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The White Reaper of the Port Mafia...Akutagawa stares at the boy with such a lofty title as he shakes in the bed that they share. Beads of sweat are running down his head, and his shoulders are shaking and he’s very clearly having a nightmare.
Doesn’t mean that Akutagawa has a single clue as for what he should be doing.
Atsushi is having a nightmare, now what?
Akutagawa sighs, and the curtain in front of him ripples, blowing forward with his breath. It separates them, a translucent silver curtain and he knows that there is a metaphor that could be made out of that, but he feels like pursuing it would be rude.
Atsushi shudders and rolls over and Akutagawa doesn’t know what he should do.
It’s not like they’re even acquaintances—they’re still enemies on paper actually. Atsushi is a member of the Port Mafia, while Akutagawa is part of the Armed Detective Agency, they shouldn’t be within the same postal code without throwing punches, and here Akutagawa is, watching over Atsushi when he sleeps and he wonders just what of Dazai’s plan included him getting closer to the weretiger.
Then he wonders if Dazai even had a plan in the end, a reason for them to come together other than causing himself enough pain to satisfy himself before tossing himself off the Port Mafia building like he didn’t have a whole lot of shit to fix.
Atsushi rolls over again, and Rashomon catches him before he rolls off the bed completely and falls face first onto the floor. It might free him from his dream, but Akutagawa doesn’t want to chance that Atsushi might join him in insomnia.
He couldn’t bear to leave his back turned to the weretiger, but yet, Atsushi was asleep enough to have nightmares.
Atsushi reaches out with his hands, and Akutagawa pushes back the curtain to look at Atsushi more closely. Even with the more civilian clothes that they had changed into for this mission, Atsushi still wears that damned collar. Every time that he moves, the spikes inside drive into his neck even farther and Akutagawa what kinds of self-sacrificing idiot would submit themselves to such a thing.
Akutagawa takes a sip of his black tea as Atsushi tosses and turns, he crosses his legs on the windowsill as Rashomon places Atsushi gently on the center of their bed.
He wonders just what exhausted Atsushi completely to lead him to falling into such deep sleep with his enemy at his back. Akutagawa takes another sip of his black tea, he knows that he would not do the same.
Akutagawa wonders, just how irritated Atsushi would be come morning to find that all of that exhaustion had lead to nothing but nightmares that would only leave him more exhausted when the morning came.
Akutagawa finds himself reaching out to comfort Atsushi, but pulls his hand back immediately when Atsushi rolls over again, reaching his arms out in his sleep.
Toward Akutagawa.
His hands reach out, clawing at the empty air for a moment before they fall back against the bed.
Akutagawa takes a deep breath in to steady his nerves. Atsushi was dangerous. He knew that, without a doubt. He could take Atsushi on, without a doubt. But still, a beast reaching toward him like that—Akutagawa bites his tongue and stops that line of thinking.
Their journey to find out who they needed to protect the book was a long one, and it would only fall apart if they began thinking the worst of each other. Because, the truth was, simply, beasts did not take solace in family, did not wail and cry and scream when their mentors died.
So Atsushi was simply not a beast. No matter how much Akutagawa’s evil nagging thoughts told him to destroy whatever is between them and call Atsushi his enemy, he will not.
Atsushi turns again, and Akutagawa takes another sip of tea, trying to ignore the slipping of his eyelids as Atsushi continues to toss and turn. He stares out over Yokohama instead, ignoring the tiger’s tossing.
Just how much more will this city take... Akutagawa thinks, blinking excessively... before it implodes once its protectors... the cup slips from his grasp... cannot protect it any longer.
“...Are you sure that you’re okay with this?”
“Shut up weretiger, I said that I was fine.”
“Well, I’m not the one that dropped a cup and woke me up!” Atsushi snaps back at him, and all Akutagawa does is glare at him. They’re both wound up, yet another day posing as “close friends”, while trying to sneak around and confirm just who would want to rewrite reality, running on minimal sleep, “You need rest.”
“I will rest later.”
