Chapter Text
There had been a lot of great things in Tony’s life in the recent months; but what always made him smile, was having someone waiting for him whenever he had to leave home. Because now, he really had a home and not just a very fancy penthouse. He had someone to think about when he made plans for the holidays or weekends. He had to order food for two, and he had someone to cook for. Peter had been living with him from the last four months and even when most of the time he felt insecure about what he was doing, he was happy and so was his son. He had a wonderful son and sometimes he couldn’t believe it.
The celebration for Peter’s birthday had been just a few weeks after the kid left the hospital. Tony thought that the best for the child was a discrete celebration, only with their closest people. Pepper, Happy and Rhodey were with them and when he was beginning to worry that the simplicity of the celebration would disappoint the boy, but then he placed the colorful cake with six small blue candles in front Peter and the gleam in his child’s eyes was enough to make him feel confident.
Peter shouted with emotion with each of the colorfully wrapped gifts he was given, and as soon as he discovered their contents, he would show them to his father with emotion before thanking the person who had given them to him. Peter fell in love with a fireman teddy bear that Pepper gave to him and from that moment it became his favorite toy. He couldn’t be more than a couple of hours without holding little Tony (he couldn't do anything to stop him from naming the bear after his dad) between his arms. Tony, the real one, just rolled his eyes when Rhodey and Happy laughed saying that they preferred the stuffed Tony. Pepper just told him that it was cute the kid had chosen that name.
His kid was six years old. It was weird to think that just a year before they hadn’t met each other. Just a year before his life was another very different, hollow and gloomy…lonely.
Of course, not everything had been a walk in the park. The first days it was impossible to convince the boy to be separated from his side even for a few minutes. After leaving the hospital the doctor's instructions were to stay in bed for at least another week and Tony was more than happy to spend that week completely devoted to his kid. After that, a couple of extra days as the child got used to the house and got a bit more settled in. But at a certain point things had to start to balance out, and while he was committed to dedicating himself full-time to his son, he also had business issues that demanded his attention and, most importantly, he didn't think that dependency was entirely healthy for Peter, so they both had weekly therapy sessions to help them adjust to their new life and after a few sessions, Peter was content staying alone with the nanny or Happy for a few hours, feeling confident that his dad would always come back to him.
The next thing was to work on the child's confidence. Peter still seemed to feel too shy and insecure and asked permission before doing the more trivial things, such as going to the bathroom or taking one of the books from his room, and was abnormally clean and tidy for a child of six, it was like he feared that if he made the slightest mistake or caused a nuisance Tony might regret having adopted him.
Then suddenly one morning he found a couple of books lying on the floor of the kid’s room. A couple of days later it was dirty clothes and toys under the bed, and he was happy when he had to ask him to clean his room a little.
He was not so happy the first time he was forced to ground his kid, even though he knew that was also part of the job.
It started like any other day. He let Peter have breakfast in his pajamas even when that was something he wasn’t allowed to do during the week. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays Peter had advanced science and math class and was always excited about them. However, Tuesday and Thursday, Tony had to drag him to his regular classes. Well, regular for a normal second grade kid. Howard had been more than happy to show off that his genius son skipped scholar years and graduated when he was still a child, and apparently that was the only source of pride his father ever had from him. He had never felt happy studying with kids much older than him, so he didn't want that for his son, but he was sure that regular classes would have been boring for him. That was something he still had to decide, meanwhile Peter had tutors and subjects just a grade above his age.
“You need a haircut. We should go tomorrow; what did you say? We can have an ice cream after that.”
“I don’t want to.” The kid said flatly.
“You don’t want ice cream, or you don’t want the haircut?” The little boy’s frown was touching, and his pouting made him smile.
“Haircut.” The kid played idly with the spoon and his cereal.
His hair was now long enough to curl around his ears and almost reach his eyes. Tony understood that after those kids cut his hair, he was particularly sensitive about that, so two weeks wouldn’t make a difference and he let it go.
“Okay, we can let that for later. Now just take a shower before your teacher arrives.”
“I don’t like the English class, dad; it’s boring.” He stated without looking at him.
“I know it is not as cool as science, but you need it anyway. So, hurry up!” He couldn’t blame his son, as much as he could remember, English was either his favorite subject.
“No. I want to read instead.” Peter stated.
“Sorry, buddy, but that is not negotiable. Now go to take a shower, get dressed and come back here before nine o'clock. If you need help washing your hair ask Jarvis to call me, okay?”
“No.” The kid replied before filling his mouth with cereal. “I don’t want to take a shower. I want to read.”
“Peter, go to your room now, take a shower and get ready for your class.” His tone was no longer friendly but stern though he didn’t yell.
That made the kid look up at him, he had never talked to him like that, so he finally got up and went to his room. His relief was short-lived, for minutes later, when the clock struck nine, Peter had not returned, and when he entered the kid’s room, he found him entertained with a book and without having bathed.
"Your teacher is waiting for you, Peter."
"I don't want that class, it’s boring."
He had no idea what to do in that situation. Despite all the books he had read, and the hours spent with the therapist his mind was completely blocked at the moment the boy, who until then had been a model of obedience, challenged him. The memories of his own childhood full of tyranny and screaming and the fear that his father always caused in him, contributed greatly to his mental paralysis. He didn't want his son to be afraid of him; he didn't want a relationship based on terror… but he understood that discipline was necessary.
