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Amber eyes opened slowly, similar to how an ancient dragon might awaken from a long, deep slumber. Blinking, Zhongli turned his head to the left, concern beginning to make itself known in his mind.
“Diluc?”
There was no response, which he had expected. But, his gaze piercing through the darkness, Zhongli knew that something certainly was wrong. He wouldn’t have woken up if everything was fine, after all.
Sitting up, he got a better view of the other, and what he saw made a frown appear on his face.
The redhead was on his side, curled up into a tight ball as if to protect himself, take up as little space as possible, or both. He was trembling, his arms wrapped around himself as if trying to scare away an invisible chill. But from what was visible of his face, it was enough to make the frown on Zhongli’s face deepen.
Despite his wild crimson locks obscuring his face, Zhongli could make out two things. One, Diluc was gnawing on his bottom lip to the point that blood was slowly starting to drip down his chin. And two, there were tears running down Diluc’s cheeks, dripping onto the pillow.
Moving slowly, Zhongli gently placed his hand on the other’s head, fingers beginning to slowly run through soft, crimson locks. He watched as Diluc uncurled by the tiniest amount, which was good. But the thing that happened next was very much not good.
“…sorry.”
Eyebrows ticking up, Zhongli focused on the other, his hand not slowing but his attention now solely placed on hearing.
“F-father…forgive me….w-weak…”
Shuffling closer, Zhongli was able to see how Diluc’s features had become twisted, his teeth working his ruined bottom lip causing more blood to flow down his chin and onto the pillow.
“Kaeya…Kaeya I’m sorry…please…just…plea-“
Having heard enough, Zhongli reached for a power he didn’t use too often but was still intimately familiar with. Eyes glowing amber for a brief moment, Zhongli soon found himself standing, fully dressed, instead of sitting in bed in sleepwear.
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Looking around, the setting he was in could only be described as gloomy. It seemed as if he was in on the forests that Monstadt had, but there was nothing in terms of wildlife or even enemies such as hilichurls. There was no sun, dark storm clouds blotting out the sky and being the cause of the rain that was quickly soaking Zhongli’s clothes. The winds were howling fiercely as if Decarabian was still the ruler of Monstadt. Lightning struck and thunder rumbled in the distance, making Zhongli once again frown.
Such weather…it didn’t always mean something bad, but with the lack of life, Zhongli couldn’t help but think that something was very, very wrong. He looked at the path in front of him, leading deep into the woods where darkness made any visibility fall to zero. But, there was no here else to go, so Zhongli did the only thing he could do.
Walk forward.
The only things that provided any form of light were occasional flashes of lightning and lamp grass scattered about. He didn’t know where the path would end or where it was taking him, but he felt a tug in his chest that told him it that if kept going, he would eventually end up where he was needed. Where he was trying to get to.
Eventually, more light fell onto the path, making the forest more visible. And with it, Zhongli could see different signs of fighting. Burned grass, scorched tree trunks, frost gathering here and there…and blood.
There wasn’t exactly a lot of it, just some splatters and drops here and there. But it was such a bright, bright red. It stood out against the rest of the world’s muted colors, to the point where it looked like ruby shards had been scattered about.
Feeling his concern spike even more, Zhongli quickened his pace. The damage got worse and worse with the blood becoming more and more frequent, changing from an occasional splash to bigger puddles until finally forming a…Zhongli didn’t want to say stream but he would be lying if he said anything else. There was just…so much of it.
He didn’t know how much longer he had to walk, but he knew that he would soon arrive at…wherever he was heading. Carefully stepping around the blood, he made his way forward.
The trees eventually thinned out until Zhongli could see a clearing. And with the clearing was the most damage and blood he had seen yet. Finally, finally stepping out of the dark forest, Zhongli understood where he was being led to and why.
And the sight before him made something within him crack.
There, kneeling on the ground while being pelted by the rain with two bodies next to him on either side and a shadow looming over him, was Diluc. His head was down, and Zhongli couldn’t make out any fine details. But there were some things that he didn’t need a closer view to perceive.
One, the bodies were the sources of the bright, bright blood that had at this point become impossible to avoid.
