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Summary
It's not as if you didn't want to go see Jim, you very much so wanted to. Knowing that he was pursuing you drove your crazy. He'd told you that first night that he thinks about you; you wondered what he thought about doing to you. But that entire thought process was the problem. You couldn't keep feeding into these selfish desires. You weren't sure if there was anything you could do to make this up to Clarissa. How would she react when she found out? You knew the longer you waited, the longer you let this go on, the worse it would become. The more you spoke to James, the more attached to him you got. You hated that it was more than the stupid crush you had when it all started; you were actually starting to like him. And that only made it worse.
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