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English
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Part 1 of Fixshitverse
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Published:
2020-11-17
Updated:
2020-12-05
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3,351
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5/7
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Fixshitverse: Dadwave Week 2020

Summary:

For Dadwave Week 2020 on tumblr!

Day 1: I’ve forgotten my girl! (Soundwave going to go rescue one of his cassettes) - Ravage gets head over pedes when distracting Laserbeak and Buzzsaw.
Day 2. The puns are strong with this one (Dad jokes) - Laserbeak and Buzzsaw online to rich pure energon being offered to them.
Day 3. My dad is stronger than yours! (Cassettes bragging about Soundwave) - In which Frenzy and Rumble get into a brawl with the Predacons over who has the best dad.
Day 4 - Grill Crazy (Soundwave + cassettes mealtime.) - Mealtime? More like food fight time.
Day 5- Soundwave acts like a father to someone else. - In which Soundwave tells the reader to go the fuck to bed

Notes:

For Dadwave week on tumblr: https://dadwaveweek2020.tumblr.com/

Day 1. I’ve forgotten my girl! (Soundwave going to go rescue one of his cassettes) - Ravage gets head over pedes when distracting Laserbeak and Buzzsaw.

Context: Mechanimals monitor, guard, and keep their datanet nodes hidden from vehicleformers that treat them as dumb beasts and to keep the Functionists off their backs. They live outside of the caste system and the war.

Chapter 1: Day 1- Soundwave rescuing one of his cassettes.

Chapter Text

 

Buzzsaw and Laserbeak softly chirped to each other, nestled in their wire nest, peched on top of this area's datanet node.

In the distance, they could feel optics burn into their plating.

Both of them were hardwired into the other, both their HUDS shared the same optical feed. More processing power this way, it was risky to tend to this node, as close as it was to the vehicle city. In ages past, it was remote, but the city of Kaon had slowly ate up the canyon's walls, devouring into their habitat-infrastructure.

Both their plating itched, as their chroma nanites shifted. Laserbeak nudged her twin sister's plating with her beak, she scraped the itchy patch as Buzzsaw kept watch.

They and many others of their flock had developed odd patches, their chroma nanites had decided to develop into a masked violet face. Buzzsaw angrily cawed at the shared thought from her twin sister.

"You know it's a brand, 'Beak. Some mech out there wants to lay claim to us."

"Why you think I'm scraping it off???" Laserbeak shoved against Buzzsaw.

"The infection's hit everyone that backups this data node. You think it's a virus?" Laserbeak asked.

"Ugh, I hope not. Last thing we need is vehicles taking over our datanet." Buzzsaw ex-vented in irritation.

---

Soundwave watched the cyberhawks, via his telescoping lens, optics set at max zoom beneath his crimson visor.

Twin juvenile femmes, judging by their plating's colors and size. Interesting, one was attempting to scrape off the decepticon brand from the other.

So they noticed his newest virus. It wouldn't do for the Autobots to lay claim to the local mechanimal population after all.

Ravage rested quietly within his dock, his eldest had needed a while to be tamed and won over, but in the end he had prevailed.

---

"Ugh, is it gone yet? This brand clashes with my colors." Buzzsaw whined, her throat saws whirrred.

"No, it augh, keeps growing back." Laserbeak scraped, but all the nanites did was regrow and reform. Her sister stretched out her wings and pushed her over.

"Hey!"

"You suck at this!"

Laserbeak, with her helm shoved over the wirenest saw something.

"Hey...wait a minute."

Sitcking out of the node's base was some kind of datadrive, black and with the ugly purple face.

"SOME AFTHOLE INFECTED THIS DATANET NODE!" LOOK!" Laserbeak stuck her wing down to point at it. Buzzsaw looked over and squawked indigently.

"Frag it to the pits! "

---

Soundwave ex-vented. The two cyberhawks had noted his datadrive. Both juveniles cried out in alarm and had hopped down to the base of the node. The red one took the drive into her beak and twisted it off.

Lord Megatron would not be pleased.

"Ravage: Eject. Distract."

He shot his Eldest out of his dock, and Ravage twisted in mid-air from floppy drive to drive-panther. "Your orders, creator?"

Soundwave sent a wireless stream of his camera feed to Ravage.

Via the stream, Ravage watched as the cyberhawks crushed and hopped on the wreckage of the virus drive. "Keep them from escaping, " Soundwave replied.

