Chapter Text
He can’t sleep.
The only sound in the room is Jangjun and Seungmin’s soft, slow breathing, the two fast asleep from hours ago. Sungyoon groans silently, burying his face into his pillow, full of envy. He’s dead-tired, why can’t he fall asleep?
Five minutes pass before Sungyoon gives up in trying to be lulled to sleep, instead rolling onto his back to stare at the ceiling. His body may be tired, but his brain is wide awake. He wishes it could shut up and let him rest for once.
Well then, if he can’t sleep, he may as well succumb to the will of his brain.
His thoughts wander, thinking from his family to his dog to dance practice tomorrow and then against his will, settling on one certain person: Joochan. Sungyoon grimaces. This is why he wants to fall asleep; otherwise, he won’t be able to stop thinking of the other. Stop thinking about him. Anything but him.
His brain doesn’t agree and he finds that he can’t stop thinking about when Joochan had yanked him down weeks ago before their comeback stage and kissed him as if his life depended on it. That had certainly thrown him for a loop, too surprised to even blush as Joochan had just grinned afterward like it was nothing and said “fighting!” He’d watched the other walk away to chat with Donghyun, fingers touching lips and pondering when the fuck this development had happened and when had he missed it.
Thinking of it now hurts Sungyoon’s brain once again. Ever since then, Joochan hasn’t made any advances: he’s been touchy like he always is with Sungyoon, but—nothing else. No mention of the kiss, no mention of where their relationship stood. There’s no doubt that Sungyoon himself is quite in love with Joochan, and it has him wondering, had he been that obvious and pathetic, that Joochan had noticed? Had the kiss been one out of pity? Had-
Sungyoon sits upright, forcing his thoughts to quiet. He heaves a sigh. There’s no way he’ll be able to fall asleep now, with thoughts full of Joochan swimming in his mind. Might as well get himself a drink.
Silently tiptoeing out of the room, he slips into the hallway, making his way down to their kitchen and sitting room. The room is pitch dark—he gropes along the walls, cheering silently when his hand grasps at the switch, flicking it on. And proceeds to almost scream bloody murder at three AM.
Papers strewn about his lap and eyes wide as if he’s been caught watching porn, Joochan stares at Sungyoon with wide eyes, clearly shocked by his appearance before he gives a tentative wave. “Hyung. What’re you doing this late at night?”
Sungyoon swallows. What bad luck he must have to run into the very person who’s been clouding his thoughts, the very person who he has been trying to distract himself from. He suddenly doesn’t feel the need to get a drink anymore. “That’s my question.” He glances at the clock. “It’s three AM and your practice for your musical is tomorrow. Shouldn’t you be in bed?”
Joochan hopelessly gestures to the papers strewn about. “Just going over my lines once more,” he mumbles. The older raises a brow.
Once more? He’s willing to bet that Joochan’s revised his lines over a dozen times in the span of the last hour alone. Without a word, he silently makes his way to Joochan on the couch, taking a seat next to him. He doesn’t say anything for a while, instead leaning his head on a palm as he observes the younger, taking into account the heavy slump of Joochan’s back, the fingers that twitch every then and now, the shadows that bruise his eyes. Worry pricks Sungyoon. Joochan is clearly exhausted.
He observes for a little longer, watching Joochan mutter lines furiously, his lips forming sloppier and sloppier words, lashes fluttering as he fights sleep. Sungyoon’s gaze falls to Joochan’s lips. At this distance, with the room devoid of anyone, all he would have to do is lean forward a little, nudge Joochan’s chin a little, and he’d be able to kiss-
Joochan shifts, a yawn falling from the lips Sungyoon had been staring at, snapping him out of his thoughts. He shakes his head furiously. No more of that. Right now, what’s important is that he gets Joochan to bed.
“Joochan-ah,” he calls out gently. When all he gets is Joochan scowling at the papers harder and whispering lines more fiercely, he leans forward just as he had imagined a moment ago, grasping at Joochan’s chin to turn his head. Their eyes meet, concerned on startled. Sungyoon’s breath stutters for a moment.
Joochan’s eyes that had been heavy and lidded moments ago are now wide and alert, his eyes darting over Sungyoon’s face, the realization of their sudden close proximity hitting him. “W-what is it, hyung?”
Sungyoon battles the urge to close the distance between them and return the kiss Joochan had given him weeks ago. Instead, he asks, “when was the last time you slept?” Joochan stares at him, at his lips, for a few seconds too long, and Sungyoon can see his sleep-addled brain working to process his words. The fact that the younger has to think over his question to answer it is concerning enough.
“I slept a little in the practice room yesterday-” Sungyoon shakes his head.
“A proper sleep. In your bed. In your nightclothes.” Joochan’s expression turns sheepish, giving him enough information. He sighs. “Go to bed, Joochannie.” Joochan immediately moves away, ripping his chin out of Sungyoon’s grip.
“No! I know you’re worried, hyung, but I can’t afford to sleep right now—it’s important for me to make sure everything is perfect and keep our group image intact-”
“And we can’t have a group member struggling because of exhaustion.” Sungyoon’s gaze softens. “You’re going to do just fine, I’ve heard you practicing.” In a surge of unexpected courage, he stands up, extending a hand towards Joochan. “Come, let’s sleep together.”
Joochan stares at his extended hand, then at his face. The twitch of his fingers has increased in their rate, his surprise and nervousness at the older’s request apparent. “That’s-” He hesitates, something unreadable in his eyes before he takes Sungyoon’s hand. A pleased smile touches Sungyoon’s lips. He tugs the younger up, hauling him into his arms.
“You’re a hypocrite, talking about needing sleep, you know,” Joochan mumbles from where he has his face buried in Sungyoon’s neck, who chuckles. In another surge of courage, he plants a kiss to the crown of Joochan’s head, the younger stiffening at the bold move. Panic shoots through Sungyoon and he’s about to step back and regret every single word and action when Joochan melts into his embrace, arms coming up to wrap around Sungyoon’s torso, who sags in relief.
“That’s me and this is you. And not only is there an important day for you tomorrow, but all of us. Don’t worry us.”
When the members wake one by one the next day, they’re greeted by the sight of Joochan’s empty bed, devoid of the loud, boisterous boy. A quick search finds him fast asleep and curled against Sungyoon’s chest, lips a cute pout, hands clinging to the other’s shirt.