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“You okay, Subinnie?” Subin looked up at Byungchan’s question, forcing a smile for the youngest of his hyungs as he saw the concerned look on the man’s face.
“I’m fine, hyung,” Subin replied, shaking his head. “I’m just tired… I think we all are at this point.”
Byungchan nodded, smiling back at him. “Yeah, I think you’re right about that,” Byungchan replied. “At least we only have one more stage, and then we can all go home and sleep in for a couple of days.”
Subin nodded, turning back to his phone. He really didn’t want to admit that he wasn’t just tired; Subin was exhausted, given the fact that he really hadn’t slept well in a few days. His back had been hurting on and off for a while - it had been brief, sharp pains that went away almost as quickly as they began. But given how hard they had been working, Subin hadn’t really paid much attention to the pains; they really hadn’t had time for Subin to deal with the situation, given the fact that he really couldn’t pin down why his back was hurting.
Unfortunately, the pains had begun to get worse and significantly more frequent in the past few days, and it was beginning to make it difficult for Subin to do anything beyond the absolute bare minimum. The most concerning part, however, was the fact that Subin had started to have issues using the bathroom the night before - it burned, and despite the fact that he felt like he needed to pee constantly, Subin really hadn’t been able to get much out when he did go to the bathroom.
Logically, Subin knew that he should tell someone that he was fairly certain he’d developed a UTI - Subin didn’t have much experience with the infections, but a quick Naver search had convinced him that was the most reasonable explanation for his symptoms. But telling someone would mean missing out on their final goodbye stage, and Subin really didn’t want to put that kind of stress on his hyungs. It was one thing to be down a member when they had time to prepare - when Byungchan had hurt his neck, they’d at least had enough notice of his being out to do a few runs without him. But Subin’s new symptoms hadn’t appeared until the early hours of that morning, meaning that there was no way they would have been able to fix things to make up for Subin being absent without working all morning on it.
“VICTON on deck!” Subin sighed, putting his phone back into his bag before he joined the rest of his hyungs heading out to the wings so that they could get their final touch-ups on their makeup and finish getting their mics and monitor systems hooked up before they had to be on stage for their live performance. Subin really wasn’t thrilled with the fact that they were going on live - he’d really hoped that they would get to pre-film so that there would be a little less pressure to be perfect on the first run - but he was just thankful that in ten minutes, they would be done and he would be able to just relax.
“Yah… why are you already sweating so much?” Subin couldn’t help feeling uncomfortable with the way the stylist commented on his current situation where any of his hyungs could overhear her. “Are you sick?”
“Sick? Is something wrong, Subinnie?” Subin wanted to groan at Chan’s question, but he couldn’t do much of anything with the stylist and the television station’s techs standing right there getting him ready to go on stage.
“I’m fine, hyung,” Subin replied. “Just a little overheated.”
Chan didn’t look at all convinced, but the man nodded slowly. “Okay… make sure that you drink some water before we go on stage. We don’t want you to get dehydrated and pass out on stage…”
Subin nodded. “I will, hyung,” he replied, taking the bottle that Chan held out to him so that he could drink a bit of it before they had to go on stage.
“You’re sure that you’re okay?” Chan asked.
“I’m fine, hyung… just kind of tired and overheated, that’s all,” Subin reassured.
Although Subin could see Chan watching him for the rest of the time they were waiting to set up on the stage, the older man didn’t seem to want to say anything to the others. Thankfully, there wasn’t much time before they were on the stage in their starting positions, waiting for their music to begin so that they could actually perform.
Subin couldn’t really concentrate on the performance; his back was starting to hurt even more, and the slight twinge of nausea that had shown up just before their music had started was quickly becoming a full-blown problem. By the time they reached the end of the song, it was just about all Subin could do to not throw up all over the stage in front of him from the pain in his back. It took far longer than Subin would have liked for the production staff to call cut, and he quickly bowed to the staff before he hurried off the stage without the rest of his members to try and find somewhere to lose his lunch without causing huge mess.
Thankfully, there was a trash can not far from the bottom of the stairs leading to the stage, and Subin was able to make it there just before his body gave up on trying to choke back the bile that had been climbing up the back of his throat. It didn’t do anything to help the pain in his back, and Subin couldn’t help the soft sob that escaped from his lips as his knees gave way so that he was sitting on the floor, barely able to keep himself upright.
“Subinnie?” Subin couldn’t respond to Chan as the group’s third eldest knelt next to him, stroking a hand through his hair. “Aigoo… you’re burning up, aegi…”
“Let’s get him back to our dressing room,” Seungsik commented. Subin couldn’t stop himself from shaking as Seungwoo moved to pick him up bridal-style to carry him away from the backstage area. Subin closed his eyes, letting his head rest against the older man’s shoulder.
