Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

In the CIA Tower, tucked back apart from all the action but close enough to reach it within a few nanospans, was Narvin’s office. Leela could walk to it with her eyes closed. Sometimes she came to get a mission briefing, sometimes just to talk, or other times, like now, to relay some words from Romana that were better delivered in person rather than over communicators.

But as Leela approached the office, she was surprised to see someone other than Narvin standing outside of it. 

“Ace?” 

Ace jumped so quickly that something from her hand fell to the ground with a metallic clink. She snatched it up quickly and then turned to Leela wide-eyed, putting a hand over her heart as she breathed out a long sigh of relief. 

“Oh, Leela, it’s just you.” 

“What are you doing here? Where is Narvin?” 

Ace innocently clasped her hands behind her back. “He’s away for a couple hours, checking some kind of security measures somewhere.” 

Leela examined Ace’s posture; she was trying too hard to be at ease. “That still does not explain what you are doing.” 

“Just…making sure he remembered to lock up!” She pressed the button for the door and nothing happened. “There you go, safe as houses.” 

Now it wasn’t just her posture, but her wide grin that also gave it away. “Ace,” Leela said, incriminating her with a single word. 

Ace deflated, slumping her shoulders. “Okay, fine. I’m looking for the coffee.” 

“Coffee?” Leela had a vague recollection of the Earth drink. Romana and Narvin drank it sometimes, but she’d never taken much notice. 

“Narvin shows up with it every morning! I think he does it just to torture me.” 

“He will not share any with you?” 

Ace shook her head. “When I asked him, he just laughed and said no.” 

Leela considered for a moment. She didn’t condone sneaking around and breaking into offices, especially if it was Narvin’s, but if Ace was being wronged…

“This drink is important to you?” 

Ace’s expression softened. “Even just the smell—it’s like a little piece of home.” 

Compassion flooded through Leela. She looked into Ace’s eyes, wondering if she was truly clever enough to bring up the one thing they shared here that no one else did: they were far from home. If Leela could have some kind of remnant of her own home planet, wouldn’t she do anything to get it? 

Leela crossed her arms. “You are trying to trick me.” 

“Leela,” Ace moaned, spreading her arms helplessly. “Please? Narvin won’t even notice. We’ll put everything back just how it was.” 

She knew Ace. She knew that no matter what she promised, this would probably mean trouble. 

But, if Leela was being completely honest with herself…she was pretty bored. 

Leela sighed, giving in. “Your sonic screwdriver will not work on this door, or any others in the Capitol.” 

Ace groaned with disappointment, bringing her sonic screwdriver into view and frowning down at it. 

“But there is another way.” 

Ace grinned. 

Leela showed Ace how she’d seen the panel surrounding the door control taken off and some of the wires within moved about to open a locked door. She didn’t know specifically how it worked, but Ace didn’t seem to be bothered by that. 

“Ah, yeah!” Ace exclaimed cheerily as she stared into the mess of wires beneath the panel. “It’s sort of like hot-wiring a car!” 

Leela had no idea what that meant, but Ace seemed to know what she was doing as she stuck her hands inside. A spark shot out and Ace pulled back quickly, exclaiming in pain. 

“Ace! Are you all right?” 

Ace sucked on one of her fingers and nodded, turning back to the panel. “What I do for coffee,” she muttered to herself, reaching back into the panel. It took another minute or two, but finally, the door slid open. 

“Yes!” Ace exclaimed, pumping her fist. She went inside and stood in the middle of Narvin’s office. Her head turned as she seemed to examine every inch of the place. “Shoulda known someone like Narvin would have a boring office.” She cradled her chin in her hand thoughtfully. “If I was coffee, where would I hide…” 

“The space is small; it should not take long to search. Perhaps in here?” Leela touched a large metal box with handles. 

Ace shook her head. “Filing cabinet.” She frowned, then knelt by Narvin’s desk. She pulled out a couple of drawers until—

“Aha!” Ace drew out a cylindric plastic container and then some kind of contraption after it. “Jackpot!” 

