Work Text:
Bu-bum, bu-bum, bu-bum.
The steady sound of the heart monitor beating filled Dean’s ears, the steady, occasional ‘beep’ noise jarring him ever so slightly. He looked down and away from the ceiling, eyes resting and looking over the limp body in the bed. His eyes tracked the body from the bottoms of their legs, over their hips, up from their hands and arms, finally to their face.
Cas.
Cas was lying in the hospital bed, cuts all over his face and neck, a small mini cast wrapped around two of his fingers. His hair was sticking to his forehead, some pieces laying astray. He still looked so goddamn beautiful though, always looked so beautiful.
Dean leant forwards in his chair, reaching one hand out, grabbing Cas’s uninjured hand in his, running his thumb gently along the back of his hand. The hand was cold, and limp, just like the rest of Cas’s body. Dean felt himself start to tear up a little, thinking of all the bad, worst case scenarios that could’ve happened if they didn’t get to Cas sooner.
“You stupid, stupid son of a bitch,” Dean started. “You were so fucking stupid, Cas… so stupid. But… but I know why you did it, man… I know you were just trying to help, and you were just trying to do something good for someone. But dammit, you have to be more cautious around people, man.” Dean felt his voice crack, felt the way his throat started to close up. His voice was merely a whisper, but it felt like he was speaking through a megaphone.
“Please, please, Cas. I need you to come back to me… I need you to come back to me, here, in the land of the living. I need to see those bright blues of yours, sweetheart…” Dean whispered, body seemingly have moved closer to Cas.
He watched as Cas’s eyes twitched under his eyelids, but otherwise, no movement.
Not that minute, at least.
After what felt like an eternity, but was only three minutes, and forty-two seconds (yes, Dean timed it), Cas’s hand gripped to his a little tighter, his breathing got a little quicker, his eyes started to flicker open. Dean was up on his feet in an instant, leaning over the bed, cupping Cas’s face carefully, making sure to avoid touching any of the bigger cut marks.
Cas’s eyes finally opened fully, their bright blue shining through. It took him a few moments to find Dean’s, and when they did, the biggest smile stretched across Cas’s face.
“Dean…” Cas said, his voice raspy from disuse, trying to clear it, and wincing when it felt like swallowing against sandpaper.
“Hey.. hey, let me get you some water…” Dean said, hurriedly walking and filling a cup with water from the tap.
He walked quickly over to Cas, helping the cup to his lips, letting Cas take in as much as he needed. When he was done, he discarded the cup in the waste bin, making his way over to the bed again, perching himself on the side, close enough to keep physical contact with Cas. He knew he had tears in his eyes, staring at Cas, alive and well, but he couldn’t help it. He almost lost his boyfriend, hell, he did, once on the table, when they were going in and taking out the glass that was stuck in his side.
“Dean… I’m okay… alive and well… just like I promised you.” Cas said, Dean cherishing every word he said.
“I… I know. Just give me a sec, man…” He said. Cas just smiled softly at him, taking Dean’s hands in his, rubbing his thumbs over the tops of them gently.
Dean looked up at the ceiling, like he had been doing for hours on end, willing the tears to go away. They did, after a minute, but the feeling of his throat closing up again was still there. He shut his eyes, taking a few deep breaths, telling himself a mantra of Cas is here, Cas is alive, Cas is breathing, over and over.
He looked back down at Cas, patient as ever, and gave him one big, watery smile. He shifted on the bed, bringing himself closer to Cas, leaning their foreheads together gently. He rubbed their noses together gently, in an imitation of an eskimo kiss, Cas smiling that big gummy smile of his, the one who only ever used around Dean. Dean smiled back, the smile lighting up his face.
Through all this pain, the one thing that brough Dean joy was seeing his boyfriend smile. He never wanted to see that smile dim, never wanted to see it go.
“You’re lucky you’re cute…” Dean whispered softly, and Cas giggled, giggled. Dean laughed softly too, taking the time to drop a soft kiss to Cas’s lips.
God… he couldn’t believe he got to call Cas his boyfriend… his.
But now, now he had to ruin the sweet, soft moment between the two of them. He needed Cas to talk about what happened. He needed to know.
