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If you asked Suna his opinion on soulmates, he would tell you it’s all quite simple.
Sure, the different bonds and the unknown that looms over fate always leaves him with a bit of a sour taste in his mouth, but that aside, how can anyone question the system? Question the reality that they live in? Soulmates are indisputable. If there is ever an argument on the topic, it’s always about the who or what behind them. Is it the universe? God— gods? Magic? What or who is behind fate? Is Fate an entity in itself? Those are all questions that many scholars or specialists entertain.
Suna, like most of the public, doesn’t bother with all that complicated theory.
He learns about soulmates from his parents and then their teachings are reinforced in school. It’s simple. Everyone has a bond—physical or non-physical— that leads them to a person. That person is their soulmate. Sometimes bonds aren’t easy to understand or decipher. Sometimes soulmate bonds connect more than two people, creating poly-bonds. Sometimes bonds are unbalanced.
Yet regardless, the bond exists. Everyone has a soulmate. It’s simple.
That’s the conclusion Suna reaches after giving the whole concept some thought when he is twelve years old. Then four years later, when he meets his soulmate, he sticks to it.
Suna, unlike his parents and most of his friends, doesn’t have a visible physical soulmate bond, or noticeable non-physical bond. Until the very moment he brushes hands with Tsukishima, he isn’t aware of what type of bond he has. Yet the moment skin touches skin, the moment a smudge of colour appears on his hand— Suna knows.
He feels the pull from the centre of his heart. Bits and pieces of information in his head begin clicking together and there is an unforgettable thrill rushing to his mind screaming at him to look. Demanding him to accept. And Suna knows. He knows what Fate is telling him and it’s simple.
Regardless of the nerves, regardless of the fear of the unknown, Suna does what anyone else would. He calls out his soulmate’s name and rests on the comfort of the bond fate has given him. Tsukishima Kei, is after all everything he didn’t know he needed and more. Fate is simple. Soulmates are simple.
However, his firm stance on the matter won't blind him to the situations around him.
Suna, for the most part, surrounds himself with people with similar values. He keeps the people with any less-than-ideal opinions on soulmates at arm's length. From a distance, he will witness complicated soulmate relationships or unbalanced relationships but that's about it. The situations are never all that concerning and the people involved in them, are hardly people that matter to him.
The Miya twins are probably the first people Suna allows to influence his opinion. Trutfully, they further prove his point.
He met Atsumu first. Suna had walked into his classroom, passing by a group of girls that were muttering to themselves about the blonde in the classroom, only to immediately catch sight of said blonde sitting in the far end of the room, completely ignoring the attention he was getting. Suna could see he was attractive but from the way he sat and the look he wore, he could tell his personality was probably nasty.
That thought was proven right thirty minutes into the class. When the teacher had called out his name for attendance, Atsumu had lazily raised his arm while muttering a here, clearly bored out of his mind. Then ten minutes later when the lesson started, a girl (one of the ones muttering about him) had turned around and asked him for a pencil and if the look of disdain he gave the girl wasn’t enough, the; if I give ya this, what the hell am I suppose to use, response surely sealed the deal. Atsumu was an asshole.
“A bastard. Rotten. Sick, even.” Are the words Suna first hears from Osamu after he sneaks up on him and Ginjima while they are talking about Atsumu.
Suna is momentarily surprised. He takes in the appearance of the guy in front of him and quickly concludes that it’s not Atsumu so who—
“Samu, hurry yer ass! We gotta do laps.”
“Twins,” Ginjima squeaks unhelpfully.
“That’s right,” the not-Atsumu guy says. “I’m Miya Osamu.”
“Suna Rintarou.” Suna is quick to introduce himself, finally over the initial shock of seeing doubles.
“Ginjima Hitoshi.”
“It’s a pleasure—”
“Hurry yer ass!” Atsumu yells from across the gym, interrupting his brother.
“Shut yer trap!” Osamu yells back before he excuses himself and he is gone, running after his twin. From beside him, Suna hears Ginjima let out a breathless wow.
Miya Osamu isn’t like his brother and at the same time, they are completely alike. It is no surprise that even though it's Osamu, Suna calls his best friend by the end of their first year, Atsumu is not that far off from a similar title.
The main reason Suna gets along with Osamu a smidge more than Atsumu has to do with their views on soulmates. All three of them believe and respect the concept, but while Suna and Osamu view it as just another part of life, Atsumu puts a lot more value on the mark he wears.
“I think our parents really brainwashed him on that one.” Osamu once confessed while they walked home from a practice match. The topic was brought up after Atsumu got into a fight with a member of the opposing team for commenting on Atsumu’s shameless display of his mark.