“When.” Atsushi growls, and Akutagawa stares at the incisors that now peek out from behind his lips, moving back instinctively, “If you are scared,” Atsushi takes a deep breath, and steps away from Akutagawa, backing up against the bed, “of me, just tell me. We can pretend that we are trying to keep up the act of "friends" and getting two rooms, just—”
“Hmpf. You flail when you’re having a nightmare.” Akutagawa huffs, joining Atsushi on the bed, “Stick to your own side, and I won’t have any problems...What?” Atsushi is staring at him with this astonished look, sunset eyes blown wide, “What? ”
Atsushi opens his mouth, closes it again, before rubbing his neck as he says, “Sorry, I just...assumed.”
Akutagawa stares at the lines of blood that come down from Atsushi’s collar, “You—” Akutagawa reaches out for it, and his hands nearly brush against Atsushi’s collar until he leaps back and Akutagawa realizes that the harsh sound in the air had been Atsushi’s panting.
The White Reaper is wide-eyed, sunset pupils pinpricks as Akutagawa’s hand is frozen in mid-air.
Akutagawa puts his hand down, and shifts to the other side of the bed, just like Atsushi had.
I’m sorry.
“I think that sleep is a good idea.” Akutagawa turns his back and slips under the covers. The sheets rustle as Atsushi climbs over to him, “We both need the rest, weretiger.” Akutagawa says softly, as he feels Atsushi’s hand hover over his shoulder. I won’t deal you any more pain.
They both go to sleep.
Akutagawa is blinking his eyes open in what feels like minutes, and when he turns over to look at the clock, he can see that four hours have passed. And he’s freezing because he’s not covered in the blanket anymore.
Akutagawa wonders if he could shove the weretiger off the bed and take all the blankets for himself, and he has Rashomon out and ready to do just that before he flips to his other side and sees Atsushi clawing at the blankets again.
Akutagawa stills. Yet another nightmare.
He’s closer, this time, but that doesn’t mean that he has any clue what to do. Akutagawa’s first instinct is to turn away, to leave the White Reaper to his demons, but then he remembers what Atsushi had said to him.
“Why then, do you keep on following the words of a dead man?” Akutagawa had snarled at him, tie wrapped around Atsushi’s tie as he pulled their faces close, barely hidden behind a pillar, but it was enough to allow Akutagawa to spit out the question that had been bouncing around in his head ever since the White Reaper appeared at the Armed Detective Agency doorstep and told him that they had work to do.
Atsushi stares at him, so Akutagawa presses him harder against the pillar, pressing his fist against the mafia’s neck and forcing him to look down at him, “Answer before I throw this entire mission of yours down the—”
“To be free.” Akutagawa’s eyes flash up to Atsushi’s face, and there are tears forming in his eyes, and when Atsushi moves his hands up to grab Akutagawa’s wrists, more tears form in his skin where the collar drags into it, and Akutagawa reels back when he feels the glide of metal against skin, but Atsushi’s hands keep him on his tiptoes as his head tips forward, tears forming tracks into his face, turning the skin blotchy, “why else—at this point, nothing will free me but this.”
Atsushi’s head tips forward even more, and Akutagawa shudders, stepping back when he feels the spikes dig even farther into Atsushi’s skin, but his hands remain locked by Atsushi’s hold, and he has to hold his breath to keep back his revulsion as Atsushi impales himself on his own collar, “If I can listen to his final wish, maybe I can be free,” Atsushi points to his collar, removing his hand from Akutagawa’s, and Akutagawa immediately steps back, distancing himself from Atsushi as he slides to the floor with a thump, still stuck in his lamenting fear, “of this.”
What did Akutagawa expect? To free Atsushi of his sins with only his two arms, his words? It was going to need so much more than than. He stares at Atsushi as his demons wind around his head, poisoning his dreams, and Akutagawa wonders if he should try, if he could even try to help Atsushi, to free him from his demons.
Would it work? Could he save instead of destroy?
Atsushi shudders, reaching out over the edge of the bed for nothing, and Akutagawa stares, growing colder by the second as Atsushi flails in his nightmare.
He could always roll over and go back to sleep, hope the cold will steal away his alertness, leaving him a corpse in the bed, to wake up in the morning to a man so desperately wanting for redemption.
...but in the end, wasn’t he a detective? He had passed the test, taken the job, solved the cases, done the benign chores, he was a detective.
So that meant that his job was to save.
He had went off the rails before—because of Atsushi, Akutagawa thinks bitterly before he remembers that Atsushi was only a catalyst. You don’t blame the bomb, you blame the finger that pulled the trigger...even if the owner of that finger was long dead.
