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Philza Minecraft is having a serious stream.
He didn’t warn anyone about it. There’s no white text on a black background telling people that he has something he needs to say. Nobody in chat even knows what they did, and there are too many theories being thrown out for any single one to take hold. But none of those things can change the stream title.
Somehow, the countdown passes as usual.
Somehow, when Phil appears on screen, he is smiling.
“Hello, chat!” He laughs. “Sorry about that title. It’s nothing that you guys did, although if you want it to be I’m sure that I could make a long fucking list. I just wanted to keep you all on your toes. And now, of course, I expect absolute silence while I make my announcement.”
If emote spam counts as absolute silence, then he gets his wish.
“You’re all disasters,” Phil mutters. Then he goes silent for a few seconds, the click of his mouse the only noise.
“Should have pulled this thing up beforehand. Use this time to get ready, guys. It’s gonna-- well, I’ll just say that it’s gonna be a fucking long one. ”
Philza Minecraft takes a deep breath. He is very, very bad at holding back his emotions, but his smile is hidden enough to make chat question it.
“All good? Okay, here we fucking go!”
After this, he’ll probably have to change his canonical last name. That doesn’t really matter to him. He hopes that Twitch is willing to make a new category for him, though, because Philza Just Chatting isn’t nearly as accurate as it could be.
He’s let the tension build up enough. Phil lets chat enjoy their last moment of peace, and then he opens his mouth.
“A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 2009, is this young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!
“What will the name of this young man be?”
