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“Rey?”
There was that tone again. That condescending, you are a fuck up and I’m king of the world tone. She sighed into her bag of crisps.
“Yes?” she sang back from her position on the couch, lying down with her legs vertical and resting on the back of the sofa crossed at the ankles. Ben appeared in her eye view, chewing his cheek and looking like a bee had strung him.
“Can you read or did you just decide to ignore the note on top of my gluten free bread rolls stating they were my property and not to be touched by feral little raccoons like you?”
Rey smiled and batted her eyelashes. “I can read but as I’m not a raccoon I assumed the note didn’t apply to me,” she replied sweetly.
Ben groaned. “I cannot stand living with you.”
Rey laughed. “Sure you can’t.”
“What does that mean?” Ben asked suspiciously.
“Nothing, nothing at all” Rey said with a smirk.
Ben frowned. “It’s your turn to do the dishes.”
“I’ll get to them later.”
Ben rolled his eyes. “You say that because you know I cannot stand to ignore them and will obviously give in first.”
“I said I’ll get to them Ben. Have a little faith in me.”
“I cannot stand to look at them, Rey.”
“Close your eyes then,” Rey offered.
Ben balled his hands into fists. “I know I say this everyday but I wish I’d never moved in with you.”
Rey laughed again. She always laughed at his insults. She never took any of his threats seriously and Ben was flummoxed to understand why. She always took all of his anger with an easy smile. Why? Was there some reason for her tolerance? She couldn’t know his secret. There was no way she could have found out...was there?
“Penny for your thoughts?” Rey said, sitting up and cocking her head to the side.
Ben cleared his throat awkwardly. “I’m going to do the dishes you want to pretend don’t exist.”
Rey shrugged. “Knock yourself out.” Ben disappeared into the kitchen once more and Rey grinned.
“You think you’re so tough don’t ya, Solo?” she muttered into her crisp bag. “But I know your secret.” she put a crisp into her mouth and crunched it up. “I’ll see you tonight for our regular appointment.”
Later, Rey lay in bed excitedly waiting until it was time for her nightly show to start. She checked the clock. Ten minutes to go. The good thing about having an anal, overly controlling roommate like Ben was, he always went to bed and fell asleep at the same time every night. Rey closed her eyes and peeked at the clock again. Five minutes to go. She grinned into the darkness. Living with Ben was trying. Very trying. But there were some perks. One of those perks was about to begin and Rey had never missed a showing since she had discovered Ben’s little secret. She looked at the clock once more. It was time. Rey got up and tiptoed out of her room. She opened the door to Ben’s room and slipped across the floor soundlessly having long ago memorised which floorboards would creak and which wouldn’t. There was Ben on the left side of the bed, tucked into his matron approved neat cornered bed. Rey pressed her lips together to keep from laughing, then climbed onto the bed and lay down on her stomach. She held her head in her hands so she could look down at Ben and crossed her legs at the ankles so she could sway them gently in the air.
Ben sensed her presence. “Mom?”
“No Ben, not Mom. it’s Rey,” she whispered softly.
Ben’s mouth curled into a smile. “Rey. My Rey.”
“Yes, your Rey.”
“Will you marry me?”
Rey giggled gently. “How many times have you asked me to marry you Ben?”
“216.”
Rey shook her head. “And how many times have I rejected you?”
“216,” Ben replied sadly with a pout. Oh no. She had to improve his mood fast or her enjoyment would end too quickly.
Rey stroked Ben’s hair and he smiled once more.
“Why do you want to marry me Ben?” she asked.
“Love my Rey.”
Rey’s heart jumped and she smiled widely. “How much?”
“More than anything.”
“More than your gluten free bread?”
“Yes.”
“More than clean dishes?”
“Of course.”
“Then why are you so mean to me, Ben? If you love me so much?”
Ben’s forehead creased. “Don’t mean to be. Just don’t like mess.”
Rey nodded. “Can’t you learn to live with a bit of mess? For me? For your Rey?”
There was a long sigh. “Love Rey. Hate mess.”
Rey screwed up her mouth. “What if I can’t change?”
“Don’t change. Love you.”
Rey shook her head good naturedly. “You don’t love my messy ways.”
“That just makes me...scared.”
Rey frowned. “Scared? Why?”
“Messiness means messy head and messy heart. Maybe no room for Ben.”
“Of course there’s room for you.”
A brief smile and then it was gone again. “But room for so many other things too. Naughty things. Rey steals food. Rey won’t clean. Rey doesn’t care about Ben’s feelings.”
Rey’s mouth fell open as something finally clicked into place. She realised why Ben always berated her. He was afraid. Afraid that her inability to agree to his terms meant she didn’t care about him. He was testing her, to see if she would return his love and she was failing. If she wanted Ben to admit that he really loved her, she was going to have to try and live by his rules.
“Okay Ben, I’ll do it. To show you I care about you, I’ll do it,” Rey said determinedly.
Ben smiled. “That’s my girl.”
Rey grinned. “Then maybe you will finally be able to tell me how you really feel.”
“Can’t be the first one.”
What did that mean? Ben was so competitive he always wanted to be first. Rey shrugged. Sometimes there was some nonsense mixed in with Ben’s emotional confessions. She kissed his cheek and slipped out of the room.
The next morning, Rey awoke before Ben. She tidied her room, put away all the dishes, started the washing machine and visited the market to replace all of Ben’s food that she had eaten that week. When Ben got out of bed, Rey was dressed and sitting on the kitchen counter swinging her legs over the side while eating an apple.
Ben blinked as he looked around him. “You cleaned.”
Rey nodded.
