Chapter Text
The feeling Jiang Cheng got when Wen Ruohan was finally killed was indescribably strange. Was it over? Would everyone be in peace? What things would be the same and what would change from here? The truth is, he only knew that nothing would ever be the same. Everyone was exhausted, wearing tired, yet victorious grins, the fatigue transforming into cheers of pride and martial uproar.
The Wen dogs have lost!
Everything was blurry to Jiang Cheng. His dead parents, his suddenly powerful sworn brother, his older sister he wanted to protect, the betrayals, the battles, the war itself… he was going to end up qi deviating if he continued to run from one place to another, from one emotion to the next in less than two seconds. He needed to rest, so that’s what he did. Allowed himself to get properly healed, rested in between victory banquets and checked up on his sect via letters. Politics were even more relevant in times where the war embers were still too hot to carelessly touch. Even he himself considered his being something still boiling, still burning from the wounds that Sunshot Campaign left on him.
There was a point at which Jiang Cheng snarled at everyone that crossed his way. His soul wasn’t purified at that time, consumed by the dark environment and the constantly tense atmosphere. His temper was even more dangerous, but now he felt like he was just made to give commands and sight heavily once people were out of his sight. He was tired, sad, traumatized and… and something he couldn’t quite grasp just yet.
One of those nights, in Lanling, Jin Guangshan and Jin Guangyao had hosted another luxurious banquet in Jinlintai. But Jiang Cheng excused himself midway through it, to walk around. He needed some air in his head, after being stuck with mist and revolving thoughts every now and then. Jiang Yanli had seen him leave, so she also excused herself to find her brother at the gardens, near the entrance of the place.
“Need some air?” she asked, softly. Jiang Cheng jumped and tried to justify himself, yet her sister just smiled and caressed his cheek. “It’s okay, A-Cheng. We all need space after such recent events.”
Jiang Cheng couldn’t even get to huff at Yanli’s comment, so he just sighed. “Yes. I think I need a whole lake of space to recover.”
Yanli nodded, comprehendingly. “You’re not the only one. A-Xian also was very tired.”
“He’s probably annoying Hanguang-jun or getting drunk off his ass with Chifeng-zun right now,.” Jiang Cheng sneered. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”
“Hey!” Yanli started chuckling, elbowing Jiang Cheng lightly and making him smile too. “If you were there you wouldn’t be allowed to make such comments.”
“Huaisang gets to make them in front of Chifeng-zun himself, what’s the difference?” he complained in mock offense, letting out chuckles as well. Their laughter continued on for a few seconds until both were silent again.
(When was the last time he had laughed, even just a little?)
“Where are you going?” Yanli finally asked. “You’re wearing your cape.”
Jiang Cheng instinctively looked down at the lotus brooch that was clasped on his deep purple cape, special for those chilly winter days. “I really need to walk around, A-Jie. Jinlintai won’t be enough. This place is so repetitive nowadays it makes me sick.”
Yanli pouted once again, staring at her brother’s saddened facial expression. She knew that if it wasn’t urgent, he would’ve never left such a banquet in the first place. Maintaining his new sect leader image, rebuilding Lotus Pier from scratch and standing strong during a war had really taken a toll on his mental health, as she saw that he didn’t even have the energy to be his classic, annoyed self. He was tired, bags under his eyes, his motivations long gone. When had his little didi turned into a dark adult so fast? She couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. His hurt gaze told more than common people could grasp at first glance.
The desperate hug came from nowhere, but Yanli wouldn’t have wanted it in any other way. Jiang Cheng returned the hug almost hesitantly, as if he didn’t know how to receive kind gestures anymore.
“Don’t worry, A-Cheng,” Yanli said, stroking his shoulders when they parted. “I’ll cover for you. But please, go with at least one of your men, just in case. I’ll communicate them to stay quiet and alert if anything happens.”
“Why are you so worried, A-Jie?” Jiang Cheng asked, raising an eyebrow. “It’s Lanling. The war is over. I’ll be okay.”
Jiang Yanli gave him a solemn stare. “That’s right. It’s Lanling, that’s why I’m telling you this. Jin sect is currently the most important right now. Any gesture out of place might be an offense, and that’s an unspoken rule between all of us. I’ve been close with Madame Jin for a while. I know what I’m saying…” she warned. And Jiang Cheng already knew she was right. Jin Guangshan was not just any sect leader. Annoying as himself was, but still. Not just any sect leader.
He looked at the night sky, and the stars seemed to laugh at him for his mental weakness. Huffing, he turned to Yanli again. “Call Jiang Ruwong. He will come with me. I’ll be at the forest; I need nature, air, being alone. I’m… sorry, A-Jie,” he whispered. “I should be stronger.”
Yanli shook her head, eyes wide. “No! A-Cheng, you’ve done more than enough for all of us. For our parents… for A-Xian, for me, for our people,” she mumbled. “You deserve rest, you deserve company. You’re not alone in this, okay?”