Two, one of the bodies was the Knights of Favonius’ cavalry captain, his long dark blue hair mingling with the crimson pool he found himself lying in. And within his hand…or more accurately frozen to his hand, was a sword covered in blood.
Three, the other body was of a man whose bright red hair blended in seamlessly with his own pool of blood. As opposed to the blunette, who was on his stomach with his head turned away from Zhongli, the man was lying with his face towards the sky. But just like the blunette, it was very obvious that there was no life within him.
Four, the shadow over Diluc shared his wild red hair, but from what Zhongli could make out, he had his in a high ponytail with a…mask? Something else caught his eye, making Zhongli briefly flick his gaze to the shadow’s left hand. There was…something there. Something bright and glowing and red red red. He wasn’t sure what it was, but something about it instantly put the former Geo Archon on edge.
And five, Diluc…Diluc was kneeling with a sword in one hand with the other clenched into a fist that rested on the ground. He was wearing an outfit Zhongli had never seen him in before, but he could guess what it was for given its similarities to the outfit Kaeya was in. None of that really mattered, because the thing that caused Zhongli such alarm was the sheer amount of red on Diluc’s person. His clothes were completely stained with the color, the white gloves he was wearing having been stained crimson. The weapon he held was also coated in the color, the red coming all the way towards the hilt. There was so much blood that it managed to somehow dull Diluc’s vibrant, absolutely beautiful hair.
Zhongli began to walk closer, his footsteps making slight splashes as he slowly stepped through that bright red. The clearing was completely silent except for the sounds of the storm, but as he got closer, Zhongli began to be able to make out words.
“…your fault. You should’ve been better, stronger.”
“I-I know, I’m sorry…”
“Sorry? You’re sorry?? Sorry isn’t gonna bring him back, you missed your chance. YOU FAILED! Oh, and your brother? If you can even call him brother since you messed that up royally. I know you have an awful temper, but to be so blinded by it? You truly are a fool, it’s a miracle he didn’t leave you behind earlier. All you’ve done is hold him back.”
Zhongli watched as Diluc took each sharp comment, that single apology being the only words to leave his mouth as the shadow kept talking.
“Honestly, it’s a miracle anyone has stayed with you, though looking at your track record they still end up leaving anyway. A mother you never really knew and can barely remember, a brother who you don’t have the right to call your brother, a father that fell into excruciating pain trying to save you of all people to the point where you had to put him out of his misery. Can you imagine being him? Having the final sight being your son raising a weapon to you? How awful can you get?”
By now, Zhongli was close enough to make out the appearance of the shadow, fully revealed to be Diluc himself (which honestly didn’t come as a surprise. The shadow's hair and voice having been more than enough for Zhongli to figure out its identity). But the thing that really made the former god pause was how Diluc’s shoulders were trembling, how low his head was to the ground.
How apparent it was that he was crying while trying to remain silent.
The shadow’s voice brought Zhongli’s attention back to it, its voice cold and so much unlike the Diluc Zhongli had come to know, “And Zhongli, why he stays with you is a mystery. He was Rex Lapis, a being who’s been here since before Monstadt was properly a nation, possibly the oldest god in all of Teyvat. He’s someone awe-inspiring. And yet, he chooses to spend his time with you. You, someone who failed to protect the ones closest to him. It’s honestly the joke of the century.”
The hand with the glowing red reached out and gripped Diluc’s jaw, forcing him to make eye contact, “But it’s only a matter of time, he’ll leave soon enough. Everyone does anyway, and he’d be in his right to leave you. You failed, you’re worth nothi-“
Before it could finish, the shadow found itself being stopped from a spear managing to find its way directly into its side, making it let go of Diluc’s face and turn in the direction the attack had come from.
“Well, look who we have here! Come here to personally tell Diluc that you’re leaving? Smart move on your part, he’s just-“
“You’re not welcome here.”
The shadow starts at that one, but it quickly recovers with a crooked grin, “I’m more welcome than you are, this isn’t your mind interloper.”
“Perhaps not, but at least I can be more beneficial than you.”
“He needs me. I keep him humble, remind him to not repeat the same mistakes he made in the past. Y'know, the usual.”
