sleep it’s never known before because Castiel wasn’t tormented when The Empty absorbed him. The Empty had no idea what a gift Castiel would bring.
Yes, Castiel knows how you love him. He couldn’t have told you, he couldn’t have been truly happy telling you if he didn’t know you felt the same way. He saw it in you. He always saw it in you.
And yes, he knows why you couldn’t say it. Because he knows you aren’t ready to give yourself that happiness yet. His death may have been the lesson, the doorway for you to find it. For you to understand that you do deserve to be saved. To be loved. And maybe you can be now.
“And those answers will be in each of them,” Jack says, pointedly looking at Dean. “Maybe not today but . . . someday.” He explains a little more about how this will all work, his being God. How he'll be hands-off, to let people find their own way. And then he says, “I learned from you, and my mother, and Castiel that when people have to be their best, they can be.”
At the mention of Castiel, Jack watches Dean look down, purse his lips, try not to show the grief. It’s OK, Dean, he thinks. Feel what you feel. It’s OK. You’re safe here with us. With Sam and me.
You’ll always be safe with us. We know you. We know your heart. And Castiel does, too.