Akutagawa reaches out for Atsushi again, not for the collar, just for his shoulder. Atsushi thrashes once more before Akutagawa gently presses his hand against him, and Atsushi seems feverish, even through his nightshirt.
Akutagawa shifts ever closer, heart beating so quickly that he needs to remind himself that all he is doing is touching Atsushi, not throwing himself off the edge of a building to save him. Akutagawa places his second hand on Atsushi’s other shoulder, and even though he is still writhing, it isn’t as strong as before, like Akutagawa’s presence is calming to him.
Ha. My presence. Calming.
...but it was working, wasn’t it?
Akutagawa moves even closer, until Atsushi’s back is nearly up against his chest and Akutagawa has to turn his head to avoid eating silver hair. Atsushi is warm, annoyingly so almost, warm enough that Akutagawa forgets the blanket as the heat begins to lull him to sleep and, on instinct, he creeps even closer, to that their bodies are touching.
Akutagawa rests his head on Atsushi’s shoulder, moving his hands to wrap around his front as Atsushi stops shivering, making a contented sound that sounded a lot like a purr.
“Cat.” Akutagawa mutters, shifting his legs so that his feet aren’t cold, entangling them with Atsushi’s legs.
“You’d better sleep well.”
The way that they found themselves entangled was not something that they talked about in the morning. They both resolutely ignored that when the alarm went off and Akutagawa yawned into Atsushi’s hair.
Neither of them even noticed anything strange about the closeness as Akutagawa slowly woke up, Atsushi slamming his hand down on the alarm and throwing his head back with a yawn before he tries to get out of bed, misses the end, and ends up rolling onto the floor—taking Akutagawa with him, making him fall on top of the White Reaper.
They both laid there, for several seconds, and Akutagawa gave Atsushi’s quick reactions a wry thought, as Atsushi had managed to land on his hands and feet, before rolling off Atsushi’s back and strolling to the bathroom without another word.
They did not talk about it.
“You’re an idiot.” Atsushi snaps at him as he lays Akutagawa against the stone wall. Akutagawa would debate this fact, but he is no evidence that he is not, seeing that he stood in the way of a bullet for a man that could regenerate.
Maybe he just wanted to save Atsushi the pain.
“An idiot of the highest degree.” Atsushi says again, and Akutagawa just gives him a blank stare through gritted teeth, holding the whole in his side over Atsushi’s hands, pressing against the wound so hard that Akutagawa would be surprised if they weren’t cutting off blood circulation entirely—he can see feel the ebb of blood, he knows that they are not, “I could have taken the hit.”
Akutagawa hums at Atsushi as the White Reaper stares at his side, holding the blood back in while claws tease at his skin, cutting apart his clothes as if they were spider webs, “Well, the good news is that you can still fight.”
“And leave you, ” Atsushi hisses, “Not a chance. I already called backup, they’ll be here in just a few minutes—”
“Atsushi, do not tell me that you are a fool, they will not get here on time. Especially not on top of the roof of this hotel to save us.” Akutagawa glances up at the open sky. There are no stars, too many lights, but there is the moon hanging in the sky, full and heavy like it is full. Akutagawa glances at Atsushi, at the fangs that peek past his lips, “Go.”
“No, I will not, you cannot make me attack them.” Atsushi says, and then he repeats it like a manta.
“Atsushi.” Akutagawa says firmly, shifting to further press Atsushi’s hand against the wound, and his hiss almost drowns out the sound of the roof window flying open with a bang, but it doesn’t mask the clicking of a dozen guns, “Either you attack them, or neither of us make it out here. Me, because they will shoot me, you,” Akutagawa takes the collar of Atsushi’s coat with his free hand.
They look so different from the repressed friends that they had played to get close to the owner. To learn that this group was not one with any knowledge of The Book, only with knowledge of some Port Mafia spies that they would use to worm their way into Yokohama as a smuggling group.
Atsushi’s no longer in his white button up and dress pants, Akutagawa has finally shed the tuxedo that had vexed him throughout their entire mission—so why does it feel like they’re still playing those roles?
