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“And the Best Rapper of the Year award goes to....”
Akali could hear her heartbeat drumming in her ears. She could barely keep herself still. Oh, she was so restless.
She knows she would win that award. At least, that’s what she liked to believe. After all, she had so many people cheering for her when she released her solo tracks. She even made a record of having the most streams on Youtube the moment her music video came out. Why wouldn’t she win, right?
As the suspense dragged on, she swore she could already hear her name being called.
How would she receive the award? What would she say once she’s already on stage?
Just as the host was about to announce the winner, an abrupt knock on the door echoed in the background.
Wait, a knock on the-
“Darling, get up or you’ll be late for the awards show.” Came the hushed voice of a particular demon, her breath tickling Akali’s ear.
“Mmmh.” Akali groaned, scrunching her face in the process. “5 more minutes.”
The rapper heard a sigh. “Fine. I’ll be back in 5, and you should be up by then or I’ll feed you breakfast myself.”
Akali’s ears perked up at that, then a smirk tugged on the corner of her lips. “I won’t be up in 5 minutes then.”
She didn’t even have to peek to see that the Diva had rolled her eyes at her response. They both knew each other long enough to be able to see through their exteriors and their antics.
“Gods, you’re such a brat.”
It prompted Akali to open one eye only to see Evelynn peering down at her with a mischievous glint in her eyes. She felt her face heat up and a familiar warmth travelled her body when the demoness pressed a kiss on her forehead.
“Good morning, love.” She said, smiling at Akali.
“Hmmm.. It’s always a good morning waking up to you and your kisses.” Akali replied, yawning as she stretched her body and she felt the bed dip beside her as Evelynn sat down.
A warm hand cards through Akali’s disheveled hair, massaging her scalp in the process. Akali gives a light huff. “Are you sure you’re trying to wake me up, Eve?” She asks, feeling her eyelids becoming heavy once more.
Evelynn smirks. “Is it working?” She asks, and Akali groans childishly. “Try harder.” And an idea strikes the Diva’s mind. She begins peppering kisses on Akali’s face—from her forehead, to her nose, and to her cheeks. The rapper couldn’t contain her excitement as she anticipated what was next. To her disappointment, it didn’t come. Instead, she felt Evelynn stand from the mattress and when she opened her eyes, she saw her girlfriend’s voluptuous figure walking towards the door, swaying her hips seductively.
And when she finally reached the door, Evelynn looked back at Akali, flashing her a smirk before pulling the handle.
“No offense. I love you and I definitely love kissing you, but not unless you’ve brushed your teeth, then I’m afraid there are no morning kisses for you.” She says, sending a suggestive wink at Akali.
Akali was astonished, but did not take any venom from the bite. “None taken!” She shouted before the door shut close with an audible click. She sighed, shifting to sit in an upright position. Evelynn sure knew how to push her buttons. Stretching her body one more time, she left the comforts of her bed and walked towards the dresser to pull out her outfit for the day.
-----
By the time Akali finished her bath, the older members were already gathered by the dining area—all of which are waiting for her with smiles on their faces. But that’s not what caught Akali’s attention though. It was the generous amount of food that was sitting on the dining table.
“What’s with the feast?” Akali joked.
Kai’sa laughed. “Well, we figured that we should have a good breakfast for a good day.”
Akali rolled her eyes. “In that case, then you should make breakfast like this every day.” She said, earning a playful smack on her arm from their tallest member.
“Ow!” Akali yelped, feigning pain as she turned to Evelynn. “Mom, Bokkie hit me.” She said, an exaggerated pout playing on her lips. Ahri and Kai’sa winced at the endearment their youngest member used on the Diva.
“You and your mommy kink.” Kai’sa said with a grimace. Akali stuck out her tongue in defiance. “You and your bondage ki-mmmph!” Before the rapper could even finish her sentence, Kai’sa had already placed a hand over her mouth, face visibly red all over.
Meanwhile, Ahri and Evelynn merely chuckled at their small child-like exchange. When the laughter died down and Kai’sa finally let their maknae go, Akali gave them a grateful look. Today was the annual Seoul Music Awards and her solo track had been nominated as a candidate. It’s been on her mind for weeks, the root cause of her anxieties at night before she goes to bed. And this breakfast was a way of cheering her on. It made her feel all jelly inside that she wanted to cry. But it was too early for that. She figured that she’d let herself cry later after the awards show was over, and she hoped that it would be happy tears.
