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with a swift flick from his wrist, the blue fan smoothly unfolds. tracing from the delicate fingers holding the handle, one’s eyes land on the sun-colored ones looking back. an angelic glow shines down on him as sunlight hits sea-blue hair. the slight wrinkle on the side of those eyes indicated that this person is happy about something.
“rumors that there’s an evil spirit near the hills of luhua pool.” a strong voice reaches his ears, though faint. his eyes focus on the figure, his mind finally recognizing the person standing in front of his door.
chongyun blinks. xingqiu snaps his fan close, a wide smile showing on his face as he holds his best friend’s hand within his.
“let’s go!”
˚୨୧⋆｡ —
it’s not xingqiu’s fault for dragging chongyun out without knowing he barely had enough energy to open the door. how could he have known the ice boy had been sleep-deprived, when he lit up like a lightbulb the moment xingqiu mentioned the rumor? granted, he knew chongyun would never pass up an opportunity to do a proper exorcism, but the point is — there weren't any hints that xingqiu shouldn't have dragged him out today.
it’s not like he hadn’t noticed how low-spirited chongyun was. the usual feet-dragging boy seemed like he couldn't even walk in a straight line today, much less fight an actual spirit. countless times had xingqiu ask if he was fine, and that they should turn back for the day, but chongyun just shook his head each time and assured that he was okay to continue.
and darn was he determined to show he was okay. xingqiu would catch him lightly slapping his own cheeks, perking up at the most random things, aggressively chomping on a popsicle, or muttering things like “wow the breeze.. it’s good” at nothing. xingqiu couldn't help but find it a little endearing behind the growing worry. luckily, they managed to avoid any hilichurls or treasure hoarders who looked for trouble.
still, a break seemed necessary after climbing the roundabout path around luhua pool. xingqiu wordlessly places the lunchbox that xiangling had prepared for them beside a broken tree branch sturdy enough to be sat on. the spot overlooked the beautiful scenery, which was the main reason xingqiu had chosen this place to stop at. chongyun stands a little distance away, popsicle stick still in his mouth, eyes looking a little confused if not tired.
“let’s take a break.” xingqiu clarifies, sitting down on the tree branch.
“but… aren't we close?” chongyun pouts, head tilting in question.
xingqiu would respond with ‘yes, but you look like you need one’, however he knows his best friend would just insist on continuing, so instead, he replies with “i’m hungry.” chongyun just nods and sits beside him. neither say anything else as xingqiu starts to unpack the lunchbox, as well as pick up where he left off on the book he brought.
the turquoise of the water mixes in with the blue of the skies, creating a picturesque painting stretching out beyond the cliff. basking in the fair weather, munching on delicious rice balls, engaging book in hand; this is a moment of solitude, with the small exception of spending it with the person one’s closest to. if he were to close his eyes and take in the sounds of the pool, the wildlife, and the wind, he could almost forget why they were out here in the first place. such a quiet moment was rare in the life of a heir to the feiyun commerce guild. he picks up his book, disconnecting himself from reality.
an unknown amount of time seemed to pass while xingqiu was properly invested in the book. he knew chongyun would start whining about resting for too long once he’s ready, so he hadn't bothered to keep track of the time. it was only when he felt something rest against his shoulder did his eyes finally leave the words on the pages. turning his head, he’s met with a head of light blue.
oh, he’s fallen asleep.
keeping a chuckle to himself, xingqiu bends a little to see the expression on the sleeping boy. yep, his eyes were closed shut alright. besides that, he sees chongyun’s unguarded face for once; how his cheeks squish, how his mouth forms a small pout, how.. kissable the forehead looks.
wah!! xingqiu looks away in a blink of an eye, hiding his own flaming face behind his book. you can't think like that; that’s your best friend!
well.. sure, that’s the title chongyun possesses currently, but god knows what xingqiu really thought of that boy inside. he had long recognized that what he feels for him had been more than what is normally shared within friendships. he knew chongyun was no longer just a best friend in his eyes since ages ago. he knew he wanted to do things that couples do with this very boy, but-
“mhm..” a soft murmur was heard from his shoulder. xingqiu snaps out of his inner conflict and lowers his book. chongyun seemed to have shifted even closer to him. his body is tilted towards him, hands wrapped around his arm. their hands laid so close to each other; xingqiu instinctively intertwined the other’s hand in his.