“What is this ‘jackpot?’ I thought you were looking for coffee.” 

Ace chuckled. “No, this is coffee, and a coffee maker to brew it with.” A manic grin lit up her face. “Leela, this is the start of a beautiful day.” 

Chapter Text

Iceworld. 

That was where Ace’s mind went when she took a long whiff of the rich smell wafting up from her mug. She’d been too young to appreciate coffee when she’d left Earth, but fending for herself on Iceworld had been a different story. Coffee had been like gold there. It had cost a fortune to get a single cup at the café she'd worked at, and she had perhaps contributed to the inflated price herself. She would always go in early to work under the pretence of sprucing everything up for the day, when really she'd nick a precious cup or two of coffee and gulp them down before anyone noticed. With the way she'd been treated and the minuscule wages she’d been paid, she’d figured she deserved it.

"Ace!"

She shook herself from her memories and saw Leela staring out Narvin's office door. “There is someone coming.”

Fear seized Ace’s heart. "What?" She hastily put a lid on the coffee grounds and switched off the coffee maker. “He’s not supposed to be back yet!”

“Never fear,” came a voice that was definitely not Narvin's. 

Ace paused and breathed out a relieved sigh. "Brax, it's just you." Ace fell into Narvin's chair with a huff. "You could have given us a warning; I almost just had a heart attack!"

"My apologies,” Brax said, stepping into the office. “I simply thought you might need these." He held up a jug of creamer in one hand and a little glass container of sugar cubes in the other.

Ace grinned. “I thought we'd have to drink our coffee black!” Ace jumped up and grabbed the items from Brax. However, after a moment of thought, she stopped and stared at him. “But how did you know?”

"No time to explain. Now, I'm off to a galaxy very far away from here.” He nodded genially at both of them and then walked away. 

“Ace, what has Braxiatel given us?" Leela asked. 

Ace set the creamer and the sugar down on Narvin’s desk beside the coffee maker. Leela peered over her shoulder as Ace gestured grandly. “This, Leela, is what really makes coffee, coffee. Narvin drinks his coffee black—goes with his hearts, you know—”

Leela cracked a smile at that. 

“—but normal, sophisticated humans like us drink coffee the right way, by adding cream and sugar. Let me show you.” She handed Leela the mug she’d already filled for her. “Take a sip of that.” 

Leela sniffed and wrinkled her nose, then took a tentative sip. Her entire face scrunched in distaste as she slammed the mug back down on Narvin’s desk. “Narvin drinks this—this poison?” she exclaimed, staring at it like it was the root of all evil. 

Ace chuckled. “Yep. Now you know why he’s so sour.” She added a few sugar cubes—no, better make it five, she thought, recalling Leela’s love for sweet things—and looked for something to stir the coffee with. She frowned, gazing at Narvin’s desk. Some kind of thin, pen-like stylus sat over to one side. Ace picked it up, testing its weight. With a shrug, she dipped it into Leela’s mug and stirred it around. She added a little French vanilla creamer and gave it one final quick stir before handing it back to Leela. 

Leela took the mug slowly, watching Ace uncertainly. 

“It’ll taste way better this time, I promise.” 

Leela took a small sip, eyeing Ace all the while. When she pulled the mug away, there was a huge smile on her lips. “This is good!” 

“Ha, see?” She quickly fixed up her own mug and extended it towards Leela. "Cheers, Leela!"

Leela stared at her with a confused frown. With a chuckle, Ace took Leela's mug and guided it to gently collide with her own. 

It still didn't seem to enlighten Leela. "Why do you do that?"

Ace shrugged. “Dunno, it’s just a thing we do on Earth.”

Leela shook her head. “Earth traditions are silly.” Yet, she smiled and said, “Cheers, Ace!” 

They both took long sips of their coffee. The taste was something like home, like childhood, like innocence and long, boring days all wrapped into one. Until that moment, Ace hadn’t realised how much she’d missed just having something familiar. Ever since she’d left Iceworld with the Doctor, every day had been completely brand new. But this, just the taste of coffee, was like the last shred of normalcy she could ever hope to have. 

