Chapter Text
Harry wasn’t surprised that he was being called to Dumbledore’s office, alone.
He was still shaking a little, all the way up. It had only been a day since the incident at the Ministry, and his heart hadn’t stopped beating like a drum. It had been such a near miss with Sirius almost falling through that strange archway - and now, of course, he wasn’t any less anxious at the prospect of having to explain himself.
When Harry got into the office (the password was Fizzing Whizzbees), he was surprised to find that Dumbledore wasn’t alone. Snape was there, too.
“Harry,” Dumbledore greeted him. He was actually looking at him, for the first time in a long time. “Please sit down.”
Harry took the seat in front of the desk. “Why’s Professor Snape here, sir?” He questioned warily.
“I am here because the Headmaster finally believes me when I say there is something you are hiding from me,” said Snape. “Your skill with Occlumency is no accident, and after what happened at the Ministry, I refuse to let it go unaddressed.”
“You mean Voldemort,” said Harry. “What did happen?”
“I rather thought you might know,” said Dumbledore. He had arrived just in time to witness it. “He appeared to attack you - I believe he meant to possess you - and then something caused him enough pain to make him very suddenly depart.”
“Possess me?”
“Indeed. Voldemort has spent years delving ever deeper into the Dark Arts. I was surprised you managed to repell him so easily.”
“Oh,” said Harry. “Well...knowing what he was doing, I’m a little surprised too.” But not very much. “Why are you telling me this? Sir.”
Dumbledore smiled faintly. “I know we have not spoken often this year. I apologize for that. I hope that my reasoning will soon become clear, but before we discuss anything so honestly as I had planned on, I would like to address Professor Snape’s concerns.”
Harry still didn’t understand why on Earth Snape was ‘concerned’ about him, and he didn’t really believe it either, but obviously Dumbledore did. He swallowed nervously. He had hoped that maybe Snape hadn’t noticed anything odd, digging around in his memories during Occlumency lessons.
“I have asked Professor Snape to be here,” said Dumbledore, “because, Harry, I am afraid something may already be in your mind that we don’t know about.”
“That you don’t know about,” said Harry. Snape stared; Dumbledore frowned.
“Perhaps you could explain,” was all the headmaster said.
Harry made himself put his hands down so he stopped fidgeting like he was nervous. Even though he was nervous. He hadn’t been able to talk with Gabriel since returning from the Ministry, so he was flying blind. He just had to hope it was alright.
“When I was a kid,” Harry blurted out, just to get it over with, “I, er - heard voices? Just the one, not voices, plural. And eventually he introduced himself, when I got old enough to start wondering if I was crazy because I’d figured out that wasn’t normal, and he asked if it was alright that he was there, and I asked him where he’d come from. He said my mum summoned him. He didn’t know what for since he...” Harry swallowed. “He didn’t get a chance to ask her. But he said something went wrong, since she probably didn’t mean for it to end up...you know. Like this.”
Dumbledore steepled his fingers. “Let me see if I am following,” he said. “You are, as far as you know, already possessed?”
“...Yes,” Harry admitted quietly.
“And this parasite has been there since you were a year old.”
“He’s not a parasite,” said Harry defensively. “He saved Sirius’ life!”
Dumbledore looked surprised. “How can you be sure of that?”
“Because it wasn’t me. I couldn’t react in time.” But nevertheless, Harry had found himself teleporting across half a room and shoving Sirius bodily out of the way of a spell that, Harry realized afterwards, might have forced him back through the ominous, empty archway. “I know what it feels like when Gabriel does something for me.”
“You know? Has he acted for you before, this Gabriel?”
“Not often, but-”
“Harry, I can’t overstate how exceedingly dangerous that is.”
“I know,” Harry said in frustration, “but I was going to say, it’s not like when Ginny was possessed. I was worried about it, too, but it isn’t. I’ve never lost time like Ginny did, and I knew who he was and what he was doing and why he was there. Voldemort didn’t tell Ginny anything except to trick her.”
“And you believe you are not being tricked?”
“If I were, I figure he’d probably have been caught in a lie sometime in the last fourteen years,” said Harry, unable to stop himself from being sarcastic. He winced. “Sorry - I just mean, I’ve lived with him, sir. I know what it sounds like, but of course I don’t doubt him. He saved Sirius’ life, and he’s done a million other things. He tried to heal me when I got bitten by the basilisk, two years ago, and he’s made living with the Dursleys a thousand times more bearable.”
“What exactly does this ‘Gabriel’ claim to be?” Snape asked, deeply suspicious. “There are several known mind-parasites known to wizards, none of them benevolent.”
“I don’t know.” Harry shrugged. “He said my mum summoned him, and he remembered some of what the summoning circle looked like.”
“Summoning circle?” Dumbledore repeated.
