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“What kind of person do you want to be?”
The voice in Draco’s head sounded strange and unfamiliar, as did the ever so slight burning he felt in his cheeks. The strange and unfamiliar emotions rattling around in his head causing the slight burning sensation on his cheeks started when Harry Potter effectively let Draco know he felt Draco Malfoy of all people was the wrong sort of person, the sort he didn’t want to make friends with.
Of course, his mind at that moment didn’t understand what made him the wrong sort of person, but another voice in the back of Draco’s voice said, “Of course you’re the right sort of person. After all, you’re a Malfoy and better than the sort of wizard the Weasley’s are.”
“Yet, Harry Potter says otherwise, so there must be something to that, right?”
“What? You don’t believe what father says?” Knowing what Lucious Malfoy said regarding blood status didn’t make the hurt feeling resulting from Harry Potter’s rejection go away, nor did it ease the tension in his stomach and throat. Draco opened his mouth, his gut reaction to snipe back at the most famous student in their year with a retort regarding going the same direction as his parents, only for his throat to tighten even more.
“You don’t want to be that kind of person.” Draco bit down slightly on the tip of his tongue, still wanting to snipe back, the hurt remaining, yet another thought started crossing his mind. “Mother wouldn’t approve.” No, Narcissa Malfoy definitely wouldn’t approve of him sniping back by telling another person they might go the way of their parents despite the fact she definitely agreed with his father that Purebloods were superior to Half-Bloods and Muggle-Born.
In fact, her voice replaced that of the other two. “You are better than that, above that.”
“But father…”
“Sometimes he forces he is better than that, above that.”
“Let’s go. We’ve better places to be than here.” He turned on his heels, feeling as if he saved a little face, yet also feeling unsure of whether he’d actually succeeded in doing so. The hurt feeling continued to pound in his throat and chest. He was above that, all of that, yet in the back of his mind, he didn’t quite know what that was. In fact, the one thing Draco knew was he didn’t really understand why Harry Potter thought him the wrong sort for simply saying what he did about the Weasley family, something Draco was sure everyone in the Wizarding community knew.
Something in his mind also told him finding a compartment for the rest of the ride was a good idea, in part as he wanted to hunker down and contemplate the humiliation he’d just felt. Draco sat with the most inelegant flop, something his mother, a member of the noble house of Black would find herself aghast at. “So, what are we going to do now?”
Hearing Crabbe speak made Draco look up at his friend, no lackey. There was no denying right at that moment in the back of Draco’s head that Crabbe and Goyal weren’t friends, simply acquaintances through the means of his father, being that his father was acquaintances of their fathers, but it occurred in Draco’s mind that perhaps the reason Potter’s rejection stung was in fact because he didn’t have any real friends. “I think I’d like to be alone right now.”
“I could have smashed their faces in,” Goyal slammed his hands into his fists.
“We’re above that.” Except in Draco’s mind, neither of his lackey’s were above such savagery, which in turn reminded Draco of something. He had in fact run into Harry Potter in Diagon Alley, in the robe shop, and said a bunch of things he couldn’t remember, but he did remember saying the groundskeeper was a savage, yet here he was hanging out with two savages. Suddenly, Potter rejecting him made actual sense, though Potter accepting Weasley’s friendship still didn’t make any sense. “I’m above that.” The looks of disappointment on Goyal’s face and the way Crabbe’s facial features twisted made him wonder if he’d said the wrong thing, so he added in, “Do you really want to get in trouble before we start at the school?”
“No,” Crabbe replied, the twisting of his facial features fading slightly.
“No. I’d not thought of that,” Goyal replied, being used to Draco letting him do whatever.
“Anyways…” Draco waved his hand indicating they should leave. “I’d like to be left alone.”
He definitely wanted to be left alone to contemplate what kind of person he wanted to be, because suddenly he knew there was at least one thing that turned Potter off of wanting to be friends with him even before he spoke to that Weasley boy, otherwise, he might accredit the whole situation up to the Weasley boy spreading malicious lies about him before the term even started. Of course, this thought brought on another thought into Draco’s mind.
In Potter’s mind, it must have seemed as if Draco was doing just that regarding one Weasley.
Yet, this made absolutely no sense at all given the fact Potter should know about the wizarding world. Never did it occur to him that perhaps the Malfoy family, like the Weasley family, had a certain kind of reputation in the wizarding world, not when he never really left the premise of Malfoy Manor and the only two other children, he interacted with on a semi-regular basis were Crabbe and Goyal. They weren’t even on a first-name basis.
The sound of croaking brought Draco’s mind out of the fog and he turned his head towards the sound. A frog or toad sat there staring at him. He reached down, finding himself quite perturbed at finding such a creature staring at him, wondering how it came to be in his compartment when a rather excited voice made Draco nearly jump out of his skin. “Trevor!”