“Ace?” 

Once again, Ace caught herself daydreaming and found that she’d been staring down into her mug. 

“You look sad,” Leela said, staring deeply into her eyes. “Is this not what you wanted?” 

Ace swallowed. There was something so ancient and wise in that look, something penetrating that made Ace feel like Leela could somehow read all of her thoughts like a book. A look like the Doctor’s, Ace thought. 

Ace took another sip of the coffee, mostly to hide her expression but also because she was hoping that the caffeine would kick in soon and boot this sudden melancholy mood. 

“Just thinking,” she said innocently. She nodded at Leela’s cup. “Come on, you’d better drink it while it’s hot. Lukewarm coffee is the worst!” Ace took another long gulp of her own coffee and smacked her lips, letting out a satisfied sigh. 

A voice came out of nowhere. “Deputy Coordinator Narvin, I—”

Ace looked up and met the gaze of Agent Bence, a rather shy CIA agent with whom Ace had gone on a couple of missions. She grinned at him and held up her mug. 

“How about some coffee, Bence?” 

Standing still in the doorway to Narvin’s office, Bence ran a hand through his short shock of ice blonde hair, a nervous habit of his. “Did- Did you break into Narvin’s office to steal his coffee?” 

“You bet.” 

“He has been hoarding it all for himself,” Leela said solemnly, cradling her now empty mug. 

Bence laughed nervously, but there was a twinkle of amusement in his eyes. “I, er…I’ve never actually had coffee before.”

“Come on in and try some. I’m sure there’s another mug around here somewhere…”

He held out a hand. “That’s all right, Ace. I’d better not. I wouldn’t want to be you when Narvin finds out.” 

“He will not find out,” Leela said. “We will be finished before he returns.” 

“All the same, Lady Leela, I appreciate the offer, but I am on duty.” He raised an eyebrow at Ace. “Aren’t you, too?” 

“Nope! Day off.” Ace finished off her coffee with one last swig. She stood and reached for Leela’s mug, preparing to pour them both another cup. 

“Lucky,” Bence muttered. He let out a long sigh. “This has got to be one of the most uneventful days I’ve ever worked.” 

Ace looked up at him, setting down the coffee pot. “Really?” An idea started to form in her mind. “You know, it doesn’t have to be that way.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Narvin isn’t here. Romana’s stuck in meetings all day. I say we liven things up a little.” 

“Yes, I like this plan!” Leela exclaimed, standing beside her. 

Ace cupped her chin in her hand. “I’m thinking…music. Leela?” 

Leela grinned widely. “There are drums on Gallifrey?” 

“No, but…” Ace turned to Bence. “You categorise the wardrobe, right?” 

Bence frowned, eyebrows furrowing together. “Yeah.” 

Ace felt the faint itching of the caffeine buzz, the feeling like she could do anything at that moment. She plopped back down into Narvin’s chair. “Then after another cup—or two—of coffee, I think I have an idea.” 

Chapter Text

Romana rubbed her temples as she made her way to the CIA tower. With all the reform Livia was trying to put in place, she’d been holding frequent meetings with the High Council and the top officials from the most instrumental organisations in the Capitol. Romana was glad to be included as Coordinator of the CIA—the last thing she wanted was important planning going on behind her back—but even so, the endless debates, discussions, and prolonged speeches by members of the High Council grated on one’s nerves after a while. 

As her feet carried her mindlessly through the well-trodden path to the tower, one fact consoled her weary mind: the CIA was likely to be quiet today. There were no major incidents to handle, no missions that were being carried out. It would probably prove to be a rather dull and boring rest of the day, but rather dull than taxing. 

A distant noise pulled Romana from her thoughts. It was unusual—deep, rhythmic, with the vibrations making the entire tower shake. A thought instantly came to Romana’s mind, but surely it couldn’t be…music?

