Chapter Text
Lin tries not to let her annoyance show as she glances once again at the clock. It’s only been five minutes since the nurse left to fetch the doctor, and she’s expecting to wait at least ten more. Last year’s yearly checkup had taken twenty, and the year before that it was eighteen. Yes, she’s certainly keeping track.
Two minutes later, there’s a knock on the door before it’s opened, and Lin glances up in disbelief. Only seven minutes this time? The doctor mistakes the reason for her surprise. “Oh, were you not aware of the switch? I hope it’s not too much of a shock. Dr. Long is at our other location now.”
“No worries, they already told me about that before today. Kya, right? They told me you preferred being called by your first name.” Lin gives what she hopes is a reassuring smile to the doctor, only to quickly look away. Her new doctor is, for lack of a better word, captivating.
“I’m not scary, I promise.” Kya laughs, and Lin finds it to be very pleasant sounding. “Don’t tell me the Chief of Police gets nerves at the doctor?”
“As if.” To prove her bravado, Lin looks Kya straight in the eye, and it takes all her effort not to appear affected. The doctor’s eyes are a bright, inviting blue, and the crinkles around them, emphasized by her smile, gives off an air of warmth and kindness that Lin immediately wants more of.
“Wouldn’t expect anything less. Could you please hop onto that large chair for me? I’m just going to start by reading your blood pressure. After that we’ll go through your file together and see if there’s anything I need to know. I’ll also answer any questions you may have, and then we’ll be able to get you out of here in no time. We’re really just establishing care here today; the real physical will be next visit. Sound good?”
Lin nods, not really paying attention, and holds out her right arm for Kya to put the rubber cuff of the sphygmomanometer on. Suddenly Kya is so close to her, centimeters even, and Lin yearns for more contact. She watches Kya attentively as the doctor squeezes the pump to increase pressure, a look of utter concentration in her eyes. When the numbers come back as normal, Kya nods to herself and releases the pressure, reaching for the cuff to remove it. Lin has the same thing on her mind, reaching over and undoing the velcro. Their fingers brush, and Lin flinches. Kya pretends not to notice, laughing awkwardly.
KYA
Kya hadn’t been able to believe her luck when she was told she was assigned to Lin Beifong. The police chief was a bit of a public figure, not because of her position but because of her highly publicized relationship and subsequent split from the son of the then-governor of their state. From what Kya knew, they’d grown up together, and at some point the lines had blurred and they’d become a couple. Not long after, they made it official and got married young. The public loved the story of the middle school sweethearts who got lucky with love and married the first person they ever dated.
Kya had thought Lin was pretty from the first time she saw her face on the news. As the years went on, she only became more and more appreciative of Lin’s features, likening her to an aging fine wine. Why were the most attractive ones always straight?! Kya found that to be an accurate representation of her own life—too often she caught the eye of an alluring woman only to find out she had a husband or boyfriend. It wasn’t until she started looking in the right places that she was able to find more women like her. Still, her admiration for Lin Beifong as her faraway celebrity crush never left her. In a way, it almost felt like they grew up together. When Lin and her ex-husband split after nearly two decades of marriage, Kya was both furious and ecstatic—furious that the stupid idiot-loser of a man would let Lin slip through his fingers in favor of some paper-boring barely-grown girl and ecstatic that Lin was no longer tied to that lump, even if it had absolutely no bearing on her own personal life whatsoever. Besides, Lin was a 10, and she’d probably be attached to the hip to some other man in no time.
That had been eight years ago. Nowadays the papers were filled with stories on who Kya continued to refer to as the lump, his paper-boring wife, and their budding family, the oldest of which would be eight this year. The thought made Kya seethe. Lin kept a low profile, but her name and picture still popped up occasionally, always accompanied with disrespectful speculation. One thing was for sure—Lin had remained single afterwards this whole time. What she saw in her ex Kya didn’t know, but apparently it was enough to keep her hung up.
Kya wasn’t expecting much from this appointment—it wasn’t like she was about to become best friends with Lin Beifong. Besides, for all the shenanigans she was famous for with family and friends, she rarely allowed herself to bring it to work, especially not while with a patient. She was a professional, after all.
The appointment was going mostly as she’d expected—Lin was aloof and closed off. The bout of shyness in the beginning was unexpected, as was the surprised expression Lin greeted her with. If it wasn’t because she was expecting Dr. Long, Kya couldn’t for the life of her imagine what it was. She hoped it wasn’t because she was recognized from somewhere, because it wouldn’t be flattering. Last week she’d decided that age was just a number and picked up a pair of rollerblades. The problem was, she was trying them out in a blocked-off work area and almost broke both legs running from the authorities yelling at her to leave the area. She was sure that wasn’t Lin chasing her though, or she would’ve stopped… Unless it was that drunk bar singing episode the other night? Kya winced internally.
LIN
Her heart is beating impossibly fast, and Lin wills for it with every fiber of her being to slow down, especially since Kya is about to take her heart rate. Lin considers herself to be in excellent health, and her low resting heart rate is something she’s always been proud of. That’s all about to be thrown down the drain. Kya puts the stethoscope to Lin’s chest and listens.
