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Parting, in reality, was never so satisfying and romantic as in his novels. Life had a far sharper pen than an author, and most times, things didn’t make much sense. What should have been wasn’t, for no reason beside fate, if that was to be believed in. Perhaps that was part of why he’d spent so much of his life engrossed in literature, in fantasy, in a story where he could exert control-- or the author could, at very least.
Six years ago, almost to the day, Chongyun sat with him in the fields off the beaten path to the north of Liyue. From where they sat, they could see the entire harbor. It had become a favorite destination spot for them. They met there often; sometimes they brought a picnic, sometimes just books, sometimes nothing at all.
Chongyun had news that day. News that he'd be traveling across the world of Teyvat. He was joining Aether and two others from Monstadt that Xingqiu hadn't really met-- a girl named Klee and a young man named Razor. The way Chongyun told it, Klee was as ecstatic as she was destructive with her bombs of fire. Razor didn't offer much in conversation, but he was wicked with his blade and no man or beast could hope to compare.
Xingqiu had met Aether a couple times since he first arrived in Teyvat. He liked him. Aether was kind and had already done much for Monstadt and Liyue both to earn his title as their hero. He'd spent a few years away in his travels, but when he came back through, he knew precisely who to look for.
Chongyun was excited, and he let himself feel it more than he had in the past. He saw an opportunity to build his skill and to prove he was as good an exorcist as his family, worthy of their ranks, and not just by the stroke of luck (or misfortune, if you asked him) that was his congenial positivity.
Back then, he hadn't known how long he'd be traveling. None of them did. Perhaps it'd be months before they returned to Liyue. Maybe years.
Xingqiu wished he'd known back then how long it would be, even just to keep to himself. Perhaps that would have helped, perhaps not. Sometimes he thought having a finite date would be a blessing, but others he realized that it'd make the time passing by feel so much slower.
That was six years ago.
It was a warm spring night in the harbor. Xingqiu sat next to his brother, across from his father, at a table in a private room at Xinyue Kiosk. He sat perfectly straight, hands folded in his lap. His expression was rehearsed and perfected. It was exactly the right balance between calm, regal, and composed.
His brother and father were talking business, and while his outer image reflected no cracks, not a single misstep, he only heard and processed about half of the words being spoken, maybe less.
"... have risen considerably since your venture into Monstadt, which gives credence to your proposal for Inazuma…"
Xingqiu hadn't really said anything all night. He'd given his greeting, said 'thank you' a handful of times, and ordered his supper. That was all. As the second heir, he was a ghost. He was seen and not heard, but prepared in case he needed to step in and take over. This had been his normal for some time, now. He'd transitioned from an active role tangentially related to the guild to a passive one at its very core.
"... benefit us with the upheaval of the Fatui and the rulership of Snezhnaya. It won't be long before the change there is felt even here in the harbor…"
He focused on his breathing. It was something to do that helped pass the time. He had long corrected any fidgeting while sitting in silence, and had retreated to his own mind instead. He'd go over a good book he had just read, or perhaps a list of things he needed to do in the coming days. Whenever he had a letter from Chongyun, he spent days reading and re-reading it, trying to decide what exactly to say in return, and rewriting the message until it was just so. If he was otherwise indisposed, like now, he'd do so all in the theatre of his mind.
He also worried that his letters would reach his friend. Not all his letters did, when the adventuring party moved from city to city. Still. It was important that each be perfectly written, perfectly sealed. If he had only so few words that would reach the exorcist, he would make sure they were perfect. Perfect took time and careful, detailed consideration.
"... Grandmaster Varka appointed his successor, which would be the reason for this delay. As we all suspected, his choice was the Dandelion Knight…"
Xingqiu had tried to date in the time the two had been separated, but nothing lasted. He gave an earnest effort to court the daughter of another noble family, as was his father's wish. She was kind, well read, poised… even Xingqiu's brother joked about the marriage that would ensue. It hadn't happened that way, though. They tried, but they didn't fit together the way Xingqiu longed to fit beside someone, to feel like he complimented someone else, and that they made a better pair than the sum of their individual selves.
