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Fuck that smarts… Jason could hardly breathe, let alone stand from his spot on the floor of the warehouse he was currently alone in. Well not alone, there were people but they weren’t exactly alive and he was pretty sure he was about to join them in that not so comforting slumber they were currently in.
He almost felt bad for the fuckers because he knew that death wasn’t nearly as soothing a feeling as people wanted to make it seem like. It hurt, it pulled you apart slowly and felt like it dragged you into the ground. It was slow as the parts of your body stopped working, the legs, arms, eyes, ears, mouth, and then the heart. It was hell, actually he was pretty sure hell didn’t even hurt as bad as dying did.
There was a hole in his side and he was starting to feel numb. Maybe he should call someone. Damn no one he can call… no one that would care anyway. Fuck no harm no foul right?
“Call Jack Ass.” Jason told the com he had attached to his helmet. That came off and the com was put in his ear. Fucking thing was making it hard to breathe… harder to breathe.
“Who is this, this is a protected line.” Ah… good old Bruce always worried about his stupid security protocols.
“Aww B,” Jason had to pause to cough, fuck it hurt to talk, “don’t wanna hear from me?”
“Jason? What are you doing?”
“God damnit Bruce. Can’t just fucking accept a call for once?” Jason groaned putting more pressure on the hole in his side. His hand was almost going into the wound by now, damn he was fucked.
“Where are you? Are you injured?” Wait… did Bruce actually sound worried? Oh that would almost be funny if Jason wasn’t like five minutes from dying, again.
“Some warehouse. Fuck if I know B-man. Stopped thinking a while ago. Nah, not hurt… just got a gaping hole in my right side and I’m pretty sure I see stars right now but fuck that’s normal right?” He laughed, or tried to. It came out as more of a garbled almost gurgling sound as blood started to fill his lungs. It hurt too. It hurt a lot.
“Stay still I’m coming to you. Don’t move Jason I mean it.” Now Bruce sounded panicked. Fuck he was hoping for some kind of witty fight they normally had before he died. At least it would make it feel a little more normal.
“Nah don’t bother. I’m a goner…” He started a coughing fit now, blood spitting from his mouth and down his chin and fist as covered his mouth with the hand that was supposed to be putting pressure on his wound. He had too many anyway, that was just the biggest.
“Can’t feel my legs… that’s how it starts.” He mumbled when the coughing died down. “Just as fucking painful the second time around. I’m twenty fucking eight, thought I would at least make it to thirty this time around.”
“Stop talking. You need to conserve energy.” Bruce was flying. He could hear the wind in the com. Jason was almost in Bludhaven. If he wanted to be saved he would have called Dickbutt, but there was really no chance that either of them would get there soon enough.
“No point B. Just called ‘cause some part of my overly fucked mind wanted to…” Another coughing fit hit him and he could distantly hear Bruce cursing. “Wanted to say bye or something. Fuck my head hurts.”
“Jason you’ll be fine. I’m coming to get you.”
“Who are you fucking kidding because it sure as hell ain’t me.”
“Language!” Really that was what he decided to growl at him. About his mother fucking language at a mother fucking time like this!
“Sure as hell isn’t me.” Jason tried with what might be a grin. He wasn’t sure his face was pretty fucking numb at this point. “Y’ know an explosion is way fucking faster way to die. I’d rather that.”
“JASON!”
“Still a sore spot for you?” He asked eyes slowly going closed as he did. Damn it felt too good to have his eyes closed right now. Maybe if he only kept them closed for a few minutes. His arms stopped working minutes ago. But maybe if he didn’t keep them shut long he wouldn’t lose the sight.
“Stop talking I’m coming for you just stay awake Jason.”
“Nah, too hard… hard to breathe too. Guess that’s why you shouldn’t smoke huh? Brat smokes… not replacement brat, your son brat. He caught me and then asked for one. Didn’t say no. He looked relaxed smokin’ almost like a real teenager. It was nice. Should have that more for ‘im.” A loud groan escaped him, fuck he didn’t know he could still be that loud right now.
“Don’ tell ‘im I said nothin’ don’ wanna take it away from ‘im.” He mumbled slowly as he felt his breath start to cut short.
It cuts short, shallows, hollows out. Almost starts to sound like you’re going to start sleeping. But then it starts getting ragged, painful, like a needle stabbing you in the lung. The blood pooling in his lungs wasn’t helping any either.
Bruce was silent, probably too shocked hearing his demon smoked. Jason didn’t think much on it. Couldn’t think much on it honestly.
“An’ tell… tell the ‘placement I never actually want… wanted ‘im dead. Jus’ didn’ know how to handle ‘im. And that he ain’t a bad hero. Pretty fucking good.”
Jason’s voice was fading, it was very clear to Bruce that if he didn’t hurry he may actually lose Jason. Again. He would not let that happen not again. This couldn’t happen. He was saying his last apologies, this wasn’t happening.
