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Nakajima Atsushi was the epitome of everything that Akutagawa hated in people, naive, overconfidence (and a jock). So it was only logical for Akutagawa to hate him from the inside out. Hate his attitude, the way that he smirked at Akutagawa whenever their crosses paths, hated the way that he always thought that things would work out for the best, ignoring the twisting paths of history that led him to the same path over and over, leaving Akutagawa to pull him out of the ouroboros-like circle of working himself to exhaustion and falling to pieces, and doing it all over again until Akutagawa caught him sobbing in a closet.
Then onto his old, flea market table.
Then in his—Akutagawa’s bedroom. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
(Not really, actually, the straw that broke the camel’s back was the first time that he caught Atsushi crying. This final straw, which, in relational to the metaphorical camel, sent him ten feet under the dirt.
The last time was the time that he managed to finally wrangle Atsushi into a nice, long talk (—he puts his hand on his chin here, for a moment, because even as he is thinking of all this, he is wondering of the grammatical accuracy of putting parentheses inside of parentheses, even within his own thoughts—and by “wrangle” he means, “come in silently and lock the door behind him”) Atsushi ended up actually going and talking to his adoptive parents about it, and going to therapy in the end.)
Never mind that he was a jock, and jocks were just the worst sort of people, period.
(Akutagawa clamps down on every single thought that says that at least Atsushi is pretty, because he had a whole crisis about that two months ago, where he came to the conclusion that stamping down his crush and newfound feelings was better than ever admitting to Atsushi that he had a crush on him. With his luck, Atsushi was probably straight.)
Akutagawa Ryuunosuke was everything that he hated in people, rolled up into one, admittedly tall, but still bitter, ball. And then given the ability to say whatever he wanted, including words that Atsushi had never even heard of in those combinations, Atsushi sometimes how to look up how he was insulted. Which was like being insulted twice , but Akutagawa kept on doing it, so Atsushi could only throw his own words back. (He’d been trying to read more, to keep up, but Ryuu was a lit nerd.)
(Doesn’t mean that Atsushi kept on trying. He told Akutagawa that his tongue was made out of knives, and his words out of poison once—but all Akutagawa did was ask him if he had taken to eating Shakespeare’s plays.)
(And then Atsushi had to look up Shakespeare.)
RyuuAkutagawa was brash and rude and cunning, making his own plans to trap Atsushi for his own will, and Atsushi fell into them every single time, but he never managed to do the same for Akutagawa, especially when it came to whatever rut that Akutagawa had fallen into two months ago, where he avoided Atsushi like the plague despite Atsushi’s best efforts to get them to talk again.
(All Akutagawa did was raise his head whenever Atsushi talks to him, and every time, Atsushi stepped forward, and every time, Akutagawa fled for the nearly exit. Even when Atsushi showed up at his dorm, Akutagawa went for the fire escape.)
Atsushi turns his head as Akutagawa puts his hand on his chin, wondering just what had Akutagawa showing the whirling of the gears in his head, clonking together like the beads of an abacus as the thoughts lined up on by one.
He watches as Akutagawa swirls his drink around for a second, the oranges and purples dregs swirling together like a storm before Akutagawa knocks the rest of the drink back, turning to leave before Atsushi crosses the bedroom, matching his footsteps with the beating heartbeat of the Christmas music.
“Are you off already?”
“It’s about time for me to leave.” Akutagawa’s excuse is on the tip of his tongue, and it goes off without a hitch. He has had his drink, he has no need to be here anymore. Keeping his crush under control by hanging out with the object of his affections isn’t a good idea.
Atsushi glances out the window, directing Akutagawa’s gaze to the frost that covers it, and the flurry that is surrounding them right now. With the party, and the sounds of people, music, and the “Christmas Spirit”, Akutagawa hadn’t noticed that it had begun to snow at all, nevertheless, this hard.
“It seems a bit too cold to leave doesn’t it? I’m sure that Chuuya-san will let you stay the night.”
Akutagawa shakes his head, “I really better go.” His excuse is crumbling apart like clay, losing its weight and falling to pieces. And just to finish it off, he glances back at the flurry, wincing.
“It is still cold. It won’t just get warmer the second that you wake out the door.” Atsushi points out and Akutagawa glares at him. At least he’s wearing warm clothes, Atsushi just has a bad christmas sweater, of the “ugly christmas sweater” variety, and jeans.