She quickened her pace to the top of the tower and slowed as she approached the entrance. The sound had been growing louder and more distinct all this time, and now Romana could distinguish lyrics shouted to the backdrop of a rock band. Earth music. Through the open door, she could see a dim atmosphere where coloured lights shone at regular intervals to the beat of the music, highlighting fragments of the scene inside.

Romana came to a halt, irritation, weariness, and confusion all warring for the dominant emotion. She could leave. She could forget she ever heard anything and go to her rooms and rest, leaving Narvin to take care of…whatever this was. 

Suddenly, Ace’s voice blasted above the music, obviously amplified through some kind of microphone. “And the winner is Leela! Again! Er…Leela, you can let go of him now.” 

Romana beat her forehead into her palm. “Rassilon help me,” she muttered. Treading lightly and trying to remain unobtrusive, Romana poked her head in the doorway. 

She needn’t have bothered. 

The lobby was crowded with CIA agents, many standing close to the wall and looking uncomfortable. Others were laughing and talking, and even fewer were dancing to the music. There was a space cleared in the middle of the room where Leela was standing above a CIA agent and laughing—or perhaps “cackling” was the more accurate word—with a note of triumph as the man walked away wincing and massaging his neck. 

“C’mon, who wants to take on Leela next? Don’t tell me you’re all chickens!” Ace’s voice boomed throughout the room and Romana spotted her off to the side, talking through a microphone attached to a speaker. She held a small device in her hand, and as she tapped a finger to the screen, the current song faded out and changed to a new one. She lifted her head and beamed a self-satisfied grin, reaching for a mug that sat atop the speaker. 

But…that was Narvin’s mug. For coffee. 

Oh, no. 

Romana turned and walked straight out without being noticed. She gathered her thoughts for a moment, then used her communicator to contact Narvin. 

“Romana,” he answered instantly. “I’m just on my way back—”

She cut straight to the chase. “Did you give Ace access to your coffee maker?”  

A brief silence followed. “What? No, of course not. Romana, where are you? What’s that noise in the background?” 

“I’m at the CIA tower, where there is a party taking place, with music, lights, wrestling—” Romana took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. “And Ace and Leela are in the middle of it all. Ace has your coffee mug.” 

“Oh. Oh no.” His breathing suddenly sped up and Romana imagined he was running. 

“I’m expecting you to handle this, Narvin. Immediately. And afterwards, you and I are going to have a chat about your coffee stash.” 

“I’ll be there right away.” He gasped in a breath. “I’ll get to the bottom of this.” 

“You’d better.” Romana ended the call and pinched the bridge of her nose. She started a brisk walk back the way she’d come, her headache throbbing to the beat of the music fading out behind her. 

Chapter Text

Narvin was a bundle of nerves as he sped through the tower. 

The loud bass that was resounding all throughout the building, the edge in Romana’s voice when she called him, the innate sense that something very bad was happening—they were all compounding within him so that by the time he arrived at CIA headquarters, he was positive that what he’d find would be on par with Gallifrey being invaded. 

And he was nearly right. 

Before him was a party, just like Romana had said, but seeing something so raucous and undignified happening in the heart of the Celestial Intervention Agency was more than Narvin could even begin to comprehend. Ace was handing out coffee to people and taking pictures on a primitive communication device. Leela was nowhere to be seen, which worried Narvin even further. 

It was…it was obscene.

Narvin straightened to his full height, filled his voice with every inch of indignation he was feeling, and called out in his sternest tone, “Ace!” 

Chatter in the room ceased instantly. Several pairs of wide eyes fixed directly onto him. The whole room froze apart from the blaring music.  

Ace grinned and swiftly pushed Narvin’s own coffee mug into the hands of the nearest unsuspecting agent. “Narvin! Good to see you back so early! In the mood for some coffee?” 

“I’m not in the mood for any of this. What in the name of Rassilon is going on here?” 

“Well…” Ace’s grin grew strained and she glanced around the room as if looking for help, but all of the other agents were subtly backing away from her. Some had retreated from the room entirely, but they weren’t the ones Narvin was worried about. 