strange, the thumping in his ears seemed to have grown even louder — his cheeks seemed to have grown even hotter. isn't this a thing that couples do? is this even allowed? but he’s not the one who-
deep breaths, xingqiu. exhale slowly. if he could, he would yell.
i love him!! his mind screams at him. he knows that — he wants to tell him this — yet all he can do now is either stay composed or die in unrequited feelings. xingqiu decides to change his perspective — there’s no one else here. the cloudless skies above, the warm grass below, the clear waters lapping on the poolside, the few squirrels that scurry about now and then, and them. this would be a moment that is eternally special to only him — he’s the only one who would remember this. this feels right, his heart tells him. he knows that.
his eyes gaze back on the sleeping boy. still very much asleep, though his neck may be bent in an awkward angle.
“isn't this a little uncomfortable to sleep in..?” the thought comes out as a whisper. carefully moving so chongyun doesn't get woken up, xingqiu gently lays his head on his own lap. the unconscious chongyun seemed to appreciate it, as a smile shows itself on his face. one’s hand traces the features of his face softly, his only thought being how adorable the boy looks when his brows weren't furrowed, or when his lips weren't frowning to keep emotions behind a guarded mask. it’s a shame that he never sees this face often, but perhaps chongyun has his reasons.
after staring for a while, xingqiu turns his attention back on the discarded book beside him. he tries his best to continue reading, his mind definitely not staying hyper aware about how soft chongyun’s hair feels on his fingers.
˚୨୧⋆｡ —
“...hm?” a soft mutter from the laps makes xingqiu stop attempting to read almost immediately. he shifts the book away to look down at a sleepy-eyed chongyun staring back. the sight causes a soft smile to form on his face.
“you're awak-” he tries to move his hand away from his hair, but is interrupted by chongyun’s own hand catching it in motion, the sudden grip making xingqiu let out a gasp. chongyun, however, just leads his hand back on his head, sighing with his eyes closed like it was a normal thing to do.
what. “yu-yun?”
the boy with a slight blush opens his eyes again. “where are we..?”
“luhua-”
“..is this a dream…” his eyes droop close again. ah- i see! he must be still half-asleep (just how sleep-deprived was he?). this is a great chance for a prank!
“yes, and i’m in your dream.”
“that’s a nice dream…” chongyun lets out a sheepy giggle. “..anything with you is good.”
well — it would be a great chance — if xingqiu’s heart didn't sound like one of those crazy drummers hammering away in one of those festive performances. his head is blank — there’s no ideas for a good prank at all. all he can do is continue combing through chongyun’s hair and hope he doesn't drown.
“can i tell you something?”
“yeah..? speak your mind.”
“i can tell you anything, right? this is a dream… the real you won't hear it, right?”
“..sure.”
those sky blue eyes seemed like they were wide open now, though xingqiu knew he was still in a dream-like state, judging by the cloudiness in his eyes. “...i’m glad you found me.”
where did this come from?! xingqiu is starting to think agreeing that it was a dream was a bad idea. he’d almost apologized to him if chongyun hadn't been quicker in speaking.
“there’s something about you that makes me feel.. safe. i can go anywhere with you. i can do anything if you’re there. you give me all the right answers, all the right advice. i couldn't ask for a better...” his eyes droop again, mouth forming the frown he usually wears. “i wish… i could tell you.”
xingqiu changes his mind. “hm, tell me what? you can tell me, the xingqiu of your dreams, anything.”
chongyun adverts his eyes, before raising his arms to cover the top half of his face. he mutters something muffled that xingqiu doesn't hear.
“pardon?”
the sleepy boy repeats a little louder, the three words that shouldn't be uttered within his presence. “i like him.”
“..what do you mea-”
he uncovers his face then, arms outstretched towards the sky. “i like him more than a friend!”
“more- than a friend?”
“somedays i want to stand atop a cliff, in a place where no one else could hear me but the ocean, and shout ‘i’m in love with my best friend!’”
eh? was he hearing things? did he really just hear chongyun say those words with his own voice? words that he’d wanted to say for himself, phrases that he’d never have admitted, chongyun had said it all out loud for him. unconsciously, his fist clenches.