“Eighty-eight,” Kya remarks, writing the number down as she says it aloud. “Higher than I’d’ve thought,” she murmurs lightly, too soft for Lin to hear.
“It’s usually in the low fifties,” Lin blurts. “This is an anomaly.”
“Really? I believe you, but… would you like me to take it again?”
“No! I mean, there’s no use—I… I seem to be on edge today, I’m sorry.” It’s surely above ninety by now.
“There’s no need to apologize! I always take into account that the numbers I get here in the office are slightly higher than they typically are in a more natural setting.”
Because you’re so beautiful?
“Sorry?”
Shoot. Had she said that aloud? Spirits, please say she hadn’t… “Nothing.”
Kya frowns. “Am I making you uncomfortable?” She hesitates, as if she were about to say something she’d really rather not. “Our highest priority is our patients. If you’d rather I find another doctor for you…”
“No!” Lin seems to be saying that a lot today. “I’m fine. Please just go on.”
“If you’re sure.” Kya gives the other woman a gentle smile and walks over to her desktop, where Lin’s file is already pulled up. While she’s busy scrolling through the top of the record, Lin can’t help but gaze at her doctor. Kya’s overall demeanor is so light, so inviting. Her tanned skin is framed by long, voluminous gray hair that completely suits her; if anything, Lin would say that the gray gives her a youthful edge.
“—smoke?”
Lin jerks out of her stupor, terrified for a moment that Kya caught her staring, only to sag in relief when she sees that the other woman is still staring at the screen. “Pardon?”
“Oh, I was just asking if you smoke. I’m trying to fill in the missing blanks in your file here. It doesn’t look like it’s been updated very recently. Some parts have also been cleared out, for whatever reason. If you don’t mind, I’m about to ask you a whole slew of questions.”
Lin nods, conveying her understanding. “No, I don’t smoke.”
“Any alcohol?”
“Once in a while.”
“What kind?”
There is a slight pause, but Lin eventually answers. “Grocery store wine. You know, like the cheap Riesling that Aldi sells.”
Kya stops her questioning to let out a little laugh. “Don’t worry, everything said here is completely confidential.”
Lin bites her lip and smiles shyly. “I’ve tried them all, but it’s always the cheap ones that get it.”
“Maybe if you do well for the rest of my questions, I’ll admit that I don’t hate the grocery store wines either,” Kya smirks, hoping to lighten the mood. “Anyway, what about food? Would you say that you eat a balanced diet regularly?”
“More or less.”
“Can you walk me through a daily day of meals?”
“Damn, I was hoping you wouldn’t ask.”
“Oh?” Kya raises an eyebrow.
“To be honest, I typically have some oats or eggs—not both!—when I wake. Then, I head to the station and get to work. If I realize I’m hungry I’ll grab something from any of the food places nearby. Then when I get home if I’m not too tired I’ll make something.”
“If you realize…”
Lin shrugs. “There’s work to be done.”
“Ok, I’ll put down that you need to work on that.” Kya holds up a hand, stalling any protests that Lin might have been about to give. “What about exercise? How many minutes do you think you’re active per day?” She watches as Lin appears to be doing the math in her head.
“At least an hour. I’m not chasing perps every day, but I live close enough to the station that I often jog there instead of driving. As much paperwork as I do, I’d die if I just sat at my desk all day, so I do get up for breaks, and I’d say that I’m active when I do that.”
“And I’d say you go to the gym too, right?” With arms like that, Kya almost added.
“Here and there, but not as often as I used to.”
“Hm, surprising,” Kya murmurs inadvertently. Blushing slightly, she hurries on to the next question. “Are you attracted to males or females or both or neither?”
Lin feels the world close in on her.
Lin’s earliest memory is from when she was three. It was naptime at daycare, but the pretty lady wasn’t in the room like she usually was. It made Lin very sad—so sad that she couldn’t fall asleep. As she tossed and turned, the strange man came over to ask if she was alright. Upon seeing her tears, he fetched the nurse who took her temperature. Everything came back normal, but Lin continued to be in distress. The next day, when the pretty lady returned, Lin felt that the world had righted itself.
When Lin was seven, one of the girls brought a magazine to school. All the other girls obsessed over the teenage boy on the cover, with some of them going so far as to kiss the image. Lin stared and stared, but she could not find herself feeling any sort of excitement.
When she was eight, one day she looked at her math teacher and everything changed. She was, quite simply, in love. For all intents and purposes, Mrs. Lak was quite plain-looking, but Lin thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. She might have come on too strong, for she remembered cheerfully saying hello to the woman and being returned with, “you already said hello to me five minutes ago, you don’t have to do it again.” That stung, but it didn’t make Lin feel any less for her.
From ages nine till eighteen, she continued to have raging crushes on her female teachers. She didn’t think twice about any of it—it was such a natural instinct, to want to be near them, to want to converse with them and spend time with them. Sometimes, she wondered if it was the so-called mommy issues. She and her mother were never close, and was it that she wanted to be these teachers’ daughter? At the time, she had no clear answer.