“Cas… baby, we gotta talk… about what happened out there.” Dean said, his voice ranging a bit lower, the more firm, authoritative side coming out.
Cas shifted uneasily from side to side in the bed, his eyes drifting away from Dean, falling onto a random spot on the bed. Dean frowned a little, taking two of his fingers, and tilting Cas’s head up gently, turning his face towards him.
“We have to, sweetheart. I know… I know you don’t want to, but we have to. I need to know what happened.” Dean said, Cas still avoiding eye contact.
“I… okay. Okay…” Cas said, giving in.
Dean leaned back a bit, giving Cas space to come to his senses, and gather his words.
“Dean… when… when the angels fell, I fell with them. I felt my wings scorch to dust, leaving deep, red, burning scars on my back. I felt all the pain, the suffering, the hurt. I felt the way my brothers and sisters felt, felt the way that my heart stopped. When the angels fell, I fell as well. And… and when I was alone, wandering around, no sense of hope, so, so lost in what was happening, a stranger being kind seemed to be the least of my worries. But… she wasn’t kind, and she wasn’t… human. She was a demon, apparently…” Cas whispered the last part of his speech, Dean tensing up a bit.
Dean nodded, though, encouraging him to go on, continue the story.
“She uh… just… hurt me, obviously. That’s all I want to discuss about the topic.” Cas finished. Dean nodded.
He would respect that. He never wanted to push Cas to speak about something that he wasn’t comfortable with.
“Thank you for telling me, Cas.” Dean said softly, grabbing his uninjured hand, twining their fingers together.
Cas nodded, sitting up a little, carefully, and leaning their heads together.
“I’m glad you found me…” Cas whispered. Dean nodded his assent, trying his best to hold Cas closer.
Dean cleared his throat, the emotions choking him like a deadly vice. He doesn’t know, really, what he would do without Cas, he doesn’t know what he would do with himself if he were to get there too late.
“I can hear you thinking… stop that. Don’t think anymore, don’t go into that rabbit hole. I’m here, safe, with you. And we need to remember that.” Cas said.
Dean nodded, clearing his throat once more, pulling away fully once Sam walked into the room. Sam gave an awkward nod to the two of them, turning his body towards Dean, raising an eyebrow. Dean gave a soft smile, nodding, trying to convey the message of ‘Cas is okay’. It seemed to work, seemed to get Sam into action, since he started his speech.
“Uh, well, they said Cas is free to go home at any time, we just gotta sign the discharge papers, and we’re off. Umm, another thing. They said Cas would need to come back in a few weeks to check on his fingers, but other than that, he’s fine.” Dean nodded a bit, grabbing out his phone and jotting down the dates and the times.
“Alright, well, let’s get you out of here, yeah?” Dean said, giving Sam the look, urging him to get out of the room so they’d have some privacy.
Sam got the hint, nodding quickly and hightailing it out of the room, shutting the door behind him on his way out. Dean looked over at Cas, helping him out of the bed gently, and helping him stand.
Cas smiled gently at him, standing on his tip toes, just a smidge, and gave Dean a soft kiss on his cheek. Dean smiled a bit, pushing Cas back slightly, putting them face to face. He took Cas’s face between his hands, leaning in slowly, laying a soft gentle kiss upon his lips.
They both pulled away, Cas laughing softly, Dean doing the same, stepping back and letting Cas do his thing. He watched as Cas undid the ties of the gown, sitting down on the bed and grabbing his clothing. He started with his pants, pulling them up slowly and carefully, the fabric of the denim rubbing against the cuts and bruises covering his skin. Next, he took the sweatshirt, Dean’s sweatshirt to be exact, and pulled it on over his head. Dean went and stood in front of him, hands reaching behind and fixing the hood, laying it flatter against his back. They both stood, Dean getting down on one knee, helping to put Cas’s shoes on, helping to tie them.
Cas laughed a little when Dean pinched the back of his leg, Dean smiling a little. Everything was so easy with Cas. The smiles came easily, the laughs came easily. Just… everything.
They both reached the door, looking at one another.
“Let’s go home, Cas.”
Home.