She hadn't felt a spark of joy, either, though she genuinely enjoyed his company. They remained friends, but called off their engagement together. They met weekly, sometimes more, to read. For two noble children, the pleasure of an uninterrupted quiet afternoon was second to none.
He'd also dated a warrior in the Guhua clan, but that was far shorter lived. Their attraction to each other was quickly poisoned by other emotions and clashing personalities. They did not stay in touch.
He wondered often if Chongyun had experienced as much on his travels. Xingqiu had been completely unable to forget him, unable to let the exorcist escape his mind. He wondered if Chongyun felt that way, too.
He knew he was in love. He knew he had been for some time. He also knew that it had been even longer that Chongyun had been away, plenty long enough for change. It hurt him to imagine that they both had changed too much, that their next meeting could only be heartbreak.
"... traveler returned to Liyue. The Qixing met with him in Yujing Terrace. It's been some time since he was last in the region…"
Xingqiu blinked. He had missed quite a bit of the conversation, but mention of the traveler caught his attention. He shifted in his seat. Please, please, mention his name. Say the name he needed to hear.
"... said he was still doing work in Fontaine, but that it brought him back to Liyue. Xingqiu, you were acquainted with Aether, were you not?"
Yes. Aether. That was exactly what he'd hoped for. For a second, he forgot to reply, and his composure very briefly cracked. He cleared his throat. "Yes, father. I met him some time ago, in the months preceding the Fatui's attempt to summon Osial, the ancient god."
Xingqiu's focus was back to the room around him. The sky had darkened even more out the windows. Their dishes had been taken, and now, all that was left behind was hot tea.
"I remembered so," his father said. "Didn't one of your friends from the harbor leave with him? The exorcist you spent so much time with."
A curt nod. "Yes, father. That is correct."
Xingqiu's brother took a long sip of tea before he addressed his brother. "I'd ask that you speak with him. Aether," he said. "Perhaps he has news of the change in the world. He always seemed to be in the middle of things while he was in Liyue, and that would be valuable information for me."
Xingqiu lifted his tea to his lips to buy him a moment to think. He kept getting hung up on the idea that he was being asked to go visit Aether, which means he would see Chongyun. That both delighted and terrified him, and he was certain he'd forget the initial intent. "I'd be glad to, brother. Have you heard where they might be staying while they spend their time in the harbor?"
His brother nodded. "The southern district, though I'm sure much time will be spent in the jade chamber with the Qixing."
Xingqiu nodded in understanding, and fell quiet again. The rest of the conversation went unheard as he instead thought of what might have become of Chongyun and Aether after all their time apart. He was still and poised, completely silent, for the rest of their supper meeting.
Xingqiu was happy to peel away from his father and brother when he saw familiar faces on the patio at Xinyue Kiosk.
He'd recognize that red head of hair anywhere. Childe was here, slouched in his chair with his legs propped up on the chair next to him that was vacant. Zhongli sat tall to his opposite side, sipping what was probably Osmanthis wine as he listened to the Snezhnayan spin his stories. Childe noticed Xingqiu first, and his smile grew brighter.
"Well, look who it is! It's been a while," he said. "How are they treating you in the guild? Okay, I hope? You do know an ex-harbinger. I can hide bodies."
Xingqiu laughed. "Oh, no, master Tartaglia. Things are quite alright as usual. I trust your return to Snezhnaya was restful?"
"Oh, not at all." The redhead laughed again. "I think I got too used to the heat and the humidity. Going back home was a rude awakening. And now that my siblings are older, it's constant motion. I don't think I slept a wink until I was back on my way here."
Zhongli smirked into his tea.
"I hope you've been able to recover. I imagine you have to some extent; you seem as amiable as ever, master Tartaglia."
Childe nodded, then gave him a quick once-over. Xingqiu was wearing a blue coat with delicate embroidery on every fabric panel. It was decorated in blues, a touch of light green, white, and gold. He wore perfectly tailored slacks and formal shoes with intricate gold heels, and spats for good measure.
"I like this look," Childe said. "New coat? It's very you."