---

"That's that! " As Buzzsaw said triumphantly, victory flashed in her optics. She flung the broken electronics into the shifting solar-panel leaves into the nearby push. Her helm was titled as she listened for the clatter of the wreckage.

"Music to my ears!" Laserbeak said.

"We need to go now! This node is-" Buzzsaw said, "-compromised." Laserbeak finished.

Their thrusters roared to life.

Something rustled in the brush.

Both of them looked at each other and they both turned around to eye the possible threat.

Oh, just a drivepanther.

Laserbeak's optics shuttered. No one else was supposed to take over their shift at the node.

"Uh, no one's supposed to take over our-"

Buzzsaw shrieked and launched herself at the panther, her beak split into four-ways as her throat-saws erupted out of her maw, screaming to life.

Laserbeak's confusion died into burning rage as she saw the purple face on the flank of the drivepanther.

She too screamed as lasers burned out of her optics.

"TRAITOR! SELL-OUT!" Laserbeak shrieked and threw herself into the fray as the treasonous cat buckled and yowled beneath Buzzsaw.

---

It was a mistake leaving Frenzy and Rumble back at base. At least, the two younglings could've backed up their older sister. But this mission needed stealth and those two were not stealthy.

The golden cyberhawk had now torn off Ravage's rockets with her saws and the other had pinned down his daughter's head beneath her talons, optics burning bright.

No.

Soundwave ran out of the wiretrees, his sonic cannon roared to life. The sonic blasts slammed into the two avianmecha as they were shot off Ravage.

Disoriented, the two clanged as they rolled onto the ground from the force.

Ravage herself wasn't much better. Her audials were clamped shut over her helm and deep gouges marred her once polished frame.

He knelt next to Ravage, letting his digits pet and comfort her.

"Ravage: return. You did well." His helm dropped, Soundwave had not meant for her to be injured at this level. He glanced over at the two cyberhawks, both seemed to be out. Good.

He helped his child twist back into datadrive form and as he inserted her back into his dock, Soundwave's visor flashed as he looked at the knocked out twin avians...he had an idea.

With its guardians gone, it would be easy to reclaim this datanet node for the Decepticon Cause. Besides he was getting tired of Frenzy and Rumbles constant complaints of being the youngest.

Those two rambunctious daughters of his could use younger siblings to temper them. Plus these two cyberhawks proved to be observant, intelligent and vicious fighters. Qualities that he valued in creations and Lord Megatron would be pleased to hear of the newest acquisitions.

 

Chapter 2: Day 2. The puns are strong with this one (Dad Jokes)

Summary:

Laserbeak and Buzzsaw online to rich pure energon being offered to them.

Notes:

These chapters all take place after each other, they aren't oneshots that stand alone.

Chapter Text

 

"We're hungry."

Laserbeak and Buzzsaw were folded into themselves, tail plating flared up and both their biolights flashed angry crimson.

Both of them had come online....inside.

Nervous optics flickered around the room.

Empty shelves below their new nest, fresh cleaning rags as nesting material. Kaon's horizon yawned outside, through the room's wide windows and skylights, its glittering neon buildings, skyscraper fangs that reached up into the smoke choked sky.

"Hi, hungry."

Primus.

That fragging cat.

Scrap that cat into the pits.

If it wasn't for her, neither of them would be in this mess.

Trapped in a vehicle's cubical nest, the azure armored car before them in his bipedal mode. He held a tray of glowing blue energon cubes, the purest energon both of them had ever seen.

He wafted it below them, their captor was kneeling, to make himself look smaller.

Calm slow music played through his speakers.

"I'm Dad."

"Whaaa?" Laserbeak said, tone confused. Buzzsaw scoffed. "We don't need another creator! We were doing fine with our flock!"

The blue vehicleformer tilted his head. "They can visit."

Laserbeak ex-vented. "And betray them? No."

The mech simply stood up

Both sisters pressed themselves back, wings raised in a threat display.

He didn't reply and left the tray right in front of them and sat back down, cross-legged.

He spoke some more, vocal tones reverberating and multi-tonal.

"Both of you will have a better life here. That energon grade can't be found out there. In the wilds. It's only filtered and purified in cities like Kaon."

"Right. And why shouldn't we just break out? Beak here can wreck this whole room alone." Buzzsaw spat, her beak flared out four-ways and then settled back into its usual dyadic split.

