Work Text:
It was unusually quiet in the Diasomnia dorm. Well, it was normally quiet to begin with but this type of silence was odd.
Sebek noticed this as he was walking down the halls. He was on his daily routine (specifically searching for the young master) when he noticed the death-like silence in the dorm. He also noticed that he barely saw anyone since this morning and found this very confusing until-
BOOM!
Sebek stumbled a bit as the whole building shook at the force. For a moment, he thought they were under attack by something and ran down the hall to where he believed was the source of the explosion.
As he rushed towards the kitchen, he noticed several of the dorm students were huddled outside the door. Some of them were shivering and hugging one another, their faces frozen with fear while others were pressing themselves against the door as though to prevent anything or anyone from entering –or rather exiting from the room.
Some were nudging one another and arguing, saying things like “You go in there!” and “No, you go!”
“What on earth is going on?!” Sebek yelled. Everyone turned to him and their eyes teared up as though they had just seen their savior.
“Sebek-san!!” They all cried out and lounged at him in tears. Sebek was taken aback by their reaction and exclaimed. “Will someone explain what is happening here?”
“L-Lilia-senpai…” One of them began, fear clear on their faces. “Lilia-senpai is in the kitchen!”
At that moment, Sebek froze. Those were the type of words you don’t want to hear when staying in Diasomnia. Sebek had heard a few stories when Lilia and Malleus first entered NRC, Lilia had took the liberty to enter the kitchen to make something to celebrate and then....
He didn’t really know much of the details but it became a well-known rule to never leave Lilia in the kitchen alone ever again.
And hearing Lilia was in the kitchen right now...Sebek suddenly had a flashback in his childhood.
He and Silver were practicing swords play when Lilia suddenly came up to them and asked if they wanted to try a meal he just created.
The ever-so naive Sebek happily said yes, completely oblivious to Silver’s horrified expression as well as him quietly escaping to the forest. At the time, he didn’t know the horrors Lilia’s cooking brought. His only thought was the excitement of trying the cooking of the man who was a powerful warrior and the one who practically raised the person he admired more than anything in life.
What happened that day was a blur but apparently he was knocked unconscious for several days after a single bite of his food and could barely taste anything for weeks after that. Although Sebek couldn’t remember much about that day, his body and subconscious seem to do as every time he hears Lilia was cooking, he would have this instinct to run as far away as possible.
And that very same instinct was telling him to do so right now.
Of course Sebek’s pride wouldn’t let him do it, especially in front of the dorm students. He took a deep breath and asked. “Where is Silver?”
“I don’t know. I saw him this morning and told him what was happening then he just disappeared.” Another student explained.
Damn it! That bastard knew about it and ran! Sebek cursed under his breath. He had sincerely hoped he could leave this problem to him, only to find out he bailed in an instant. Not that he could blame him since Silver had spent years enduring Lilia’s…creations and would rather be a coward than face what was happening right now.
BOOM!
Another explosion went off behind the kitchen doors. Most of the students yelped and cried out before ducking down onto the ground as the building shook. They were too scared to even open the door to see what was happening in the kitchen. One student slowly lifted his head and looked up at Sebek.
“S-Sebek-kun, I think you should go and call the dorm head. Maybe he could-“
“Don’t bring the young master into this!!” Sebek yelled angrily. There was no way he was going to put his liege into danger like this. That was just insane!
The student cowered a bit at the sudden raise of his voice then squeaked. “T-Then maybe you could talk to Lilia-senpai. You’re close to him right? You go in!”
The majority of them suddenly exclaimed in agreement.
And before Sebek could react, they all opened the kitchen doors which immediately radiated out an evil aura and shoved him inside, closing the door behind him.
It took a second before Sebek’s mind processed what just happened and he turned around to beat against the doors. “You bastards! Let me out!” He yelled over the door.
Sebek then froze when he heard the faint sound of humming and bubbling behind him. Sebek paled and very slowly with his neck almost creaking in reluctance, he turned to see Lilia happily humming to himself as he stirred…something …in a bowl in the middle of the kitchen.
In the same time, Sebek took notice of the state the kitchen was in…or at least what was left of the kitchen.
Most of the parts of the kitchen were now smeared in black as if bombs were thrown around the place which probably was. Splatters of food were everywhere even up the ceiling and on the appliances with cracked bowls were on the island of the kitchen right next to Lilia, who was either oblivious with the destruction of the kitchen or was just purposely ignoring it in favor of the bowl in front of him.
“U-Um…Lilia-sama.” Sebek reluctantly called out as he stepped forward, seeing as he had no choice in the matter.
Lilia looked up from his work and grinned. “Ah, Sebek! You’re just in time!” He said. “I’m almost done with this so give me a minute.” Lilia then went back to stirring at the said thing in the bowl that was now bubbling despite the fact that there was nothing heating it.
“What exactly…are you making?” Sebek hesitantly asked as he eyed the bowl warily. Lilia looked back at him with the same grin. “Porridge.”
That’s porridge?!!
Sebek resisted the urge to ask how does one turn porridge into a weapon of mass destruction.
Lilia’s cooking wasn’t this terrible. (No, it doesn’t mean Lilia’s cooking was good. It was still very bad, just not this bad!) Usually it was something odd like an uncracked egg on a pan or mixing up salt for sugar, the normal type of bad but when Lilia starts to experiment a bit…
Sebek remembered that day in his childhood once again and he shuddered.
“Done!” Lilia’s voice suddenly exclaimed, breaking Sebek’s train of thoughts and Sebek froze like a statue as he processed in horror what he just heard. Lilia turned towards and grinned. "Sebek, want to try the porridge I made?"
Sebek looked over at Lilia, who was looking at him expectantly as he held up the dish to him. Sebek looked at the dish and paled.
It was dark purple...or was it black mixed with hints of green? He wasn't sure as the colors seem to change every few minutes. It was also bubbling heavily and he could've sworn he saw it hiss at him.
Sebek gulped and looked away.
“N-No, it’s fine Lilia-sama.” He immediately rejected. “I um, already ate so I’m fine.”
“Is that so?” Lilia mused. “Not even a little taste? I’m sure it would taste good.”
Sebek refused to look at Lilia as he continued. “N-No I’m perfectly fine. Thank you.”
Lilia then hummed and there was pause in the air. Sebek wondered if he could escape until Lilia cried out. “Look Sebek! It’s Malleus-sama!”
"Whe-!" Sebek soon found out that he made a fatal mistake as he turned to him. Lilia sneakily took advantage of his opened mouth and stuck a spoonful of mystery food X into it. Sebek instinctively swallowed it by mistake.
Sebek felt like an idiot for falling for that trick and everything went black.
“Lilia, care to explain what has happened here?” Malleus asked as he watched the panicked students rush out of the dorm, carrying an unconscious Sebek with them. His face was drained off color, his eyes rolled to the back of his head, and foam seemed to be bubbling out of his mouth as he was carried to the school’s infirmary.
“A little mishap in the kitchen, Malleus.” Lilia explained, not at all guilty for what he did. “Apparently I still have to work on my cooking skills.”
“Were you not banned from using the kitchen alone?” Malleus arched a brow at him and Lilia simply smiled. “I was just excited to try something new. I thought porridge was too simple so I just wanted to experiment a bit to make it more interesting.”
Malleus simply sighed. “I’ll overlook this matter but next time, don’t use the kitchen to experiment and don’t use the students as your test subjects.”
Lilia then chuckled. “Kufufu how disappointing but if that is your wish Malleus.”
And the day went on without any more victims or incidents, thanks to Sebek’s noble sacrifice.