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SIXTH GRADE
First day of middle school and eleven-year-old Luke Patterson with lively eyes, a contagious smile and a head full of musical dreams decides that the girl that sits at the table in front of him during lunch break is the most beautiful person he’s ever met, other than his mama, of course. He spends the rest of the day thinking about the way her eyes light up like Christmas lights when she laughs, or the way she absentmindedly hums the tune of Love Story by Taylor Swift, or the way her hair looks so beautiful against the afternoon sun. His friends, Alex, Reggie and Bobby, notice him staring at that girl – and they tease him, and Luke denies everything, rolling his eyes, but the blush spreading across his face quickly proves him out to be a big, fat liar. His friends all flash out toothy smiles, and encourage him to go talk to her, and Luke promises that he’ll do so, the next day.
Next day rolls around, and he tells Alex and Reggie and Bobby that he’s going to sit next to her in Literature. And he almost does, believe me – but, at the last moment, he decides against his better judgement and sits behind her, next to Bobby who boos at him. He rolls his eyes and decides to just stare at the back of her head instead, promising himself that he’ll do it tomorrow. He’ll sit next to her tomorrow, and he’ll have an actual conversation with her. He watches Julie raise her hand and answer a question, and he thinks, tomorrow.
Tomorrow comes with a geography test, and he sits in the front, next to Alex, and says, “I have to study, and I think I’ll be very distracted if she’s around!”, but he’s still distracted, this time turning back towards her every five minutes. Tomorrow, he says again. Alex pinches the bridge of his nose.
Tomorrow, the day tomorrow, the day after that – it all passes away, Luke making up one excuse after the other. Finally, a week later, his friends have had enough, and Reggie slips Luke’s notebook in Julie’s bag when she’s not looking.
It has the intended effect. Julie finds Luke at lunch, him sitting with his friends, and gives him a shy smile, tucking a strand of hair, that’s escaped from her braid, behind her ear. Luke looks mortified, seeing his notebook in her hands, and Reggie elbows him, and he finally comes to his senses.
“H-hi!” He manages to croak out, suppressing a thousand emotions inside.
“Hi. I believe this is yours? It was in my bag; I don’t know how it got there – maybe Miss Walker accidentally gave me yours and I didn’t notice? Or maybe you dropped it. Accidentally. In my bag. That doesn’t sound like it’s possible, but it is. One time, my best friend, Flynn, she dropped her water bottle, her new water bottle in Tyler Vishwakumar’s bag – we searched for it for hours, and at the end of the day, there’s Tyler. With the bottle. How crazy is that?” Julie lets out in one breath, huffing when she finishes. Her face has tinges of red on it.
“You’re rambling.” Alex points out.
Reggie widens his eyes. “Oh, are you nervous? People ramble when they’re nervous. Why are you nervous? Now you actually look like you’ll yack in a bowl. You’re almost making me nervous!”
Julie must have looked horrified by then, because, well, she was talking to the four cutest boys in her grade, and one of them has been obsessively staring at her for the past week, too – she wasn’t the one who noticed – it was her best friend, Flynn, who did.
“Will you sit with us?” Luke mumbles out. His friends all grin, proud of him. Julie feels little butterflies in her stomach, and says, “Can my best friend sit too?”
Luke nods furiously. “Absolutely.”
Julie grins.
JUNIOR YEAR
“Julieee!” Luke drags out the ‘e.’
“What?” Julie whispers, annoyed. They’re currently seated in their chemistry classroom, and Luke is utterly bored.
“I’m bored.” He announces.
Julie rolls her eyes. “You promised Emily that you’d focus on Organic Chemistry.”
“I know, I’m the one who promised it.”
“Then, focus!”
Luke huffs. “We already went through this, remember? Last week when I kept pronouncing acetone as ace-tune.”
“We went through what acetone was. Mr. Miller’s teaching reactions – we’re supposed to go through it tomorrow.”