(“I’m proud of it, so what.” Atsumu had stated while rolling his shorts up a little higher to further irritate the guy.
“No one here is your soulmate. Get over yourself.”
Atsumu barely offered him a glance, “aren’t ya just bitter ya don’t got one?”)
“He holds soulmates on a pedestal,” Osamu adds, “it’s not a bad thing but…”
“It’s annoying,” Suna concludes and Osamu shrugs, agreeing with him.
That’s what it comes down to. Atsumu believes in the magic of soulmates and all that other crap that romanticizes the concept more than it needs to. It’s not at all surprising considering his personality but it’s what ultimately gets Suna to trust Osamu with his thoughts on soulmates. Osamu himself ends up sharing about his bond with Suna more than with his brother.
That special aspect of their friendship is perhaps a product of fate since Osamu’s dreams end up leading him to Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima’s best friend.
Suna remembers being a bit overjoyed over the matter. He remembers spending time at night searching up articles about fate and destiny just because everything had worked out so perfectly. Months later, once Yamaguchi and Osamu finally found their pace and began dating, Suna remembers bringing it up with Tsukishima; soulmates are simple. Fate is simple.
Tsukishima had agreed but moments later he wore a sour expression that Suna couldn’t stop thinking about for months to come. Then, sometime during Tsukishima’s first year of university, Suna can’t take the small hints and cautious words any longer. He knows his soulmate doesn’t hold any resentment against their bond, or much-less soulmate bonds in general, so what the hell?
Of course, he doesn’t bring it up like that. Instead, miraculously, Suna manages to find the root of the problem all by himself.
It’s when they are meeting each other's friends and family. At some point, Tsukishima mentions being friends with someone who lives overseas and Suna listens, curious but unconcerned. Tsukishima explains meeting him sometime after the spring nationals his first year and Suna thinks nothing else of it.
But then there are times when Oikawa calls too much or texts too much, and Tsukishima is always on edge; always biting his lip and sighing worriedly. So Suna makes a few connections and pries already having a general idea that this Oikawa person is probably an idiot when it comes to soulmates.
Tsukishima won't tell him anything until after Suna agrees to meet Oikawa. That fact spikes his curiosity even more. They meet through a video call. They don’t talk for any more than twenty minutes but Suna can confidently state he hates Oikawa. He hates his pretty face and sarcastic comments just like he is sure Oikawa hates Suna’s annoying remarks and smug attitude. They bicker a lot and Tsukishima hardly makes an effort to stop them, though at the end of the call he does push Suna away from the camera to seriously ask Oikawa if it’s okay to share his story with Suna.
“Can't keep anything from your soulmate, huh?” Oikawa replies and Suna can’t see his face, but he is sure he probably wears some sort of sad expression. “It’s fine. What’s another person added to the list of people who hate me?”
“There is a list?” Suna asks long after the call with Oikawa has ended. Tsukishima doesn’t answer and instead explains Oikawa’s situation.
It’s absurd. A complete disaster. Blasphemy, even. Right there and then, Suna decides Oikawa is probably one of the biggest idiots he’s met because he can’t believe he is turning something so simple, so easy, into a useless tragedy.
But against all odds, Suna and Oikawa manage to form a weird sort of friendship. They put effort into getting to know each other for Tsukishima but weirdly enough, they do find times when they get along. Oikawa is an awful lot like Osamu and Atsumu and since Suna has learned to love the twins over the years, it’s no surprise he grows a soft spot for that idiot—even though Suna can hardly see past his ridiculous take on soulmates.
As much as he hates to admit it, Oikawa is also a big help when it comes to dealing with his anger and frustration over the endless distance between him and Tsukishima.
Though they met in high school, Suna and Tsukishima failed to plan out their lives together. Instead, they ended up making decisions that always seemed to create more distance between them. In the long run, Suna knows distance won't ever be enough to create a drift in his relationship. Logically, he knows the distance is never more than just a few kilometres that can easily be covered with effort. But on darker days, when the space in his bed becomes too wide or the silence of his apartment becomes too loud— Suna has his doubts.
“It’s simple,” Oikawa will mock when Suna calls him to remind himself that there is someone further away. That there are greater distances than Suna’s shortcomings. “Take the train. Buy a car. Maybe if you play hitchhiker fate will give you a lift.”
Suna tends to hang up more times than he can come up with something witty to say. Oikawa will text him for hours after, joking and mocking him and Suna will let the anger consume his sadness and he will get over it. Then two days later it will be his turn to mock Oikawa for his pain and insecurities. You’re twisted, Tsukishima will comment and Suna knows he says similar things to Oikawa.
