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“You changed me, Dean.”
Cas was crying and Dean was trying not to. He couldn’t believe this conversation was actually happening. So much has happened in the past day, and now this. Realistically, Dean knew what this was, but he didn’t want to believe it.
In a voice so resigned, Dean almost couldn’t believe it was his, he asked, “Why does this sound like a goodbye?”
Cas had the audacity to confirm what Dean already knew, “Because it is.”
No, it’s not, Dean decided. They could figure something else out. They had to. He was about to say as much, but Cas spoke again before he was able to. “I love you.”
Cas smiled at Dean, but that didn’t stop his heart from shattering. Cas smiled like this was the best moment of his life. He smiled like he wasn’t about to die. He smiled so brightly that Dean wanted to smile back. He wanted so desperately to return that smile, but he was frozen. Dean knew he had to say something, but the words were caught in his throat. The second passing felt like an eternity, and Dean wished it would never end. But it was going to. It was unavoidable. Dean couldn’t freeze this moment and hold Cas here. The second was over and Dean said the only words he knew.
“And I, you, Cas.”
The impossible happened. Cas’s smile grew. Dean wanted so badly to pause time and never resume it. He could happily live the rest of his life looking at Cas’s smile. It was so bright Dean almost forgot about the hopelessness of their situation.
Almost.
Because as soon as he forgot, there was a horrible wet noise behind him, and Billie burst in behind Cas. They were no longer two best friends finally telling the other about their love, but were now no hunters who were about to die. Or maybe Dean wouldn’t. Dean wasn’t sure which ending was worse. Dean turned around to confirm his suspicions. A scene from his nightmares was behind him. The Empty was squeezing through the bricks of the wal, pushing a portal open. He turned back and was confronted with Cas still smiling at him.
Dean tried to breathe, but the closest he got was once exhale, “Cas.”
Cas put his hand on Dean’s shoulder, as he had done so many times in the past years. In a twisted perversion of what’s become Cas’s catchphrase, Cas answered, “Goodbye, Dean.”
Before Dean could say anything else, Cas shoved him aside. He hit the floor beneath the portal, helpless. Cas looked at Dean one last time, smiling. The Empty wrapped around him. Then he was gone.
It was too fast.
It happened too fast.
Dean was alone.
He couldn’t breathe.
What was he supposed to do now?