“Good thing I have my tutor, then.” He pokes Julie’s cheek. Julie’s eyes nervously dart to the front of the room, where their teacher still has his back to them, balancing equations on the whiteboard.
She sighs. “You are so annoying.”
Luke bats his eyelashes, feigning innocence. “Who, me?”
Julie shakes her head, a quiet laugh escaping her.
“Hey, I was thinking we could finish that song that we were working on last night.”
“Sure.”
“Cool, I have some ideas. I’ll tell Alex, Reg and Flynn to sit somewhere else so that we can work in peace, alright?”
Julie’s eyes widen. “Wait, at lunch? I thought you meant that we’ll work on it tomorrow when you come over.”
Luke shrugs. “Told ya. I’m inspired.”
Julie shakes her head. “I can’t at lunch.”
He checks what his teacher’s doing (still scribbling) and narrows his eyes at his best friend. “Why? It’s not like we do anything –”
“I promised Nick that I’d sit with him.” Julie blurts out.
Luke raises his eyebrows, widening his eyes. “Nick?! You still have that crush on him?”
Julie blushes, trying to hide behind her hair, and trying to hide the fact that she never actually had a crush on Nick. Well, she did, kind of. But that crush wasn’t as big as the one she has on the boy sitting next to her.
“Uh, no. He asked me, and I couldn’t say no!”
Luke purses his lips, feeling his heart deflate a little. “But we always have lunch together! Ever since I asked you to sit with us that day in sixth grade, remember?”
“Well, we’re all growing up. Alex already sits with Willie on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Soon enough, all of us would have new schedules like that –”
“No, Jules. I won’t. I’ll always sit with you guys.” Luke persists.
Julie shrugs, her posture falling a little. “Well, you say that now. What would happen when you like someone, and they ask you to sit with them?”
But I like you! Luke thinks to himself, a blush immediately covering his cheeks. He pushes the thought away. “I… Even if I did, I’d still sit with you guys.”
Julie raises her brows, not convinced. Luke desperately wants to tell her that he’s already sitting with the girl he likes, scratch that, has been in love with since middle school. He desperately wants to tell her that he’ll always sit with her, even if she falls in love with Nick or something. He desperately wants to tell her how much she means to him, how she’s his best friend, how he always wants to spend every moment with her, how she’s his family and how much he appreciates all that she’s done for him: from always being his shoulder to cry on, to always saving the last, chocolatey part of her ice cream for him.
Instead, all that gets out is, “Fine. Sit with him. I don’t care.”
Julie hangs her head. “Luke, come on, don’t be a baby –”
He raises his eyebrows aggressively. “Oh, I’m being a baby?” Suddenly, he feels an anger in his chest, the same intensity as his feelings for her. “You’re choosing that… that lacrosse playing, academically great, and pretty much perfect… weirdo over m– us. You’re choosing him over your best friends. You’re breaking this group apart!”
She purses her lips, annoyed. It’s things like these that makes her mad. He has no right to be mad at her whenever she hangs out with other guys, especially when the only reason she is doing so is because she wants to get over Luke himself. “Stop it, Luke. I’m sitting with Nick today, and it’s my decision.”
“Fine. We’re done, then.”
Julie scrunches up her face. “What do you mean, done?”
Luke rolls his eyes, trying to hide the fact that he absolutely hates fighting with her. “I mean, I’m done with you. I can’t look at you anymore.”
“Oh, come on, Luke! You’re making a big deal out of this for no – hey, where are you going? Luke! Get back here!” She whisper shouts as he walks to the front of the classroom and takes a seat next to Alex, who is sitting at the very front. Alex looks at him, and then at Julie, and whispers something in Luke’s ear, patting his back. Julie watches as he shrugs off Alex’s hand.
She sighs, feeling like absolute crap.
“Luke, stop it. Please.”
“I’m not doing anything!”
“You’ve been staring at Jules and Nick since they got here! It’s creepy, dude!” Flynn whisper shouts.