Atsushi hopes that Akutagawa isn’t thinking that, if they go around, that he will fair better. Akutagawa may be wearing all black, with a black turtleneck and black jeans, but one, Atsushi’s pretty sure that study where wearing black clothes made you warmer worked with doghouses, and not human beings, and also, was the results of that study even significant? Besides, Akutagawa was the type to wear a hoodie all year round, it’s not like he was going to fare well.
“Don’t give me that look.”
“What look?” Atsushi asks, wondering what flowery description that Akutagawa is going to come up with this time.
“The look like you’re staring at me and you’re not amused.” Okay, not flowery, “I thought you said that you wanted me to…”dumb things down for you”.” Akutagawa even adds the finger quotes, and Atsushi scoffs at him.
“Oh, like you’re actually going to do it.”
“I just did.”
“Oh.”
“Ha.”
“Ha yourself! ” Atsushi huffs at him, turning back to his own drink, water, in a black-tinted glass, before leaning back right next to Akutagawa at their spot in the wall just inches apart, “Did you at least enjoy yourself, I thought that you weren’t coming after a while.”
“Of course I came, you invited me.” Akutagawa drags his finger over the rim of his empty cup ignoring how his heart skipped when Atsushi moved closer, “Not like it’s been bad or anything, even if it is filled with jocks.”
“Nerd.” Atsushi replies immediately, and Akutagawa turns his eyes up, giving Atsushi a gaze so flat that would’ve made Atsushi turn away with his tail between his legs when they first met, gray eyes boring holes right through him, but Atsushi ignores it, “Oh, you’ll have to do worse than that to make me back down.”
Akutagawa bares his teeth, only for a moment before they’re put aware again, and Atsushi wonders why he is the one that gets the nickname of “Jinko”—formally, it is because that one time, Ryuu caught him with his kitty-eared hoodie. To this day, Atsushi’s not sure if the reason for the nickname if that Ryuu caught him, or because Atsushi was trying to hide it—when Akutagawa was the one more like a wild animal.
Fiercely territorial, working on instincts so refined they might as well be conscious thought, Akutagawa was truly a creature in it of himself.
“So you cannot be held back but such toothless insults, as such would not even be like a barb of a thistle to a brown bear? Good for you.”
.
.
.
A creature of himself, and a loquacious (that was an insult that Atsushi hadn’t gotten to use yet) lit major.
Atsushi blinks at him several times as he tries to parse Akutagawa’s words and he sighs, inwardly. No matter how willing Atsushi may be to listen to him rant about literary devices, and the impact of how a single, disconnected word can change the entire structure of a work of art, it never seemed to truly sink in, did it? Akutagawa wonders why he even explains these things to Atsushi. And then he wonders why Atsushi even bothers to ask.
Akutagawa does take the time to come to his performances, but that means nothing, really. Atsushi is a wonderful dancer, and even though he tends to be much broader than his fellow students, that doesn’t impair his grace in the slightest. Seeing him on stage, even for practices, isn’t something that Akutagawa would miss for the world.
Akutagawa shivers a bit, only now realizing that a draft had been blowing in from the open window, placing the drink down on the table, and only getting to turn his head before Atsushi is already halfway across the room, shutting the window before turning back to Akutagawa with an expression that he doesn’t have time to decipher before his hands are in Atsushi’s hands, and yup, he’s short-circuited, yep, Nakajima Atsushi is holding his hands in his hands, and yep, there’s all intelligent thought out the window.
“Your hands are freezing.” Atsushi notes as puts Akutagawa’s hands between his own, rubbing them to get them to heat up, so focused in doing that he doesn’t notice that Akutagawa has fallen completely silent, “There!” Atsushi chirps triumphantly, still holding Akutagawa’s hands, and it takes Atsushi several long moments to resume thoughts because he’s holding Akutagawa’s hands, he’s holding Akutagawa’s hands, he’s holding Akutagawa’s hands—
“Thank you. Now I should really start going—” Akutagawa moves to leave again, and Atsushi’s heart drops to his stomach, because he’s most certainly scared Akutagawa away, but he has to remind him,
“It’s still flurrying out there. Do you need to be home immediately or something?”
“Gin’s waiting for me in my dorms.”