“then.. tell him. you don't have to find a cliff. you don't have to shout it out.” i would have liked to hear that.
“...i wish i had the balls to tell him.” chongyun replies, slowly getting up. his hair is ruffled and messy, which adds to the adorable factor he currently had on him. “i wish this dream didn't have to end..”
...good thing this is a dream, huh?
“chongyun,” the other turns around at his name. “did you mean that?”
“..yes.”
“close your eyes.”
“okay…?” he obediently closes them. xingqiu doesn't really know what he’s doing anymore, not since when chongyun had fallen asleep, not since the moment he’d heard those words. he raises the open book to cover the space between them, all thoughts fading out of his mind as he closes the distance, connecting lips to lips.
he hears a sharp intake coming from chongyun, before he relaxes into the kiss. though it felt wrong, that they shouldn't be doing this while one of them wasn't fully conscious, it still felt nice. chongyun pulls away for a brief moment, tilting his head slightly and slotting their mouths perfectly once more — as well as flushing away all rational thoughts in that moment. lips move, one bites playfully, another smiles into it. it feels so natural that xingqiu had forgotten what they really were.
he wishes this dream, in which they were something they were not, didn't have to end either.
xingqiu pulls away. chongyun chases after for a bit, but is stopped by a hand on his shoulder. he shouldn't do this. even for a prank, this feels way too genuine; so much so that it doesn't feel like a prank anymore. if chongyun were sincere about all that he said, then doing such things would be okay while they were both awake and aware; aware of their positions, aware of the changing label of their relationship between each other. the more xingqiu stared into chongyun’s eyes, the more he realizes he wants all this to be real, not a dream.
“hey.. what is xingqiu to you?” the question comes out before any thoughts could stop it.
“um…” the icy boy leans back, his blush in full view. “more than a friend.”
both of them knew the answer, but still, “a best friend?”
he shakes his head. “no, more than that.”
“do you wanna do that again?”
“the-” he whips his head around, yet his eyes still look somewhere else. “..ye-yeah.”
“then do it when you aren't dreaming, sleepyhead.” xingqiu stands up.
“isn't it because it’s a dream that i could do something like this?” he hears chongyun mutter behind him. it makes him pause in his movements, surprised by yet another string of words he never expected chongyun to say aloud.
xingqiu turns back to him, placing his hands around chongyun’s face. “what if it doesn't stay a dream?”
“...do you really think something like that could happen?”
he pats one of his cheeks, not saying anything else.
“thanks… xingqiu of my dreams…” chongyun manages to get out before his eyes start drooping again. uh oh- don't fall asleep again! unfortunately, that’s exactly what he does, as the boy nods off into a state of unconsciousness once more. xingqiu lets out a sigh; he’s going to have to carry him home.
˚୨୧⋆｡ —
thinking back, none of that was normal at all, was it?
perhaps, their relationship has already shifted into something else, something more, long ago.
well, at least that’s for certain now. xingqiu walks home with a smile on his face that he can't seem to wipe off.
˚୨୧⋆｡ —
“xingqiu,”
“yeah?”
“yesterday.. i didn't say anything weird, right?”
“hmm.. why?”
chongyun’s fingers fiddle on the table, teeth biting his bottom lip instinctively. there’s a weird tension between them today, sitting at one of the corner tables at wangshu inn. “i had an, uh.. oddly vivid dream.”
the guhua kid tilts his head against his palm playfully, raising a brow. “oh? what do you remember from yesterday?”
“uhh… i just remember us going somewhere uphill.. then i fell asleep — which i'm sorry for by the way,” chongyun clasps his hands together in an apologetic gesture. “i underestimated how tired i was…”
“it’s okay, it was my fault for dragging you out as well.” xingqiu giggles. something in chongyun heats up at the sight. “what happened after? in your dream, i mean.”
chongyun diverts his gaze. there’s absolutely no way he could tell xingqiu what that dream contained. all those words he said? all the thoughts he let out of the bottle labelled ‘feelings’? the better choice here would be to lie. “never mind, i don't remember it that well after all.” aish, why won't his face stop heating up?
