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Virgil could only watch with fear and sadness as Logan sunk out.
The conversation between the group was nowhere near over, but Logan took that second as his time to leave.
In truth, the logical side thought that he should have left earlier. Or, maybe he should’ve never attended the meeting. It’s not like they’d listen anyway.
But Virgil was now more anxious than usual. He was scared, even. This discussion no longer had the embodiment of Thomas’ voice of reason. Logan wasn’t even on Virgil’s side in this discussion (at least, not completely), but he still didn’t want Logan to leave. In Virgil’s past experiences, Logan was usually right, and him leaving normally made things worse.
Virgil couldn’t help but wonder if Logan’s opinion was the one they should have gone with. Obviously, his was safer, but Logan’s….
The anxious side impatiently waited for the end of the conversation.
When it did eventually finish, he immediately sunk out with the explanation of needing to take a nap.
He appeared outside Logan’s door, knocking as soon as it came into view. He had been waiting to be able to speak to the logical side for a while at this point and was done with patience.
Virgil heard someone close a book behind the door. Nothing else, though, so Virgil knocked again.
“Open up, Pocket Protector,” he ordered, trying to mask his worry with impatience.
“I do not wish to be in the presence of others at this time,” Logan spoke softly.
Virgil rolled his eyes despite his heart cooing at the delicacy of Logan’s voice. “Too bad. As long as you’re not like, indecent or anything, I’m coming in.”
Virgil didn’t hear a response to his statement so he swung the door open. His eyes scanned the room until they fell on Logan, humbly sitting at his desk with a book in his lap. His arms were rested on top of the paperback novel.
Virgil’s eyes narrowed on the smart side and he made his way over to the well-used desk. He leaned against it, crossing his arms across his chest and giving Logan a stern look.
“Why’d you leave?” Virgil asked.
Logan didn’t meet Virgil’s gaze and didn’t answer immediately.
“I haven’t got all day, nerd,” Virgil said. “It may be refreshing to see your face but I still need a damn good explanation for your departure.”
Logan was surprised by the first half of Virgil's final statement, but decided to answer. “You know why.”
“Do I?”
“No one in there cares about me or what I say. They don’t listen-”
“Hey-” Virgil was nowhere near surprised by this statement, but that didn’t mean it didn’t concern him.
“And it’s not like Thomas will do what I suggest anyway.”
“Logan…”
Logan met his gaze, a hard glare in his eyes. Virgil nearly flinched at the intensity.
“Don’t say it isn’t true, because you know it is.”
“It isn’t.”
Logan rolled his eyes.
“It isn’t!” Virgil repeated defiantly. “Everyone in that living room today cares about you.”
“No, they don’t,” Logan disagreed, crossing his arms like Virgil. “They rarely acknowledged I said anything, and when they did, they insulted me. If they do care, they don’t show it well.”
Virgil nodded. Logan had a point. “We show it terribly, you’re right. But that doesn’t mean we don’t care about you or want you around.”
“No one noticed my departure.”
“I literally tried to stop you.”
“You’re not everyone, V.”
Virgil couldn’t help the small smile tug at his face. Logan had never called him that before. He liked it very much. It went well with Virgil calling Logan ‘L’.
“I-I’m sorry, the nic-”
“I know I’m not,” Virgil interrupted, continuing the conversation so Logan couldn’t denounce the nickname or swear to never use it again. “But if I care for you, you can’t claim no one cares for you.”
“That may be true, however-”
“I know we’re really bad at showing our care and love for you-”
“Wait, who said anything about love-?”
“I did. As I was saying, we need to get better at showing our care and love for you. I need to get better. I’m sorry for that.”
“Virgil…”
“I know I’ve been mean in the past—threatening, even. I apologize. That time where I threatened you when Thomas first met Remus? I was scared. I was really scared about what might happen if you were to continue. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”
Logan stared at Virgil for a long second, surprised and in thought. Virgil was the anxious side—a dark side as well. His actions followed in accordance with his function.