“Gin Akutagawa...the same Gin Akutagawa I met when they was making shit bags to throw at the owner of the homophobic dinner. That Gin Akutagawa. That Gin Akutagawa is waiting for you, that Gin Akutagawa, who, mind you, you told me was spending Christmas with her girlfriend. ”
“....I meant Hirotsu.”
“Look,” Atsushi sighs, and nearly raises his hand to drag it down his face, but that would mean taking his hand out of Akutagawa’s grip, and he’s not doing that, so he’s in this awkward pose of raising one hand to Akutagawa’s chest level, “You want out, I get it. At least you should stay in front of the fire for a bit, prepare yourself for the cold before you call an uber or something.”
“...I should really…” Akutagawa trails off again, and Atsushi knows that his assumption was right. Maybe he wasn’t thinking about how Akutagawa would feel in this crowd of people that he hardly knows...he just wanted Akutagawa here with him. Aah...what a crush does to your sense of thought. Destroys it, makes your self-centered, “I’ll take your suggestion. If you get me a drink as well.”
Atsushi lets out another sad sigh and Akutagawa’s heart cracks just a bit more, following the fractures that had appeared during his crisis, “The music’s probably gonna be good at least.”
“I’ll hold you to that.” Akutagawa remarks as Atsushi pulls them out of their side room, pulling them closer to the party proper, “If it’s pop, I leave immediately.”
The joke falls flat.
Akutagawa lets Atsushi lead him down the stairs, into the throng of people that have congregated on the first floor, slipping through them as easily as a salmon makes its way back upstream. People turn to Atsushi, and say hello as he passes, and Atsushi waves back at them. Akutagawa would assume that they are all football players, but some are short, thin, tall, long-legged, broad shoulders—of all sorts, and Akutagawa is not sure whether his confusion is of not looking at the football team closely enough, or not knowing that Atsushi was as popular as he was.
At least he’ll have someone to be with when I leave. Akutagawa thinks to himself, but the thought is not comforting. Not in the very slightest and Akutagawa would pull up a reference to support that, but he really doesn’t feel like it, knowing that he hurt Atsushi.
He hates hurting Atsushi. For all their insults, they’re playful, and when they dig deep, draw a connection to a wound that was never properly dealt with, or was ignored, they pull back immediately, taking out their words to bandage up the wound. But with their actions...Atsushi was much better at apologizing for his actions than Akutagawa would ever be.
“Do you want me to get you a drink?” Atsushi asks, words clipped and emotionless as they stop at the fireplace and Akutagawa nods to stop apologies from slipping out of his lips. There was no need for those, all he needed to do was to do better.
“Surprise me.” Akutagawa pulls away, finally taking his hands out of Atsushi’s grip as he sits on the edge of the couch in front of the fireplace, ignoring the couple that seemed to be making out on the other end to instead just warm himself, holding out his hands as he waits for Atsushi to return.
Atsushi bites his lip to keep tears from rising to the surface. Selfish selfish selfish , he repeats to himself as he leaves to find the bar , I should have known better, I shouldn’t have ever asked him to come, this was all a mistake, Ryuu isn’t even happy here. “Kunikida-san?” Atsushi asks once he gets to the bar, and Kunikida turns to him, sliding a drink someone’s way.
“Yes, At—Did something happen?” Atsushi closes his eyes tight to keep from bursting into tears.
“No no, it’s fine, I’m fine, Akutagawa just isn’t really having a good time and he wants to leave, but I can tell that he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings but—” Atsushi’s voice hitches, and he stares at the counter. The party still lives behind him, and Atsushi finds some solace in the fact that no one cares enough to see him when he’s upset.
(Except Akutagawa. His subconscious whispers.)
What appears in Atsushi’s head is the image of Akutagawa’s face as he lied to him, and Atsushi has to work hard to choke down a sob, “It’s fine, Kunikida-san. Just get me a Tequila Sunrise with grape grenadine please.” Kunikida stares at him for several long seconds, and Atsushi is not used to this kind of stare. It’s not like the “ I am the football manager ” stare, or his “ my boyfriends are idiots ” stare, it is simply a sad stare that only lasts for a moment before Kunikida starts mixing up his drink.
When he glides it across the table, he just says, “It’s on the house. And also,” Atsushi whips around to Kunikida to catch his words, but the man is already turning away, “Talking is the best way to work out your problems. Hiding from what hurts doesn’t bring you happiness, what brings happiness is pulling away the hurt and findings things that you love.”