Maybe it’s because of the feelings that roll around in Akutagawa’s chest when he says, “you, because you will refuse to leave. ”
Atsushi’s eyes widen, hands falling slack as the words leave Akutagawa’s mouth, “Atsushi, I am sorry for what he did to you, and I’m sorry that this is your search for redemption. I am sorry that your search led you here.
“I cannot promise that this will not be a step backward.” Akutagawa gently presses his hand against Atsushi’s cheek, pressing his thumb right under Atsushi’s eye, covering the tear that had slipped out, “But, I can promise you…” Warm liquid runs out from behind Akutagawa’s hand, faster now, and he feels it dripping, “it is a step that you will have to make.
“I’ll give you this.” Akutagawa reaches into his pocket for the stun gun with the hand that he had been using to cover the wound, and he can see the stench of blood hit Atsushi’s throat and he reels back, before lunging forward and pressing his hand against the wound again as more of Akutagawa’s blood leaks onto the roof, black in the moonlight, “Leave me.”
He presses the gun into Atsushi’s hands as the footsteps start to surround them, “Either you fight, or we both die here.”
Akutagawa’s eyes flutter, and Atsushi’s silent visage goes dark as his fingers wrap around the gun’s handle, and Akutagawa can see him nod a single time before his vision goes dark and there’s a pressure on his forehead like Atsushi is trying to check his pulse before he falls asleep.
[
Yosano is just checking out her stock, doing simple inventory when she sees a demon in the reflection of her cabinet. She whirls around, and, standing there, is the White Reaper of the Port Mafia. He takes up the doorway, and within the second that it takes for her to raise her eyes, Yosano finds herself impaled on his gaze, frozen like a deer in headlights, stuck in the second before the car strikes her body and sends her flying.
The Reaper’s eyes glow a nearly ethereal yellow as he steps into the room, and Yosano slowly wraps her hand around the handle of her cleaver. She will not make it, the Reaper is a hundred times faster than she could ever dare to be, but if she is going to die here, in her own infirmary, then she is going to die swin—the Reaper’s gaze turns away from her, like she is a plant in the corner, body turning toward an infirmary bed.
That’s when Yosano notices that the Reaper has a body in his hands, and her very first thought is that it is one of his victims. That the beast has lost control of himself and dragged a body in for her to see before she is added to the pile, but Yosano knows that assumptions could be deadly, so she just stands by, cleaver at her fingertips, as the Reaper bends over a cot, laying down the body on top of the white sheets.
Yosano knows its Akutagawa the second that the Reaper steps away and she struggles to keep from jumping to conclusions as she pushes the Reaper out of the way, forcing him away from Akutagawa’s unconscious form as she stares at him.
We should have never let him go with this beast, no matter how many times that Akutagawa told us that he should go, that they were a pair, that they were given an assignment by the old Port Mafia boss that they had to follow through on.
Should have never agreed to it, no matter how hard Akutagawa screamed that he had to do this, even if it might be the only way to find Gin. They were detectives, they had their way. This way was suicide.
No gashes, no bite marks that she could attribute to the beast that loomed beside her—the only major wound was the bullet hole in his side, big enough to still be dripping blood. There. Yosano breathes and from the barest pressure she feels when she moves her hand to cover Akutagawa’s mouth, she knows that she does not even need the cleaver.
“Thou Shall Not Die.” Yosano says, as the butterfly peels away from her clip, covering Akutagawa’s wound, “You shall not die on me.” She whispers as her ability does its work and the wound disappears after just a few seconds, leaving Akutagawa on the table, shaking and pale.
Behind her, the Reaper lets out a shuddering breath that sounds like relief and Yosano turns around to see him pressed against the medicine cabinet, covering his face with his hands as his shoulder’s shake and Yosano thinks that he is crying.
She didn’t know that beasts could cry.
(They don’t.)
There are words lost behind those hands, so Yosano tells him to speak up, and the Reaper raises his head, and stares at Yosano with eyes filled with tears and glimmering like the sunset from the beach, “Thank you. Thank you so much, I didn’t know what else to do, he mentioned that you had a healer here if anything went wrong and—” The Reaper pauses a moment to wipe his nose as he takes a shuddering breath in, “I’m just glad that he’s okay.”
The Reaper slides to the floor, putting his head on his knees as he says, “He deserves it more than I do.