“Is he okay?” Byungchan’s voice asked softly, from somewhere nearby. Subin was too tired to look for the group’s second youngest, and too distracted by the intense pain in his back and side.
“He’s definitely running a fever… we’ll have to figure out what’s going on, but for right now we just need to get him to our dressing room so that we aren’t in the way,” Seungwoo replied.
Subin was shivering as Seungwoo gently placed him down on the mat that they had brought with them so that the members could nap throughout the day. “Okay… Subinnie, I need you to tell me what’s going on…” Seungwoo began.
“My back hurts…” Subin whimpered. “Fuck… hyung, it hurts so bad…”
“Did you hurt yourself dancing?” Chan asked, as the dancer stroked a hand through Subin’s hair in an attempt at calming him.
“I don’t… no?” Subin wasn’t really sure how to answer the man’s question, considering the fact that he couldn’t really explain why his back had been hurting for so many days already. “I think it’s my kidneys? I don’t know…”
Subin wasn’t sure what was going on, but he felt the hand in his hair still for a moment. “Subinnie, when did it start hurting?” Seungsik’s voice asked softly.
“I don’t know… a while,” Subin replied. “It started getting bad a couple of days ago… and now it hurts to pee…”
“Okay… Sejun-ah, go find the manager and let him know that we need to take Subinnie to the hospital,” Seungsik directed, as the hand in Subin’s hair began to move again.
“Should we try to get him to drink some water? If it’s his kidneys…” Seungwoo began.
“I don’t know… I think we should wait for a manager,” Seungsik replied. “I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to give him anything right now, when he’s this sick…”
“He’s probably dehydrated,” Chan commented. “He was throwing up a lot - it’s probably better if we at least let him sip on some water right now, so that things aren’t getting any worse. If it is something with his kidneys, it might help…”
There was a moment of silence, as Subin felt someone else covering him with a blanket because he was still shivering. “Okay… yeah, you’re probably right about that,” Seungsik replied. “Byungchan-ah, can you get a bottle of water for us? I think Subinnie had one somewhere earlier…”
“Let’s sit you up, Subinnie…” Seungwoo commented softly. Subin forced himself to open his eyes, sitting up with Seungwoo’s help. Chan was quick to move so that he was sitting directly behind Subin, supporting Subin’s weight so that he didn’t have to try and sit up on his own when he was already not feeling well.
Byungchan was there a moment later, with a bottle of water that he opened before he handed it to Subin. “Small sips, aegi,” Seungwoo instructed as Subin brought the bottle to his lips despite his shaking hands. “Don’t overdo it… we don’t want you to make yourself feel sick again…”
“What happened?” Sejun and their manager were back before Subin had managed to get more than a couple of sips from the bottle. “Is he okay?”
“He’s in a lot of pain… so much that he ended up throwing up when we finished our stage,” Seungsik explained. “It sounds like he might have a kidney infection, but I think there might be more going on, too… he’s running a fever, and he said it’s been going on for a while now…”
“Aish… okay. Subin-ah, do you think you can hang on for another hour or so?” the manager asked, squatting so that he was looking Subin in the eye.
“Hyung… you can’t be serious…” Hanse began.
“It’s that, or we call an ambulance and cause a panic,” the manager replied. “If he can hang on for a little while longer, I can drive him to the hospital myself…”
“Or you could take him now, and come back for the rest of us once you’ve at least gotten him dropped off and in the care of the doctors…” Seungwoo began.
“That’s going to look strange…” the manager began.
“Who cares if it looks strange?” Hanse asked. “He’s hurting, hyung… we can handle things here for an hour or two, but he needs to see a doctor as soon as possible. This is bad…”
Subin winced as another sharp pain ran through his back, biting down on his bottom lip to avoid crying out. “Hyung… he needs to go now,” Seungsik began, as the leader stroked a hand through his hair.
There was a prolonged moment of silence, before their manager sighed. “Get him ready to go. I’m going to get the van and bring it around… I only want one of you to come out with him, if possible,” the manager replied, getting up and heading out of the room.
“Okay… hyung, you should go with him,” Seungsik commented, turning to Seungwoo. “You’ve done the hospital thing with all of us at some point… you know his history better than I do, and you’re good with the medical stuff. I’ll handle everything on this end.”
“I can do that,” Seungwoo replied, nodding. “Okay, let’s get him ready to go.”
