Archive of Our Own

Good afternoon,

This morning, I finished looking over the monthly expenses list. Amongst the necessary items (apologies once again for spilling coffee on your Anarchy in The UK/No Fun record, Owen) there were a few requests which I cannot accept:

• Tosh, the three 2TB hard drives: I'm really sorry, but it doesn't fit our budget to buy a new hard drive every week. (The rift, however, might have given us a solution. Some kind of storage device fell through last night, if you want to check it out with me later.)
• Owen, Grand Theft Auto IV: just because you spend all your time at work playing on your Xbox, doesn't mean we should pay for that.
• Jack, your blue shirt: unfortunately, we do not have space in the budget to replace all the shirts that get destroyed. Perhaps if you worked on not getting yourself killed so often, we could work it into the budget.

Regards, Ianto

Thank you, Ianto, I appreciate that the budget can't cater to all of our needs. I'll come down to the archives in a bit, once I finish my code and set it to compile.

Tosh

Fuck you, Ianto. You still owe me for that record. It was a '76 edition - the least you could do is pay for my new Xbox game, seeing as you destroyed it.

Owen

I'm terrible sorry Owen, but I don't understand what you're implying when you say "you destroyed it." I accidentally spilt your mug of coffee over a record lying out on your desk. I'm so sorry that your loudest track had to be thrown away. As I've said, it's been worked into the budget.

Ianto

Oh God, please don't you two start with this argument again...

Though, thank you Ianto. I'm assuming this means my wallet has been refunded?

Gwen

Yes, Gwen, as I was unable to dry it out back to its original state, you will be refunded. I apologise - but then again, perhaps the blowfish who decided to jump into the Bay should be the one apologising here...

Ianto

Hey, Ianto! You get your shirts refunded when they get... destroyed. By Torchwood. Plus, you could easily spare some of the (quite frankly, enormous) coffee budget on my shirts!

Jack

PS: did Owen say a '76 edition of Anarchy in the UK/No Fun???? Ianto do you have any idea how much that's gonna cost???

I do your bloody laundry, Jack. I know you have twenty identical shirts in your wardrobe.

Ianto

PS: it's Owen's fault for bringing a record that expensive into the Hub. Wouldn't he expect it to be destroyed?

At this rate, I'll have no shirts left in my wardrobe anyway.

Jack

PS: here, if you need a hand finding a replacement vinyl, here you go.

Now, wouldn't that be a shame...

Ianto

PS: fuck. FUCK.

I can't tell if you're insulting my sense of fashion, or imagining me shirtless. I very much hope it's the latter. ;-)

Jack

Hi guys. You do realise that everybody else is CC'd into your replies, don't you? Just wanted to check...

Tosh

Right. Okay. Thanks for letting me know, Tosh. You ready to go over that data store?

Ianto

Hey! You've got a coffee to bring me first, Ianto!

Jack

Ianto just went to Jack's office. I'd give it at least thirty minutes before you're needed in the archives. Wanna nip out for a coffee of our own?

Gwen

Now, that sounds like a plan. I'll grab my coat.

Tosh