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Qibli couldn't focus.
That wasn't exactly a new experience for him; his mind was running at full speed 24/7 and he often had trouble devoting his full attention to one thing. He knew this, so did his teachers, and so did Moon, obviously.
But this was different. This wasn't just an effect of his ADHD.
It was Winter.
He couldn't explain it, it was just… everything about him. Of course his dazzling, mirror-bright scales always drew his gaze like a flame draws a moth, but that wasn't even the worst thing. It was the little things that Qibli couldn't help but notice; the intermittent flicks of his tail, the constant readjusting of his jewelry, the way he dug his claws into his pencil when he was really involved in his schoolwork.
And Qibli never stopped worrying about their conversations. Past, future, and even present. He found himself over-analyzing everything either of them said. Did that sound weird? Did I say the right thing? How can I sound cooler and more likeable? Does that sentence have a hidden meaning of some kind? Am I being way too obvious right now?
Does he feel the same way about me as I do about him?
Every expression, every word, every bit of body language or wordless glance thrown his way was turned around and over and inside out in Qibli's brain.
And he knew that, inherently, Winter was a very friendly and well-meaning dragon who loved his friends very much. Moon reassured him of this during every gossip session (and follow-up nervous gay rant from Qibli) they had together - hosted by Kinkajou, of course.
But his way of showing it was not at all the way Qibli was used to. In the Outclaws, everyone treated each other with outward kindness, casual affection, and harmless jokes. Whenever he tried to do that with Winter, he was met with cold sarcasm and scathing comments about his manners. He wasn't used to being touched, which was evident even in the short amount of time Qibli had been around his family. Any time their scales came in contact, whether on purpose or accidentally, Winter would stiffen up and pull away.
Or maybe Winter simply didn't want anything to do with him. Maybe Qibli was just making things up trying to avoid that possibility.
As he headed to music class, Qibli tried not to think about that.
Instead, he distracted himself with the fact that Sunny would be there for this class, helping them perform a song Pronghorn had written and she had taken a liking to. A few days before, she had handed out the lyrics and sheet music for us to memorize, and Pronghorn (along with some volunteers) had done a demonstration. Qibli was excited to perform it; he had had no idea how talented Pronghorn was when it came to songwriting.
Winter was already there when he arrived, sitting on the risers next to Turtle. He slid up next to him, and Kinkajou and Moon came soon after. He noticed Peril in the corner of the room (Sunny wanted her off the risers in case she burned someone) and gave her a small wave.
"Isn't this amazing?" Kinkajou said, bouncing eagerly on her heels. "I can't believe we get to do the singing!"
"Yeah." Winter said, rolling his eyes. "I can't wait."
"Aw, you're just mad because this means you actually have to sing in front of people." Qibli grinned at him.
He responded with haughty silence. Kinkajou giggled and Moon smiled affectionately down at her.
I wish I could have what they have, Qibli thought, glancing discreetly at Winter. They're just so… open.
He was pulled out of his mind by Sunny strolling to the front of the room and setting up some papers on a music stand. She cleared her throat to get everyone's attention, but it didn't work. After a few more tries, and a few students jostling one another into silence, all eyes were on her.
"Ok, good." Sunny said. "Before we start, does everyone have their packets?" She nodded as the dragonets all pulled theirs out and held them up. "Cool cool cool. Now, I expect everyone to play your part and BEHAVE. Unlike last time." She raised her eyebrows significantly, and everyone shuffled around and made noises of agreement. "Are we all ready to begin?" We all nod, and she smiles. "Great! And remember I'm up here conducting you for a reason , ok? Watch me, watch my talons, ok, here we go, ready? One, and two, and three, and…"
The instrument players started it off, with Sunny interjecting whenever they needed help, and then it was our turn.
"My wingtips waltz across naïve,
Wood floors they creak,
Innocently down the stairs"
Qibli's brain almost immediately went on autopilot, his memory carrying him through the lyrics. Winter's voice sounded amazing . Deep and clear and smooth, like a sheet of ice over a lake.
As he sang, the lyrics seemed to sink right into his heart, resonating somewhere deep inside him. As the second chorus approached, a strange instinct took over him, and he turned towards Winter, both of their gazes meeting. Qibli's voice grew louder, filling with emotion, as he stared into the IceWing's diamond-blue eyes.
"You have set your heart on haunting
Me forever from the start
It's never silent
Ever since we met
I only shoot up with your perfume
It's the only thing
That makes me feel as good as you do
Ever since we met
I've got just one regret to look through
And I regret ever letting you go!"
Winter and the rest of his winglet had fallen silent, as well as most of the dragons closest to them. They all stared at him, shocked, confused. But Winter was the only one whose reaction really mattered.
For what felt like ages, he didn't say anything. Even Qibli couldn't tell what kind of thoughts and emotions were warring behind those gorgeous eyes.
Eventually, he took one step back, then another. He looked almost lost. And then, he turned and flew out of the cave.
Everyone had stopped singing now, looking at him and thinking who the hell knows what. But Qibli didn't care. His crush, his true love, his best friend had just publicly rejected him. No, not even rejected. He had just up and left, which was worse than anything Qibli had thought of that Winter could have said.