***
Subin slowly opened his eyes, looking up at Seungwoo as the eldest adjusted his grip around Subin’s waist. “Go back to sleep, aegi… we’re going to go up and get you in bed,” Seungwoo commented, as he began walking towards the building that housed their dorm.
“Can walk…” Subin slurred, trying to get out of Seungwoo’s arms.
“No, you can’t,” Seungwoo replied, tightening his grip. “You’re drugged half out of your mind… there’s no way I’m letting you try to climb the stairs like this. You can walk when we get in the dorm.”
Subin couldn’t help pouting, although he did let his head rest against the older man’s chest and close his eyes again. “He needs to shower before he gets in bed…” their manager reminded.
“I’ll take care of it,” Seungwoo replied. “Seungsik-ah and I can handle this - we’ve dealt with members being drugged up on painkillers before.”
The rest of the walk up to the dorm was silent, as Subin tried to keep himself from falling asleep again in Seungwoo’s arms because he knew that he would have to have a shower. Between performing earlier that day and then spending all evening at the hospital, he desperately needed to wash up.
“What’s going on?” Subin forced his eyes open as he heard Seungsik’s question as soon as they walked through the door. “Is he okay?”
“He’s going to be fine,” Seungwoo reassured, setting Subin on his feet so that he could take off his shoes. “Will you help him to the bathroom? They have him drugged out of his mind, and I’m afraid that he’s going to fall and hurt himself if we don’t help him…”
Seungsik had an arm around Subin’s waist a moment later, guiding Subin away from the entry once his shoes were off and walking towards the bathroom. “How are you feeling, aegi?” Seungsik asked.
“Weird,” Subin admitted. Everything felt strange and floaty, and Subin definitely wasn’t going to be able to walk on his own in that moment.
“Is this what it feels like to be high, hyung?”
Seungsik chuckled at the question, shaking his head. “Yeah, I think it’s pretty safe to say that they gave you the good stuff, huh?” the leader asked.
“But… am I going to get in trouble for getting high?” Subin asked, suddenly feeling very upset over the fact that he had been given such strong painkillers.
“No… no, you aren’t going to be in trouble at all,” Seungsik reassured. “You need to be medicated right now, because there’s no reason for you to be in pain. They gave you the medication you need so that you can rest, and rest is really important so that you can get better.”
Subin relaxed slightly at Seungsik’s reassurance that he wouldn’t be in trouble, letting his head rest against Seungsik’s shoulder as the leader guided him into the bathroom. “I love you, hyung…” Subin began.
“I love you, too, Subinnie,” Seungsik replied, guiding him to sit down on the closed toilet. “Why don’t we have you take a bath, instead of trying to stand up for a shower? You can just relax, and I can help you wash your hair…”
“I wanna sleep,” Subin commented softly, letting his eyes close.
“I know, aegi, but you need to take a bath first because you’ve been sweating and in the hospital,” Seungsik replied. “Let’s get you in the bath, and then we’ll get you into bed as quickly as we can.”
Subin watched silently as Seungsik filled the tub with warm water before the leader helped Subin to his feet and guided him to take off his dirty clothes. Subin felt a little awkward as Seungsik helped him into the water, but his embarrassment was quickly overshadowed by the overwhelming relaxing sensation of the warm water against his skin. He closed his eyes, sinking down into the water and just enjoying the warmth surrounding him.
“Okay… that’s far enough,” Seungsik commented, putting a hand behind Subin’s head to stop him from sinking any further into the water. “Let’s get your hair wet so that we can wash it, okay?” Seungsik gently lowered Subin’s head just far enough to get all of his hair wet, before the leader pulled him back up and leaned him against the back of the tub so that Seungsik could grab the shampoo and start lathering up Subin’s hair for him. “What do you want to eat before we put you to bed, aegi?”
“Not hungry,” Subin replied softly, closing his eyes and just enjoying the relaxing feeling of the older man’s hands scrubbing into his hair.
“We need you to eat something… you’re sick enough as it is, and your body needs energy to fight off the infection,” Seungsik replied, as he began trying to rinse the shampoo out.
“I’ll try,” Subin replied. He really didn’t want to argue with the older man, especially not given how good it felt to have someone massaging his head.
“Okay… let’s rinse your hair out and put in some conditioner while you wash your body,” Seungsik replied, gently lowering Subin into the water again to finish rinsing out all of the suds. Seungsik had the conditioner in fairly quickly after that, before the man passed Subin the soap and a washcloth so that he could actually get rid of the thin layer of sweat left on his skin from their performance earlier in the day.
Subin was still kind of lightheaded and loopy, but he did his best to focus on making sure that he was clean. “I’m really tired, hyung…” Subin began, once he’d rinsed away the soap.