Ben moved towards the counter and picked up the bread rolls. “You bought groceries.”
“I did indeed.”
“I wasn’t sure you knew the way to the market.”
“Funny.”
“What brought all this on?”
Rey shrugged. “I wanted to show you that I do care about your feelings.”
The look he gave her was so hopeful she could see that she had made the right decision.
“You care about me?” he asked.
Rey nodded and jumped down from the bench. She threw her apple core into the bin and came towards him. “Ben, is there anything you want to say to me?”
“Thank you?” he offered.
Rey sighed. “Anything else?”
Ben swallowed hard and ran a hand through his hair. “Nothing I can think of.”
Rey looked at him knowingly. “Ben, you have feelings for me.”
His eyes widened and he looked panicked. “What? No I don’t! Why do you think that?”
“You told me.”
“What?”
“You tell me every night right after you fall asleep.”
Ben closed his eyes tightly. “I...I haven’t talked in my sleep for years.”
“You talk to me every night.”
His eyes snapped to hers. “How do I know this is the truth?”
“Why would I lie to you?”
“To get what you want.”
“Ouch, is that really what you think of me?” Rey said, putting a hand over her heart and taking a step back.
Ben opened his mouth to speak but then closed it and shook his head slowly. “No.”
Rey came towards him once more. “Tell me how you feel about me, please Ben.”
Ben remained silent and Rey’s heart ached. Why couldn’t he open up to her? What did she need to do?
“Fine, you want proof? I’ll get you proof Ben,” Rey said angrily before stomping out of the apartment. She wiped her tears and growled as she headed down the stairs. “I’ll show you,” she mumbled as she walked to Rose’s to lick her wounds.
Rey came home very late that night. Ben had tried to call, but Rey had ignored every one of his attempts. She crept into the flat knowing Ben was already in bed. She headed straight for his room and carefully pushed open the door. Ben was asleep in his usual position. Rey crept over to him and lay down on her side next to him. With her phone in her hand set to record she whispered in Ben’s ear.
“Ben, I tried to tell you how you feel about me today and you didn’t believe me, can tell me how you feel about me? so I can prove it to you?”
Ben didn’t say anything.
“Ben?” Rey whispered.
Ben didnt respond. Rey’s tears started to fall once more. Had it all ended? Had Ben found a way to stop himself from talking in his sleep? Would she never hear his sweet words of love for her again?
“Ben? Please talk to me. I need to hear you say the words. I need to hear them more than ever before. Please don’t shut me out Ben. I need you...because...I...I...love you.”
Strong arms crushed her against his chest moments before even stronger lips pressed against hers.
“Rey, my Rey,” he murmured, holding her close and kissing her tears away.
“You’re awake?” Rey managed to squeak in her stunned state.
“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, baby. I just needed to know. I needed to know you felt the same.”
“You set a trap for me?” Rey said angrily trying to detangle herself from Ben’s arms.
“I just needed to hear you say it, Rey. Please don’t go. I love you. I love you so goddamn much. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to kiss you or hold you like this. My beautiful Rey.”
Rey stopped struggling. “Say more things like that.”
Ben smiled. “My perfect girl, so full of sunshine always taking my angry temper with an easy smile, how could I not love you?”
“This is true,” Rey said, settling back into his arms and snuggling against his chest. Ben kissed the top of her hair.
“Rey, you’re the girl of my dreams.”
Rey smiled. “Okay, I forgive you.”
Ben sighed with relief. “Rey? Could you…tell me what else I said to you in my sleep?”
Rey smiled and held him close thinking about the 216 proposals. “I’ll tell you tomorrow. It’s been quite a day, I really need to sleep now.”
Ben swallowed and Rey noted he glimpsed at a small box on the bedside table. What was that? That wasn’t normally there...it couldn’t be a...could it? Before she got a chance to ask, Ben kissed the top of her head and announced it was time to go to sleep. They snuggled down together. Rey waited until Ben’s breathing turned rhythmic before she asked the question that was burning on her lips.
“What’s in the box, Ben?”
He answered straight away. “A ring.”
Rey’s heart stopped beating. “For me?”
“Of course.”
“How long have you had a ring for me, Ben?”
“A while.”
Rey giggled, then extracted herself from his arms and reached across him for the box...
The next day, Ben woke up very suddenly and bolted upright in bed. Rey was next to him facing away. He suddenly had a flash of a memory from the night before. He felt a kiss on his lips which drew his hand to his mouth and Rey’s words floated through his mind.
“Ben, my answer is yes. Can you remember that? Try to remember. It’s important.”
Ben furrowed his brow, then his eyes widened with realisation. He reached for the box. The ring was missing. He looked at Rey who had turned to face him in her sleep. There was the sparkling diamond he had purchased months ago, now sitting on her ring finger. Ben’s mouth fell open then he smiled. He smiled the biggest smile he had ever smiled, when he started laughing and Rey woke up and quickly joined in. They hugged and kissed and Ben clasped Rey’s hand which his ring now occupied within his own.
“How is it possible that my dreams have come true?” he murmured, bringing her hand to his lips and pressing a kiss to the soft skin that resided there.
Rey smiled and reached up to kiss him. She pulled away and caressed his cheek as she answered his question...
“Because I’m your dream girl, Ben, I hear all your dreams, but now it’s time to make them a reality, because I can’t wait any longer. It’s time to bring your dreams to life and for us to be together.”
Ben pressed her gently down onto the bed. “I couldn’t agree more, I just hope my future missus can do the dishes once in a while.”
Rey giggled “In your dreams, Solo!” she replied as Ben leaned in to kiss her once more.
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