It doesn’t bother either of them.
Over the years they continue to annoy each other while seeking comfort from each other. Eventually, Suna learns who exactly are the soulmates Oikawa rejected and the ammunition just gets deathlier. However, when Suna first brings up the name Bokuto in one of his conversations with Oikawa, his face twists in such a way that leaves Suna re-considering what he thinks about Oikawa.
He is not just an idiot. He is fucking insane.
How can someone claim they rejected their soulmates but feel so much towards them? How can someone so openly spit on the concept of soulmates but carry such a stupid yearning expression when thinking of them? How can Oikawa deny himself from what fate has given him, when it’s so clear it’s only a matter of time until his stubbornness explodes back in his face. Oikawa is fighting a losing battle.
“All he is doing is delaying the inevitable,” Suna remembers saying one particular night when he is catching up with the twins and their soulmates. Tsukishima is on the far side of the table in the restaurant they picked, frowning at him disapprovingly even though he chooses not to say anything. From beside him, Sakusa arches an eyebrow before turning back to continue his conversation with Tsukishima.
“Ya think he is gonna cave?” Osamu asks, hands keeping his chin up as he leans over the table.
“You should have seen his face. I don’t think he is ever even met Bokuto but, he is almost as disgusting as Atsumu.”
“Hey!”
Yamaguchi laughs, patting Atsumu’s shoulder. “I don’t think Oikawa-san could ever pull your love-sick expressions.” Suna and Osamu laugh at the look of betrayal Atsumu shoots Yamaguchi, even though what he said isn’t all that insulting.
Atsumu doesn’t look all that annoyed anyway. Though, Suna does end up noticing Sakusa’s tensed shoulders sometime during the night. In truth, if he was paying more attention then maybe he would have picked up on the curl of his lip or the irritation displayed on the furrows on his forehead.
But Suna at the time had other concerning thoughts to focus his time on. Like the fact that Oikawa is the first person to turn something so simple into an endless complicated angsty web of misunderstanding and confusion. Though eventually, Tsukishima does learn more about Oikawa, learns more about his reasoning and Suna learns to be a little more understanding.
Yet, even so, his opinion on soulmates doesn’t change.
It’s easy. Simple.
“I don’t think I can agree with that anymore,” Osamu confesses on the night he finally shares his concerns about his recent dreams.
Suna doesn’t blame him, but either way, he says; “it doesn’t change anything.” Osamu looks at him, his expression showcasing how insecure and drained he feels. Suna feels a bit of anger grow inside him but he tries his best to conceal it. “Samu, it doesn’t change anything. Tadashi is still your soulmate.”
“I know,” Osamu groans, “but there is nothing simple about my situation. Rin, I’m dreaming again.”
“So it’s another soulmate or an unbalanced bond,” Suna remarks. “It doesn’t change what you already have. It doesn’t change what you know.”
“Put yourself in my shoes.” Suna does and his beliefs don’t waver.
“Regardless of how we may feel about the concept, regardless of our feelings, our doubts, our worries— it’s written in stone. Fate is a truth we have accepted. The path may not be a straight one, but it’s there.”
It’s not like Suna believes tribulations, problems, trials, or anything of that matter doesn’t exist. It’s not like Suna is blinded to the hardships of his bond. He is not saying that mistakes are impossible or that difficulties within a bond are nonexistent.
He just doesn’t understand why people make things more complicated than they have to be. It’s simple.
“There is nothing simple about our bond,” Tsukishima tells him while tracing the muscles on Suna’s torso. Suna watches the light blue that colours his skin after every touch and frowns. “It’s been years and we still don’t know what the colours mean.”
Suna rolls his eyes. “Blue is comfort.” He says even though it hasn’t been proven. He reaches to cover Tsukishima hand with his own, stopping it from moving. Their eyes meet before Suna lets go and looks down to spot the red smudge he left on Tsukishima’s hand. “Red is passion. Love.”
“Lust,” Tsukishima mumbles under his breath and that’s enough to ignite Suna’s blood. It’s enough to kiss his soulmate with hunger. It’s enough to trigger his body to move in a way it’s used to when it comes to Tsukishima.
Because Suna loves him.
Because fate has paired us together, he can’t help but think and Suna allows those words to further feed into his unshakable stance on the matter. He doesn’t feel shame admitting that. He doesn’t find fault in accepting that the bond is what allowed Suna the chance to love Tsukishima.
