Chapter Text
Bilbo had not eaten a single thing in a full day and night, nor had he slept when he got the chance to do so.
Understandable… but worrying.
“Master Baggins, you should eat something.” Balin said in his gentle tone, patting the hobbit’s bent back.
“I’m not hungry.” Bilbo muttered. His stomach grumbled, betraying his hunger. Balin raised his eyebrows, both with a bit of exasperation and amusement.
“Come now, laddie,” he said, pulling up a chair and settling down next to the hobbit with a small groan as his injured knee bent. “You will have to eat something sooner or later, you know? And the same goes for sleep; you truly look exhausted.”
“That can wait.” Bilbo said, stifling a yawn. Balin sighed, bending his back and letting his hands rest between his knees. Hobbits could be nearly as stubborn as dwarrows. This included starving themselves for the sake of a friend waking up to not have to find himself alone.
“Well, he won’t be happy if he wakes up to find you half-starved to death.” Balin said after some thought, using the unconscious dwarf before them as an excuse. Bilbo wriggled his nose at the dwarrow’s words.
Ah ha.
“Fine. I’ll eat something.”
“Good! Bombur made a stew a little while back; he is serving it right now. I’ll stay and watch Thorin until you get back.” Balin offered, giving the hobbit a pat on the back as the other got to his feet.
“Thank you."
“No problem. Now, off you go, laddie!”
Bilbo reluctantly got up from his chair. For a moment, his vision swooned and his eyes blurred. He thankfully made it to the tent’s entrance without toppling over, moving aside the flap so he could walk outside. The camp was bussy; both men and dwarrows walked past him along the tents, carrying weapons, supplies and other things as such. The battle had temporarily united them in solidarity, the dwarrows and the men interacting with each other and not throwing wary glances at one another like it would have been. The elves had left hours before, the same applying to the eagles. That had been the only time in which Bilbo had actually set foot outside the tent before then; to watch the eagles fly away along with the rest of the survivors of the battle in silence.
“Bilbo!”
The hobbit turned toward the source of his name just as another person barreled against him, squeezing the air out of him in a hug. Kili laughed in his ear and Bilbo hugged the dwarrow back, relief flooding into him to see the dwarf alive and breathing.
Up until then, he had not known if he had made it, having been separated during the fight.
Kili let go and Bilbo sucked in air.
"Sorry," Kili said with a grin, "I'm just glad to see you made it out alive."
"Same here," Bilbo said, smiling. He glanced behind Kili. If one brother was there, so was the other. But Fili didn't appear to throw himself at the hobbit in a hug.
"And Fili?" he asked. Kili's smile vanished and Bilbo immediately feared the worse until-- "He's unconscious right now. He suffered some mortal injuries, but some elven healers along with Gandalf were able to save his life."
"Thank my furry feet!" Bilbo said. He paused. "Wait. Is Gandalf still here?"
"You sound disappointed," Gandalf's voice said from behind him, as if he had just summoned the wizard. Bilbo turned around to find the Wizard smiling down at him with amusement.
"Not at all!" he cried out. He had assumed that the wizard had left, since he did tend to disappear at the worst times and come back on the nick of time.
Bilbo's thoughts were interrupted by Gandalf ruffling his hair affectionately (it made him feel like a fauntling once more) before excusing himself; he had matters to attend to and words to exchange with both Dain and Bard.
"You better get some food in you." he added, giving Bilbo a knowing look before leaving him with Kili.
"Come on." Kili said, looping an arm around the hobbit's shoulders and grinning wider. "Bombur just finished making a stew. Everyone else is anxious to see you alive."
oOo
Bilbo was ecstatic to find that all the other dwarrows in the Company were alive. They all got up and hugged him as soon as he appeared with Kili, grinning, cheering for the burglar and praising him for his hard work well done. They then sat back down to eat and acted as if the war had never happened, choosing to push it aside and give their minds a little peace among all the chaos. Bilbo ate and didn't say much, preferring to listen to the dwarrows' conversations, offering a comment every now and then.
He was glad that they had all made it out of the mess alive.
"I'll leave now," he announced after having eaten his last spoonful of stew, getting to his feet and leaving the bowl by the other used ones.
"Don't starve yourself, eh? You need to keep up your strength. And get a rest as well," Oin called.
"I will try to," Bilbo replied, turning to leave.
His walk back to the tent was slower than the walk away from it. He wanted to get there soon, but he forced himself to slow down his pace to take some time and breathe in the fresh air. He knew he wouldn't leave the tent unless it was absolutely necessary or until Thorin regained consciousness, which meant he had to make the best of it. He reached the entrance, inhaled the fresh, morning air one last time and then pulled aside the tent flap to enter the tent.