"Because I'm on the winning side." The blue mech's holo projector showed a map of Cybertron, the side with the purple brand enveloped most of the planet.

Laserbeak rolled her optics.

This again.

"Please, we have NO side."

The map switched over to the neutral territories and how both sides, the red and purple faces devoured the disappearing grey.

"Unless you want your flock and datanodes destroyed as the battles rage...well....its up to you...I can provide protection, but only if you two join me."

Both Laserbeak and Buzzsaw looked at each other.

Both of them huffed hot air out of their vents. Neither of them could argue with his logic. The energon wells was becoming drier and drier with each passing cycle as the war raged on and why both had been forced to nest in that node. There wasn't much left and the remaining mechanimals were being forced to share a fracturing network that strained from the constant data load.

"Fine. We'll stick around. For now." Laserbeak said.

Buzzsaw dipped her beak into the energon.

Hot charge rushed through their connection.

"It's real." 'Saw said. "Tastes good." Buzzsaw grabbed the cube with her wing-digits and swung it back, she guzzled it down greedily.

The mech folded his arms and made a satisfied sound.

"Both of you are excellent fighters. The Decepticons could use warriors like you.

"Right." Laserbeak said, skeptical.

"Drink." Buzzsaw's vocalizer intoned, energon cube held between the tines of her four-way beak. "Need your strength, that blasted sonic cannon hurt."

The mech chuckled. "Designation: Soundwave. Don't worry, I'll help both of you recover.

"Ravage: Is my eldest. Frenzy and Rumble are the twin hellions, both of you will meet later. They're recharging."

Laserbeak tentatively sipped at the cube, it rushed pure and hot into her fuel systems.

Buzzsaw snagged another cube with her wing digits and raised an optical ridge at Soundwave. "So you want Laserbeak and I to be your second set of hellions."

"....Correct."

".......why."

"You're hungry, I'm dad. It's in my nature." The mech rolled his shoulders back. "You two earned my respect."

 

Chapter 3: Day 3. My dad is stronger than yours! (Cassettes bragging about Soundwave)

Summary:

In which Frenzy and Rumble get into a brawl with the Predacons over who has the best dad. Laserbeak and Buzzsaw happily join in while Ravage is like PRIMUS SAVE ME, EVEN MORE HELLIONS. Meanwhile, Soundwave watches contentedly as his children enjoy their playfighting on livestream.

Notes:

Chapters continue the previous one, they aren't one shots. Also Cyberverse Soundwave is a bastard gremlin and so is his parenting style.

Chapter Text

"My dad's the best one!" Frenzy cried out.


"No way!" Predaqueen growled,  her sisters Darksteel and Sky Lynx snarled in agreement as they flanked her.


"Yeah right! Your dad couldn't punch his way out of an energon cube." Rumble stuck out her glossa and pulled the microplates below her optics.


"Well, our dad's smarter! All yours does is play lame-ooooo music." Darksteel said, her tail lashed.


"Hey, you take that back! "


"Noooooo, your dad's laaaaaaaaaaame."


"I bet your dad can't do this!" Rumble transformed her fore-arms into piledrivers and started to smash the walls behind her.


"Yeah!" Frenzy laughed and joined in the mayhem, her own sonic drums started to beat.
--


"....Are they always like this?" Laserbeak asked, one optical ridge raised at the chaos below. She and Buzzsaw were perched on a wiretree, with Ravage lounging in a metal branch next to them, tail curled around her helm.


Ravage rubbed at her forehelm with a metallic pede. "Yup."


"Looks fun."  Buzzsaw's optics gleamed mischievously. "Always up for a good brawl."


"What? No! Soundwave literally kidnapped us!" Laserbeak replied.


"And? He feeds us. He's protecting our flock, 'Beak."


Laserbeak nearly bluescreened. "That doesn't mean we defend his honor!"


Buzzsaw just looked at Laserbeak like she grew another head. "Who said about defending his honor? We beat up both sides."


Laserbeak's optics flashed. "Whoever beats up more mecha scores more points!"

And with that, lasers shot out of her optics, and both Sky Lynx and Rumble yowled in the distance.

"Who did that? !"

"No, sister!"

" Youwch you got my finish, you stupid bird!"

Buzzsaw cackled and her throat saws whirred to life, as she hopped into the fray.

Laserbeak maniacally laughed as she shot more lasers into the crowd.

Ravage at this point, had quietly slunk off into the undergrowth, audials pinned back.