“There wasn’t much going on today,” Ace said, “and morale was looking kinda low, so I thought I’d liven things up a bit! You know how important Romana always says morale is—”

Finally, Narvin’s anger and frustration burst out of him. “That’s not good enough! Did you even think about what you were doing? What if there had been a crisis? What if there had been a surprise visit from the President? Romana and I—do you know how much trouble we could have been in?” 

Ace hung her head, but it didn’t soften Narvin’s emotions. “Turn that blasted music off,” he ordered. 

Ace mumbled something like, “Yes, sir,” and shuffled over to the speakers. As soon as blissful quiet reigned once more, Narvin spoke to the rest of the room. “This is all over right now. I want everything cleaned up in no more than twenty microspans. Ace, you’re coming with me into my—”

Suddenly, he was interrupted by a battle cry. 

Leela sprinted into the foyer, cradling a standard CIA-issue staser. Before Narvin could even begin to understand what was happening, she spun around quickly and fired off a shot at an agent that was just behind her. They went down instantly and Leela cackled with glee. As she turned back, she spied Narvin and grinned. 

“Narvin! Would you like to join our game? The Doctor and I played laser tag on Earth once; this is not the same, but we turned our stasers to stun and moved furniture to use for cover. It is very thrilling!” As she finished, a few more agents with stasers entered the room. Leela, somehow sensing them, turned to face them. 

“Leela, wait!” Narvin said, rushing forward. 

But it was too late. She fired off several shots in rapid succession, felling all of the agents. Narvin could only watch for a moment, stupefied. Laser tag. With stasers. 

“Leela!” he called, using a tone he wasn’t sure he’d ever used with her before. Sure enough, when Leela looked at him, her expression was affronted—but Narvin knew he wasn’t the one in the wrong here. “Both of you,” he said, looking between Leela and Ace, “in my office, now.” He strode directly toward his door, ready to finally be in a place that made sense. 

Ace’s voice called behind him just as he opened the door. “Narvin, I wouldn’t—”

Confetti exploded all around him, getting in his face, piling on top of his head, sticking to his robes. He stood there, shocked, before brushing himself off and turning to glare at Ace. 

She shrugged, but managed to look a little guilty. “I tried to warn you.” 

Narvin’s blood felt like it was boiling. He’d been looking forward to a nice quiet afternoon after all the work he’d done this morning, not…this. 

He stood at his office door and pointed inside. “Get. In,” he growled.

Ace hurried in like a reprimanded puppy while Leela still managed to retain her pride, though she’d discarded her staser. “Narvin?” she asked as she entered. “What—?” 

“Not another word!” He closed his office door and took a moment to inhale a deep breath, trying to regain some semblance of calm. When he spoke again, his voice shook with barely controlled anger. “I have never seen the CIA reduced to such—such idiocy! Would either of you care to explain how and why this came to happen?” 

Ace stepped forward, avoiding his gaze. “It was my fault, Narvin. I really wanted some coffee, so I broke into your office.” 

“And I helped you to do so,” Leela said, standing by Ace’s side. “If there is blame to be had, then it is mine to bear also.” In contrast to Ace, Leela didn’t look defeated in the slightest, especially as she trained a look onto Narvin. “And it is yours to bear too, Narvin.” 

“What?” 

Leela perched on the edge of his desk. “You taunted Ace with this coffee. You knew she treasured it, and yet you continued to drink it right in front of her. That is not fair.” 

Narvin spluttered. How could it be possible for Leela to turn the tables so quickly when he was the one who was trying to fix this mess? “That’s no excuse!”

Suddenly, a gentle snore entered the conversation. Narvin turned his head and saw Ace leaning back against the wall, her chin tucked into her chest, fast asleep. 

Narvin just stared. Leela was accusing him, Ace was asleep. They were supposed to be in trouble, and yet he found himself at a complete loss. 

Leela yawned loudly. “I am also feeling very tired.” 

“Oh, no,” Narvin said, desperate to regain control. “You don’t get to rest until I’ve had my say.” 