Zhongli summoned a spear to his hand, twirling it around a bit before he pinned the shadow with piercing amber, “You’re nothing more than a weed that refuses to stay down. But for now, I think I can make it so that Diluc has a peaceful night.”
Before the shadow could say anything else, Zhongli threw the spear. It found its mark, cleanly hitting the shadow on the head, right between the eyes. It broke apart, becoming red wisps of light that flew up to the still cloud-covered sky. Sighing, Zhongli turned his attention to Diluc who was still kneeling on the ground.
Mimicking his pose and ignoring how the red started to seep into his clothes, Zhongli softly began to call for the other, acting as if he were trying to approach a wounded animal. One that while wounded, was still capable of causing damage.
And one who would feel immeasurable guilt in said damage.
“Diluc, my heart, can you look at me? Please?”
Red hair swished back and forth, Diluc’s gaze kept stubbornly to the ground, “I…I don’t deserve to have you here…”
“Diluc…”
“He was right, I’ve failed at everything that mattered to me.”
The blood-soaked hand that wasn’t clutching the sword slammed onto the ground, “I failed at becoming a knight that people could admire. I failed at being a friend to Jean and the others.”
The more he spoke, the more violent the storm became, “And…I failed my family. I failed to uphold my father’s legacy. I failed to uphold Ragnvindr’s legacy, the Dawn Knight’s legacy. I-I failed to make my father stop hurting so much when it came to remembering my mother, my face is too similar to hers. I’m too much like her that I only caused my father pain. I failed to be a good older brother to Kaeya. I tried to kill him because I couldn’t get a handle on my stupid emotions.”
Lightning struck in a way that it seemed as if the Electro Archon was on a personal rampage through the land, the rain coming down in torrents at this point, “And..I failed to protect my father. I failed to protect the man who raised me, who loved me dearly, who was willing to sacrifice his life for me, his idiot of a son. I FAILED TO THE POINT WHERE I HAD TO PUT HIM OUT OF HIS MISERY!”
A particularly loud crack broke through the air with that last shout, but it barely registered in Zhongli’s mind. This…this is how Diluc viewed himself? These were the thoughts that constantly plagued his mind?
“I don’t understand…”
The words were spoken so quietly that Zhongli could’ve missed them, but the tone that they were spoken in made the same thing within him that had cracked earlier crack even more. Diluc…a man who had such an air of confidence and who was such a vibrant soul…hearing him so…disheartened didn’t feel correct in any possible way. Leaning closer, Zhongli waited for more words to spill from the other’s lips, hoping to be able to find a way to help or just do something.
“I don’t understand why you choose to spend your time with me of all people. The one who acts coldly towards everyone. The one who couldn’t stop his father from feeling so much pain every time he looked at his son’s face. The one who in a fit of rage nearly ended his own brother’s life. The one who had to place his sword through his own father’s heart so he didn’t have to suffer anymore pain. The one who was the reason his father even had to go through so much pain, because he failed at being enough.”
Gaze finally lifting towards Zhongli, the former god couldn’t help but inhale sharply at the other’s eyes. Eyes that were typically burning with fire had turned into shattered rubies, wide and vacant as they stared up, blood splattered across his cheeks.
“There are so many things I’ve failed at, so many things that I continue to fail at. With all of this…with what I am, I can’t understand why you choose to spend the time you have with me. I’ll end up failing you too, and then like everyone else you’ll lea-“
The sentence never got finished. Zhongli had finally surged forward, wrapping his arms around Diluc’s frame, “Enough, Diluc. Just…enough.”
He felt as the other began to struggle against him, protests spilling from his lips. But Zhongli didn’t pay it any mind, Diluc couldn’t compare to his strength even in a dream. And there wasn’t a single part of Zhongli that even considered letting go of the other. Eventually, when the other had finally stopped trying to break free of the hold he found himself in, Zhongli began to speak softly.
“I cannot claim to know about anything concerning of your past, your family, your life. And I cannot claim to fully understand what you’re talking about. But I can say that I know what it feels like to fail at protecting what matters most to you.”