"Qibli…" Moon stepped around an open-mouthed Kinkajou, holding her talon out to him. Qibli shook his head and she stopped, lowering her head in understanding.
I can't stay here, he thought. I have to go to him. He launched himself over the head of his classmates and shot through the doorway. He could hear Sunny calling after him, but he ignored her.
Qibli went to the most obvious place he came up with that Winter would go - their cave. And as he skidded to a stop in front of the entrance, sure enough, there he was.
"Can… can I come in?"
Winter nodded wordlessly, and the SandWing slipped inside, sitting down in front of him.
"Winter-" he blurted. "Look man, I'm really sorry. I just- I've liked you for a long time and I had no idea how to tell you, I wasn't thinking and I-"
"Stop," Winter said, looking up at him. Qibli quickly slammed his mouth shut.
"You don't need to be sorry. You shouldn't be sorry for any of that. I didn't… I didn't really want to run away, it was just… all those dragons, and our whole winglet, and…"
"Yeah. Yeah, I get it. I mean, I should've guessed that'd make you uncomfortable, but like I said…"
"You weren't thinking." Winter smiled. "That's one thing I love about you, Qibli. You're smart as shit, but you do some of your best work when you're not thinking."
"Seriously?" Qibli didn't dare to hope. "So… you don't hate me?"
"What? No!" Winter took Qibli's talon between his. "No. I could never hate you, Qibli."
Tears welled up in his eyes and he surged forward, throwing his wings around Winter, not caring how cold his scales were.
"I love you, Winter," Qibli whispered. "Always have."
"Me too," Winter replied. "I love you, too."
Qibli had never been happier than he was sitting there with Winter, their talons laced together, their tails entwined, their wings overlapping.
After both an eternity and not enough time at all, Winter cleared his throat, and Qibli looked up at him.
"Uhh… should we go back to music class?"
"Only if you want to," Qibli mumbled, reburying his face in Winter's shoulder.
"Good, because I really don't."
Qibli smiled to himself. Sure, they'd probably get in trouble for skipping class, but he didn't care. He had everything he wanted right here, and it would have been supremely awkward if they just returned to the classroom right then.
He wasn't sure how long it had been when their winglet found them, but he was glad they were there. As soon as she saw them, Kinkajou ran into the cave.
“I KNEW it!” She crowed. “I said he liked you back and I was right!” Bubbles of gold swarmed across her scales, but Qibli didn’t need to see that to know what she was feeling. He felt the same way.
“That was amazing, Qibli,” Moon said as Qibli disentangled himself from Winter. “I know we talked a lot about how you could tell him, but I gotta say, I didn’t expect that.”
“Yeah.” Winter chuckled. “You literally confessed your love to me through a song. I can’t wait to tease you about that forever.”
“Hey, I thought it was romantic!” Kinkajou protested.
“Yeah, it was pretty cheesy,” Peril chimed in from the entryway.
“Also, hold on,” Winter said. “What do you mean you talked about how you could tell me?” He turned to Qibli with an expression of mock offence. “You told them you liked me before you told me?”
“Also me!” Peril added. “He never told me, either! Hey, why didn’t you tell me?”
“Well, I told them because I wanted their advice. Also, I would have imploded if I had to keep thinking about it on my own. As for Peril, well… she doesn’t keep secrets very well.” Qibli smiled wryly.
“Ugh! Rude!” Peril scoffed.
“He’s got a point,” Turtle offered. “Being discreet definitely isn’t your strong suit.”
“Ok, maybe I would have had a little trouble. But still!”
As he laughed, something occurred to Qibli. “Hey, what did Sunny do after we left?”
“Oh, well, she said she understood and let us go after you to make sure you’re both ok,” Kinkajou informed them. “Also, she says even though we’re technically skipping class, she’ll let it slide this time because it’s under ‘special circumstances.’ Annnd she said our singing was really good.” The little RainWing smiled triumphantly.
“Cool.” Qibli settled back into Winter’s embrace. As they launched into a conversation about how long they had both known and where are they going to go on a first date and isn’t it such a relief they’re finally together? Qibli silently mulled it all over. This was really happening. He’d told him how he felt, Winter reciprocated those feelings, and now they were together. He’d always known he was bi, but he’d never been with a guy before! Was he going to be the right dragon for Winter? Was dating a guy any different than dating a girl? What if he messed something up?
But as he looked into Winter’s eyes, and saw the IceWing smile at him, he knew everything was going to be ok.
***
In music class the next day, Pronghorn came over to Qibli.
“Hey, dude,” he greeted him.
“Hey,” he responded. “I just wanted to say, I thought that was pretty cool, what you did yesterday. You’re a really good singer.”
“Oh, thanks!” Qibli said, surprised. “You didn’t think it was weird?”
“No, I thought it was awesome! I’m honored for you to have used my song as a love confession. It’s what I was going for.”
Qibli laughed. “No problem. It’s good to know I didn’t completely embarrass myself in front of my whole class.”
Pronghorn chuckled in agreement and went over to talk to Sunny. And as Qibli headed over to the risers, seeing Winter and flashing a rakish smile, he felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. He had told Winter his true feelings, and it hadn’t completely ruined his life. In fact, it had improved it immensely. He couldn’t wait for whatever was next.