“Sage advice.” Atsushi remarks, rubbing his eyes with his free hand, and finding that a few tears had escaped.
“There’s also a tear on the side of your nose.” And back is regular Kunikida, gruff tone and all, and Atsushi chuckles for a moment, spirits momentarily lifted before he turns back into the crowd to find Akutagawa. Keeping his spirits up is a constant effort, but he holds it aloft Akutagawa’s drink.
It turns out to be easier than he thought, because he finds Akutagawa right in the middle of a Soukoku argument, being yanked back and forth between two drunk men as he’s forced to pick a side. Atsushi can almost see his expression, whipping from side to side for any escape.
“I heard that they’re doing beer pong,” Atsushi says, leaning down to talk to the owner of the house, and Chuuya perks up immediately.
“I’m beating you at that, shitty Dazai.” Chuuya says immediately, and Dazai gives him a shit-eating smirk before he races off, leaving Chuuya to follow behind him.
“...Do they even know where they’re going?” Akutagawa asks mildly and Atsushi chuckles, keeping his spirits raised.
“I can’t believe that they were supposed to show us the ropes.”
“It’s amazing that we know where the bathrooms are.” Atsushi agrees, and he is about to say more, before Ryuu reaches up, taking the hand that Atsushi had put on the couch back, winding their fingers together for a moment before dropping his hand again.
“What? You looked like you needed it.” At Atsushi’s inquisitive look, he continues, “We don’t want any rumors whirling around, do we?”
“What an awful thing.” Atsushi mutters, feeling frigid despite the roaring fire, but this time, he is sure that his plight doesn’t make it to his face. He glances up at the window, “It’s still flurrying.”
“So it is.” Akutagawa says, copying him for a moment, before craning his head back to look at Atsushi, “So, what’s that?”
“Tequila Sunset with grape grenadine.”
“...That’s exactly what I had before...thank you, Atsushi. That was...quick-t—thoughtful of you.” Atsushi stands stock-still for a few seconds, and Akutagawa knows that his compliments are rare, so he takes the initiative and plucks the drink from Atsushi’s fingertips, taking one long sip before he glances out the window. It is still flurrying, and any excuse that he is going to have is just going to hurt Atsushi again so he tugs on Atsushi’s arm again, meaning that he should join him on the couch as the couple making out earlier has disappeared...to where, he is not going to consider.
How did Akutagawa always know the perfect words to say, the perfect things to do?
Atsushi didn’t deserve someone as perfect at him. Didn’t deserve it when he let even the little things get under his skin, tear him apart, because in the end, Akutagawa didn’t mean to hurt him, and that means that Atsushi just shouldn’t get hurt.
Atsushi joins him on the couch, and it sinks under their weight, well-worn and Akutagawa wonders how much time the owners had spent up, entangled in each other, warmed by the fire.
He couldn’t say much for Chuuya, or for Kunikida—they were both from the groups that Akutagawa called the jocks, and avoided like he was still a sophomore in high school, pretending like those divides meant anything other that who was willing to run in gym class—but it was good that they were able to temper Dazai’s...capriciousness.
(More like his ability to tear Akutagawa down to pieces without a second thought, removing his pride in anything and everything, other than not making him mad the few times that he was able—but he had gotten better from that. He was no longer always waiting for Dazai to tell him that he had done good, he had gotten better than that.)
(That’s what he told himself.)
Dazai was something of a loose cannon still, but he could be kind, at least. When Chuuya got sick, he took over as Atsushi’s guide for a few months, and Atsushi came out nice and kind and worth the space that he inhabited, so that was good, Dazai could be good, Dazai could be better.
Whatever happened to Akutagawa was his fault for being too soft, too sensitive—
“I wonder why…” Atsushi trails off, before starting again in just a few moments, “You’re curling up…” Atsushi stops again, and Akutagawa realizes that he had been moving his knees to his chest, huddling up into a ball, and stops immediately, nearly spilling his drink over his hand as he does so, “I’m glad that Dazai is nice to you now.”
“Why? He was fine before.” Atsushi grabs his shoulders suddenly, spinning Akutagawa around and his drink does spill on his hand this time.
