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Ellie rushes out of the church, and she leaves Dina still a little dazed on the side of the dance floor. She watches as Joel follows after her and Seth slinks out the back door with Maria gripping his arm tightly like he’s a misbehaving child.
None of it matters, because she’s focusing on the positives, and holy shit, she kissed Ellie.
And Ellie kissed her back.
It hasn’t exactly been the night she dreamed of, sure- maybe in a perfect world Ellie would’ve stayed afterwards so they could talk, and maybe Seth wouldn’t have been there, and maybe she would be a little less sweaty and gross (because all jokes aside, she knew she really didn’t smell that good right now)- but damn, what more could she really ask for? The girl she’d liked for nearly a year now had kissed her, and her smile right afterwards was bright enough to light Jackson on fire. Dina hadn’t even had the sense to smile back at her, too thrilled and starstruck to think of anything at all. She hoped Ellie wasn’t reading too much into her expression.
God, it was almost life-changing.
She finds her way to the makeshift bar, where Jesse is standing, looking cool as ever. When he sees her, he grins and raises an eyebrow.
“That looked like it went well.” He offers her a glass, which she gladly takes. The important part of the night is over- she can afford to have a little more fun now.
“Shut up,” Dina laughs, shoving him with her shoulder. He shoves her back, a little more gentle.
“I’m serious! You did it. You got your girl. Congrats.” His smile is genuine, and while Dina’s grateful, she can’t say she isn’t a little confused.
“You’re not upset?” she asks cautiously.
“Why would I be upset?” He takes a long drink from his glass, leaning back against the wood of the bar. “You’re a big girl, you can make your own choices. ‘M happy for you.” He smirks knowingly. “I’m just glad you finally went for it.”
“What do you mean, finally?”
“Dina, everyone and their mom could tell how big a crush you had on her. It’s not like you’re subtle.”
“I am plenty subtle,” she scoffs, but she can feel the blood rush to her cheeks as she’s speaking. Did Ellie know? Did everyone know? Maybe the “friendly” flirting was too much.
Jesse just chuckles under his breath. “Well, I’ll toast to you anyways.” He raises his glass, a little too high for her to quite reach as he always does to tease her. “To you and Ellie... and also, fuck Seth.” She rolls her eyes, pulls his arm down and clinks glasses before taking a sip. The whiskey is good and it warms her mouth, and she bites back a little smile, that warmth reminding her of Ellie.
It had been like something out of a dream. The lights, the music, the closeness- it felt to Dina like there was nobody else in the room in that moment. It’s not that she’d never been that close to Ellie’s face before, or even the rest of her body for that matter, because she had on multiple occasions. Dina was an affectionate person- it came with the territory.
Something about this, though, had felt different. Her green eyes were brighter, the freckles on her cheeks more striking, the dark red of her hair more prominent somehow. There was no way Dina couldn’t have kissed her tonight, not looking like that, not while she was riding the high of an already-great winter dance.
“Earth to Dina.” Jesse nudges her.
“What?”
“I asked you what you’re gonna do now. You zoned out on me.” Oh.
“Shit, sorry. Um, probably go talk to her? I feel like we should talk about it.”
“She can be kinda dumb about this stuff,” Jesse nods.
“Yeah.” Dina feels herself smiling before she really registers it and looks down quickly at her drink to hide it. Jesse catches it anyway and laughs.
“Shit, dude, she’s already got you whipped.”
“I think I have been for a while now,” Dina laughs, somehow a little self-conscious even after the night’s bravery. Jesse just laughs into his drink, and they stand in a comfortable silence for a while, just watching the people around them.
It’s the tail end of the night now, and most of the very old and very young are gone for the night. The dance floor is mostly teenagers and young couples, with a few adults left to supervise. Dina never got why they felt supervision was still necessary- this wasn’t the world the adults had grown up in- but it was still a little endearing to know they cared so much.
Dina spots a few jackets thrown over a pushed-aside pew, and to her mild surprise, one of them is familiar. Ellie left her brown jacket, the nice leather one she’d been swearing by all fall. She supposes she’d forgotten it in her rush to leave.
Idly, she hopes everything is alright with her and Joel. Ellie’s been angry with him for almost two years now, and she knows it’s not smart to expect any meaningful conversation between them at this point. Nobody holds a grudge like her best friend.
Are they still best friends? They haven’t talked about it yet. Dina feels a little giddy at the thought of getting to tell people that Ellie is her girlfriend . God, that could be their future, couldn’t it? Going out on dates, holding her hand whenever she wants, getting to kiss her again and again, infinite times, whenever Ellie will let her… it sounds like every dream Dina’s had since she was sixteen. She’d never again have to stop herself from rushing to be in her arms after a long day or finally just kissing her when she starts to ramble about space or her comics again with that beautiful, adorable enthusiasm. It feels a little silly to have done so soon, but Dina’s already written Ellie into the life she can see ahead of her.
She really should talk to her about it.