“I am not!” Luke whisper shouts back. Flynn breathes deeply, her eyes narrowed, and lips pressed in a thin line. The boy in front of her challenges her stare.
“OK, guys, stop.” Reggie says, banging the lunch table. The trio are currently seated in their usual table – although, their group lacks Alex, who’s sitting outside with his boyfriend, Willie, and of course, Julie.
Reggie turns around in his seat to check what’s Julie doing. “Guys, they’re just talking.”
“Soon enough they’ll be making out.” Luke crosses his arms.
Flynn scrunches up her face. “What is it with you? Why can’t you just tell her that you’re in love with her –”
“I am not –”
“Yeah, you’re really not fooling anyone right now, buddy.” Reggie shrugs.
“Why does everybody think that I’m in love with her? I’m just mad that my best friend is choosing some knockoff Clint Eastwood over me!”
“What?” Flynn asks, confused.
Luke closes his eyes and sighs, annoyed. “Why does no one get it?” He points to his head. “It’s because of his hat – the cowboy hat!”
Flynn stares at him like he’s grown a third head.
“The good, bad and ugly? Come on, Flynn. It’s a classic!”
“Right, Luke.”
Luke sighs deeply. “I hate my life.”
“I even miss her stealing my ketchup, dude.”
“It’s okay, dude. I’m here for you.” Alex pats his friend’s head, who is sitting beside him, his head resting atop his arms which is atop the lunch table, dramatically.
“And she took Flynn, too. I miss her rapping about sandwiches.” He says, but his voice comes out muffled.
“I thought you hated that. I remember you called her a broken radio.”
“Not now, Alex!”
Alex bites his lip, trying to hide his smile.
Reggie leans across the table and grabs Luke’s arms. “Listen, Luke – wow, you’re really muscular! That’s not the point, okay. Listen – I wanna eat my pizza in peace, without you whining about Jules. So, please. Just tell her that you’re in love with her.”
Luke lifts his head and opens his mouth to deny the last part, but he remembers the time he told Alex and Reggie how much he loves Julie after him and Julie had spent the entire day together at the beach, and she had even gone swimming with him – she is absolutely terrified of water – just because she wanted to cheer Luke up. (Bobby had left their band that week – Sunset Curve, tell your friends, or rather, not – to sign a solo contract with a label. Luke had been pretty pissed. And sad. Mostly pissed, though.) (Oh, wait. Ex band. Luke’s now in a band with Reggie, Alex, and Julie – Julie and The Phantoms. Tell your friends!)
“No regrets, Luke, right? Isn’t that your catchphrase?” Alex says. Luke sits up. Alex continues, “What if you eat a really bad hotdog and die tomorrow, Luke? Then you’ll never get to tell her how you feel.”
“No one dies of a bad hotdog, Alex.”
“That’s not the point.”
Reggie pipes in. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
“Uh, she could never talk to me, again?”
“At least she’ll know. And, come on, everyone at this school knows you guys ooze chemistry.”
Alex scrunches up his face. “You should never say ooze again, but, yeah, I agree. Everyone can see the way Julie looks at you.”
Luke sighs, and a sudden burst of confidence takes over him. No regrets.
He pushes his chair backwards as his friends cheer him. With his chin held up high, he walks over to the table where Nick, Julie and Flynn are seated. When he sees her, he feels a pang in his chest – they haven’t talked in a whole freaking week.
He reaches their table and the trio look up at him, Nick and Flynn offering him smiles. Julie just stares at him, an unrecognizable expression on her face.
Luke clears his throat. “Julie. Hi.”
“Hi, Luke.” She breathes out, suddenly feeling nervous. She’s never felt nervous around her best friend before – he’s one of the very few people around whom she is completely comfortable. Maybe it has to do with the fact that they haven’t talked in a week, and Julie misses him so, so much. They’ve never gone this long without talking, and in the past week she’s realized just how deep she cares about him, just how intense her love is for him.