“He was not , he hurt you .” Atsushi insists, and for a second, he’s launched back into the day that Chuuya finally told him why he was so worried that Dazai had become his mentor...all the things that he did to Akutagawa, told him, convinced him of. Atsushi’s heart drops to his stomach just like on that day, and he wants to tell Akutagawa that he was...god, how do you tell someone that they had to recognize the pain done to them, the way that the spears that tore through his chest still left wounds long after they had exited his body, that just that someone became a better person, that was not a reason to trust them like the past had never happened?
Maybe he shouldn’t be thinking this, be thinking about saying this, because how was he going to say it when he wasn’t the same? He hated the Headmaster, and even when he learned of the man’s death, he was still so angry. But the lessons still stuck, so that is why Atsushi finally said, “ Akutagawa, Dazai hurt you. ” The party is still roaring behind them, and somewhere in this house, was a man who’s two boyfriends were probably arguing somewhere, “ You don’t have to convince yourself that he didn’t. ”
Ah. That sound? That sound must be the shattering of his heart into a tiny little pieces. Maybe one day, one day he would be able to think this through, to look at this from a point beyond his own, to learn how to see look through his own eyes and see the blood that’s dripping from the abandoned dagger in his chest.
But now?
“Thank you for that Atsushi.” Akutagawa uses his hand not covered in alcohol to wipe his face, but he cannot find it in himself to tear his eyes away from Atsushi, Nakajima Atsushi, just what sort of spell have you put on me?
Atsushi stares at him with such certainty, eyes like the dying sunset glowing with vitality and for a moment, Akutagawa almost thinks, I am not okay , but he stops himself, finally tearing away his eyes from Atsushi’s own to place his drink on the countertop, relaxing into the couch.
Akutagawa mouths a thank you, at him, and for a moment, Atsushi wonders if Akutagawa meant to do that as the other musses his hair up on the couch as he relaxes, and Atsushi wants to wind his hand through soft locks and hold Akutagawa tight, but he just doesn’t know how to ask how, and he’s not quite sure if he even should.
“I should be leaving.” Akutagawa mumbles, voice soft, just as Atsushi asks, “Can I move closer?” At the same time. Atsushi recoils, but Akutagawa just looks at him, thinks about how warm it is when they hug, and thinks fuck it , and shifts closer, laying his head on Atsushi’s shoulder. I can at least say I tried to keep our friendship the same but...I just want to be close to him right now.
Akutagawa rests his head on Akutagawa’s shoulder, and Atsushi’s heart nearly jumps into this throat, because it feels like his heartbeat is in his throat, all his blood in his cheeks with how hard he’s blushing as Akutagawa snuggles into him.
“I should probably be going home.” Akutagawa mutters after a few seconds, and this time, Atsushi is not the hurt the same way as before.
“And what? Leave me here without my heater? I would be so disappointed.”
Akutagawa scoffs, and it rumbles through Atsushi’s chest, “Your heater is the fire. If you are so concerned about your source of heat, then you will simply leave me be.”
“Nope!” Atsushi chirps and pulls Ryuu closer, and for a moment, they both wonder just how they are able to feel happy, honestly and truly content in this moment, but the answer is because they are together. Akutagawa opens his mouth, “And you still can’t leave. It’s still flurrying outside.”
“Hmm.” Ryuu moves his head up from Atsushi’s chest, laying his chin on Atsushi’s shoulder, “You’re being pushy.”
Atsushi shrugs, “I just didn’t want you to leave.”
“I still have to go home, eventually, you know?”
“Still flurrying.”
“I can’t stay here forever.”
“Flurrying.”
“Just because it’s warm in here, doesn’t mean that I don’t have to deal with the cold eventually.”
“Don’t hurt yourself when you don’t need to.”
“Gin is still waiting.”
“For a call from you, I’m guessing.”
“I should probably be home for that.”
“If you need me to, I can always call you an uber when the time comes.”
“People will talk.”
“People are always talking.”
Akutagawa lets out a long-suffering sigh that lives without a hint of suffering, “Fine. I guess I’ll stay for a bit longer.”
“Hmm,” Atsushi notes, “It’s still cold outside.”
“No need to rub it in.” Akutagawa snipes, before putting his head back on Atsushi’s shoulder, sighing for a long moment, “Can you believe that all I thought of you is that you were a jock at first?”
“At least I was right about calling you a nerd.” Ryuu affixes him with another flat stare and Atsushi just chuckles, “I mean, you are a lit nerd.”
“And you are a football jock. With the “does ballet” twist and everything. You can’t talk.” And, to get the last word, Akutagawa sets his head back down on on Atsushi’s shoulder, pressed against the curve of his neck, and for several long moments, they are silent, together.