“I know, aegi. We’re going to get you to bed as soon as we can,” Seungsik replied. “Let’s get the conditioner out of your hair, and then we’ll get you dressed in some clean pajamas.”
Subin nodded, letting the older man finish cleaning him up before the older man let the water out and started to help Subin out of the tub. The man wrapped Subin in a towel, smiling at him. “Come on… let’s dry you off before you get too cold.”
Subin zoned out as Seungsik finished helping him get dressed, not really fully aware of what was going on until he was wrapped in a fuzzy blanket that smelled as though it had come from Byungchan’s room and he was seated at their table with a bowl of rice in front of him. “What do you want to go with the rice, Subinnie?” Chan asked, as the elder man put a bottle of water down on the table next to his bowl.
“I don’t know…” Subin began, shaking his head. “I’m not that hungry…”
“Just eat the rice, then” Seungsik commented, rubbing his back gently. “All that really matters right now is that we get something into your stomach before you go to bed. We can make something healthier for breakfast, or we can get you something else if you wake up hungry later.”
Subin nodded, starting to work on the bowl of rice so that he could get in bed and go to sleep sooner.
He honestly didn’t care about the food; he just wanted to sleep, but he knew that his hyungs wouldn’t let him off that easily.
“What did the doctors say, anyway?” Chan asked, as Seungwoo came in from taking a quick shower when Subin was mostly finished with his rice.
“He has a kidney infection, caused by a couple of pretty large kidney stones,” Seungwoo replied. “They aren’t bad enough to require surgery, but if they don’t pass in the next couple of days they’re going to put him under and try to break them up with radio waves. Until then, we just have to keep him hydrated and make sure that he doesn’t hurt himself while he’s on the painkillers… I’m pretty sure you guys can tell that he’s pretty out of it from the meds…”
“Aigoo… our poor aegi,” Seungsik commented, rubbing Subin’s back again. “No wonder you felt so awful earlier today…”
“Can I sleep now, hyung?” Subin asked, once most of the rice was gone from the bowl.
Seungsik nodded, standing up to help Subin to his feet. “Of course you can, aegi. Let’s get you in bed so that you can rest.”
***
Subin groaned as he began to wake up, feeling sick to his stomach as the pain in his lower back flared momentarily. While he vaguely remembered getting back to the dorm the previous evening, he really wasn’t sure exactly where he was or how he had actually gotten into a bed. “Hey, hey… tell me what’s going on,” Seungwoo began, gently massaging the back of Subin’s neck.
“Hurts…” Subin began, trying to just focus on breathing through the intense pain.
“Aish… I’m sorry, aegi. We shouldn’t have let the painkillers wear off…” Seungwoo replied. “Stay here, okay? I’m going to get you another dose, and something to eat so that you can take your antibiotics, too.”
Subin couldn’t help whimpering as he was left alone, wishing he could just go back to sleep and not have to deal with the pain. “Hey, hey… you’re okay, aegi,” Chan’s voice commented, as the dancer knelt down next to the bed and stroked a hand through his hair. “Let’s sit you up a little bit, so that you can drink some water.”
Subin let the man sit him up, taking a few small sips of water with Chan’s help while they waited for Seungwoo to come back with his medication. “We need to get you something to eat,” Seungsik commented, as the leader came into the room. “Do you think that you can come to the kitchen and eat, aegi?”
“Maybe…” Subin began, letting the two older men help him to his feet. Subin was seriously dizzy as he stood up, leaning heavily against his hyungs.
“Okay… I’m thinking breakfast in bed might be a good idea,” Seungsik commented, once it was obvious that Subin wasn’t going to be able to walk very far without a significant amount of help. “Let’s sit you back down for a couple of minutes, okay? I’m going to bring you something to eat, and then we’ll get your meds for you.”
“I’m really not hungry, hyung…” Subin began, as he was lowered back down onto what Subin now knew was Seungwoo’s bed.
“You have to eat - the pain medication is going to make you really sick, if you try to take it on an empty stomach,” Chan replied, making sure that there were enough pillows for Subin to sit comfortably, before he covered Subin’s legs with the blanket again. “You need the calories, anyway… your body is still fighting a serious infection, and you aren’t going to be able to fight it properly if you aren’t taking care of yourself.”
“I’ll try to eat…” Subin replied, nodding. He really didn’t want to think about food, given the fact that he already felt somewhat nauseated due to the pain. But Subin also knew his hyungs well enough to know that he wasn’t going to get away with anything that would be seen as not taking proper care of himself. While he was able to get away with a lot, Subin knew that was a line that they would not allow him to cross.