"It harkens back to what I wore when I was younger," Xingqiu replied. "It seems my taste never changed too terribly."
Childe grinned. "Well. It does suit you."
"If I may," Xingqiu said, folding his hands. "I would like to know if either of you have seen Aether and his company. I've heard that they returned to the harbor."
The redhead's eyes lit up, and he sat up straight, swinging his legs in front of him. "Aether? Back in Liyue?"
Zhongli cast Childe a side-eye from over his wine. "You must not demand a rematch with Aether now that he's returned, love."
Childe tilted his head. "I must demand a rematch with Aether now that he's returned. Got it."
The archon sighed with a smile. "At least let yourself finish recovery, first."
"Maybe," Childe said. "I'm not one to miss a perfect opportunity."
Zhongli put down his wine to look to Xingqiu. Everything about his eyes, his expression, his smile-- were warm and relaxed. "You'll find them at the Wanmin Restaurant if you go shortly. If I recall correctly, their meeting with the Qixing should have ended just after sundown, but I anticipate that it went a bit longer than they intended."
Xingqiu visibly relaxed, and his smile turned more genuine. It was reflected in his eyes. "Thank you, master Zhongli. And-- master Tartaglia?"
"Mm?" The redhead looked up.
"I would like to meet with you sometime soon, whenever your availability permits. I imagine there's much to discuss regarding our business interactions."
"You know it." Childe smiled. "Look forward to it. I'll send you a note or something, and if you need me sooner, you can always drop by Northland."
"As is my pleasure," Xingqiu replied. "I deign to leave your company so abruptly, but--"
"Go," Childe said. "Go see them."
Zhongli nodded. "I agree. Do drop by to visit with us any time you like."
"Thank you," Xingqiu said, and bowed to the both of them. "Until we meet again."
Xingqiu climbed the stairs up to the Adventurer's Guild desk. His heart beat loud in his ears, and it took real control not to look back at Wanmin Restaurant every few seconds. The adventuring party wasn't there yet, but he trusted Zhongli's words. He figured it would be better to look at the commissions board while he waited. It wasn't out of the ordinary for him due to his connection to the Guhua Clan, and it was something to do.
Hm. Hilichurls here, a Samachurl there. Sightings of an Abyss Mage somewhere in Jueyun Karst-- likely one of many. A request for rare materials, a request to deliver a package all the way to the Dawn Winery in Monstadt.
This was all just as normal. Life was the same, so absolutely the same as the last several days and weeks. It was jarring to think that such an important day was also an ordinary one.
Xingqiu was both relieved and terrified when he heard a familiar shriek of pure, unadulterated joy.
He turned to look towards Wanmin Restaurant, and sure enough, Xiangling had made that shout. Chongyun and Aether were standing at the counter, now. Klee was with them, and Razor was… ah, there he was. He was towards the back of the group, keeping to the shadows he could find.
Xiangling came running out of the kitchen and jumped into Chongyun's arms as he was barely prepared to catch her. Still, he managed; with one arm under her knees and the other under her shoulders, he spun her around twice in turn before he set her back on her feet.
She also made a delighted noise as Xingqiu saw her nearly tackle Aether to the ground. There was laughter and conversation all around.
Xingqiu forced himself to calm, putting together his porcelain composure. He went down the stairs from the Adventurer's Guild and crossed the street to meet them.
Klee was a teenager, now, and while her outfit was different, she still sported a signature red dress with cream lace underneath, knee-high boots and leather gloves-- plus a matching beret and backpack.
Razor, Xingqiu noted, had features that had grown sharper, more refined. He didn't seem to be paying anyone much mind, at the moment.
Aether looked like a prince. His soft features, his glowing smile, his poise-- everything about him seemed otherworldly. That was because he was, Xingqiu thought.
Still.
That left Chongyun, who seemed so much like Xingqiu remembered. His icy blue hair, his soft blue eyes… His outfit was different, too, but still bore the stylistic delights of Liyue. He cut almost the same silhouette.
Xingqiu felt small standing next to them. They were already chatting eagerly with Xiangling, and it struck Xingqiu like a bolt of lightning that he didn't belong. He was interrupting.
