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Considering they’d been friends for as long as Izuna’s memory went back, it was difficult to pinpoint his “Ah ha” moment as far as Tobirama went.
Well. He had always considered them friends, but Tobirama hadn’t always. Izuna took a sip of his second cup of coffee for the morning, not even feeling the least bit sorry that he’d had an even harder time in his youth with keeping his shit side under control. Sure, friendship to him had been making Tobirama’s life as hellish as possible, but it had been a friendly sort of hell. One with lots of frogs in his bed and dirt in his socks.
...okay so maybe he felt a little bad. Mostly for the poor frogs. And not at all over his loser best friend, who hadn’t even realized they were friends until early high school.
Izuna groaned, pushing his coffee away in favor of burying his face in his hands, trying to drown out the odd mix of feelings that were so rudely invading him as well as the sound of the leaf blower that had been interrupting his morning peace every day for the last three weeks straight . How many leaves could there even be in their yard?
Really, when he sat down and thought about it, it was no wonder Tobirama had taken so long to be any sort of friendly with him. Izuna had been told his whole life to stop getting under people’s skin - but like the genius he was, he’d ignored it and went on having fun being an ass.
And he didn’t even regret it. He drug down on his face as he looked back up, watching the steam off his coffee waft into the air, knowing full well he didn’t regret how he was. Why would he? He was who he was, and that’s just how it was.
What he regretted was that it had taken years to convince Tobirama that they should be - and were - friends, despite how Izuna loved to pick at him and watch his jaw tighten in irritation. And now he had to find a way to convince Tobirama to fuck him into a mattress.
Or maybe start with a date. He flopped back in his chair and let himself slide down in the seat, staring up at the ceiling. A date sounded more ‘normal’. Not that normal was any fun. And last he checked, Tobirama had sniffed all regally and labeled him “Tolerable”, so even a date seemed a bit far fetched.
Damned idiot man and his damned attractive face and damned deep voice. Izuna scowled up at the ceiling that had done him no wrong (that he could remember), and scowled even further because if he was going to scowl like his brother then he might as well try to scowl so deep it became a permanent fixture on his face. Just like his brothers. In for a penny, in for a pound.
...in for a penny, in for a pounding, more like. Izuna straightened himself back up in his seat and went straight for his phone, shrugging off all the indecision and struggling issues he’d just been having - moping around and drowning in his own self misery wasn’t going to get him any dates or dicks, so he might as well do this his own way, the way he’d always done it: with no shame and no time for regrets or second thoughts.
“What.”
Tobirama sounded like he’d just gotten around to his first cup of coffee. Izuna didn’t feel even a little bad over disturbing his morning, especially since the leaf blower that was haunting all of his was now officially Right Outside his kitchen window, blowing his mind into insanity like Tobirama really should be doing.
And now he was thinking of leaf blower innuendos. His life was at an all time high.
“Good morning, princess.” Izuna couldn’t even keep the snicker out of his voice, propping his chin up in the palm of his free hand, already zeroing in on his target. “Doesn’t sound like you slept very well though. If you needed someone to tuck you in last night you could’ve called.”
“What do you want, Izuna?”
This was too easy. Izuna grinned, the tip of his tongue between his teeth, loving the exasperation already in Tobirama’s tone. And loving how well Tobirama set himself up just for him.
“Funny you should ask,” Izuna purred, shifting in his seat, more than ready to pounce on his unsuspecting prey. But he knew better than to be too playful here. Tobirama was thick when it came to people, and any sort of playful tone would go right over his head and make him think Izuna was messing with him.
And Izuna was not messing around. Not this time.
“I want you, in my bed, naked and gasping for me. Or moaning, or screaming, or growling - whichever you prefer, as long as it’s in, hmm…. An hour sound reasonable?” Izuna showed his teeth, his eyes wide with glee at the thought. “I’ll leave the door unlocked for you, Bira.”
And with that, he hung up, not even waiting to hear the end of the half-formed word or noise Tobirama was making. If his luck didn’t fail him, he’d hear plenty of noises from him soon enough anyway - and he had some prepping to do for the occasion.