“That’s what he called it. He drew it out for me once, and I showed it to Hermione, and she said it looked like something her Ancient Runes professor would give them as a puzzle. But she couldn’t figure it out,” Harry admitted. “Gabriel left a lot of blank spots.”
Dumbledore looked grave. “Harry,” he said gently, “if Gabriel were truly benevolent, why would you not tell us about him before now?”
“Surely the thing encouraged him to keep it secret,” Snape grumbled.
“He said he was afraid you’d try to get rid of him,” Harry said. “Kill him or something. I - I was kind of afraid too.”
Snape scoffed. Dumbledore sighed.
“May I ask why?” Dumbledore’s tone wasn’t condescending, but Harry still felt as though he were being treated like a little kid.
Harry tried to think over his answer. “I do know what this sounds like,” he said quietly. “After what happened to Ginny I thought about it a lot, and Gabriel and I talked about it. I was afraid you’d only see something like what happened to her, and assume I was crazy and wasn’t in my right mind. And...
“I don’t know. I don’t think I am thinking the way I would if this had happened recently. But I’ve lived with Gabriel my whole life. This must be my right mind because it’s the only one I’ve ever had. He could have taken over my body when I was a baby and done anything , probably, I don’t think babies are very sturdy and Aunt Petunia probably wouldn’t have stopped him . But all he did was help me stay out of Dudley’s way and try to make friends at school. And he never did it for me, just...talked to me.” Harry looked up at Dumbledore. “Isn’t there something I could do to prove to you I have a reason to trust him?”
Now Dumbledore only looked sorrowful. “I understand this all seems very rational to you,” he said, “but people have a way of rationalizing these kinds of situations to themselves. Even if your mother did summon something-”
“Do you know if she did? Sir.”
Dumbledore glanced at Snape, and that was telling enough. “It may align with some unanswered questions, about that night,” Dumbledore allowed. “But it does not prove that this Gabriel has not tricked you in some way.”
“You could talk to him,” Harry offered impulsively. “I mean, not right now-”
“To give it time to prepare its defense?” Snape sneered.
“Because he’s not talking to me right now,” Harry said angrily. “This happens every time he does something big, like trying to heal me or help me get away from the Dementors. He goes quiet and I don’t hear or feel anything from him for days.”
That seemed to be odd enough to confuse even Dumbledore. Or at least, he gave Snape another significant look instead of immediately answering.
“There are avenues of research I can look into,” Snape said grudgingly, answering whatever question he saw in the look.
“I believe that would be helpful,” said Dumbledore. He turned back to Harry. “In light of all this, I believe it may be best if you were to return to Grimmauld Place for a few days, once the school year ends.”
Harry brightened. He hadn’t anticipated that reaction. “That’s good,” he said in relief. “Then I can explain to Sirius what happened.”
“I think I can notify Sirius a little sooner than that.” Dumbledore observed Harry over his half-moon glasses for a moment. “Do you understand the severity of this situation, Harry?”
Harry drooped again. “Yes, sir,” he said, though what he really understood was why Dumbledore was taking it so seriously. “But if you’re willing to wait until I’m back at Grimmauld Place, you could talk to Gabriel then. I think he’ll be awake by then.”
“Hm,” was all Dumbledore said in reply. “In the meantime, I think it may be wise to have Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley keep an eye on you, just in case.”
“...You mean tell them about Gabriel? I was already going to do that.”
“Oh?”
“Why wouldn’t I tell them about him, if I’ve already told you?” And Snape, Harry didn’t say. He wished the potions professor hadn’t been present for the conversation, but it wasn’t like he could have asked Dumbledore to send him away. “Oh - sir, if you were about to dismiss me...”
“Yes, Harry?”
“I was going to say I know why Voldemort gave up so fast,” said Harry. “If he tried to possess me, I don’t know if there just wasn’t space, but that would involve seeing into my mind, right?”
“To some degree, yes, he would be able to access your thoughts if he tried to share the same mind with you.”
“Right,” said Harry. “So that makes perfect sense. He must have seen Gabriel’s instead. He - I mean, Gabriel said that during Occlumency he had to be really careful not to let Snape see anything that would hurt him.”
“Professor Snape, Harry.”
“A likely story,” Snape said, looking at Harry as though the explanation had purposefully offended him. “Obviously he was just trying to avoid my finding out about his presence.”
“Well, if he did, it obviously didn’t work,” Harry replied, taking some satisfaction in making Snape scowl. “But it hurt Voldemort to look, didn’t it? I don’t see why doing the same thing wouldn’t have hurt you, too.”
“Did Gabriel offer an explanation for this phenomenon?” Dumbledore asked, still grave.
“Yes, he said...well, basically, his mind was too inhuman and interacting with it hurt because a person’s brain would try really hard to understand it but couldn’t.”