He started to step back, to try this again later, when Klee's eyes met his. "Hey~!" she chirped, "Is that Xingqiu I see?"
She knew his name. Or… remembered it, and it startled him. He opened his mouth to reply but was very quickly overwhelmed by Xiangling's enthusiasm.
"Xingqiu! I feel like hugging you. Can I hug you? I saw you like, two days ago, but this feels like a reunion."
All she needed was Xingqiu's slight nod and she swept him up into her arms, lifting him easily off the ground. The dark blush that splayed over his cheeks and jaw would be difficult to rid himself of, and his heart only beat faster.
"Of course, milady. I'm always glad to see you." His voice, even to himself, sounded so small. So nervous. He was beginning to realize how much his composure had fallen, and that was making his nerves even worse.
Aether reached out an arm to pull Xingqiu in a much gentler hug. "It's so good to see you," he said. "It's been so long since we fought together. Are you well? How have your days in Liyue treated you?"
Xingqiu couldn't think of an answer. A generic one, a rehearsed non-answer, would do. "Well," he said. "I stay quite busy with my work for the guild. I couldn't wish for more. I hope your travels have treated you with the same kindness, my liege."
Klee bounced at his side. "Can I have a hug too? I'm not sure if they all warned you, but I'm a hugger."
Ah. Chongyun had mentioned that in one of his letters.
Xingqiu barely was able to say "of course" before she squeezed him around the middle, pressing her face into his chest.
This was a little - okay, a lot - too much. Xingqiu wasn't used to it anymore. He had been once, but he had gone too long without practice.
He snapped back to the present when Chongyun touched his hand. "It's good to see you," he said, softly. "I've missed you."
Oh, those words. It nearly set off a waterfall from the second heir, but he held it back. Restraint, restraint, restraint.
"I've missed you terribly, my knight," he said. "I hope you've planned ample time to stay in Liyue. There's much I have to tell you, and I wish only to hear everything you have to say."
"I'd like that," replied the exorcist. "Have you eaten? We were about to."
Xingqiu nodded. He was completely unaware of whatever Klee was doing to rile Razor up, or what Aether and Xiangling were talking about. His focus was only on Chongyun. "I have, but I'd be glad to join you."
Xingqiu sat between Aether and Chongyun at one of the tables next to the restaurant. Aether and Klee were weaving tales as they took turns chowing down, and every so often, Razor and Chongyun chimed in with a nod, an affirmation, or a correction. Stories of massive beasts, of new creatures great and small-- of their feats of magic through their visions (or in Aether's case, his lack thereof.) Each country in Teyvat was completely different from the rest with their own cultures, cuisines, architecture, traditions… and Klee gleefully explained her favorites. Six years was a long time, but in that time, she'd gathered enough material for years of retellings. Xingqiu, at one moment, considered that he should've taken notes. He wouldn't have been able to keep up with her, though. If she wrote a tome she'd have to speak much more slowly and ideally not skip back and forth as she forgot and then later remembered details.
Xingqiu noticed that Chongyun hadn't ordered something frozen, like he used to. He still asked Xiangling to hold the jueyun chilis, but this was… different. Something to think about for the navy-haired swordsman.
Their food had grown cold by the time things started to settle. Razor was yawning, and every so often, he'd do a full body stretch that was reminiscent of how canines stretched, just on a bipedal person instead. Klee was growing tired and was no longer able to really tell stories, rather just share inside jokes and anecdotes as they crossed her mind. Aether had almost fallen asleep on his hand.
The party had determined to turn in and get some rest. They'd been busy for some time, and they were overdue for a day to relax and recover. Razor was the first to wander away from the restaurant, and Klee followed behind after assuring Xiangling that she'd be back the next day to talk more. Aether brushed past where Chongyun and Xingqiu were standing together along the street.
"You two staying up?" he asked, scrubbing at his eyes to will the sleepiness to wait just a bit longer.
Xingqiu looked to Chongyun, aiming to follow whatever lead the exorcist set. Chongyun nodded. "Mm. We have plenty of catching up to do. I'll join you three later on."