“I accept your apology, Virgil.”
Logan figured that Virgil wasn’t as actively focused on not letting Logan speak as often as the other sides. At least, he was making an effort to do better. Accepting his apology made sense to Logan at that moment.
“Also, I’m sorry if I made it seem like I don’t care about what you say, or that I don’t want to listen. You made some very good points today; you always do. What you say often interests me. I don’t mean to make it seem otherwise.”
Logan nodded. “It’s alright, Virgil.”
“No, it’s not.” Virgil disagreed. “It’s gotten so bad that you don’t think we love you.”
Logan shrugged. “You don’t. It’s okay. Thomas doesn’t need me, anyway. He doesn’t listen to me and he’s not dead yet so that’s clear. I…” Logan trailed off, looking back into Virgil’s eyes. He paused for a minute, frowning. “Why did you come here?”
The question threw Virgil off. “What?”
“Why did you come here?” Logan repeated. “I listened in; you said you were going to nap but instead you came here. No one else did. You could have napped. It was just a normal conversation. Why did you pursue this?”
Virgil stared at him for a long second, thinking of a response. “I don’t like it when you leave. It heightens my anxiety.”
“I apologize that that happens, but I can assure you it makes no difference whether I’m there or not. No one cares. It doesn’t matte-”
“See, Logan? Stop,” Virgil interrupted. “It’s really scary for me when you do things like this.”
“Like what?”
“Like leaving!” Virgil exclaimed. “Like saying you don’t matter when you’re Logic; something so crucial to every human being. Like saying we don’t care, that we don’t love you! Why do you think I came here? You fucking scare me, L! That kind of thinking can convince you to do the most terrible things that I shudder to even think about. I don’t want those lies to take hold of you!”
Logan had a pained look in his eye, torn between telling Virgil to dismiss his fears or apologize for causing them.
“I apologize for scaring you, but you shouldn’t care. Thomas doesn’t-”
“I am done with that excuse!” Virgil said strictly, standing straighter. “You don’t get to use it anymore. I don’t care whether Thomas needs you or not. Why? ‘Cause he does. Whether you or he knows it. But it doesn’t matter to me. You know what does matter to me?”
“What?”
“You. So listen here, Teach,” Virgil said sternly, leaning over him. “The others care about you.”
“No, they-”
“And even if they don’t, I do.” He took a deep breath. “Because of that, you can’t say that no one here cares for you or loves you. You’d have to kill me first, and even then, you have the others.”
“But they-”
“All that matters right now is that I want you to stay in our conversations. I want you to know that you matter, goddammit. You not being there scares me. I value your input and I savor your presence. I want you there. I care about you.”
Logan shook his head. “You shouldn’t.”
“Yes, I should!” Virgil pulled Logan to his feet by the tie.
He stared into Logan’s eyes intensely, eyes narrowing and body hunching just a little to get closer to Logan’s face.
“But even if it was true that I shouldn’t, I would,” he continued. “I will get it through your thick, determined skull that you are cared for. And, I will listen to you. I will come to your room every night and you’re gonna tell me about some cool thing you learned, hmm?”
Logan hummed in return, but was still somewhat scared by the angry side in front of him.
“Because I am done panicking over your absences! Okay?”
Logan nodded.
“Now turn on the TV and fucking cuddle me, you loveable bitch.”
Logan could only chuckle at the fact that the words Virgil said varied immensely from his tone. He did as instructed, sitting criss-cross on the bed as he scrolled through Netflix.
He smiled at Virgil as the anxious side trudged over to the bed, looking like he was calming himself down. He sat on the bed, leaning back against the pillows lying against the headboard. He pulled the logical side back from where he was sitting and against his chest. Logan almost squeaked.
“I gotta prove I love you somehow, Pocket Protector,” Virgil grumbled, tightening his hold on the now blushing side.
Virgil put his head on Logan’s shoulder as the logical side decided what to watch.