“We’ll keep it small for right now… once you’re feeling a bit better, we’ll get something more in your stomach,” Seungsik commented, before he left the bedroom to go get something for Subin to eat.
“How about some more water, while we wait?” Chan suggested. “I know you probably don’t want to drink a ton, but we really need to make sure that you don’t get dehydrated…”
“Can I go back to sleep afterwards?” Subin asked softly, closing his eyes.
“Once you’ve eaten and taken your meds, you can do whatever you’d like,” Chan reassured. “They’ve cancelled everything on our schedules for the next week, so that you can have plenty of time to rest and recover. So you don’t have to worry about anything beyond taking care of yourself.”
Subin nodded, thankful that he didn’t have to stress out about missing schedules. If it wasn’t for the pain in his back, he probably would have fallen asleep right then and there in Chan’s arms.
“Okay, aegi… can you sit up a little bit more to eat this?” Subin forced his eyes open at Seungwoo’s words, looking at the bowl of soup the elder had brought in for him. “I don’t want to risk spilling it… you need to eat as much as you can, okay?”
Subin nodded, letting Chan help him sit up. He was still leaning back against the elder man, as Seungwoo helped him put the bowl into a safe position so that he could eat. “What about his meds?”
“I have them,” Seungwoo replied, reaching into the pocket of his sweat pants and pulling out the two orange pill bottles. “I can’t give it to him until he’s got something in his stomach, but I went ahead and brought the bottles in so that we have them when he’s ready. I didn’t want him to have to wait.”
Subin did his best to eat as much of his soup as possible, but he was only a little more than halfway through before he was beginning to feel sick again. “I’m done…” Subin began, handing the bowl to Seungwoo. The leader nodded, taking the bowl from Subin and moving it off to the side.
“Okay… let’s get some water in you and then you can have your meds,” Seungwoo replied, as Chan gave Subin the bottle again. “Do you need to go to the bathroom?”
“It’s going to hurt…” Subin whined.
“I know, aegi… but it’s going to get worse if you don’t take care of yourself,” Chan replied, stroking Subin’s hair. “Let’s get your meds, okay? You’ll feel better.”
Subin nodded, swallowing down the pills quickly and and leaning back against Chan as he closed his eyes. “Hey, you can’t go to sleep, aegi,” Seungwoo commented. “You need to go to the bathroom, and you need to drink some more water.”
Subin sighed, forcing his eyes open and letting the older men help him to his feet. While he still felt more than a little lightheaded - likely due to the fact that he hadn’t really been drinking enough water - Subin knew that he needed to listen to his hyungs, because they were only doing what they thought was necessary to make sure that he was getting healthy again. “And then I can sleep, right?” Subin asked.
“Yes… then you can go back to sleep for a few hours,” Chan reassured. “You can sleep all day if you want, as long as you get up to drink water, eat, and take your meds.” Subin nodded, as Seungwoo put an arm around his waist and started guiding him towards the bathroom.
“How are you feeling, Subinnie?” Sejun asked, as they met the older man in the hallway.
“He’s pretty tired,” Seungwoo replied, on Subin’s behalf. “We’re going to the bathroom, and then he’s going back to bed. So if you could ask the rest of the guys to keep it down…”
“No worries… Hanse-yah went to hang out with Dongyeol-ah, and Byungchan-ah is still asleep,” Sejun replied. “I’ll make sure that they know we need to be quiet and let Subinnie sleep.”
“Thank you,” Seungwoo replied, before he started towards the bathroom with Subin again.
The whole process of taking care of his bathroom needs took much longer than it probably should have, given the fact that Subin was in pain and he didn’t want to deal with it. But Subin was thankful that his hyungs had forced him to try going to the bathroom, considering the fact that he did actually feel a little bit better once he had emptied his bladder as best he could.
It didn’t take long for Seungwoo to get Subin settled in the bed again. “I need to get up and do a few things, but if you want someone else to cuddle with I’m sure that I can find another member who would be willing to do the job,” Seungwoo commented, stroking a hand through Subin’s hair as he spoke.
“Please,” Subin replied.
Seungwoo smiled, nodding. “Of course - try to relax, okay? Someone will come cuddle with you in a couple of minutes,” the eldest replied. Subin nodded slowly, closing his eyes and trying to go to sleep even though he really wanted to have someone there to hold him.
It didn’t take long for Subin to feel the bed shift under the weight of one of his hyungs, and Subin cuddled into the older man’s side immediately. “Hey… you okay?” Sejun’s voice asked softly.
“Just want to sleep,” Subin replied softly.
“Okay… then go to sleep, aegi,” the elder man replied, gently rubbing Subin’s back to try and lull him to sleep again.