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Only Brave Before You

Summary:

Heroism. A snapping of fingers. Death.

Notes:

THANK YOU to all who read/click this! You are amazing and make my day SO BRIGHT! I adore each and every one of you! <3!

Big thank you to GlassesOfJustice for running this exchange!

A treat for LF - thank you SO MUCH for following me on Tumblr and introducing me to this wonderful group chat. I love your fics like crazy and can only hope you get some sort of enjoyment from this one. <3!

Work Text:

As the battle continues to explode around him, Tony knows what he must do.

It is not a comfort to know his sacrifice will mean something for the world, for the universe out there that he hasn’t gotten to explore. He still feels like he has so much more to accomplish. So much more life to live. So much more to give.

But the wizard saw the future, Tony’s future, and Tony can’t deny the universe’s will. 

The Infinity Stones are now within his possession.

All he needs to do now is snap his fingers.

Somewhere inside him he wants to hesitate, to find another way, any way, to end the slaughter and Thanos’ rule and turn back the forces bearing down on them.

But he doesn’t hesitate.

Tony slowly presses his fingers closer and closer together. Ready to do what is necessary.

Peter materializes before him. A Peter he barely recognizes.

Tony’s arms drop to his sides and he blinks a few times, sure he is hallucinating. Maybe he hit his head without remembering.

“Pete?”

Peter stands in front of Tony, years older than the young kid that he hugged only a short time ago on the battlefield. This Peter stands confidently, without a hint of the nervousness that Tony’s Peter displays when he’s trying to be brave.

Suddenly and with dread, Tony understands.

“How – why – what have you…”

Peter cuts Tony off by roughly grabbing at him, pulling him into a quick, yet harsh kiss. Stepping backward, Peter takes in Tony’s shocked face.

“I know how to save you, Mr. Stark.”

The Infinity Stones, held in the Iron Man gauntlet, are now transferred into the device on Peter’s arm. 

Peter snaps his fingers.

He smiles at Tony.

“Peter! No!” Tony yells, trying to get up and move towards him, fingers barely brushing over the arm of Peter’s suit.

He needs to fix this.

To save him somehow.

The Mad Titan lies dead on the ground, most of his forces retreating, only a few stragglers left behind.

Peter engages what can only be his time travel device and disappears as quickly as he had appeared before Tony’s eyes.

He has no idea what Peter’s snap did to the universe. And now he will probably never know.

He collapses down to his knees, taking a deep, shaky breath in, struggling to come to terms with the last few moments. Tony’s eyes betray him, tears welling up, and a single tear slips down his dirty face.

He feels empty.

Like all the life has been sucked out of him. Like he expects the Infinity Stones would have left their mark on him.

The end of the fight continues to rage on around him.

All he hears is the beating of his broken heart.

He can only think of one thing. One person.

Peter.

***

A few years later, on New Year’s Eve, Tony receives a surprising visit in his lab.

Peter.

He’s back.

The older Peter is back.

He’s not dead.

He looks different, not like the confident man on the battlefield. He is more mature yes, but there is a melancholy lingering around him, haunting his eyes.

Tony wants to smile. Yearns to run over and wrap this Peter in his arms just like he does with his Peter.

He’s not dead!

Tony stays seated.

They look at each other.

Neither of them speak.

***

Tony is not the same.

Tony’s life is not the same.  

It hasn’t been the same since that day on the battlefield, the ruins of the Avenger’s compound surrounding him and a war going on in the background while Tony was prone on his knees, shocked and horrified by the events of the older Peter.

The Peter he knows is dead.

Dead and probably alone somewhere, having been wrecked by the energies of the Stones.

A fate that was never Peter’s to carry.  

And it tore at Tony’s heart every day to remember it was supposed to be him. It was supposed to be his life that ended. His story that had finally come to an end, even if he desperately wanted another option.  

He never wanted the older Peter to die in his place.

Tony is falling back into destructive habits, unable to fully explain the gaping hole in his heart, even to the ones closest to him.

Soon the guilt is consuming him all the time.

Pepper left for good this time.

Unable to live her life with a ghost of a man.

His friends, still including Pepper, try to pry him out of his new penthouse but Tony barely listens. He only leaves to see his daughter and even then his emotions spill over, plainly written in his body language. She’s smart, she probably knows something is wrong with him.

He can’t deny it.

And he doesn’t know how to fix it.

He is not good to be around.

This, this feeling is worse than the first time Peter died in his arms.

And that broke him in a completely different way.

At least that Peter he got back.      

There is no happy endings after the endgame. 

***

But now. Now everything is different.

Peter is alive.

He somehow survived manipulating the Infinity Stones.

Tony can’t believe it. But he is so incredibly grateful to the universe for bringing Peter back to him.

Tony slowly stands up from his stool, the screeching sound loud in the room, gradually moving step by tentative step towards Peter.