“...Being okay, I mean, not the being shot and then needing to be rushed across all of Yokohama and—”
“I understand.” Yosano says, staring down at the Reaper. From here, he looks so small and also scared. Scared that he’s hurt someone. Scared that his actions may have gotten someone else hurt. Yosano wonders how you have that fear and be named the Reaper simultaneously, but she had been the Angel of Death, has she not?
“What happened?” Yosano asks the shivering man, and Atsushi starts to slowly explain the mission that they had taken on, observing a new group that had been trying to creep into Yokohama. The Reaper seemed especially cagey when it came to details about why they were on the mission in the first place, and just what happened when they weren’t actively looking for whatever they were looking for—Yosano resisted the urge to chuckle and ask if they were lovers behind their backs, it would explain the lingering glances that Akutagawa gave the Reaper, the ones that were returned when the Reaper thought the other wasn’t looking—but it all seemed legit, and lead to the logical end, which was Akutagawa breaking cover and starting a shootout.
Yosano sighs, before rubbing her forehead. The Reaper flinches, but Yosano’s quick to reassure him that it was because of the unconscious man, not because of the Reaper himself.
“...I wouldn’t call him an idiot…” The Reaper says, with the tone that says that he has very much called Akutagawa an idiot, and Yosano does laugh then, leaning down to ruffle the Reaper’s hair, but she doesn’t notice the way that the Reaper flinches, only that he leans into her touch afterward.
Yosano sighs, pulling her knees up.
She knows what is probably best here, but that doesn’t mean that she has to like it.
“Kid, what’s your name so I don’t have to keep calling you White Reaper ?”
“Atsushi. It’s Nakajima Atsushi, but I tell everyone to just call me Atsushi.” Atsushi lifts his head, and gives her a smile so small and strained that she can feel her heart melting.
]
Akutagawa wakes up when his bed starts shuddering, and his first thought is that an earthquake has hit sometime during the night, so all he does it press more against his mattress and go to sleep.
The shaking of the mattress almost lulls him back to sleep, before Atsushi flails out with his legs, kicking Akutagawa off the couch, and unlike Atsushi who lands on his feet, he lands directly on his face.
At least it wakes him up.
When Akutagawa stumbles back his feet and sees Atsushi in his couch, he doesn’t have an thought like, “what is he doing here?”, or “what happened to his infirmary?”, or even, “how does Atsushi have my address?” instead, he thinks, “the idiot fell asleep on the couch.”
Akutagawa yawns, wiping away just enough sleepiness for what he thinks is conscious thought as he sits on his knees, carefully avoiding Atsushi’s flailing limbs as he’s caught in the throes of another nightmare. He wants to save Atsushi from these but...Akutagawa carefully traces Atsushi’s jawline, down to the collar that encircles his neck.
For now, Akutagawa will just have to take them as they come. Akutagawa’s hand moves to Atsushi’s fringe, brushing some hair back as Atsushi’s breath evens out.
And taking them as they come means moving back into Atsushi’s arms.
And so Akutagawa does just that.
When morning comes, properly this time, Akutagawa yawns, arching his back and his arm hits the body behind him. Then several things click at once and his face explodes with heat instantly as he realizes that he had been sleeping on his couch with Atsushi, who is still holding him close.
Atsushi breaths against the shell of his ear and Akutagawa shivers as Atsushi holds him close, arms wrapped around his chest like Akutagawa’s some kind of toy that he got from the fair, and when Akutagawa reaches to try and escape, Atsushi’s arms just wrap around him even tighter, keeping him firmly against his chest and Akutagawa ignores the way that Atsushi’s heart skips a beat, instead staring at the couch as he speaks up, “Weretiger.”
Atsushi is awake in an instant, body shifting behind Akutagawa’s, “What?”
“Weretiger, you are holding me.”
“I’m what.”
“Weretiger.” Akutagawa hisses and then Atsushi finally gets the point, letting go of Akutagawa’s chest as he plasters his hands back to his sides, “Finally.” Akutagawa huffs, sitting up as he ignores the burning in his cheeks, taking one half of the couch to himself as Atsushi sits on the other half.
They both stare at their laps, faces burning for several minutes. Words roll around in Akutagawa’s head, but he’s not sure that he should say what he’s thinking.
“I should...I should go, I think—”
Atsushi stands up and Akutagawa takes a deep breath in before turning to Atsushi, taking in his reddened cheeks, “Did you sleep well?”