“‘M not part of your CIA,” Leela said, her words slurring together as she leaned her head back against the wall. “Cannot tell me what to do…” And by the end of the sentence, she was asleep too. 

Narvin stood in the door of his office as Leela and Ace filled the tiny space with snoring. What could he do? 

After a couple microspans of just standing there, Narvin grabbed his coffee maker and coffee grounds, found a clean mug, and retreated to Romana’s office, locking the door behind him. 

Chapter Text

When Romana walked into the CIA tower again after regaining a tiny bit of her sanity, she was nearly convinced that the party had been a dream. Everything was in its place and the lights were out, allowing the space to be filled by the vibrant hues of the sunset shining through the window. Romana strode by the glass and took a moment to admire the beautiful scene.

A long time ago, she’d vowed never to take that sunset for granted ever again. 

Eventually, she moved on and made her way to her office. However, a noise coming across the hall from Narvin’s office gave her pause. She looked inside and stopped short, unsure whether to laugh or sigh. 

Ace and Leela were both snoring, fast asleep—Ace on the floor, Leela on Narvin’s desk. There was no sign of Narvin. 

After spending a few moments trying to make sense of the scene and then realising she didn’t have the willpower left to do so, Romana turned to her own office where light shone through the window on the door. 

Narvin was the only other person with access to her office. 

She touched a panel beside the door and it slid open soundlessly. 

“Romana—ow!” 

Narvin was underneath her desk, rubbing his head with one hadn’t and tightly gripping a mug of coffee in the other. The strong scent was thick in the air, making Romana instantly feel more alert. 

“Narvin? What are you doing under my desk?” 

He stared at her, opening and closing his mouth like the ridiculousness of it had never occurred to him. “It just seemed like the safest place to be,” he decided on, taking a long sip of coffee. 

“Ace and Leela?” she asked, nodding back at Narvin’s office. 

“Crashed while I was in the middle of reprimanding them for making the CIA look ridiculous. Leela claimed that it was all my fault for drinking coffee in front of Ace.” 

Romana nodded. Somehow, none of that surprised her all that much, but something still had to be done to ensure this was only a one-time occurrence. 

She let out a long sigh, eyeing Narvin’s coffee. “Do you have another cup?” 

After retrieving another mug from Narvin’s office and pouring herself a strong cup of coffee, Romana lowered herself to the floor in front of Narvin. It was silent for a moment as they both sipped on their coffee like it was the essence of life.

“Narvin,” Romana said eventually, “this can’t happen again.” 

“I know.” He lifted his shoulders slightly in a small shrug. “I’m just enjoying the coffee while I still can.” 

With the caffeine energising her, Romana felt her mind starting to wake up. “Maybe there’s a better solution than banning coffee altogether.” She tapped a finger against her mug, thinking. “What Ace and Leela did was insanity, of course, but in a way, they were right. Maybe we should share with them.” 

Narvin’s eyes widened. 

“We can limit it to one cup per person, set it out in the mornings. I think it would be generally appreciated by everyone—we might even get more done.” 

Narvin grimaced. “Are you really sure that’s wise?” 

“We might as well try, or else get rid of the coffee.” 

Narvin’s face turned a shade paler. “I suppose you may be right. I’ll keep an eye on Ace.” 

“And I on Leela.” When Narvin’s expression remained troubled, Romana managed a small smile. “Oh, cheer up, Narvin, you’ll still have your coffee.” 

“Yes,” he muttered, taking another precious sip, “but at what cost?” 

After a long nap, a throbbing headache, a thorough chewing out, and a promise to “never act so irresponsibly again,” Ace was back to work the following morning. As she entered the tower, she was surprised to see a little table set out with Narvin’s coffee machine, paper cups, creamer, and sugar. 

Ace grinned, looked around to make sure no one was watching, and promptly prepared a cup. She wondered where all this stuff had come from, but she figured she just shouldn’t question it. 

As she downed the coffee in record time, Ace noticed a sign at the end of the table that read “one cup per person.” Ace paused for a moment, shrugged, and laid the sign facedown on the table. 

And then she made herself another cup.