-----
Akali’s leg bounced nervously in her seat, shifting in her seat each minute as the anticipation built up. She would flash a sheepish grin at the person sitting next to her whenever the pink-headed singer would glance at her who would also return the grin with a worried smile.
Aside from that, the auditorium felt terribly hot and the beads of sweat on her forehead was proof of that. At one point, she wanted to take off her matte black windbreaker to give her body a little more room to breathe. Attending an award show without the other members was truly nerve-wracking and made her feel awfully alone.
Clearing her throat, she turned to the person beside her. “It’s a bit hot, isn’t it?” She asked, a strained smile on her lips.
The singer beside her looked at her with a confused look. “Really? In my opinion it’s actually quite cold. I envy you for having a jacket with you.” She replied, smiling. Akali didn’t know how to respond, so instead, she just gave a rather awkward chuckle and faced forward once again, trying her best to focus on the host.
Unknowingly, she began tugging on the ends of her jacket, and fidgeted with her fingernails. The singer seemingly noticed Akali’s discomfort and tapped her on the shoulder.
“You’re Akali from K/DA, aren’t you?” She asked. Akali could only nod, not finding the words to speak. “I’m Seraphine and I’m actually a big fan of yours.”
Akali blinked. “You are?”
Seraphine nodded eagerly. “I once saw you perform live on tv. The way you could rile up the crowd by rapping, it made me feel as though I was there at that exact place watching you guys perform.”
Eventually Akali calmed down and her grip on her jacket slowly loosened as she became immersed with their conversation.
The two continued until Seraphine was called on stage. Akali gave her a wink and a thumbs up as the singer stood from her seat to receive her award. She stared at Seraphine in wonder as she gave her speech. She wondered how it would feel to face the audience as she spoke. How would the other members back at the penthouse react? The thought made her snort lightly. She bet they would squeal, jump around, and hit one another with cushion pillows like a bunch of kindergarteners.
Time passed and it was finally time for the rap category. Once more, Akali felt her hands become clammy. A soothing hand on her shoulder gave her a small sense of relief, knowing that it came from a newly-found friend trying to cheer her on.
“And the Best Rapper of the Year award goes to....”
Akali could hear her heartbeat drumming in her ears. She could barely keep herself still. Oh, she was so restless. It felt strangely familiar as if she’d already experienced it. She’d imagined, dreamt of it so much that it felt like a memory.
She knows she would win that award. At least, that’s what she liked to believe. Why wouldn’t she win right?
As the suspense drags on. She swears she could already hear her name being called.
How would she receive the award? What would she say once she’s already on stage?
The hosts gave the audience a knowing grin as they both readied themselves to speak. With a deep inhale, both the hosts breathed out the name that not only would disappoint Akali, but would also bring her a bout of negative thoughts.
“Congratulations to Ekko for having the best performance on True Damage!”
She deflated in her seat as Ekko practically ran on stage to receive the award. Her limbs felt limp; numb even. However, despite her chagrin, she still brought her hands together to applaud for her fellow True Damage member.
Beside her, Akali felt Seraphine give her a pitying look as if to say that she shouldn’t feel too bad. Her mind drifted back to the girls waiting for her at home. She felt a heavy pang in her chest as a wave of shame washed over her.
Once again, she fell short.
-----
The entire ride home, Akali stared into nothingness. She felt different kinds of emotion: dread, embarrassment, and anger. She feared arriving back at the penthouse because she didn’t want to face her bandmates out of shame. She was angry at herself for not doing better.
Her hands clenched into tight fists as the frown on her face grew deeper. Her eyes began to sting and her face felt hot, and it’s not because of the humidity.
“Damn it.” She hissed in between her teeth.
Akali buried her face in her palms as she took calming breaths. Closing her eyes, she recited a mantra that she made up during her time with the Kinkou.
She felt the vehicle come to a full stop, and she lifted her head to see that the cab driver was looking at her expectantly. Only then did it sink in that she was finally home. Her eyes darted towards the entrance of their penthouse.
“Miss?” The driver inquired.
Akali blinked and pulled herself back to reality, taking out a certain amount to pay the cab. She stepped out of the vehicle with a quivering breath as she took hesitant steps towards the gate.
“Miss? You forgot to pay.”
