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When Penny woke up, it didn’t feel like waking up. It was more like she’d just suddenly jerked back into a conscious awareness of her surroundings, like she’d woken up with her eyes already open. She was also standing up, which was strange considering she’d never sleep-walked before. What was even stranger was her surroundings. It was the lab at the compound… but that had been destroyed in the fight with Thanos. Something was off about it… it was like the edges were fuzzy, the counters and cabinets almost seemed to glow with an unrealistic sense of perfection.
Penny tried to figure out the last thing she could remember. She’d been… fighting? Yes, she’d been fighting Beck! And he’d hit her with a train and she’d passed out. This must be some kind of illusion cage! Penny realized. Her train of thought was interrupted by a familiar voice calling out from behind her.
“Kid!” Penny whirled around to see a familiar man standing behind her, arms open and a smile on his face as if he was simply greeting her after a long day of work.
“Mr- Mr. Stark?” she stuttered in a whisper. No. He was dead. The man gave a nod.
“I told you I’d always be there for you, didn’t I?” Penny scoffed.
“Why do hallucinations always have to be so fucking cryptic?” She grumbled.
“Who said I’m a hallucination? I could be a ghost.” Tony said the last part with a hint of sarcastic ominousness in his voice. Penny rolled her eyes.
“I don’t believe in ghosts.” She stated firmly. She didn’t have time for Beck’s games.
“You know like three wizards and you don’t believe in ghosts?” Penny elected to ignore his question, choosing instead to focus on getting out.
“You can drop the illusions Beck, I’m not falling for it.” She called out to no one.
“Illusions? Kid, what-“
“Just stop!” She yelled, cutting him off, “You aren’t real!” His expression went from startled to sad as he looked at her.
“Kid… what the hell happened to you?” His voice sounded heavy as he spoke. Penny shook her head and turned away from him, placing her hands over her ears.
“You aren’t real! You aren’t real!” She repeated loudly, almost as if trying to convince herself. Tony took a step towards her and placed a hand on her shoulder, but she scrambled away, certain that this was just another one of Beck’s drones. Tony pulled his hand away quickly.
“I-I don’t-“ Tony faltered, “I’m real kid.” Penny was silent for a moment before she responded, still facing away from him.
“You died.” She pointed out, her voice hard from grief.
“Yeah… I did. I’m sorry-“ Penny cut him off with a scoff.
“You’re sorry?” She asked, shocking even herself with the bitterness in her voice. Somewhere deep inside she knew it wasn’t his fault, that it wasn’t fair to blame him. He hadn’t chosen to leave her. But in a way, he had, and right now that was all she could think. “You died!” She repeated, raising her voice and whirling around to point at him in an accusatory manner. “You died and I didn’t and I’m alone!” She was screaming, tears were streaming down her face. “How could you just- just leave me! You saved me and you saved the world, but you’re gone! It should have been me!”
“No!” He stopped her, shock and pain coloring his face, “Penny… it… it couldn’t have been you.” Penny knew that was true. It all just felt so… cruel.
“I miss you...why did you have to go?” She whispered painfully, fully aware she sounded like a child but not caring.
“Kid… I missed you every day for five years. I couldn’t… I couldn’t do that again.” He explained, eyes downcast. “It was hell, after you died. I was so lost in grief… I was obsessed with bringing you back. Then Pepper was pregnant and I… I tried to stop, for Morgan. I couldn’t. I couldn’t rest until both of my daughters were safe.” Penny’s eyes widened as they met his. His daughter.
“I feel so… angry… all the time,” She admitted, voice breaking once again. “I’m angry at you and Thanos and myself and the whole fucking world, and It’s like- like I’m on fire and I can’t- can’t stop it or fix it because you’re gone and I can’t fix it!” Penny rambled through her sobs. She was on her knees now, crying into her hands. Tony stepped forward once again and this time she didn’t back away. He kneeled in front of her sobbing form and placed a hand on her shoulder.
“I never wanted that for you Penny.” He replied sadly, “After my parents died… I was angry at everyone all the time. I shoved people away and I… I hurt people. I felt so alone some days I thought it might swallow me whole… I’m sorry Penny.” Penny leaned forward, pressing her forehead against his chest as he wrapped an arm around her back.
“It feels like there’s a hole in my heart.” She choked out. Her voice was too small and too painful and just wanted to be okay again! He pulled her a little closer until he was fully holding her, and she continued crying.
“I know… I’m sorry.” It was all he could say as she clung to him, crying and begging for it to hurt just a little bit less. Someday it would. For now, he just held her.
After a few minutes of crying in silence, Penny whispered again.
“Your daughter?”
“Yeah Pen. I- I love you like a daughter. I’m sorry I never told you that before I-“ he cut himself off, not wanting to upset her further. Penny simply nodded her head in response.
Suddenly a third voice could be heard, it sounded distant and it echoed across the lab in a strange way.
“Kid? Wake up kid.” Penny lifted her head from his shoulder and looked around.
“Wha- what’s happening?” She asked anxiously. Tony smiled at her sadly.
“We’re out of time.”
“What?” Penny shook her head as more tears reached her eyes. The strange white glow of the lab seems to be getting more intense.
“I love you.”
“Please- wait!” She pleaded to no one, just wishing she could have one more moment with him, “I love-“ She was cut short when the white grew again, enveloping the lab in its glow, and then for a split second there was nothing.
Penny shot up, nearly flying out of the chair she was apparently sleeping in, the movement caused pain to flare up in multiple parts of her body and she practically collapsed back into the chair. Was she still on the train?
“Kid!” The voice yelled again. It took Penny a moment to focus her eyes and realize the voice belonged to Happy Hogan, who was kneeling in front of her with a concerned expression.
“Are you ok? What the hell happened?” He questioned worriedly.
“I… I saw him” Happy’s expression morphed from concern to confusion, and she elaborated, “Tony… he was there in my dream… he told me he loved me.” Happy's expression softened into a sad smile.
“He did kid, he loved you so much.” Happy assured. Penny nodded in response, becoming suddenly aware of the tear tracks that stained her cheeks. Had she been crying in her sleep?
“I miss him.”
“I miss him too, kid, everyday.” He gathered her small hands in his larger ones and gave a comforting squeeze before helping her up. “Come on, let’s get you fixed up.”