“i see…” xingqiu switches from meeting chongyun’s eyes to looking at the menu in his hand, his expression looking rather conflicted. oh, did he assume chongyun didn't trust him enough? or…
“are you sure… nothing weird happened?”
“don't worry your little head,” he calmly closes the menu and places it on the table. “nothing happened.”
chongyun releases a sigh of relief.
“that confession was cute though.”
wait. “what?”
being the little brat that he is, xingqiu turns around and calls a waitress over, as if he didn't say anything out of the ordinary at all. bastard, he lied! chongyun could feel himself shaking while he waited for the other boy to finish ordering, the smug smile on his face becoming a little irritating to see.
after ordering for the both of them and dismissing the waitress, xingqiu turns back to him. “so, where were we?” if this were a scene in a comic book, there’d be music notes and flowers all around xingqiu’s frame.
chongyun sighs. no use getting upset about it; it’d just trigger bad things to happen. “you.. heard me sleep talking then…”
“oh no, dear bestie. you weren't sleep talking.” the playful boy cuts in with a wink. “the whole dream wasn't a dream at all.”
all those words he said…. his mind echoes. now all chongyun wants to do is bury himself in the river next to the inn and hopefully never see the light of day again. “great.”
the other boy starts giggling at his response, eventually escalating to a full-hearted laughter; the same laughter that chongyun would get whenever he fell for any of his pranks. the way he laughed made him want to laugh at himself too. how stupid..
“ah… i did feel bad for you halfway, though! i'm not that horrible.” xingqiu wipes a tear away, calming down. he looks at chongyun, with earnest eyes this time, and takes his hands within his own. “chongyun, was everything you said.. true?”
so what if it is? he can't take it back now. chongyun stares at their connected hands on the table, aware of the blush that's slowly forming on his cheeks as he thinks of a reply.
“... you know i can't lie to you.” so if you want to reject, do it now, where it hurts less than any other time.
instead, a genuine smile takes its place on xingqiu’s expression. “don’t you remember what dream xingqiu said? i like you too, you know.” huh. that's a response he wasn't expecting. xingqiu starts idly playing with chongyun’s fingers, like it was a natural thing to do. or maybe it is. “yes, it was kind of unfair that i heard your confession while you weren't fully conscious, but you have no idea how much assurance it gave me. to hear every single one of my thoughts about you, spoken by your own mouth...” the gentle hold turns into a grip. “i guess, i’ve just been scared to admit the existence of these feelings all this time, but now, thanks to yesterday, i can confidently let them be known to you.”
chongyun doesn't really know how to respond. he wasn't even expecting anything like this when he first realized he was in love with his best friend. 'you don't have to find a cliff. you don't have to shout it out.' that’s what xingqiu had said to him yesterday. coming to awareness that he had basically answered his confession in a way chongyun thought was impossible — acceptance.
his mouth works faster before his mind could take anything back. “i really like you, xingqiu.” words he never thought he could say to that boy were finally, finally let out.
surprise flashes on xingqiu’s face. “that was- a little random.” the surprise switches to a genuine smile “i’m in love with you too.”
relief. weight seemed to suddenly disappear from his shoulders. this isn't a dream. this is real. at that moment, his memory plays forward like a video clip, remembering the moment right after…
“about the… thing…”
“oh, the kiss?” xingqiu replies like it was nothing. “i guess i did say we could do it again when you’re actually awake.” he giggles. how does he just seem to read chongyun’s mind every time?
his eyes focus on their hands still in a tangle on the table. ahh, embarrassing.
caught by surprise, chongyun suddenly finds himself being kissed. though it was just a quick peck, it somehow managed to suck out all the hesitation and panic that he was filled with just a minute ago. it felt almost the same as it had in the ‘dream’; right, like this is what they should have been doing since ages ago.
“another…” chongyun mutters the moment xingqiu sat back down. he seemed to want to comply, but food just had to arrive at that moment.
“later, okay? eat first.” an angelic glow shines down on him as sunlight hits sea-blue hair. the slight wrinkle on the side of those eyes indicated that this person is happy about something.
yeah, chongyun was more than okay with that.