Peter does not step back.

Once they are standing barely a foot apart, face-to-face, they stare into each other’s eyes without a sound.

Emotion passes between them.

Everything they can’t say.

All the fear and guilt and wretchedness. The moment they can’t share with anyone else. The moment everything changed for both of them.

They find a solace in each other in these minutes of shared intimacy, emotions entirely on display for the other to see.

No need to hide their pain now that they have someone that is able to fully understand their anguish.

Peter looks away first, eyes glassy, staring at the various projects and parts scattered throughout Tony’s lab.

Tony swallows painfully, the emotions between them raw and unleashed, the first trickle of tears staining his face. He can’t take it anymore, he must have Peter closer to him. 

He takes that last step into Peter’s space and clutches at Peter, hauling him into his chest, hugging him hard, head buried in Peter’s neck. Tears streaming down his distraught face.  

He doesn’t think he can ever let go now.

Peter’s arms come up, holding on just as tightly to him, fingers roughly digging into Tony’s sweater clad back. Tony doesn’t even care that he’ll have finger-shaped bruises scattered across his back tomorrow.  

It means this is real.

They stand there, faces nuzzled into necks, tears falling unencumbered down their cheeks, holding each other for long minutes.

Gradually, Peter pulls his head slightly away, arms still encircling Tony, just moving to make enough space to look him in the eyes.  

“Can I kiss you?” Peter asks, eyes flicking down to Tony’s plush lips then back to his eyes.

“Yes.” Tony brushes his fingers over Peter’s tear-streaked cheek, gently wiping away the moisture with his thumb. “Of course you can, Peter.”

Peter leans into Tony again, chests resting against each other, and barely caressing Tony’s supple lips with his own.

It is the opposite of the harsh kiss they had undergone on the battlefield.

This kiss they equally share.

Tony tilts his head, managing a better angle and deepening the kiss, soft lips sliding against smooth lips, Tony biting lightly into Peter’s bottom lip.

Peter moans and falls into the kiss.

Tony draws back just a touch to smile against Peter’s lips. He hopes he will have many more chances to make Peter sound like that again from just a kiss.

“I’m sorry I didn’t ask permission last time,” Peter quietly apologizes, resting his forehead against Tony’s shoulder.  

“You’re forgiven.” Tony slips his fingers into Peter’s hair, tugging until they are looking at each other again.  

“Just don’t make a habit of it and we’re good.”

“I promise.”

“Now, come here,” Tony requests, bare hand sliding down from Peter’s hair until it stops at the sensitive skin of Peter’s neck. He tilts their heads towards each other once more; it takes only a second for Peter to catch up, arms squeezing around Tony’s torso, a slight nod in the affirmative and they are kissing yet again.   

Minutes pass with the slick sounds of lips against lips, moans spilling forth from barely parted mouths, the sliding of Peter’s finger’s on the skin above his pants raising goose pimples over Tony’s body.

Tony kisses Peter, again and again, then moves on to the area of skin right under his jaw, a sound like a complaint spilling forth from his love.

Tony smiles against warm skin.

Peter groans, little fingernails jabbing into the bare skin of Tony’s hips, showing his pleasure at the new sensation.  

Tony gives one last kiss over Peter’s throat, drawing himself away from temptation.

“Why’d you stop?” Peter whimpers, pressing their bodies closer together while long, sticky fingers keeps the two of them bonded together.

Tony smirks, both hands cupping Peter face, leaning in and kissing him quickly on the mouth.

“We have plenty of time for more of that, Pete. But let’s move this to somewhere more comfortable.”

Peter sighs, reluctantly removing his fingers.  

They untangle themselves gradually. Tony takes Peter’s hand, needing to keep constant contact, and pulling him across the lab until they get to the sofa tucked into the corner.

There is various detritus sprawled across the couch, leaving no room for anyone to sit down. Tony hurriedly shuffles it all to the floor, one hand still grasping onto Peter, reluctant to let go for even a second, afraid he will disappear before his eyes again.

Once Tony is done, they curl up together on the lab sofa, clutching at each other, Tony’s head resting on Peter’s torso, arms draped over each other, their fingers intertwined.

“I love you, you know that, right?” Peter whispers into Tony’s ear.

Tony tips his head up, looking into Peter’s eyes, hand clutching at Peter’s shirt, afraid this is all a dream.

“I do now. I love you, too, Pete.”

Peter smiles down at Tony, warm hand rubbing up and down his back. They kiss languidly for a few minutes, then Tony lays his head back down on Peter’s chest.  

Tony listens to the beat of Peter’s heart, letting it begin to fix the broken shards within him.

They will have so much to go over. So much to figure out about how this relationship between them will work.

But in this moment none of that matters.

This is the best New Year’s Eve of Tony’s life.