“What.”
“Weretiger, you heard me.” Akutagawa snaps, refusing to stop staring into Atsushi’s eyes, even as he tries to pull his gaze away, Akutagawa stands up as well, taking Atsushi’s wrist in his hand and preventing him from running, “Did. You. Sleep. Well?”
“I—” A fierce blush spreads across Atsushi’s face, and he tries to turn his gaze away again, but Akutagawa uses his other hand to carefully place a few fingers right under Atsushi’s jaw, keeping far away from the collar as Akutagawa carefully turns his head back, “I did, what of it?”
Akutagawa lets out a low sigh, and he’s the one to finally break their stare as he closes his eyes for a few seconds, and he feels the burning in his face get even worse as he prepares for what he’s about to say next, “Nakajima Atsushi, sleep with me.”
A beat.
Atsushi blinks at him, and Akutagawa wonders what has got him so confused, until Atsushi says, “Akutagawa, what. ”
“What?”
“What do you mean have sex wit— ” Akutagawa covers Atsushi’s mouth with his hand.
“Shut up, I meant something else.” Akutagawa hisses, furrowing his brow and completely ignoring the way that his face is burning. At least he’s not alone in that, because he can see the bright red peeking out past his fingers, “I meant that, if sleeping in the same bed as me helps the nightmares, then do so.”
A beat.
Atsushi removes the hand from his mouth slowly, pulling Akutagawa’s arm away as he says, “Are you asking me to move in with you…? Wait—” Rashomon emerges, looming over Atsushi and he reels back as the black beast readies its jaws.
“Do not assume.” Akutagawa says quietly as Atsushi backs away.
Atsushi’s face crumples from confusion to calm as he backs into a corner, keeping far away from Rashomon.
“My mistake.” Atsushi gives him a tight-lipped smile, “I should not have assumed.”
Akutagawa turns on his heel and wonders just when he became such a idiot.
“I expect all your stuff in here by tonight.” Akutagawa says, as he turns a corner and walks into the bathroom. Atsushi bangs on his door, trying to make his questions drift through wood, but he doesn’t break through it like Akutagawa knows that he can, so when Akutagawa leaves and finds no one there, he starts cleaning up the house for a new occupant.
Living with the White Reaper was...an experience, for sure. Even though Akutagawa was out a lot, and Atsushi tended to find other things to occupy his days than just lounging around Akutagawa’s apartment—sometimes. (Akutagawa had come back home multiple times to find Atsushi still in the clothes that he had worn to sleep, collar still snug around his neck as he naps in a sunbeam, making a sound that sounds like a lawnmower starting up.
“You can chuff?” Akutagawa had asked, sitting on the edge of their table and Atsushi’s head whipped up, staring at Akutagawa with wide eyes as he sputtered over his words, trying and failing to convince Akutagawa that he was not chuffing and lying in the sunlight like a cat.
“It’s cute.” Akutagawa says after a bit more stuttering for Atsushi, and he gives the other man a small smile before going to change.)
He had found Atsushi just sitting in a spare box once, and all Atsushi did was glare at him and dare him to say a single word. Akutagawa, of course, did not.
When Atsushi had a rare night without nightmares, when he wakes up, he stretches his body out fully, uncaring if that might mean pressing his elbow into Akutagawa’s nose and waking him up as well.
When Akutagawa opens the door, stumbling inside after stumbling in after a case that took several hours and a couple of cases of breaking and entering to solve, he can finally smell the fruity shampoo that Atsushi had forced into his hair that morning, when Atsushi dragged him into the bubble bath he had prepared without Akutagawa knowing, keeping him down with the tiger’s strength as Akutagawa struggled.
(“You need a proper bath. ” Atsushi had hissed at him, holding Akutagawa over the shoulder that he had unceremoniously tossed him over. Akutagawa wasn’t struggling so he didn’t aggravate the collar and hurt Atsushi, but Rashomon had emerged from the fluffy black bathrobe that Atsushi had gotten him a few weeks back, ready to hack Atsushi to pieces.
“Not a fucking chance.” Akutagawa snarled back, and he sends Rashomon down to attack Atsushi.