Draco turned his head and saw a rather ecstatic, short, and chubby boy rush forward, grabbing the creature in his hands before flopping down across from Draco. A girl peered into the compartment. “I told you I would find him.” Something in the back of Draco’s mind told him that these two were definitely the sort his father wouldn’t want him to associate with, yet he held his tongue as the girl took a seat next to the other boy. “I’m Hermione Granger by the way, and this is Neville Longbottom.”
He’d not heard of any Granger’s in the wizarding world, but he certainly did know about the Longbottom family. In fact, his mind keyed in on the fact the Longbottom family was one of the sacred twenty-eight, yet his mind fumbled over how the person in front of him could be from such a prestigious line. “Thank you for finding Trevor.”
“You’re welcome I guess?” Trevor actually found him, yet he’d wanted to be alone.
“What house do you think you’ll be in?” The girl asked.
Draco opened his mouth, only for Neville to speak up, a frown on his face. “I’m likely to end up in Hufflepuff. I mean, I didn’t show any signs of knowing magic until my great-uncle Algie dropped me out the window and I bounced.”
“What?” That of course didn’t sound right. In fact, it sounded quite insane.
“It would fit in with the fact I really don’t live up to their expectations.”
“There’s nothing wrong with being sorted into Hufflepuff.”
Which definitely reminded Draco of the fact he’d pretty much told Harry Potter that Hufflepuff individuals were in fact losers. Again, he found himself biting down on the tip of his tongue, not wanting to say something which would alienate one of the members of the sacred twenty-eight, albeit one who seemed quite clumsy.
The girl took a deep breath. “Each of the houses has its positive traits.” She pointed to her upper left. “Gryffindor for example is for those that are brave of heart and chivalrous. Slytherin favors ambition and leadership skills. Hufflepuff likes loyalty and hard work. Ravenclaw loves knowledge and creativity.”
“So, which house do you think you’ll be sorted into?” Draco asked.
“Not Slytherin.”
“Oh. You don’t think you have ambition and leadership skills then?”
“No.” The girl looked him right in the eye, having a strange look. “While there are positives to every house, there are also negatives. Gryffindor’s can end up being show-offs. Hufflepuffs, well, you’ve seen how Neville feels he should be sorted into that house. Their kindness is seen as a weakness when it is actually their strength. Ravenclaws are likely seen as stuck up know-it-alls.”
“You skipped Slytherin,” Draco swallowed.
“Everyone says everyone who comes out of Slytherin will end up being evil,” Neville muttered.
Hermione took a deep breath. “While it is true that a lot of Dark Wizards have come from Slytherin, it is also true not all Slytherin’s are Dark Wizards, but some Dark Wizards come from other houses.”
“Yet you have a problem with being in Slytherin.”
“It’s not a matter of me wanting or not wanting to be in Slytherin, but a matter of me not being welcome in Slytherin.”
“What…”
“I’m Muggle-Born.”
Draco felt the color drain from his face, definitely knowing she was someone his father wouldn’t want him associating with, and yet. “That’s not possible.”
“What do you mean that’s not possible?”
“You actually know a lot about the Hogwarts Houses,” Draco blurted out, still confused, a slight heat setting into his cheeks again, yet for a very different reason. “You know more about then some of those from wizarding families I know.”
Which of course sounded quite stupid when he said it, not to mention he saw Neville glance away nervously as if he felt Draco was implying him when in reality Draco meant Crabbe, Goyal and—he didn’t like the way Hermione’s eyes narrowed and her lips pushed together. “I see.”
“You definitely know more than Potter does.”
“Wouldn’t he have been raised by his Aunt?”
“I don’t know what that would have to do with anything, let alone how you inferred that she would be the one raising him.”
“Well, for starters, his grandparents are also dead, but his mother was Muggle-Born which means he would have been raised among Muggles and know little about the Wizarding world.”
“Yet you know a lot.”
“I read a lot and inferred things. I like reading and…” Hermione’s mouth twisted into a frown.
“And?”
“I might have inferred that Ravenclaws might be considered know-it-alls because I might have been called that before.”
“Why?”
Her eyes blinked. “For liking books. For knowing everything. I don’t know how to explain it, but I can say most Muggle-Born and even Half-Bloods raised with little to no interaction with the wizarding community would have a tough time of it.”
“Then you’d agree that Purebloods are superior.” Of course, he’d regretted saying the words when they came out of his mouth, particularly with how decently the conversation was going, something he’d never experienced before.
“That’s not nice.” Neville of course pointed what Draco already knew.
“It’s not as if…” Draco took a deep breath, knowing he’d step into it even more if he used that foul word his mother said he was above using in polite company.