They are relaxing, together, closer than they have ever gotten before, and Atsushi wonders just how badly he would ruin this if he turns his head and presses his lips against Ryuu’s, just how wide the divide between them would be.
Akutagawa wonders, just how bad things would be, if he kisses Atsushi right now, twisted his hand in Atsushi’s sweater and pulled him down and meeting their lips, and taking the kiss that he had dreamed of for ages, the kiss that he had fractured his heart rejecting.
At the same time, they look at each other, and the thought of kissing the other is still racing through their heads. Akutagawa lets out a soft, scared breath, and he hopes that the rapid beating he feels is Atsushi’s own, and not just Akutagawa projecting.
Akutagawa’s lips part, just the tiniest bit, and Atsushi can’t help but stare for a moment, before he brings his gaze up to Akutagawa’s eyes.
Akutagawa catches him staring at his lips.
Atsushi waits as Akutagawa’s hands hover around his collar.
Akutagawa grabs his collar; Atsushi moves his eyes back down Akutagawa’s lips.
In the same moment, they move closer, hoping so much that the other feels the same.
Their lips meet.
Their eyes flutter shut at the same time, feeling through their first kiss without their sight and their hands move, Akutagawa’s to Atsushi’s shoulders, Atsushi’s to Akutagawa’s waist, and they move impossibly closer.
Atsushi’s lips are impossibly soft against his and Akutagawa can’t help but deepen the kiss, moving his hands so that they wind around Atsushi’s neck, pulling them even closer and for a moment, Akutagawa forgets everything but how long he’s been waiting for it.
It feels like lifetimes that Atsushi had been waiting, for every second they had spent together since Atsushi realized his feelings, and it all culminated right here, right now.
“I’ve waited for this for what seems like forever.” Atsushi breaks the kiss to murmur into the air between them, and Ryuu makes a motion that Atsushi thinks is a nod before he surges forward, kissing Atsushi again and he melts.
Me as well. Akutagawa turns his head, moving into Atsushi’s lap, even though it’s really been two months .
Atsushi’s lips are soft against his, and Akutagawa squirms on his lap for a moment before the bubble around them pops and he remembers the party roaring all around them.
“Atsushi. We should get going.”
“But it’s still cold, you shouldn’t be leaving now—”
“We should get going.” Ryuu repeats, pulling on Atsushi’s long strand of hair like a child, “You can just lean on me or something to keep me warm.”
Atsushi winces, glancing out the window one more time, “I wonder how deep the snow is...up to our knees?”
“Do you want to keep on staying here?” Akutagawa gestures to the party as a whole, “It’s been fine, but,” Atsushi takes Akutagawa’s hand again, pulling it to his chest and for a moment, Akutagawa loses his train of thought, blushing for a moment before continuing, “You’re too shameless.” Atsushi just presses Akutagawa’s hand against his heart, letting Akutagawa feel his heartbeat and Akutagawa falls just a little bit more, “People are going to talk.”
“Shame.” Atsushi says, even as Akutagawa feels his heartbeat slow up, just the tiniest bit—or is that because Akutagawa leaned in closer.
“You’re making it worse.” Akutagawa mutters, not daring to look at the crowd.
“Oh well!” Atsushi chirps and Akutagawa rolls his eyes.
“We should get going.”
Atsushi pouts, “But it’s still freezing.”
“Then call a damn uber.” Akutagawa hisses, finally sliding out of Atsushi’s lap, “Staying home alone isn’t preferred, and I know that you aren’t going to see your parents either!
“So I’m not leaving here alone, and you aren’t staying here alone, so just spend Christmas with me! ”
Okay fine, just another drink then
That took a lot of convincing!
Comes out over the stereo and Akutagawa blushes intensely as he realizes the song, chest heaving with the declaration he had just made and Akutagawa wants to melt into the floor.
Atsushi’s heart feels like it’s about to burst, and he reaches forward and takes Ryuu’s hand, pulling him back down to earth.
“Well, how could I—I mean, how—I—”
Ryuu leans down and presses his finger against Atsushi’s lips, “Don’t let a jock do a nerd’s job. How about, ‘I’d love to spend Christmas with you.’”
“I’d love to spend Christmas with you.”
Even with the storm, when they leave the house, the heat of the other is more than enough.