"Primus, save me. I'm going to kill Creator. Oh, more children would be fun he said. More pitter patter of little pedes would bring joy to the house he said. Managing fragging hellions is good practice for leading an army he said. "

---

Soundwave sipped at an Energon cube as he watched his little ones play on the livestream.

Darksteel was currently dancing to some electronic beats and a barrage of lasers from Laserbeak, while Buzzsaw had Frenzy pinned down. Rumble was tangoing with Predaqueen in a flurry of pile-drivers and claws.

Who needed training sessions when his kids were so rambunctious?

He tilted his visor at the playfighting on screen.

Someone was missing.

Ah, Ravage.

He commed her.

"Ravage: play with your friends and new sisters."

"You have got to be fragging scrapping me."

"No. Socialization: Important for development. Honor: Must be defended."

"...."

Ravage heavily sighed over the comm.

"Latest game: Will be purchased. Soundwave: Will play one-on-one, no siblings."

"FIIIIIIIIIINE."

Soundwave sent two emojis ( <3, :) ) to his eldest, leaned back in his chair and ex-vented in contentment as he watched the playfighting on screen. Life was good. New creations, a healthy playful brood, and best of all...his little ones were winning. He raised a cube to his creations. Time to record this and send it to Shockwave. Hah, that overblown glitch could suck it.

 

Chapter 4: Day 4 (Soundwave + Cassettes Meal Time)

Summary:

Mealtime? More like food fight time.

Chapter Text

Laserbeak and Buzzsaw stared at the strange drink in front of them.

It glowed like energon, smelt like energon, had the same electrical crackle.

But within the cube was strange jiggly little balls, crowned with a thick straw.

Buzzsaw tapped at the cube with her beak, the odd orbs jiggled and shifted.

"Ey, birdie, yer drink's gonna get too warm if you don't drink it soon," Rumble said.

"What." Laserbeak said, speaking for both her and her twin.

Frenzy scooted next to them. "What? Never had bismuth boba before?" Laserbeak shook her helm, while Buzzsaw split her beak four-ways.

Soundwave, who sat at the head of the table, leveled his gaze at all of them. "Laserbeak, Buzzsaw: recently acquired from the Kaonite wilds, used to subpar energon."

Laserbeak ex-vented. "It wasn't subpar."

Buzzsaw huffed. "Yeah, it was. " As she talked, Laserbeak glared at her." We had to drink more for the same amount of rush that these cubes got."

And with that, Buzzsaw's split beak delicately picked up the straw, flung it at Soundwave, and then grabbed the cube with her beak. She guzzled it all down in one gulp.

Meanwhile, the straw hit Soundwave in the face-mask with a plap.

Frenzy and Rumble stared at bird twins in horror.

The family had an unspoken rule. Be an unholy terror to everyone, even each to each other, but target Soundwave?

Now you were just asking for it.

Laserbeak snickered as the straw slid off Soundwave's face and plopped onto the napping form of Ravage, who rested on Soundwave's lap, audials flicking in satisfaction at the pets.

"Mm, that was good. Those little silicon orbs with the crunchy bits really hit the spot. " Buzzsaw said.

Ravage's optics slowly shuttered open and she curiously looked at the straw that rolled off her back. She looked up and saw the wet energon on Soundwave's helm and the snickering Buzzsaw and Laserbeak.

I think I'm full now." Ravage lept off Soundwave's lap. She wasn't going to get in the middle of this. Nope.

Hey, you haven't even gotten any energon boba!" Frenzy said.

"Ravage: Stay. Fueling: Important for development." Soundwave said, voice devoid of emotion.

"I uh...have snacks in my room. Yup, that's it! Bye!" And with that, Ravage dashed away.

"My turn!" This time, Laserbeak delicately picked up the straw with her beak and caterpaulted it at Soundwave.

It didn't go plop on his face.

Instead Soundwave dodged, and it whacked Rumble on the chest.

It plapped down to the floor, as it left energon streaks on her chassis.

Laserbeak cackled as she drank the cube.

Frenzy grinned. "FOOD FIGHT!!!"

oundwave got up, grabbed a bowl of silicon pearls, and lobbed it into his munitions slot.

"Oh, oh slag. Dad's gonna fire!!!!!" Rumble cried out and then flipped the table, and jumped behind it.

Frenzy hurled cable-churros at Soundwave as she too slid behind the table.

Laserbeak and Buzzsaw, confused, sat perched on their chairs.