“How are you defining the word superior?”
Which of course surprised him. “As better than of course.”
“But how so.”
“Better at magic.”
“How are they, though, better at magic.”
“Because they’ve been longer exposed to magic as have their line.”
“So then you’d be open to the idea of someone who’d not being as successful as a Pureblood.” Hermione’s comment made him blink his eyes. “By this I mean you wouldn’t have an issue with someone who comes from an inferior background that might hold them back in comparison to the Pureblood’s superior chances from raising themselves up?”
“I’d not thought about that.” Draco’s eyes blinked again. “Wait? Are you asking me what kind of person I want to be?”
“Yes. I think I am.” It was rather blunt, yet he couldn’t blame her. “How would you treat those inferior to yourself?”
“As I said, I’d not thought about that much.” The question felt unfair. His head lowered as did his voice, realizing someone outside the corridor might have picked up on anything being said, let alone the fact he was actually holding a civil conversation with a Muggle-Born. Of course, this gave him an answer. “I don’t think my father would approve. I mean, of what’s going on here, right now. My mother on the other hand. I don’t think she’d object to the fact I’m having a civil conversation with you, though…”
“So…” Neville piped up, almost losing Trevor, who’d Draco forgot was also there in the compartment; by that, he’d almost forgotten about both. “Isn’t it a matter of picking which parent to please? Personally, I’d rather please my mum if I were in that situation.” Which of course did sound like the nicer choice if it weren’t for the fact Draco honestly didn’t know how his father would react. Neville glanced over at Hermione who gave him a look. “Wrong answer?”
“It’s not actually about who either of them wants him to be, but about what kind of person he wants to be.”
“The person I want to be?” Draco swallowed. “I don’t know.”
“You’ve not been given much chance to think about that, have you?” Hermione looked him in the eye. “This wouldn’t happen to be your first time interacting with anything associated with the Muggle World?”
“That’s a fair assessment.”
“Then it’s also not fair for me to hold whatever prejudices you might have against anything Muggle related against you.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Just like it’s not the fault of those raised outside of the Wizarding world for knowing nothing about the Wizarding world before coming here, it’s not your fault for not knowing anything about the Muggle world, is it?”
Draco pondered what she’d said carefully. “It’s not though just about who I want to be, though, is it?”
“By that you mean?”
Draco took a deep breath. “I’m a Malfoy.”
It was one thing Hermione Granger didn’t know about, but Neville Longbottom did in fact know a lot about. His eyes widened. “Oh.”
“Oh, what?”
“You’re from one of those families.” Which of course simply reminded Draco of Potter’s rejection.
“I don’t follow. This isn’t talked about in the books I’ve read.”
“Lucius Malfoy’s not known for being very nice.” Neville’s words of course stung, but the boy actually noticed and cared that the words hurt. “Sorry. But it’s what my gran says, practically everybody. I don’t know him though, so I don’t think it is fair of me to say whether he is a nice person or not, but it’s not fair to assume you’re not a nice person because of him either.”
“And what do they say about my mother?” Draco’s voice strained.
“Narcissa Malfoy?”
“Yes.” Draco noticed Hermione seemed completely confused.
Neville at first didn’t say anything, his eyes glazing over. “Most people don’t like her either. She’s kind of stuck up they say, but gran says not to hold that against her. I don’t quite understand what she means by that other than my gran doesn’t mind interacting with her, so there must be something nice about her. Again, I’ve never met her.”
“Thank you for being honest with me, I guess.”
“I’m sorry.”
Hermione’s apology startled Draco. “What? What are you apologizing for?”
“For thinking that it was a simple matter of you deciding who you want to be. That’s a rather tough choice, having to pick between family and potential friends, but whatever you decide, I’ll respect it.”
“But you might not like it.”
“No. I might not. I’d like to say it’s a matter of you picking the side which to you feels most right, but either way, it’s going to hurt. It’s not fair to push that kind of thing onto someone whose only eleven, maybe twelve.”
“No. It’s not,” Neville agreed. “I’ll also respect it even though I might not like it. Actually, I don’t like either one to be honest. I don’t like it when people get hurt.”
“Would you like Neville and me to leave so you can think a bit?”
“Yes. Please. That would be nice.” Draco swallowed. The two left, yet he felt as if his first real chance at having actual real friends was slipping from his grasp. A few days ago he’d felt so certain about being sorted into Slytherin, a given what with the fact every Malfoy was in the house, or so his father told him. Yet, it had also felt like a given that Hermione would be in Ravenclaw and Neville in Hufflepuff.
“Oh. So, you aren’t so sure you should be in Slytherin,” the conversation with Slytherin started before it went into a long discussion with him before saying. “Well, I think you should be in…”