This time, their strong hug seemed to be a silent cry for help.
“Sure” Jiang Cheng replied, unconvinced. “Then, I’ll be going. Don’t forget to tell Ruwong! Make everything as secretive as possible…” he started, but suddenly realized that he was commanding an order rather than telling something to his sister. Was he already one with the war? When had he started seeing everything and everyone as peons, as subordinates? Was he that alone at this point? “I mean, please go ahead” he corrected himself, bowing respectfully. “I’m sorry, A-Jie.”
He was scared.
“It never was your fault, A-Cheng. You’re going to be okay, just... let your heart be open again” Yanli had said, smiling with glassy eyes before turning around and walking back to the palace. Jiang Cheng fought the urge to cry, to apologize, to tell Yanli that he didn’t even recognize himself at this point. He wanted to be a careless teenager again, yearning for a hug from his older sister, some teasing from his brother, and lotus rib soup with his family. Now, everything about that would be stained with blood, tension, and war for the rest of his life.
He just wanted to feel something strong again, not remaining pieces of what he was before.
Once Jiang Ruwong arrived, both of them walked through Lanling and into the nearest forest, swallowed by the nocturne darkness and lit up only in small patches by the slight moonlight coming from the crescent moon. The chit chat was short, mostly on Ruwong’s part since he didn’t dare to strike conversation with his Leader. Jiang Cheng was annoyed at that implicit, yet obvious reason. Was he that scary now? To the point his lifelong cousin was afraid to piss him off? Was he such a… such a monster already?
He tried to start something. “This winter seems to be colder than usual.”
“Maybe it’s because Yunmeng has warm winters, Sect Leader.” Jiang Ruwong chuckled.
“Don’t call me that,” Jiang Cheng snarled. “There’s no one else here. And I’ve been through winters in Lanling as well, but this one seems… odd.”
“You think so... Jiang-xiong?” Ruwong asked.
“Yeah. Almost as if the skies are mourning this war. Mourning the fallen, the dead,” he muttered into the air, blowing some snowflakes away from him and his hot breath turned into vapor. “Mourning the dead bodies and the dead souls.”
“Well, even Heavens are showing compassion towards our hardships,” Ruwong said while looking at him. “We have triumphed! You’ve done a good job, Jiang-xiong”
“Of course,” Jiang Cheng replied, in a mix of annoyance and pride. “It’s the least I can do for my people. I must attempt the impossible.”
They got deeper and deeper into the forest while the snowflakes fell, trying to break the ice somehow. Ruwong was his right hand at this point, besides Wei Wuxian. Jiang Cheng was internally glad about that menace not coming with him to his stroll; he didn’t need more of his inferiority complex right now. All he needed was peace and quiet, and Ruwong was that. In the months that Wei Wuxian was gone, Jiang Ruwong had been his first contact to reach out for, when his sister wasn’t there. Jiang Cheng still had trouble saying what he felt, and he refused to be seen as an emotional weakling either way, yet his cousin was good at reading people. That was enough for him. He did not need to overexplain his weird moods to him.
When they were about to reach a clearing, hushed whispers could be heard, as well as loud thuds on the snow. Jiang Cheng halted as soon as he heard the abnormal sound, not belonging to a forest. He grabbed Jiang Ruwong’s arm and dragged him behind a large tree.
“Wha-”
“Shh,” Jiang Cheng hushed him harshly. “We have company.”
Both looked into the darkness, and they could grasp small lights. Probably torches. Who could ever go alone to the forest in the middle of the night, if it wasn’t for a night hunt? Besides, this was Jin territory. Who could ever? It was too suspicious. But whoever was there, had some logic. All the big sects were at Jinlintai: it would be smart to do stuff in the forests… but the Jins had one of the biggest security armies in the cultivation world. It was stupid to believe that just because the big people would be drunk by this time, the surroundings would be clear.
The hushed voices were getting louder. Jiang Cheng could see someone holding a torch and could glimpse a white peony on his cape. More and more people with torches were getting closer, so he made sure they hid well on a dark corner (and also made sure that Ruwong didn’t make a single noise).
“Jin soldiers…” he got to whisper.
“What would they do in such an atmosphere? It’s suspicious,” Jiang Cheng commented, annoyed. “Are they a cult or what? I can’t hear anything yet.”
When they could turn their mutters into words, Jiang Cheng’s blood ran cold.
“We must not make so much noise! Grab those dogs and let’s carry them to their cells again!”
“But general, they already look hypothermic without any shoes or clothing layers! They won’t survive tonight!”
“That’s what they get for being Wen dogs,” the general had said, making Jiang Cheng freeze in the spot. “If they’re dead, it’s just their payment for all they’ve done to us. Couldn’t care less if they were harmless! Born as Wen, dead as Wen. Simply as that! Now move. Drag their corpses if necessary, but move them!”
“General, they all had fainted!”
“Grab and wake up the ones that still can stand. The unconscious ones will be dead by morning, it’s not worth our time! Sect Leader Jin said to play it wise. Leave no traces!”