At sixteen, she experienced the worst heartbreak in her life up to date. She had newly crushed on a history teacher who went on maternity leave just three months into the school year. Lin counted down the days till she was scheduled to return four months later, but she chose motherhood instead and never returned. It messed Lin up pretty bad, and for years afterwards she felt an empty pang when thinking of that particular teacher.
While all this was happening, it was at age fourteen that she found herself becoming closer and closer to Tenzin. The guy was clearly sweet on her, and Lin was flattered. She wasn’t desperate to find a boyfriend like all the other girls, mainly because not a single boy had caught her eye, but it didn’t hurt to finally have something in common with the rest of them for once. Besides, it meant she got to spend more time on Air Temple Island, Tenzin’s nickname for the nice pad his family owned. The less time Lin spent at home, the better she felt. Tenzin’s siblings were eons kinder to her than Su, and she wished Tenzin’s parents were her own.
Even better, Tenzin came with Katara, and Lin knew it was absolutely weird to have a crush on her boyfriend’s mother, but life happens… Being with Tenzin meant she could have close interactions with Katara, beyond what she could ever get with any of her teachers, and that was enough.
It never even occurred to Lin that she could be the l-word, because didn’t those people like girls? Lin had never liked a girl her age—that was just as off-putting to her as liking any of the boys. No, she just admired older women, and that most certainly didn’t make her a… a that.
PRESENT
“Erm…” The question reduces Lin to a stuttering mess, and she feels herself trembling slightly under the pressure. Kya watches in utter fascination as the other woman clenches her fists and looks down, not expecting this simple question to drive Lin to such a state.
“It’s okay, I can just skip—”
“Both,” Lin blurts out suddenly. “Next question, please.” The lie weighs heavily on her tongue, and she wishes she had the courage to just say females, but then she’d probably have to explain her public history with Tenzin, and that is not something she wants to do. When she had first started coming to this office many years ago, Dr. Long had asked her the same question, and she hadn’t even hesitated before easily answering males. Now, though… a part of her wants Kya to know that she thinks women are so damn pretty!
It takes all of Kya’s efforts not to jump out in celebration. Lin Beifong is bi? This is news to her. Since when? Was she single? The questions race through her mind even as she hurries to move on with the questions to bring Lin out of her clear discomfort.
“Do you have a family history of high blood pressure?”
“No.”
“High cholesterol?”
“No.”
“Heart attack?”
“No.”
“Stroke?”
“No.” Lin continues answering in the negative for the rest of Kya’s questions, thankful that they are much easier to respond to. As far as she’s aware, she’s in perfectly good health.
“Well, we’ve finally reached the end of the list. I’ll order the lab tests and send them over to your closest testing center. Do you have any questions for me?”
“No. Wait. That’s it? What about all the other stuff that usually happens—you know, with the stethoscope and the tongue-stick and all that?”
Kya smiles with amusement. “I mentioned in the beginning that this was just the initial visit and that we’d do the rest of it next visit once we get your lab results. You nodded, remember? Or were you sleeping on me?”
Lin quickly pushes away the image that sleeping on me conjures up. “There’s going to be another visit? I won’t have to wait a whole year for that, right?”
“I don’t think I could go that long without seeing you.”
“Pardon?” Lin is sure she misheard that one.
“I mean, it’s probably not legal to only do part of your physical and make you wait a whole year for the rest of it, especially for insurance purposes.”
“Right. Right. For a moment I thought…. Nothing. So what all will happen next visit? I’m used to Dr. Long doing it all at once.”
“Yeah, I’m aware. But I like to be able to discuss lab results with my patients, and since those always happen after a doctor’s visit, it made sense for me to split it this way. Next visit will just be what we skipped this time—eyes, ears, stomach, heart, lung, abdomen, breast… Just the annual things. Luckily for you, your records say you got your pap smear last year, and since that’s every three years for your age group, I won’t subject you to that.”
Lin shudders as she recalls that experience. “A necessary evil,” she agrees. Sensing that the appointment is over, she hops off the chair, thinking that she should have done that sooner. “Well, I don’t have any other questions. Thanks for your time today. I’m sorry for being so jittery in the beginning. Hopefully you’ll see a better version next time.”
“No worries, I’ve definitely seen worse. It was a pleasure working with you, and I promise, everything you said today is confidential.”
Lin nervously runs a hand through her hair, not wanting to remember that she had half-outed herself.
“And by that, I mean I won’t go tell the papers that you drink grocery store wine.” Kya winks at her, smiling wider when Lin smiles too. “The front desk will help you set up a follow-up appointment. I assume you know to fast before your lab tests?”
“Yeah, been doing it for years.”
“Great. I’ll see you whenever you end up scheduling that second appointment!”
Lin shuffles backwards slowly, wanting to say something more but unsure what exactly. “Thanks, you too,” she ends up going with. Feeling a blush start on her face, she quickly retreats before it becomes noticeable.
Had she turned around to give Kya a last look as she wanted to, she would have seen the doctor standing outside the door and gazing at her retreating form curiously.