“Have you ever experienced this?”
“No,” Harry said immediately, then frowned. “Well, the Dementors kind of hurt, but that was a special case. I think they affected him as much as they did me.”
Dumbledore sighed. “I will think about this further,” he said. “We will discuss this at Grimmauld Place.”
Harry got up at the clear dismissal. He was already starting to worry over having to explain all of it again to Ron and Hermione.
Ron and Hermione turned into them and Ginny, and Luna and Neville just in case. Ginny was there because she was the only one who’d been possessed before, and Luna and Neville came because they’d all been at the Ministry, so it made sense that the six of them should all be in it together.
Ginny took it the best, actually. When Ron, frustrated, demanded to know why, she turned a fierce glare on him.
“When I was possessed it felt awful,” she said, “even if I didn’t know what was going on. It was horrible and there was nothing good about it. But Harry’s not losing any time, and he says his mum summoned this thing, so if he says he trusts it, I’m going to believe him. Besides he’s got the rest of you watching, and if this thing does turn out evil-” She turned on Harry and stabbed a finger at his chest- “You tell it that I’m not above casting a Bat-Bogey Hex on you, too.”
“Sure,” Harry said warily, “but I think he can guess that already, he’s seen you cast it.”
“What? How?”
“Well, he pays attention.” Seeing everybody’s confused looks, Harry elaborated. “Just because he’s not the one directing what my body does doesn’t mean he’s not in it. I know he can see and hear things going on around me because he’ll say things about it.”
“Do you mean,” said Hermione, “that he’s been watching us all this time?”
“Not all the time,” said Harry in disgust. “I mean, I’ve got to go to the bathroom and things like that.”
“What about right now?” Asked Neville anxiously. “Is he listening to us talk about him?”
“I don’t think so, but that’s because he’s not doing anything at all, as far as I can tell. It’s like I told you, he won’t respond after doing big things like what happened at the Ministry.”
“Well, tell us as soon as you hear from him,” Hermione instructed Harry. “If we have to brainstorm ideas about what to do if he does something to you-”
“He’s not going to do anything to me, he’s helped me save most of your lives in the last four years!”
But none of them, not even Ginny, seemed willing to entirely believe Harry. It was in a frustrated cloud of anxiety that Harry boarded the Hogwarts Express the next day, the five of them squeezing into the same compartment as him and the conversation stilted all the way back to King’s Cross.
There were three familiar faces waiting when Harry got off at the platform: Mad-Eye Moody, Tonks, and Sirius - in dog form. As soon as he saw Harry, he rushed forward, sniffing anxiously at him. Harry clamped his mouth shut and went over to the other two.
“Potter,” said Mad-Eye gruffly. Both eyes were trained on him, and the magical one stayed watching even when Mad-Eye glanced away to suspiciously survey the crowd on the platform.
The feeling of being watched didn’t go away. Harry went with the three Order members, and his friends went off to find their families and go home. He didn’t get the chance to ask if Hermione or the Weasleys would be at Grimmauld Place again.
As soon as the door closed behind them Sirius leaped out of dog form like it was painful to restrain himself any longer. He grabbed Harry by the shoulders. “Are you alright? Dumbledore told us everything.”
“Of course I’m alright,” said Harry, thinking to himself that obviously Dumbledore hadn’t told them everything. “I know he probably said that I’ve been tricked by an evil spirit, or whatever-”
“That’s not funny,” Sirius said sharply.
“Did he tell you it was probably my mum who summoned Gabriel in the first place?”
“He mentioned something like that, but there’s no way to confirm it yet,” Mad-Eye said. “Until we can, I’m not taking my eye off you and your passenger, Potter. Remember that.”
Harry made a face at him. “At least Gabriel gives me my privacy.”
“Mad-Eye doesn’t mean every second, obviously,” Tonks said with a warning look at the older man. “Even he’s got to sleep sometimes.”
Mad-Eye did not look as though Tonks were speaking for him very accurately.
“Dumbledore will be along later tonight, and we’ll talk about what we’re going to do,” Sirius told Harry, turning his attention away from the two Aurors. “He mentioned he’s been looking into evidence of what Lily might have done.” He looked frustrated. “I wish she’d mentioned something about it to me. I might have been able to help. Or stop her, I don’t know.”
Harry’s stomach twisted a little. He wished he knew anything about his mum and how well she might have been able to do a summoning. “You believe me, don’t you?” He asked Sirius hopefully. “That it was her? My mum wouldn’t have summoned anything that would hurt me.”
“I don’t know if your mum had a way of being sure of what she was getting,” Sirius said quietly. “I know you’re going through a lot right now, Harry, but we’ll figure it out, alright? I’m sure I have some books on possession somewhere in this damn house.”
“Sure,” Harry said, heart sinking.