He froze at the entrance.
"…Bilbo?" Thorin said in a scratchy voice, sitting up straighter against his pillows. He held a cup of something in his hands, but it slipped from his grasp and fell. Balin was quick and caught it before it fell to the floor, but the liquid splashed onto the carpeted floor. The white-bearded dwarrow stood up, putting the cup on a side table besides a jug of water.
"He woke up while you were out," he explained to Bilbo, walking to the entrance with a slight limp. "I will leave the two of you to talk."
And then he left Bilbo alone with Thorin.
Bilbo wordlessly walked over to the chair Balin had just been occupying, sitting down and resting his hands on his lap, his overgrown nails digging into his skin to stop them from trembling.
"You look terrible." Thorin said after an uncomfortable silence. Bilbo managed a small smile.
"I imagine." he said.
"Balin told me you sat by my bedside for a day and a night. Without eating. Or sleeping." Thorin sighed. "As much as I wish it weren't true, that sounds like the kind of thing you would do."
"I regret nothing." Bilbo said, making the King chuckle. The action made him wince, his hand going up to his bandaged side. Bilbo leaned forward, hands stretching out to readjust the pillows or something, but Thorin waved him away.
"Can you tell me about what happened? Up in Ravenhill?"
So Bilbo told him how he had gotten knocked out during a fight, having woken up to find everything was calmer around him. He had found Thorin lying face up on the ice, terrifyingly close to death's door as blood leaked from his wound. Gandalf had arrived moments after Thorin had whispered an apology upon seeing Bilbo was with him. The wizard had been able to temporarily slow down the blood flow to keep him alive, calling an eagle to take them to Dale, where camps were being set outside the small city. Bilbo decided not to mention how he had fought tooth and nail when they had separated him from Thorin, only stopping when Gandalf reassured him that Thorin would be okay and that he would let Bilbo see the dwarrow if he let himself be checked by the elven healers.
"Gandalf saved your life," Bilbo concluded, remembering how hard the wizard, Oin and the elven healers had worked to save the King as his life slowly slipped between their fingers like sand.
"Not only Gandalf. So did you, along with the rest of the Company." Thorin said.
"I…" Bilbo fell into a confused silence.
"You made me see sense." Thorin continued. "The only reason that I was able to drag myself away from that damned gold was because I remembered about what you and the rest of the Company had said. Bilbo, I… I'm really sorry. I'm truly sorry. For what I did to you, what I made you go through. I would punch myself if I had enough strength to do so."
"I already forgave you up on Ravenhill," Bilbo said quickly, scandalized at the last sentence.
Bilbo would never admit it-- not even to himself because he couldn't believe it-- but there was a small part in him that still feared the king after having nearly been killed by him. He momentarily recalled the stone pressing against his back painfully, his heart beating madly in his chest, the shouting of the othe dwarrows in his ears as they tried to stop Thorin, the neck of his shirt caught in the dwarrow's fist, his green eyes looking up at his face, pleading as a terrified whimper left his mouth--
Bilbo roughly pushed the memory away.
Stop that! This is not the same Thorin!
"So." the dwarrow said, leaning further back into his pillows and looking up at the ceiling. "What comes next?"
Bilbo looked down at his own, bare feet, flexing and curling his toes as he thought. "I'm not sure. I guess I will return to the Shire."
A silence.
"I feared you would say that." Bilbo glanced up. Thorin still looked up at the ceiling, but his eyes were shut. "I hoped you would choose to stay."
"I... I can't. I'm not a dwarf."
"But think about it."
"Thorin. I can't." Bilbo looked back up at the dwarrow. Thorin was already looking at him, sadness in his blue eyes. Bilbo pressed on. It was unavoidable. It was going to happen sooner or later. "I'm a hobbit. I belong in my smial. And you are a king. And like I am a hobbit that belongs in his smial you are a king who belongs in his mountain.
"I stayed here long enough to be able to say goodbye and see you awake before I felt. Gandalf is in a hurry; I must leave soon if I want to have a safe journey back home."
Thorin smiled sadly. "I understand." A pause. "Just remember that there will always be a place for you in Erebor should you ever want or need it."
"Thank you. I need to go now so I can pack and get ready for the coming journey." the hobbit stood up, turning to shamefully hide the fact that his eyes were watering.
"Bilbo?" Thorin said. Bilbo stopped halfway to the door, turning. "It's been a pleasure to have known you."
"The same goes to you, Thorin."