Akali came to an abrupt halt. She scrambled to find her purse, taking out a few bills and walking back to the vehicle. The cab driver’s eyes widened in shock when he received the money. It was too much, but he stayed silent. Looks like he’s going to have something other than sardines tonight. Plus, Akali was already trudging back towards the penthouse. Shrugging, the cab driver drove off.
Closing her eyes, she chanted to herself: Inhale. Exhale. Opening them once more, she immediately put on a smile on her face, praying to whatever god above that it doesn’t look too fake.
Upon entering the house, Akali announced, “Hey guys, I’m home!”, as she usually would whenever she came back from her trips.
She found three heads poking out from the kitchen, all wearing worried expressions on their faces. Akali huffed. “Why do y’all look like someone just died?” She said, trying to elicit a smile or a laugh from her bandmates, but there was none.
Instead, three of her bandmates started advancing towards her. Her body tensed up as she felt three people squeezing her in between. Her chest ached and her breath hitched. And Akali didn’t know whether it was because of the tight group hug she’s currently engulfed in or if it was because of the overwhelming mixture of negative emotions stirring up in her head. But she didn’t want to crumble in front of her friends. Not here, not yet.
With a grunt, she wriggled her way out of the embrace and stifled a laugh.
“By the gods above, I wasn’t gone that long.” She said.
Ahri pouted. “Rogue, we know how much you were excited about the award.” She said. “We just wanted to say that you still did well and we—as well as the fans, always have your back.” And Akali felt her façade falter for a fraction of a second. However, she willed herself to just keep her front just a little bit longer.
The rapper grinned at their leader. “It’s cool. I swear. I mean ‘it is what it is’, right?” She replied, making air quotes with her hands.
But Evelynn didn’t even have to use her powers to see through the rapper’s facade. The moment Akali entered through that door, she had already exuded a guarded aura. Despite the smile on her face, her demeanor was tense and void of the usual playfulness it naturally gave off. Apart from that, Evelynn narrowed her eyes ever so slightly, Akali’s smile looked totally fake, as though it was rehearsed.
“Tell you what, Bokkie, why don’t you and the others go grocery shopping while I go and take a shower and then when we’re all set, we’ll cook together? Sound good?” Akali asked, snapping Evelynn from her musings.
Kai’sa didn’t look all too convinced, but played along. “Sounds like a plan.” She said with a small smile of her own, knowing that the Rogue also needed time to herself.
Ahri, on the other hand, was about to protest if not for the nudge that the dancer sent her way. It definitely didn’t go unnoticed by the ever so observant Akali, but decided not to speak up on it.
“Awesome.” Akali said, giving them her signature salute before retreating to her bedroom in a hurried manner.
Upon shutting the door behind her, her mask immediately fell off and her true emotions surfaced. The dark room felt suffocating as if it mocked her. Why couldn’t I be better?
Meanwhile, all three members were left staring at the staircase, all equally worried about their youngest member. Once they heard the door click, Evelynn released an exasperated sigh. If Akali thought that a mere piece of woodwork would shut out the Diva from her heightened senses, then she’s gravely mistaken.
Ahri cleared her throat. “Well Bokkie, I guess you and I have a shopping trip to attend to..” She said, pausing to take a glance at her phone, “at 9pm.” She deadpanned.
Kai’sa shrugged. “No need. I just restocked the fridge the other day and Kali was with me.” She replied, and then breathed out a huff. “I guess she really just needs some time alone for now.”
“If that’s the case, then let’s just go for a take out.” Ahri suggested, then turned to Evelynn with a concerned look. “Please look after her while we’re away.” She said.
Evelynn didn’t need to be told twice. That was what she wanted to do. She wanted to engulf the rapper in an embrace, tell her that she’s great just the way she is and that she doesn’t need a trophy to validate that. However, she was not the wisest choice to seek comfort from. She’s a demon who seeps on agony for breakfast for god’s sake.
Rarely does Evelynn ever feel insecure, and at this moment, there was a small part of her that wanted to stop either Ahri or Kai’sa from leaving and just let them do the comforting while she goes out to buy them take out.
But I could try. Because there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for Akali.
Maybe she is a demon who relished in agony, but she would never forget that she’s also Akali’s lover.
Determined to lift the Rogue’s spirits, Evelynn scurried to her own room to prepare a plan to comfort Akali the way she knew how.