Aether smiled. "Sounds good. And-- Xingqiu. It was really good to see you again," he said. "If you have half a mind to, please spend some time with us while we're here. I noticed you didn't really get a chance to say anything at dinner, and… well. I need to get caught up with you, too."
Xingqiu nodded sagely. "Of course," he said. "I'd be glad to, my friend."
Aether's smile only grew, and a certain softness made his eyes glitter under the lantern lights. "Good. Well… you two catch up. I'll see you later."
Aether turned to follow along behind Klee and Razor, jogging lightly to catch up with them. Xiangling was preoccupied with closing down the restaurant, which left the two alone.
For a second, neither of them moved. Xingqiu was trying to will himself to say something, but it kept getting caught halfway out of his mouth.
Chongyun finally offered an elbow, with his hands in his pockets. "I know where I'd like to go," he said.
Xingqiu held around Chongyun's bicep with a delicate touch. "Lead on, my knight."
The two strolled through the harbor at a casual pace. Chongyun intended to breathe it all in. He'd been away from home for too long, and by the look of his expression, it brought him great relief and peace.
"The harbor hasn't changed much since you left," Xingqiu said. "If anything, I would say that we've entered a new phase. New young ones with visions took our old places, and now we assume roles that others have moved on from. Liyue continues as it always has."
Chongyun breathed a contented sigh. "It does seem that way," he said. "Do you miss it? The time when we were younger."
"It would be a lie to say I didn't, to some degree. Those days hold a certain fondness in my memory. All of our fellows were close at hand, back then, and now… it seems we've all drifted to our own fate. Certainly, we haven't lost love for each other, and that is made clear by nights like this. Fate guides to and away from each other. And yet-- there is a melancholic sense, knowing as we do now, that our paths will diverge once more. When we were young, we didn't consider such things, at least not as frequently."
The exorcist bobbed his head. "And there was less to divide us, then," he offered. "The more we experience, and learn, and feel…"
"... the more potential for strife," Xingqiu finished. "Right?"
"Right."
Xingqiu sighed. His gaze passed over the shops as they went towards Yujing Terrace. Seeing others enjoying one another, talking, trading, felt even more like home. It didn't shake the sinking feeling that Xingqiu had, though, and the anxiety that was still swirling deep in his psyche.
He took to watching the fish in the ponds alongside the walkway, once they passed through the first gate. The silence between them had once been comfortable, but it wasn't, now. The longer the quiet lasted, the more Chongyun felt like a stranger.
"... I missed you,” Xingqiu said, voice small, gaze focused on the stone on the path beneath them. “Truly. Everything I said, I suppose it can be simplified thus: I miss you and the others. And I regret that I did not go with you."
Chongyun frowned. He kept a lazy pace. "I missed you, too," he said, softly. "I would have enjoyed your company, but at the time, you needed to be here. In Liyue."
Xingqiu's shoulders sagged. "I know," he mumbled. "I suppose either way I would have been missing pieces." He looked up to meet Chongyun's eyes. "Are we then incompatible? Would it be so that fate could only bring us misery?"
"I don't believe fate to be so fickle," Chongyun said. "What we choose to do influences our fate as much as our circumstances confirm it."
Bubu Pharmacy was nearly empty as they passed by. Qiqi sat on the stairs at the entrance, watching the finches as they pecked along the ground under dim light. Time had passed over her, it seemed, for she was the same as she had always been to them.
As they reached the bridge that connected Yujing Terrace to the mountains to the north, Xingqiu sighed. "I see, now," he said. "You've picked a lovely place."
Up on the hill, off the beaten path, was their grassy knoll. This was the spot where they had shared books, and picnics, tales and woes. Something deeply hurt to be here.
Xingqiu stopped when they reached it. Chongyun seemed surprised, but he halted, turning to face his oldest friend.
Xingqiu's eyes stung, and his face felt hot. To the abyss with this, he needed to speak his mind. His actual mind. The words he withheld from every letter, the ones he wouldn't dare speak aloud, as if saying them could ruin their promise.
He drew his hands away from Chongyun, holding them together in front of his chest. His voice warbled, and once this was done, he'd be able to be embarrassed by that for the rest of eternity.