"Okay, I'll tell him you'll take the class tomorrow instead of science, and you won't leave your room until then. Do you understand?"
Only once before he had seen the child angry, when Peter had refused to talk to him after the adoption attempt with the Grahams, and that was an experience he would have preferred to avoid.
"I don't love you anymore, Tony!" Peter said coldly to him before climbing on his bed, turning his back.
"That’s too bad because I still love you the same, however until you obey you are grounded."
He tried to mask the hurt in his eyes the best he could. Peter had never called him Tony since that day at the hospital. He knew it was just a tantrum, just as that ‘I don’t love you anymore’ but it hurt anyway. The most insignificant thing was enough to awaken his fears of not having what it takes to be a good father, and to damage his son's life in the same way that his father had done to him.
In the next hours he was tempted to go with the kid and let him get his way almost a dozen of times, but he stood firm and preferred to be distracted by his work.
By lunchtime he prepared the kid’s food and went to his room. Peter was sleeping on his bed but woke up as soon as he heard noises. His eyes were swollen and blotchy, but he was no longer in his pajamas.
“I’m clean, now.” The child said softly.
“That’s great, Pete. Now it’s time to eat.”
“Are you still mad at me, daddy? Do you still love me?” The child sounded anxious and insecure.
With a reassuring smile, he let the tray on the night table and took the child in his arms, sitting with him on Peter’s bed.
“I’m not mad, and I want you to pay very close attention to what I’m about to tell you, okay?” The kid nodded, staring at him. “Never, ever, no matter what do you do, no matter how angry I may look or if I scold or ground you, I will never stop loving you, do you understand?” The child nodded after a sigh.
“Love you, daddy.”
“Love you too, kiddo.” He kissed his head. “But you are still grounded. And you still have to take your English class.”
His little genius sighed dramatically. “Why, dad?”
“Why? Well, because… very soon you are going to be doing very big things and you are going to write papers about that to brag about it, and surely a little after that, you’ll need to prepare your acceptance speech for when you win the Nobel Prize, and I really hope, kiddo, that you mention me in it.” Tony tickled his ribs until the little one squirmed with laughter. “So, that’s why.”
“Okay. Okay. Let me go!” Peter begged, wriggling with laughter.
“Fine. Eat, little monkey. And drink all the juice with your vitamins so very soon you can be a very big monkey.”
Those vitamins were actually much more than just vitamins, it was a whole medicine cocktail designed specifically for him; that so far had been giving excellent results. The child had gained some weight, looked healthier and all his medical tests were normal.
Mrs. Mendoza had told him that Peter had nightmares very often, three or four times a week and that was another thing that had improved since the kid was living with him. The frequency of these nightmares had notably reduced; more than a week could pass without the child waking up screaming, and when that happened, it was enough to reassure him with some words while he went back to sleep in his arms. Sometimes he would come to his father's room, and other times Tony would go to his son to wake him up completely. In any case, on those nights, they slept together, the child curled up and stuck to his chest like a magnet.
Having Pepper as CEO turned out to be a huge relief, she was more than competent, and he now only has to attend a very few major meetings, work five or six hours a day at home in R&D and twice by a week at the office supervising his minions. For the first two months he avoided traveling and waited until Peter felt more comfortable at home, and with his nanny.
He had been afraid of Obadiah’s reaction, but after his initial rage, he calmed down. The fact that Pepper was now the CEO surprisingly didn’t seem to affect him too much. Perhaps because he was used to her doing much of the work and because, after all, big decisions still required Tony’s approval.
Peter's adoption, on the other hand, nearly gave him a heart attack. The moment the man shouted at him that he would not allow the company that he and his father had created from scratch to end up in the hands of a brat who might well be the son of indigents or junkies, Tony kicked him out of his home and spent the night with the firm intention of buying his stocks and firing him. Pepper managed to convince him to wait a couple of days and not make any decision in the heat of the moment. After a week, Obadiah came to him and accepted that he had gone too far, promised to respect his personal decisions and even said he was glad to see him so happy with the child.
So, everything was perfect now. He had imagined a sense of fulfillment once he got Peter with him, but his imagination wasn’t even close to what he really felt each afternoon when he and his son were there, just watching tv, playing or reading. He had been totally free of his anxiety meds for the last two months and other than his fears about Peter’s sickness his life was perfect, and he and his kid were very happy.
It wasn’t just his perception that they were happy. That afternoon, when the kid had his session just after the incident about Peter’s English class, Tony once again expressed his insecurities regarding his skills as a parent. He was worried that Peter’s tantrum was a step back and all because he was making some huge mistake with his education.
“No, on the contrary, that’s a huge advance. That means he already feels safe and comfortable enough to test his limits.” The woman said to him and Tony sighed, he really hated psychology. “You did well, many adoptive parents have troubles establishing their authority, but you did the right thing by not giving in.”
“But it is not good for his health to be stressed…”
“No, don’t do that to yourself. If you want Peter to have a normal life despite his illness, you must treat him like any other kid; he is a docile and intelligent child and now he feels more confident. You're both doing very well.”
“Most of the time I don’t know what I am doing.”
“Well, welcome to parenthood, Tony. All parents feel the same way. But you are doing it fine. Do you want to know how I am sure of it?” Tony nodded. “Because Peter idolizes you. You are his role model and you are a very good one.”
He couldn’t help but laugh. Just one year ago, those words would never have applied to him. Now, he wasn’t sure yet to deserve them, but at least he knew he had been working really hard for it.