-----
Akali stayed in the bath longer than she had intended. Her body submerged in hot water as she leaned back in the tub, her azure orbs piercing the white ceiling.
Her biggest insecurity was her voice. She knew her vocals weren’t as sweet and charming as Ahri’s, weren’t as deep and husky like Evelynn’s, and weren’t as cool and chill like Kai’sa’s.
Bottomline: she only rapped because she can’t sing. Not that well, at least.
Regardless, it might’ve been the reason she didn’t win the award. Either that or.. maybe her haters were right about her not deserving a spot in K/DA. That she just got lucky; a street rapper who can’t impress anyone, but the streets. Then her mind drifted to the BLADES—their group’s fandom, and wondered, maybe the only reason they liked Akali is because of her laid-back attitude. The way she could vibe with the crowd and instantly make friends out of strangers she just met. But did they ever genuinely like her works?
She shuddered at the thought and sighed.
Cut it out, Kali. She scolded herself, shaking her head and deciding to finally get dressed.
Once she was done drying herself, she turned around, expecting to see her clothes hanging from the railing, but frowned when she didn’t find them there. With an annoyed grunt, Akali opened the door of her bathroom and stepped out, visibly shivering when the cold breeze coming from the air conditioning unit met her towel clad body.
She hissed, muttering something about being stupid for not bringing her clothes in the bathroom with her. What made it worse was the fact that she wasn’t wearing her glasses so she couldn’t see clearly. Squinting her eyes, she found her glasses sitting atop the stack of clothes that was at the edge of her bed. She released a sigh of relief and walked towards it.
And then she heard a knock from her bedroom door.
“Give me a sec.” Akali announced, quickly slipping on her pajamas and her glasses.
She pulled the door open and revealed a tall, platinum haired woman standing outside, with her hands behind her back. However, Akali was too surprised of Evelynn’s presence that she failed to notice the gesture. Instead, the girl’s eyes widened when she realized that her girlfriend stayed behind. Without missing another beat, she plastered a smile on her face.
“Oh, hey. What’s up?” Akali tried to play coolly.
“Good evening, love. Have you just finished bathing?” Evelynn asked. Akali nodded, and stepped aside to let her lover in. “So I take it that Ahri and Bokkie went out to buy stuff?” Akali said, padding towards her vanity mirror as she prepared her blow dryer.
“Mmhm.” Evelynn answered, closing the door and approached the bed.
Akali nodded in silence as she began drying her hair. Evelynn watched her do her hair routine as she observed the rapper’s features. A slightly red nose matched with an unusual tint in her cheeks and bloodshot eyes. Of course, she cried. The demoness felt annoyance. She wanted to let Akali know that it was nothing she should be afraid of showing. Not to her, at least.
“Darling?” Evelynn called out.
“Yeah?” Came Akali’s immediate reply.
“You know it’s alright to show that you’re not okay, right?”
There was silence for a moment.
“But I am fine.” Akali said with a blank expression on her face.
“I can smell your pain even from a mile away, Akali.” Not to mention, that permanent scowl on your face is giving you away. Evelynn thought.
Silence ensued once more. Of course, her girlfriend is a demon who thrives in human agony. How could she have forgotten such a basic thing?
A sigh, then she heard footsteps growing closer. Soft fingertips ran through her skin and it tingled, sending shivers in her spine. The next thing Akali felt was a warm breath hovering her ear, a familiar sweet scent filled her nostrils.
“Sing for me, will you?” Evelynn asked in a whisper.
Akali stilled. Turning off the blow dryer for a while as she glanced over her shoulders. She had a hunch concerning what this was about, but she played along. “That’s so random.” She said.
“I just miss hearing you sing..” Evelynn said with a pout on her full lips, and Akali found it hard to resist. Goddamn Eve and her natural allure.
A real smile graced her lips as Akali faced back to her vanity mirror, combing her hair with her hands.
“You’re just too good to be true,” She started.
Her voice was light and calming. “Can’t take my eyes off you. You’d be like heaven to touch,”
Akali turned and was caught off guard when she saw Evelynn holding out a placard that read:
‘Akali Tethi’s biggest simp <3 ’
She tittered, and in all honesty, cringed at the word her eons-old girlfriend used, but nonetheless, she continued her performance. She grabbed her comb, using it as a mic as she started swaying along with the song. “I wanna hold you so much.”