“An’ Dick… tell ‘im he’s a ass. An’ that he never done nothin’ wrong. … Always liked ‘im, even when he wanted… brother bondin’. That shits awful. Love Alfred… good man… good food… love him.” Jason hummed his eyes still shut.
Bruce was so close to him but Jason was off. Bruce could hear it, he was sure that if anyone was on the line with him they would hear it too. But he also knew that Jason could hear it and that there were very few people that he could apologize to.
“Jason I’m close just stay with me.” His voice was soft, comforting, or as comforting as his voice could get when he was on the verge of a mental breakdown. Of a breakdown that he’d already lived through once and swore he’d never live through again.
“Nah, I’m gone, it’s good… feel okay now… hurts, hurts a lot but I felt it before. Was quicker the firs’ time though.”
“Hey B… thanks… y’always did okay by me. Tried hard…”
“Jason stop.”
“Nah, took me in, got me clean, off the street with the fuckin’ pervs that loved ten year olds… fucked up people B. Gave me food… nev’ had that much food in my life.”
Bruce stayed silent, he didn’t want to hear this. It made it all too real, that he might lose Jason again. He couldn’t.
“You’re good. Thanks Bruce, never blamed you for nothing’ wish I fucking could. You did fucked up shit… but when you wanted to you were pretty good dad.”
That… that hurt. It hurt for Jason to say it and it hurt for Bruce to hear it but he didn’t stop moving. Not even when he heard the ragged breath in the com stop. Not even when he found Jason, not even trying to stay alive anymore but he was just there by a thread, and started back for the cave. He will not lose him again.
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“Come on Little Wing… you can’t say goodbyes and then expect to be left alone.”
“And I refuse to smack an unconscious man for telling father that I may or may not occasionally smoke.”
“You smoke? Dami that is bad for you what are you thinking.”
“I said may or may not Grayson I am not confirming anything.”
“Guys don’t you think we should give him some space. Bruce said he might wake up today, not that he would and even if he does he won’t be feeling well and he’ll probably want nothing to do with any of us.”
“Don’t be so negative! Bruce said he would wake up and I plan on being here for him when he wakes up from death… again.”
“Will all of you shut the fuck up?! Holy fucking God my head hurts.” Jason grumbled, his voice sounded like hell, he felt like hell… How exactly was he alive right now? He was pretty sure he felt his heart stopping when he was talking to Bruce.
“JAY!” Dick… goddamn was the man ever not screaming. “My brotherly bonding is not awful!” Okay so maybe he was alive… wait they knew what he said. Damnit Bruce what the fuck!
“Dick he just woke up give him a chance to adjust.” Tim said softly pulling Dick back and holding Damian at a distance as well. Apparently he wasn’t joking about smacking him when he woke up lovely.
Then Jason saw him, that jackass in a fucking black turtle neck sweater standing behind everyone else watching closely while trying to make it look like he didn’t care.
“Can’t just let a guy die can you, have to get there at the last second and save his fucking life.” Jason grumbled looking back at Bruce who hardly reacted to being talked to other than taking a step forward with Alfred behind him a tray with what was probably a glass of water on it.
Jason looked at the water like it was the key to life. And with the way his throat felt right now he thought that maybe it was. Alfred let him sip from the class from a straw and smiled softly at him.
“It’s very good to see you awake young sir. You were asleep for nearly four days.”
“FOUR DAYS?!” Jason screamed or tried to but his throat wouldn’t let him and with how loud he was at the moment the felt that he couldn’t stand to try and talk normally right now.
“Yes, Master Bruce brought you back and I made quick work of patching you up with his help and the help of the other boys. You were rather beaten up and honestly next time I expect a call earlier than what you gave. It was hardly enough time for the transfusion to kick in before we lost you for a few minutes.” Alfred said checking the IV and patting his arm gently like a loving grandfather.
“I did die then?”
“For three minutes. I would hardly count it as a credible feat Todd.”
“Thanks Demon, I’ll remember that the next time you want to bum a cig.”
“Why you low life…”
“Damian, Dick, Tim why don’t you go upstairs and find something for Jason to wear?” Bruce suggested with a voice that made it clear it was actually a demand. The three quickly made their way upstairs. Or really Dick and Tim carried an arguing Damian upstairs.
“Now I have to figure out new apologies for the next time I die. Damnit man, can’t just let me die.” Jason mumbled glaring at Bruce as well as he could from his position.
“I swore I would never lose one of my boys again. That included you Jason.”
“Shut the fuck up, your name is still going to be Jackass in my phone.”
Bruce could take that, he really could. He took a step back when the other boys ran down with a bundle of Dick’s old clothes since Jason no longer had any here that would fit him. It was nice to see them all interacting like a family. Even if it took Jason nearly dying to say how he really felt about the group. He wasn’t letting go of this, this family that he’d made for himself.