“You know that you can actually use Rashomon, right?” Atsushi noted as they turn the corner as Rashomon’s terrifying maw nipped Atsushi’s shoulder blades, “I’ll heal.” Akutagawa let out a huff, letting Rashomon dip down to the backs of Akutagawa’s knees to take him out there, but Atsushi stopped walking for a second and Akutagawa wondered what before Atsushi’s shoulders suddenly jump and Akutagawa is jostled, with only Atsushi’s hand on his waist to keep him from flying off completely.
“Atsushi!” Akutagawa yelped as he’s tossed back and forth, “Fine, fine, just leave me be!” Akutagawa yelped a final time as Atsushi tosses him up, nearly into the air and Akutagawa’s arms flail as Atsushi laughed at him.
“You’re awful.” Akutagawa muttered as Atsushi started walking again, “I’m going to toss out all our rice.” Atsushi stopped walking, “I was joking.” Akutagawa took back his words quickly and he can almost hear Atsushi’s smirk and he let out a sigh, as he wondered just how Atsushi got so bold.
“Good.” Atsushi said cheerily, as they crossed the threshold into their bathroom, and Akutagawa saw that the bathtub had already been filled with bubbles, and he shot the back of Atsushi’s head with a betrayed look before Atsushi flipped him over his shoulder, right into the bathtub.
Akutagawa spluttered for a moment, spitting out the water that had gotten in his mouth before Atsushi dropped the towel around his waist and joined him in the bathtub. Their proximity had already stained Akutagawa a permanent red, but being in the bath with him.
“How shameless you are, weretiger,” Akutagawa noted, pushing his knees up to his chest and laying his head on top, even as his bathrobe clung uncomfortably to his skin, “Taking another man to the bath and then joining him without your clothes.”
Atsushi sputtered for a moment, “Well, you can be naked as well, I just thought that you would like to use Rashomon at least.” Atsushi’s hands are on his shoulders now and Akutagawa gave himself some credit for not combusting into a pile of blushing confetti from being so close to Atsushi.
“You are safe.” Akutagawa muttered under his breath, staring down at the bubbles that covered up his view of his feet, “And now my bathrobe is soaked.” Akutagawa peeled it off, tossing it to the side with a small huff, “You’d better dry that.”
“Of course.” Atsushi breathed, and Akutagawa shuddered as Atsushi’s breath ghosted over his shoulders, before Atsushi’s hands dipped into his hair, softly scratching at his scalp and Akutagawa couldn’t help the soft sound that spills from his throat as he leaned further into Atsushi, letting the other wash his hair.)
The lights are all off, neither of them willing to spend a single dime that they didn’t have to, but Atsushi has made sure that there’s nothing for him to trip over, so when Akutagawa stumbles over to the bathroom, he doesn’t do so with a bruised face.
After cleaning up, Akutagawa trods into their bedroom, and Atsushi’s limbs are churning, blankets forced away from him. Akutagawa lets out a blearily yawn before sitting on the edge of the bed, shaking Atsushi so he could wake up.
He wakes up with a start, as Akutagawa expected, but Akutagawa grasps his hand immediately, and Atsushi sits up and gives him a small smile before beckoning him to bed.
Akutagawa was not normally the one to have nightmares. His leg comes forward again, kicking the back of Atsushi’s leg, knowing him further out of the haziness of sleep, but Atsushi welcomes it as he turns around, shifting out of the reach of Akutagawa’s churning legs.
Akutagawa lets out a whimper into his pillow as Atsushi rubs his eyes. He isn’t as good at this as Akutagawa is, Akutagawa can knock him right out of a nightmare with just a single touch, but Atsushi stumbled through it every time.
Atsushi reaches out for Akutagawa, before he accidentally impales himself on his collar, letting out a strangled gasp that is enough to make Akutagawa’s brows further even more and...oh no, now he’s awake.
“A—Atsu, what is it?” Akutagawa murmurs, rolling over, and Atsushi winces, not because of the pain, but because he woke the other.
“Nothing, you were just having a nightmare.” Akutagawa’s face softens, a small smile emerging on thin lips.
“Thank you.” Akutagawa says, eyes beginning to flutter shut, “Get back to sleep.”
Atsushi lets out a small hum as Akutagawa rolls over again, and Atsushi wraps his arms around him, pulling him close as he listens to Akutagawa’s breathing start to even out. Atsushi wondered if Akutagawa realized just how much they had grown in the months they had spent together.