Dina walks over and picks up the jacket, folding it over one arm. The feel of the cracked leather is soothing and familiar, even worn like this- she’s casually touched Ellie’s arm in conversation enough to remember the sensation of it under her fingers. She drains her drink one last time, standing on her tiptoes to shove the glass farther back so people will know it’s been used.
“Going on home?” Jesse asks.
“Yeah. I think we all deserve some sleep after that.”
He chuckles, nodding a goodbye. “See ya tomorrow morning.”
“Bye.” Dina leans up to give him a quick hug, which he returns gently, and makes her way to the door as she dodges the few overly inebriated couples on the floor.
It’s gotten cold outside, but nothing too out of character for a Jackson December. The snow’s been down for a week or so, and a shiver cuts her through as she heads home for the night. About halfway, she decides it wouldn’t really hurt, and she slips on Ellie’s jacket.
It’s too big, of course- Ellie’s a little taller than her anyways, and she wears her clothes loose. Dina rolls the sleeves once and accepts that they’re still going to hang over the tops of her hands. Ellie may have had a point- it’s warm alright, and comfortable, too. Dina pulls it closer around herself and puts her hands deep in the pockets to warm them.
It smells good, she notices. Like Ellie. It smells like her soap and sweet woodsmoke from bonfires, and Dina finds herself blushing thinking of her. It’s like finally kissing her flipped a switch in her brain, and now she’s falling for her all over again like a schoolgirl with a crush. She can’t think of Ellie without thinking of that dance, and then she ends up smiling and flushing and feeling a little giddy. It’s nice, Dina decides. She wonders if Ellie feels the same.
Her house is close enough to Ellie’s, and as she passes by Joel’s place, she can see two figures on the porch- the two of them, leaning on the railing. She starts to shrug off the jacket, ready to take it over to her and maybe have that conversation she was hoping for, but she catches Ellie raising her voice a bit, straightening up and turning to look at the old man. She hears Joel’s voice, quiet and steady, but can’t quite make out the words. Clearly, it isn’t the time. She tugs the jacket back over her shoulders, secretly a little glad to keep it.
She hopes everything is okay with them. There have been so many times after talking to Joel that Ellie has run to Dina, so angry that she breaks things, so angry that she cries before she can begin to explain to Dina. She never explains fully. Dina’s long since decided that she’s okay with that. Whenever Ellie feels safe enough to share whatever it is that broke them apart is fine with her. They’ve got time.
She sneaks one last look at the porch, lit by a few dim yellow lights. She can just make out Ellie turning to leave, and Joel still leaning on the railing. His shoulders are shaking, and her heart sinks. She should’ve known better. As Ellie fades into the darkness in the opposite direction, however, she sees him look up and smile at the stars. He mumbles something to nobody in particular before picking up a guitar and heading into his house.
Dina smiles to herself as she picks up the pace to head home. She’s not sure exactly what, but something good happened tonight. She’s glad. Ellie, and Joel too, deserved a little good after everything they’d been through.
It starts to snow right before Dina can make it home, and when she’s safely in her home again she lets her hair down and brushes the snowflakes out. She’s got patrol early tomorrow morning; she really should sleep.
Part of her wants to turn on a record and jump around, or to write every detail of tonight down to keep. She doesn’t want it all to be over so soon- she wants to prolong it, make a record, keep this feeling in some way for as long as she can.
… But she does have patrol in the morning, and it’s late, and she can feel her eyes drooping already. Her one-woman party will have to wait.
She keeps the jacket on as she gets ready for bed. It feels a little silly, but it’s comforting and warm, and it feels like having Ellie with her, which reminds her of their kiss, which keeps bringing back the flutter in her stomach.
Her eyes land on the old instant camera Jesse had found for her a few weeks back. She’d only used it a few times- there was a shot of the sunset from her window, one with her and a couple kids from town and one of Jesse pulling a dumb face for the photo- but she knows how it works. Dina picks up the camera, setting it on her work bench on top of a few books, high enough to catch her in the lens. She takes a look around the room- the only light was a lamp at her bedside, but it could look nice. She wraps the jacket around her again, smiles and clicks a picture.
The camera spits it out, and she spends a few seconds flapping it in the air. She remembers Eugene trying to tell her it didn’t work like that, but she figures they wouldn’t have made a whole song about it if you weren’t supposed to do it. As soon as it’s developed, she flips it over and takes a look.
It is nice, she decides. The light is warm, and her cheeks are a little rosy from the cold. Even her messy hair sort of adds to the mood. Carefully, Dina slides it into her bedside drawer. She has her little memory of the night.
Reluctantly, she slips off the jacket as she undresses, folding it on the chair at her bench. She can let Ellie know she’s got it tomorrow.
Dina slides under the covers and turns off the lights. It’s hard to fall asleep like this, with this new shining memory pinging through her head and the thought of seeing Ellie tomorrow for patrol. She remembers suddenly that they’re paired together, and a small grin makes its way across her face. Perfect. They’ll have plenty of time to talk.
She hopes everything goes alright tomorrow.