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Kaeya has been cold, ever since that day.
Years have passed since he was last on good terms with Diluc. It’s so far away that he wonders whether those fleeting moments ever existed at all.
Maybe it did, once. Maybe it meant something back then, when he used to smile with someone he called his brother.
He knows it’s his own fault that the two of them separated and went their own ways. It’s due to his own selfishness that they cannot be family anymore, but what can he do about that now, really? The past cannot be changed; he’s made his choice and he’ll have to see it through until the end.
He remembers the moment he received his vision—two swords pointed at one another. His hands trembling with emotions he’d rather not acknowledge, his weapon drawn for reasons he’d rather not think about. He recalls that specific point in time clearer than anything that happened before or after. The shift in temperature was sudden and all-consuming; he can’t forget it even if he tried. The sharp, unrelenting burst of frost that must’ve caused the room to drop several degrees came out of nowhere, instantaneously. It caught both of them off guard.
They didn’t attack each other that day, but Diluc might as well have stabbed him, considering the way Kaeya felt afterward.
He’s been cold, ever since then.
And now, standing on the shore of Falcon Coast, he can barely feel his fingers. His thoughts are foggy and he’s sure his lips are tinged a blue-ish shade.
He’s always suspected that something was off about him, seeing that no other vision-bearers he knew had to deal with… side effects of their elemental abilities. He’s asked Amber several times before, if the fire she summons onto her arrows ever burns her as she does it. She never knows what he means.
She’s comfortable with wielding her flames, as if it was second nature. There’s a certain familiarity she bears in the way she moves so gracefully, fingers deftly drawing back her bow, lighting up her arrow.
It’s eerily similar to Diluc. The weapons and posture are different, but the nature is the same.
Kaeya feels like a faker. He feels like his cryo abilities weren’t meant for him, because surely, if they were, he wouldn’t have to go through every day pretending as if he actually knows how to use them properly.
The bursts of ice he releases in battle are unstable, and they always leave him aching. It’s powerful, but that’s all there is to it. There is no sophistication or control—just flashiness and bare minimum effectiveness. It isn’t compatible with his body.
It is at times like this that he wonders if he was ever supposed to receive a vision at all.
Can something that was born out of strife truly be valid? He forced his vision into existence, in a moment of need. It was far from natural.
Kaeya should probably head home, he knows. It’s the middle of winter, and nearing sundown. He needs to make reports, tend to his wounds….. but Angel’s Share is calling to him, and he’d honestly do anything for a drink or two, having just returned from clearing out a myriad of hilichurl camps. It wouldn’t be a bad idea, not at all.
What does it matter, if he wastes a little more time?
It doesn’t take any more convincing before he steps inside the tavern. Objectively, it isn’t much warmer in there, but he’s so cold that he appreciates whatever bit of heat he can obtain.
There aren’t many customers at this time. He gazes to his left, looking around at the mostly empty tables, before letting his view settle on—
Crimson eyes meet his own, and suddenly, running in the opposite direction seems all too appealing.
“What are you doing here?” he asks, instead.
Diluc gives him a stern look. “I work here.”
Kaeya takes a minute to process that. He’s really tired. “No, you don’t.”
“Can you think of anything remotely more intelligent to say?” Diluc inquires, leaning his elbows on the counter. He scrutinizes the younger man’s appearance, taking in the sight of his stained clothes and tousled hair. “It doesn’t matter why I’m here.”
“Great,” Kaeya tells him, stepping forward to take a seat at the bar. It isn’t like he expected any different from Diluc anyway. “Then serve me a Death After Noon.”
Diluc doesn’t move, nor does he take his eyes off Kaeya’s clothing.
Kaeya uses this to his advantage. “I know I’m attractive, but—”
Diluc interrupts him by chucking a jacket in his face.
“I’m already wearing my own,” Kaeya states, swiftly collecting the garment and placing it down in front of him. “Besides, it’s freezing today. Keep it; I’m good.”
The other man doesn’t look convinced. “You’re trembling.”
“Am I?” Kaeya’s not stupid, he knows he is. He’s just been ignoring it the entire time. He actually feels quite unwell, and Diluc isn’t exactly making the situation any better by pointing out the obvious. “If you’re not going to do your job, think I’ll be taking my leave now.”
He stands up, and oh—his knees feel weak. A hand grabs his wrist.
“Shit—” he hears Diluc hiss, right as he falls backwards. “Your skin is freezing to the touch.”
He winds up in a set of arms that prop up his full weight. His head falls onto a warm shoulder, and he distantly registers that Diluc sliding across the counter to get to Kaeya’s side, all while being careful not to jostle him too much.
“What happened to you?” Diluc asks, while Kaeya tilts his head to bury his face into Diluc’s shirt. He almost flinches from how hot the contact feels, until he realizes that it’s merely due to the temperature difference between the two of them. Kaeya thinks he’s going to pass out. Diluc brings a hand up to brush his hair away from his face. “Hey. Stay with me.”
Kaeya doesn’t have the energy to respond. He grasps at Diluc’s clothes, his hands fisting the fabric of his shirt as he shakes. He’s so, so cold.
“Di—” he begins.
“I’ve got you,” Diluc mutters briskly, drawing him closer and shifting him around. He places his hands on Kaeya’s back. “Calm down.”
Kaeya doesn’t know what’s happening at first, but then he feels it. The steady warmth emanated from Diluc’s vision.
And for the first time in a long, long while, he allows himself to drop his guard. He exhales, closing his eyes. Diluc’s embrace is safe. Diluc’s embrace feels like home.