After all, that’s the simple reality of their world. At the end of the race, the finish line is always there. Bonds lead to soulmates. Soulmates are perfect inevitable unions. Love will come in a soulmate bond regardless of the aspects of the relationship.
They are all proof of that. Suna and Tsukishima. Osamu and Yamaguchi. Atsumu and Sakusa.
Even Oikawa and Bokuto and Ushijima. In the end, they figure it out. They work through their differences and they find a common ground. The bond may be unbalanced but it’s there, demanding their attention, demanding their acceptance.
Suna is not surprised when he hears the news through the rumour mill. He is not surprised when Tsukishima begins to share the different ways Oikawa is now being insufferable by learning to love his soulmates. He is not surprised because he doesn’t doubt the truth behind soulmates.
Though Suna won't deny the bit of doubt that enters his mind when he hears about Atsumu and Sakusa.
When Osamu calls Suna on a random Saturday morning, Suna doesn’t expect to hear any of the words he speaks. Suna is left dumbfound. He is completely caught by surprise. So much so that he doesn’t believe him. “It’s true. Rin, I don’t know what to do.” Then almost like a whisper. "He won’t stop crying.”
Suna’s throat clogs before his mind starts to work. But no matter how much thought he puts into the situation, he can’t come up with a solution. Especially not when he finally convinces Osamu to let him talk to Atsumu.
“It’s fine,” Atsumu repeats a few times, closing himself off from any concerned and prying words. Suna can’t get a read on him the entire conversation.
It’s not fine.
“Rin,” Tsukishima warns but moments after he hangs up he dials Komori’s number and demands an explanation.
Komori is silent for a long time and Suna is expecting him to fight back. He is expecting a defence or anything, really. He doesn’t expect Komori to say, “I didn’t know.” Then after a short gasp. “When? When did this happen? I have to— Sakusa hasn’t...” Komori inhales. “I’ll call you back.”
Komori doesn’t call back until late into the night. He then spends most of their call freaking out because Sakusa has completely isolated himself. He won’t answer any calls. He won’t accept visitors. Like Atsumu, he has even skipped two days of practice. Unlike Atsumu, there is no one by his side.
But Suna refuses to feel sorry for him. Not when Atsumu is in the state he is in. Atsumu, who like Suna strongly believes soulmates are simple. Atsumu, who holds soulmates in higher regard than any of them. Atsumu, who has never shied away from displaying his mark. Atsumu, who’s stance on soulmates is firmer than Suna’s.
The thing about Atsumu and Sakusa’s break up is that it’s a different type of rejection than someone choosing to doubt or ignore their bond. It’s also a different type of rejection than a soulmate couple choosing to be apart for political or religious reasons or an organic cause.
It’s different because Atsumu has given up on the relationship. It’s different because Atsumu doesn’t reject his bond. He rejects Sakusa- After having accepted him.
Suna spends a whole day doing research. He looks for cases of people discontent with who fate has tied them to. He searches for keywords, he looks through different periods, he even humours opinions that lean towards conspiracies. In the end, Suna ends up trembling with frustration.
“Why does it upset you so much?” Tsukishima asks, his words short but Suna finds comfort in his bluntness. “Surely it won't end like this. Time can heal all wounds.”
Suna thinks long before he answers. “It’s because of Atsumu,” he offers. “I know how he is.”
“We know people who are more stubborn than Atsumu.” Tsukishima remarks.
“It’s not his stubbornness that concerns me,” Suna explains, the topic tiring him enough for him to slump down his shoulders. “It’s his heart.”
Because Atsumu loves easily. He cherishes what he has. He is thoughtful and caring, even if at first glance it’s not obvious. Atsumu lives an easy life with his heart on his sleeve. Regardless of the stabs, it receives, or the bruises and cuts, his heart firmly guides every step he takes.
How is Atsumu suppose to function when his heart has been shredded to pieces? And how can Suna live with himself knowing that Atsumu’s heartbreak hadn’t happened in a single moment but rather it had been the product of a slow decay occurring in front of their blind eyes?
Suna tries, like Osamu —and Kita and Aran and all their friends— but they can’t get through Atsumu. The first week after his break up he mourns and then every day after that he puts up a front. He claims he is alright and he closes himself off from any reaching hand. He is fine, his teammates claim. Hinata keeps in contact with Osamu while Bokuto often messages Tsukishima, who then informs Suna.
He won't talk to anyone, but he is fine. He is acting fine. He is not letting his break up affect the team. He is even talking and working with Sakusa as if nothing’s wrong.
But somehow, Suna can see through it all. Somehow, he knows things are far from fine.