“Roger!”
From Jiang Cheng’s view, he could see some people, all chained by hands and feet, thrown onto the ground or being hardly hit, stabbed with thin spears by the shoulders and rib cage, hair being pulled or jaws being kicked. They effectively had no extra layers, no shoes and all looked on the verge of death. They weren’t even whining nor complaining; maybe the cold was already doing its job. Some of the unconscious people were elders, others were women, others young men.
Jiang Cheng would normally be glad for the destruction of the sect that killed his parents and ruined his life, but this time he couldn’t help but frown. Those people did not seem like those rough killers. Those people had poor rags compared to the luxurious white and red robes higher class Wens had, as if those were already in disrepair before being captured and enslaved. Jiang Cheng was in an inner battle: letting them rot for allowing such tragedies to ocurr, or obeying his deep hidden morals that condemned the torturing of innocent, harmless people. What was the correct thing to think? What was more important? Wei Wuxian would definitely choose the people, him and his thin face and hero complex. Jiang Cheng had left people behind for the sake of the sect, his image and reputation. But seeing this from the too-wealthy Jin sect...
Some Wen slaves dragged their purpling feet near where they were. Both Jiangs held their breath, as they knew they just got into dirty work that shouldn’t be seen. Lanling Jin sect was gardens, luxury, gold and money. Not… this. Not this dark side. What the hell was Jin Guangshan thinking? Would this give them a better reputation? To have Wen slaves, throwing their corpses to a pit and burning them to ashes when they were no longer useful? Feeding them one meal every four days, whipping them to the point of general hemorrhage when they’re already exhausted? Would this really boost Jin Guangshan’s ego?
By when the soldiers dragged the remaining , conscious people, the zone was already clear. Giving a nonverbal order to Jiang Ruwong just with a look, both men silently scurried away, ready to return to Jinlintai and not say a single word about what they just saw. Jiang Cheng was avoiding any contact with any Wen (he knew deep down that he wasn’t ready to see that), all while dragging Jiang Ruwong along with him. They needed to get out of the forest as soon as possible, and keep appearances as they always had to do. They must not get involved with anyone in the matter. They-
“Sect Leader!” Jiang Ruwong cried, “I see a familiar face among the fallen men!”
For the love of the gods. No, definitely no. His heartbeat rose to an impossible speed, his sweat turning cold. He was definitely pushing the thought out of his head, and the more his suspicions were on the verge to be confirmed, the more he wanted to run away and not get involved.
It couldn’t be.
“You must be seeing things,” Jiang Cheng hissed anxiously. “Hurry up.”
“Sect Leader, I got to run away from Lotus Pier during the Wen invasion for a reason. I know what I’m saying!” Jiang Ruwong turned on his heel and with a fire talisman, he lit up a medium sized flame and started scrutinizing each face.
Jiang Cheng was holding his clarity bell for dear life and he repressed the urge to scream. He breathed heavily. “I know you got to escape from Lotus Pier, so what do you mean? Explain yourself!”
Don’t tell me what I already know.
Ruwong wasn’t listening to him; he was lighting up a face, not moving at all. His eyes were almost about to pop out from his sockets.
“Jiang Ruwong…?” Jiang Cheng asked in a mere whisper, not wanting to hear what was obvious. He also was looking at that face. That too familiar, blessed yet damned face.
“S… Sect Leader…” Ruwong stuttered, holding the young man’s wrist while looking back at Jiang Cheng in utter horror. “It’s Wen Ning. He’s still alive.”
And in that unfortunate moment, tears fell down Jiang Cheng’s cheeks. He bit his tongue so he wouldn’t sob, but that was the last straw for all the hell he had to go through ever since Wang Lingjiao had invaded Lotus Pier that night.
Turns out that biting his tongue wasn’t enough for his heart to stop screaming.
“Sect Leader Jin! This humble disciple, Jiang Ruwong, informs that Sect Leader Jiang Wanyin had to return to Lotus Pier! It’s inner Sect matters that he himself needs to take care of, so he has sent me to inform!”
And while that humble disciple bowed his head and body in complete despair, Sect Leaders looked at each other with wonder, while Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian stared at each other with worry, Jiang Cheng was flying on his sword as fast as his spiritual power could manage. He was freezing cold, on a night of crescent moons and unspoken rules. A night in which the sun should be dead on his tracks, yet he was carrying on his arms a last ray of sunrise, so weak and light it was almost surreal. A ray of sunrise covered and kept hidden by his thick cape and hood, yet Jiang Cheng could still see a glimpse of his face, which showed hurt and peace at the same time as his eyes were hermetically closed. He thought it would be impossible for them to meet again, even more to help each other in a next time. But alas, he always had to attempt the impossible, right? It was the least he could do for his people.
His pride usually was the one to win his inner arguments and he trusted it more than anything in times of war.
That night, he was trusting that one thing that always had got him in trouble, and this time it wouldn’t be an exception.