Soundwave merely side-stepped the churros and the whine of his weapon systems onlining echoed throughout the dining room.

"What are you two doing?! Get behind here!!!" Frenzy said, as she tried to grab the pedes of her new sisters.

Said sisters just fired their thrusters and flew in circles over the chaos.

Soundwave impassively watched them, mischief gleamed in his visor.

Laserbeak scoffed. "Please. We can do-"

Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap.

Gooey silicon balls ricoheted off her plating.

Laserbeak shrieked and dove for the table.

Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. The silicon balls thwacked and bounced off the walls, as they missed.

The cannon swung around and aimed for Buzzsaw.

"Frag!"

She arced and barrell rolled, as silicon flew by and dove for the table.

"Ach, there isn't enough room for all of us!" Rumble shrieked and pushed Buzzsaw into plain view.

Plap.

"What was that for?! " Buzzsaw pressed herself as more silicon slingshotted past her helm.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!"

"RULE NUMBER ONE: YOU NEVER AIM FOR DAD!!!"

Both Rumble and Frenzy yelled out in union.

Laserbeak looked over the table as Soundwave's cannon started charging for round 2.

"Just pile-drive him!"

 

Laserbeak fired her lasers at him, only for Soundwave to merely take one step to the left and her destructive beams scorched the walls

 

PLAP.

"I'M HIT." Her vision was full of nothing but gooy silicon splatted againt her optics.

"I'M NOT PILE-DRIVING MY OWN DAD!!!"

Buzzsaw dragged Laserbeak down and shoved herself back into the crowded pile of sub-adults. "You. ARE ALL COWARDS!!"

"SAYS THE ELECTRO-CHICKEN COWERING LIKE THE REST OF US!"

"Soundwave: Superior. Cassettes: Yield?"

"YES!!!" Frenzy and Rumble screamed.

"NO!"

Both of them glared at Buzzsaw as she wiped the silicon splat off Laserbeak.

"We need to work together!"

"And get grounded???" "No way!"

Fear rose in Rumble and Frenzy's optics as Soundwave wrested the table away from his offspring. They were all now in clear view of his targeting systems.
----

Ravage snickered at the sight of Soundwave walking into the washracks with all four of the hellions tucked under his arms, each set of spark-twins under one arm.

All of them had dented plating, energon streaks, and silicon splatted over themselves. Soundwave himself looked extremely smug for someone with no face, as his speakers blared triumphant music.

Frenzy and Rumble had narrow splits for optics as they frowned, arms folded. Laserbeak angrily glared at Buzzsaw.

"This is all your fault!"

"My fault! If the rest of you weren't cowards, we could've won! Someone could've distracted him!"

"Yah right, birdie! Piss off the mech that gets us free rations?! No thanks!"

Ravage lept to the top of the shower as she turned on the faucets and Soundwave unceremoniusly threw them all into the tub.

"Soundwave: Superior."

Chapter 5: Day 5: Soundwave acts like a father to someone else

Summary:

In which we take a human interlude and Soundwave tells you, the reader, to go the fuck to sleep

Notes:

I was tired and wrote this for a friend bc I couldn't think of anyone else to write this for

Chapter Text

Its 4 am.

Aliens have been revealed to exist.

That's cool you think as you watch the livestreams done by Megatron for the funeral for some weirdo named Suns Screen. Wait that doesn't seem right. Star Screen? Star Scream? Star Cream? Yes, Star Cream, you think in satisfaction as you continue to watch the alien funeral.

You should be asleep, you think. Your dad has gone to bed several hours ago and you relish the psychic quiet at this time.

No parents asking you to fix things, or do chores, or pressure you to get a job.

Its just you. And the aliens.

There's a blue mech on screen. Yes, the aliens are also giant robots, isn't that cool?

He's staring right at whoever is recording this live.

His red visor is impassive, stoic, as he stands there, hands clasped behind his(?) back. (Do aliens even have gender?)

In a fit of boredom and several dares, you even sent emails to some of the aliens a few days ago.

All you got was canned responses from everyone but one. No answer from the last one, the blue one whose staring right at the screen.

As Megatron drones on and on how great Star Cream was, you notice a notification on your Discord DMs.

It says.

"Go the fuck to sleep. Yes, you. I see you logged in watching the stream. I got your email. Go the fuck to bed. "

Holy shit.

It's signed your name.

You look at the userpic, its Soundwave.

???!!!

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