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Klaus closes his eyes and decides right then and there that he will not waste a single tear on this. When he goes through those doors, he will be defiant and bold and sure of himself. He will stand up to his father. He will not be labelled or brought down. There's a thing... and while he doesn't really have words for what he feels, he feels it very strongly. And he will not have his father bring him down.
He sighs to himself and opens the doors to his father's study. He expects to be met with anger. He expects the kind of stern lecture he's been given countless times before. (When he pissed in dad's gas tank, when he stole his liquor, when he locked himself in the bathroom for hours and hours to avoid training... the list is long).
"Sit down." The mildness of Hargreeves voice surprises Klaus. It's not loving, exactly, but the boy knows not to expect kindness here. That's what mom is for. No, the tone is just indicative that this isn't the start of a typical angry lecture and he's not sure if that should alarm him.
He doesn't want to sit, though. Standing up, he's a little taller than his dad sitting behind his desk. And he wants to be defiant. Sitting down would be the first loss in this battle.
"Sit down." A little more emphasis, a little more pressing. Hargreeves doesn't even look up as he speaks.
Klaus sits down. Already he feels his defense strategy crumble.
His father looks up then and glances him over. It feels like being scrutinized. He shifts uncomfortably and pulls the skirt down a little so it reaches over his knees. His father hasn't yet said a word, but the silence is even worse.
"I just like how it..." the boy begins, hesitant. So much for standing up and being sure of himself. It's those cold dead eyes. They pierce his soul. Klaus continues while his father remains silent. "Allison can wear trousers and no one bats an eye... I just... I liked it." He can't put it in words. He doesn't really know why he has to defend wearing it, beyond the fact that he likes wearing it. To him, the question is about as absurd as 'why are you wearing a button-up shirt?'. It's just... something he likes wearing.
"You jeopardized the mission," Hargreeves finally speaks.
"For wearing a skirt?" Klaus is appalled and the words fall out of his mouth. He's about to protest this absurd claim when his father interrupts him.
"Number Four," Hargreeves says. The firmness in his voice shuts Klaus up. But there is something in his father's eyes. Something... soft? Klaus finds it hard to recognize it. "You are part of a team and as a team you must function as one. Your uniform plays a part in cementing that unity. Variations divert from that message."
"They were bigots," Klaus blurts out, angrily.
"Yes. They were." Hargreeves agrees with him and it's the strangest thing he's ever heard. "The world is full of bigots. But when you wear a skirt to mission, Number Four, you draw attention to yourself. And anything that draws attention to the individual jeopardizes the mission and the team. There may be no ego during missions. There is only the Umbrella Academy."
Hargreeves has become a little more agitated, but he calms himself down before he continues speaking. "Your uniform is like your mask - it is in fact a part of it. It is meant to strip you - all of you - from a personality. Personalities are a liability. By wearing your uniform the way you did today, you gave your enemy a peek behind your mask, thus rendering you vulnerable to manipulation and opening the door for them to hurt you on a personal level. It weakened your position and it weakened the position of the team. You are fortunate there were few consequences today. Next time you may not be so lucky."
He pauses to check if Klaus has understood. Klaus nods quietly. "There are enough dangers out there as it is. I will not allow you to add to that by wearing your fads on your sleeve."
"It's not a fad..." Klaus protests. He doesn't know how to explain how strongly he feels about it. He doesn't even know how describe what he feels at all. But he knows and he feels and he wishes he had words because this is so more to him than a whim.
It's quiet for a moment, but then Hargreeves gives one firm nod. "Self-exploration is a valuable and admirable thing," he says. He turns to his bookshelves and takes down three books. He puts them on his desk with a little thud, right in front of Klaus. "Read these. They will help you understand who you are."
Klaus frowns.
"Human life comes in many variations," Hargreeves explains. "All variations are precious. No need to hide from it, no need to shy away from it. Become your own person. Explore. Experiment. Discover."
Klaus is still frowning. It sounds almost... kind. He never expected to hear this from his father. He thought he would be berated and belittled. Instead he's getting... encouragement?
"So... if I want to wear eyeliner..." he asks tentatively.
Hargreeves doesn't answer. He only nods, curtly. It's not derisive, just matter-of-fact. "But. During missions you will wear a mask and you will wear your uniform and I will hear nothing more about it."
Klaus nods. "I will."
And it's fine. Klaus gets it. He doesn't want to jeopardize his brothers and sister. He will give Vanya back her skirt and ask for his pants in return. He'll wear his uniform and he will not ever dispute it again. But at home... At home it's fine.
And that feels kinda great.