They stare at each other for a while, neither of them daring to break the silence that’s suddenly engulfed the table.
Flynn looks between them. “Guys?”
That breaks Luke out of his trance, and he feels like throwing up. His stomach is in knots, and he suddenly feels hot and breathless. “I –”
No regrets.
No regrets.
No regrets.
Julie starts speaking, “You wanna go outside? We really should talk. Shouldn’t we? I mean, I think so. I don’t think we’ve ever gone this long without speaking. Have we? Uh, the last time we didn’t speak, which was for two days, was when you broke my favorite clip. Remember? I think that was in –”
“I’m in love with you.”
Instinctively, Julie’s eyes widen, and she looks at Flynn, who has the same expression on her face, except that a large smile is blossoming on her face. She notices Alex and Reggie walking over to their table, and Nick, oh god, Nick – he’s currently pursing his lips, looking between the two of them.
“What’s going on here? You guys look really weird.” Reggie says.
“Luke here just told Julie that he’s in love with her. Julie. Julie, you should say something.” Flynn nudges her friend.
Julie shoves her hands in her jeans pockets and stands up. “Uh, I – I – need to… the washroom. I need to use the washroom!”
She runs of the cafeteria, five pairs of eyes following her.
“Luke, go after her, you idiot!” Flynn slightly shoves Luke as he nods frantically, running after her.
As the remaining members at the table watch the two of them run off to god-knows-where, Flynn rests her head on Alex’s shoulder as Reggie says, “That was awkward.”
Nick nods. “Very uncomfortable to watch.”
Alex, Reggie, and Flynn simultaneously look at Nick, them forgetting about his presence. Alex opens his mouth to provide an explanation, but Nick swats his hands. “It’s okay. I figured out that she’s into him yesterday. Everyone can see the way they look at each other.”
“Julie! Jules, please!”
Julie stops at the sound of Luke’s voice. She still feels queasy as she turns around to face Luke in the basketball courtyard where they’re currently standing.
Luke walks up to her, hesitation evident in his every step. “Hear me out, please. I might die of a hotdog today.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Look, Julie, you’re my best friend and I really don’t wanna lose our friendship, but I can’t hide what I feel for you anymore. I’ve been in love with you since middle school, and I’ve tried, so hard, to fight it, but I can’t. You’re the smartest person I know and you have the most amazing voice, and you’re the most beautiful girl in my life and you’re the nicest and I really should have written this before or something. You – I can’t even imagine my life without you, Jules. There’s no one else that I wanna sing with onstage, or write songs with, or bake cakes with on Christmas eve or have a dance party with or… you get the point. Just, please, don’t shut me out.”
Julie’s eyes soften, and she whispers. “That was all over the place.”
“I know. I should’ve written it first.”
She smiles and takes a step closer to him. “Do you remember the song that I wrote last year? Perfect Harmony? The one you found in my dream box?”
Luke nods, his heart clenching. It’s about Nick, he thinks to himself.
“It was about you.”
“What?” He feels his heart beat faster.
“It’s you, Luke. It was never Nick or anyone.” Julie takes Luke’s trembling hands in hers.
“Really?” He whispers.
“It’s always been you, Luke.”
“Two worlds collide when you’re with me?”
Julie nods.
“I set you free?”
She nods, again.
“I’m your brightest burning star?”
She blushes.
“I put rhythm in your heart?”
She laughs, “Luke!”
He laughs, too, untangling a hand from hers to tuck a curl behind her ear.
“I’ve been in love with you ever since you asked me to sit with you that day at lunch, Luke.”
He smiles, feeling completely euphoric.
“We wasted so much time, Jules.”
She shrugs. “Probably.”
“Will you go on a date with me, Jules?”
“I would love to.”
He cups her face in his hands as Julie looks at him like he put the stars in her world. He leans forward, and so does Julie, and their lips meet halfway in a kiss that's long overdue.