A flash of a young woman with a gentle smile and billowing sleeves, the smell of Glaze Lilies filling the air, “I know that feeling so well…”
A hand came up to slowly make its way through crimson hair, carefully navigating through the snarls that had been exacerbated from the rain, “And as much as it hurts, something I’ve come to accept is that the past cannot be changed no matter how much we wish it could be. And I know that that’s something that is hard to accept. And I know that I’ve had centuries to eventually come to this conclusion. And I know that time flows differently for me than for you.”
Letting go of the other, Zhongli brought his hands up to cradle the other’s face, looking at Diluc with a gaze filled with nothing except pure adoration, “But I know for a fact that you are the one I wish to spend my time with. I want to be able to spend my time taking walks while holding your hand. I want to be able to wake up next to you in the morning and see how the sun gives a golden glow that makes you look ethereal. I want to be able to spend meals with you, talking over everything and nothing or just silently enjoying each other’s company. I want to be able to look at the stars with you, pointing out constellations and telling stories as you lean against me. And I want to be able to kiss you, be it on your forehead or your cheek or your lips.”
There was nothing but silence for a bit of time, but Zhongli was patient. He watched as those eyes that he loved so much flicker with varying emotions and thoughts, until a layer of crystal appeared over them.
Slowly but surely, tears began to drip down Diluc’s cheeks, leaving trails through the blood that was still there. He watched as the other’s face slowly crumpled, Diluc finally letting go of his claymore and collapsing in Zhongli, burying his face in the other’s neck as small sobs began to shake his frame.
Changing his hold to once again embrace the other, Zhongli made silent shushing noises as he spoke, “I cannot promise that everything will be okay. But I can promise that I will be there for you. And I never break my promises.”
The other’s sobs were slowly diminishing, and with it the storm was letting up as the bodies and red had finally vanished. Zhongli wasn’t sure how long it took, but eventually they were kneeling in a forest clearing on a beautiful sunny day. Life had returned with birds chirping and butterflies fluttering about, Diluc’s mind finally starting to find peace again. Feeling the other start to relax even further against him, Diluc couldn’t help but smile a bit.
“Sleep my phoenix, I will be here for you when you wake up.”
Slowly, he began to hum an old lullaby from his nearly forgotten childhood in Liyue. It had been a long time since he had had it sung to him, and even the image of the person who sang it to him was hazy. But he remembered feeling warm, feeling so incredibly safe whenever he heard it.
And just like how it used to make him fall asleep almost instantly, it worked like a charm on Diluc. The other finally relaxed completely against Zhongli, his breathing steady and even. Still, Zhongli kept humming, wanting to make sure that the other had finally gained some peace.
But, eventually, he had to go. Dawn was approaching and despite his anger at the shadow, it was right in the terms that Zhongli did not belong here.
Carefully, he placed Diluc on the ground, making sure that the other was as comfortable as possible before leaning over to place on last kiss on the forehead, “Sleep well my phoenix, I’ll see you soon.”
Straightening, Zhongli only had to blink and he was back in bed, sitting up with his hand still in place among crimson locks of hair.
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The other occupant in the bed was, perhaps unsurprisingly, still asleep. But he looked much more peaceful than before. He was now only slightly curled up into a loose ball, no longer looking as if he wanted to protect himself or hide from a threat. The trembling had ceased with his arms coming to be comfortably placed under him, acting more as pillows than things to keep himself together. He no longer gnawed at his lip and his tears had stopped, his expression now completely relaxed and devoid of the distress from earlier.
Sighing a little, Zhongli let a small smile appear as he looked at the other. There were definitely some things the two of them would have to talk about, and he was sure that he’d have to answer some questions. But looking at the other, how serene he finally was, Zhongli could easily claim that it was worth having a few questions thrown his way.
Shifting to finally settle back down onto the bed, Zhongli wrapped his arms around Diluc and pulled the slightly shorter male towards him. Slightly curling up around the other, Zhongli placed a final kiss onto the crown of Diluc’s head before he finally let himself drift back to sleep.
And they stayed that way until the sun was peeking through the windows, casting a golden glow over the scene of a dragon protecting his beloved phoenix.