She then began to lead both herself and the Diva back to the bed with a teasing smile on her lips as she held out her hand. “At long last, love has arrived. And I thank God I’m alive.”
Akali gave Evelynn a wink and the latter let out a low chuckle. There was a warm and fuzzy feeling that spread throughout Evelynn’s chest as she listened to her girlfriend serenade her.
“You’re just too good to be true.” Akali continued on, leaning in close. “Can’t take my eyes off you.”
The last line was a mere whisper as their breaths ghosted over each other’s face. Evelynn closed her eyes in anticipation, but frowned when she felt the rapper give her a peck on the nose.
“What a tease.” Evelynn remarked sarcastically, which only made Akali laugh as she clutched her stomach.
“Yeah? And how’d you like it? Being left hanging, I mean?” She joked, pertaining to their earlier exchange during the morning. Evelynn rolled her eyes, the corner of her lips tugging upward. She scooted aside and gave a pat on the space beside her.
Akali knew what it meant and willingly accepted the cuddle offer. They laid there in comfortable silence, the blow dryer and the hair routine long forgotten.
“You know..” Evelynn started. “Even if you didn’t win the award, you still have the best voice I have ever listened to.”
Akali scoffed. “More like bore you to sleep.”
“Oh, darling, I don’t sleep when I’m bored. Surely you can vouch for that.” Evelynn retorted.
Flustered, Akali felt her face heat up as she understood what her girlfriend was talking about. “Stooop~” Akali whined. “I’m being serious here.”
“And who said I’m not? I meant it when I said that you have the best voice I have ever listened to.” Evelynn retorted.
Akali pursed her lips. “Now you’re just exaggerating, Eve.”
“For the nth time, ‘Kali. I’m serious.” This was the second time Akali heard Evelynn speak so casually.
But the sincerity in Evelynn’s golden irises could not be denied. There was that familiar feeling of giddiness in her tummy as she realized what Evelynn was trying to imply. This was her girlfriend trying her best to lift the rapper’s spirits up by saying that she was enough.
Chuckling, Akali shook her head sideways. “If that were even true, I’d steal your position from the group as a lead vocal.” She said skittishly.
“And I’ll gladly let you have it, if it meant hearing you sing.”
“God, you’re so cheesy. Like, when did you even get the time to do this?” Akali says, holding up the placard with an amused smile.
‘Akali Tethi’s biggest simp <3’
Evelynn clicked her tongue. “Oh please. You love it. And you were the one who took too long in the bath.”
Akali snickered as she stared at her girlfriend in awe. “I’m sorry.” She said sheepishly.
Evelynn raised her brows. “For what?” She asked.
The rapper shrugged. “For trying to hide what I truly felt. It’s just.. I didn’t want to worry you guys.”
“You’ll never be a burden. Not to us, not ever.” Evelynn said, cupping Akali’s cheeks to capture her lips in a gentle lip-lock.
“Thank you, Evie.” Akali said, smiling in the kiss. “And I do love it, by the way.”
“The what?”
“The sap that you secretly are.”
“Don’t push it, Rogue or I might actually smother you with so much sap that you’ll get sick of it.”
This time, it was Akali’s turn to roll her eyes. “Yeah. As if I’ll ever get tired of you and your shenanigans.”
And they laughed, cradled in each other’s embrace just as they heard a knock on the door, which swung open without another warning. Kai’sa and Ahri stood next to each other, both adorning smiles on their face.
“Now that’s just unfair. We want cuddles too!” Kai’sa chirped.
“Indeed, the cupcakes can wait.” Ahri said, nodding her head in agreement. Akali’s ears perked up at the mention of the pastry. “Cupcakes?” She asks, earning her a light flick to the forehead from Evelynn.
“Well, yeah. You did want to work in the kitchen together. If the entire kitchen burns, that’s on you.”
Kai’sa laughed. “Yeah like I’ll ever let that happen. Now,” She began, slipping off her slippers. “Cuddles!” She squeals as she dove in between the couple. Ahri, compared to Kai’sa, elegantly slipped in the embrace, audibly purring into the warmth.
Akali once again found herself squeezed in between the three women who’ve been and who’ll always be there for her. Her chest felt tight, but this time, it was no longer because of the emotions that strangled her, rather, it was because of the contentment that filled her heart with overflowing happiness.
-----
End.