Akutagawa allowed himself to be bare without Rashomon protecting him, Atsushi could let the tiger come out without the fear of tearing Akutagawa to pieces...Kyouka had found out that Akutagawa was the perfect person for pranks...Atsushi hugs Akutagawa closer to his chest and Akutagawa lets out a contented hum as Atsushi breaths him in.
“Tomorrow’s big.” Akutagawa nods and Atsushi continues, “You think that she’s there?”
“She has to be.” Akutagawa says, with the certainty of fact and Atsushi hopes that he is right.
“Since he’s no longer around, Gin should be happy to come back with—”
Akutagawa cuts him off, “We’ll have to force her.”
“Huh—”
“I have not proved that I will not destroy everything for vengeance. She will not come back with us willingly. We will have to bring her back ourselves—”
“Aku.”
“Watch Gin’s hands, she’s quick with a knife.”
“Aku.”
“What. ” Akutagawa snaps, flipping over to look at Atsushi, “What? ”
Atsushi doesn’t even flinch, “You are not a beast of vengeance.” Atsushi says it again. And again and again until Akutagawa’s rage spills over.
“How do you know that?” Akutagawa snaps at him, “I couldn’t prove it to her then,” Atsushi takes Akutagawa’s hands in his own, and his tirade is stopped short.
You do not destroy everything you touch. Atsushi thinks as he raises Akutagawa’s hands to the collar locked around his neck, You have saved me.
“Get rid of it.” Atsushi breathes, and Akutagawa’s breath locks in his throat, eyes widening, and his hands shake on the collar, driving more lines into his neck, and Atsushi is finally sick of the pain that it inflicts, “Free me.”
It’s done in a second, Rashomon tears apart the leather and divides the collar in two.
The pressure on his neck eases and Atsushi sighs, and for the first time in years, he does that without pain. Akutagawa carefully peels the collar out from his skin, and once the damning thing is finally out his skin, the spikes no longer digging into his throat, Atsushi just moves, tossing the collar to the other side of the room as he surges forward, pressing his lips against Akutagawa’s.
Akutagawa’s lips are so so soft, and Atsushi almost gets lost in kissing him until Akutagawa places his hand on Atsushi’s shoulder, and he leaps back. What was he doing, Akutagawa was going to hate me—but what about all those shared glances, the moments where their bodies were so close that Atsushi felt like their hearts were beating at the same pace?
Atsushi watches as Akutagawa raises his hand to his face, cheeks reddening by the second as he places his fingers on his lips.
“...You...kissed me.” Akutagawa breathes, and Atsushi is ready to apologize before the hand on Atsushi’s shoulder pulls him forward, until they are nearly only an inch apart and Atsushi can see the smile on Akutagawa’s face, “You kissed me.”
Atsushi chuckles, spilling out relief from every pore as he puts his hand on Akutagawa’s cheek, rubbing small circles into the pale skin with his thumb, “I thought that you wouldn’t like it.”
“Atsushi. How many times have we bathed together?”
“Shut.” Akutagawa laughs at him, and it is the most beautiful thing that he has ever heard, “I wanted to kiss you the first time, but I didn’t think that having our first kiss in a bathroom while I was washing your hair would be the most romantic time…”
“You were waiting to kiss me until it was romantic! ” Akutagawa snaps, reaching out and playfully yanking on a chunk of Atsushi’s hair, “I swear.”
“Fine.” Atsushi huffs, pulling Akutagawa close and kissing him again, longer this time, until Akutagawa’s arm moved up to behind Atsushi’s head, pulling him in closer, “How was that then.” Atsushi asks as he pulls away, resting his hand on Akutagawa’s waist.
“Fool.” Akutagawa declares, before he pulls Atsushi back in, placing kisses all over his head and Atsushi laughs, ticklish, as Akutagawa starts pressing kisses down his jawline, before letting his lips trail down Atsushi’s neck.
Akutagawa’s lips hover over the scars left in Atsushi’s neck from the collar, and Atsushi arches his back, pressing Akutagawa’s lips against the wounds.
“You are not a beast of vengeance,” Atsushi breaths as Akutagawa kisses the marks with so much reverence that Atsushi has to direct his gaze to the ceiling.
Atsushi reaches out for Akutagawa’s hand, “You have saved me. ”