"I-- Chongyun," he said. The weight of Chongyun's name on his tongue was finally lifted, but relief had not yet come. "I love you."
His voice rapidly started to degrade as his thoughts spilled out unfettered. He was all too aware when tears gathered, when the first fell. Hydro was his element, after all. "I l-love you. I have for a long time, and I only knew for sure once you were gone. I've wanted to see you so desperately, but as soon as I heard you might have returned, I felt joy and dread in equal measure."
His eyes were locked on Chongyun's, and that was a particularly cruel torment he'd done to himself. Chongyun looked shocked, Xingqiu saw clearly. His eyes wandered, looking for answers, but there were no more to be found. All had been laid bare.
Chongyun relaxed, and his expression returned to one of calm. He gently put a hand on Xingqiu's hip, then the other underneath his chin.
The swordsman tasted something warm and sweet, mixed with the salt of his own tears. He gasped a breath as he extended his hands to rest against Chongyun's chest. They were almost the same height, but Xingqiu would've been a tad shorter without his heels.
"What…"
Chongyun shook his head. "What of Hualing?" he asked, softly. "I thought…"
Xingqiu squinted, still trying to catch his breath. "She-- she's fine. She's likely at home. What do you call on her for?"
"She surely would be upset to know of this. Of me."
"No, no," Xingqiu said, leaning closer. "No. I've shared grand stories of you with her. I'm sure she holds you in high esteem."
Chongyun started to pull away. Oh, archons, no. No. That was the opposite of what Xingqiu wanted. "My knight--"
The exorcist shook his head. "I ask you not to be beholden to me," he said. "Not when your wife awaits you at home."
Oh.
Suddenly, things made a lot more sense.
The swordsman choked on a breath as he started to laugh. Cry? Both. He laughed, and sobbed, and heaved his breaths, putting a hand over his mouth. He was shaking.
Chongyun was utterly confused. "... I don't…"
He couldn't help but close the distance again, though, offering his hands to stabilize the swordsman again. "I don't understand."
Xingqiu took a deep, shaking breath. He was a right mess, and later, he'd be grateful no one else had seen. "No, no," he said, hoarse. "Chongyun, I never-- we never wed. The engagement was annulled. We remain as steadfast friends, but I-- I am not betrothed. To her, nor anyone. And my heart--"
The swordsman gasped against Chongyun's lips as the exorcist kissed him. This time, it was deeper, more deliberate. They were pressed together, so close, and a soft warm haze overtook Xingqiu. This was what it felt like to fit with someone, to know without any shred of doubt that they matched.
When Chongyun pulled away, he knelt down to sit in the grass. Xingqiu followed his lead, sitting beside him as he scrubbed the tears out of his eyes. "I can't believe it," he mumbled. "Perhaps the most important piece of information lost in a letter never delivered."
Chongyun breathed a laugh. "All this time I thought… you might imagine what I thought."
"All this time I thought you'd found someone else. If the world sees you as I do, your heart, your eyes, your determination, your ferocity-- I was certain others loved you as I do."
"There was only ever one I returned the feeling for," Chongyun said, and draped an arm around Xingqiu's middle.
"There was only ever one for me," Xingqiu replied. "Forever my knight."
Chongyun turned to press light kisses to tear-stained cheeks. "If I'd have known…"
"Archons above," Xingqiu breathed. "What was it that you spoke of fate? That it was as much our actions as circumstance?"
The exorcist nodded. "Something like that."
“I’d like to personally file a complaint about these circumstances,” the swordsman said, and he felt his heart flutter. He cradled the exorcist’s face in his hands.
Chongyun leaned against one of his hands. His smile was everything Xingqiu needed.
In a whisper, “... but I think, in time, I can be forgiving.”
Xingqiu buried his nose in the crook of Chongyun’s neck, wrapping his arms loosely around the exorcist as he let his eyes fall shut. It’d take some time for his composure to return, and later on, he’d rewrite many of the scenes from their reunion when retelling it.
That was later, though, and later was far from either of their minds. For now, it was only peace.