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Chapter Text

#

Standing on Ronan's ship, watching Jack adjust the formation of the crystals within its engine, Sam stifled a gasp when the hum of the engine changed.

She found herself watching him, unable and unwilling to let him out of her sight for long. There was still so much she wanted to say to him, so much he needed to hear, but every time she tried, he stopped her. And then there was the other matter, the final conversation she'd had with General Hammond before he'd left for Washington DC and they'd left for what she knew might very well be their last mission.

"Sir, I think you should know that General Hammond authorized me to take command of the team if I determined it…"

Jack looked up from the tray of crystals. The flickering lights of the engine room caused shadows to pass over his face. "Do it now."

Sam shook her head. "Sir, I don't think that's necessary yet." She had hoped it wouldn't be necessary at all, but his condition continued to deteriorate – develop – at a rate that was alarming.

"I trust you." His eyes softened and the corners of his mouth tilted upwards in a bittersweet smile that was both proud and sad. "I'll make it easy for you. I resign. You're in charge."

She swallowed the lump that rose in her throat. "Okay." And just like that, she was team leader of SG-1. It took her brain a moment to realise what else it meant. She didn't need to relieve him of command because he'd retired, which meant… which meant… "Sir. At your house, before Daniel and Teal'c showed up…" She took a small breath and ploughed on. "What I was going to say was…"

Jack looked up again. His eyes met hers. "I know."

They stared at one another over the open panel until he pushed it back in, the final barrier between them gone.

He'd retired, she told herself, which meant no regulations.

Nothing to stop them from -

She would never be able to say which of them moved first. One moment they were staring at each other, the lights flickering around them, the next they were kissing, his hands on her face and in her hair and hers clutching at his jacket.

Of all the ways she'd imagined their first kiss – well, second, if virus-induced kisses counted – she'd somehow never imagined it being so desperate, or so bittersweet. She parted her lips under his and tasted the saltiness of her own tears mingling with the taste that was uniquely Jack O'Neill.

She was an instant addict, and knew one kiss would never – could never – be enough. There was a reason they'd kept their feelings locked up in that damn room for so long, and that was because once they started this, both knew they wouldn't be able to stop.

Not willingly.

Which was why the tears kept falling, even when he broke the kiss to pull her into his arms instead. She felt his lips brush against her neck, a flashback of the last time he'd held her coming back to her. She'd been crying then, too, upset at the loss of Janet, relieved that he'd been able to defy the odds again and stay with her.

If only she knew then how short-lived the respite would be. If only they'd known the clock was ticking and time was almost up.

"It'll be okay." His voice was muffled against her, so much so that she felt the vibrations of it run through her body. "Trust me, Sam. It'll be okay."

She didn't answer, just tightened her arms around him, praying to whatever fates were out there listening that he was right.

#

No one gets left behind.

The thought kept running through her head like a broken record.

No one gets left behind.

No one.

But they'd left him.

Not willingly – never willingly. But she still felt guilty about it, still saw him encased in glass and ice in the stasis chamber every time she closed her eyes.

They'd left him behind, and she didn't know when or if they'd be able to get him back.

She left the SGC only when she was ordered to do so, and only when Doctor Weir threatened to have the SF's escort her to her car. She still couldn't get him out of her mind, couldn't stop remembering the kiss they'd shared and the look in his eyes as he'd bid them goodbye.

He'd sounded as though he thought it was forever, and a part of her hated him for that. She remembered his words to her, 'it'll be okay', and how she'd taken that as gospel, as a promise.

It wasn't a promise she was willing to let him break.

The drive home was a blur. She parked her car in the drive and didn't notice the truck parked up along the sidewalk. Her mind was full of ideas of how she could help the Colonel, how she could reach their allies and get them to help. They'd already sent messages to the Tok'ra and the Asgard, but so far neither had replied. As much as she wanted her father there to support her on a personal level, she knew the Asgard were Jack's best hope so was already thinking of ways she could get to Thor in person and inform him of Jack's situation. The thoughts distracted her so much that she didn't realise the door to her house was unlocked until she was standing in the hallway and saw Pete waiting with a big grin on his face.

Part of her wanted to walk into his open arms and lose herself for a while.

The other part of her won.

"Pete."

"Hey, Sam. I got worried when you didn't call me back." His grin slipped a little at her unenthusiastic greeting and he covered the gap between them. Something in her body language must have warned him against reaching out for her, though, as his arms fell back to his sides. "Is everything okay? You're not hurt, are you?"

His eyes searched her even as he asked. The concern in his voice and on his face should have warmed her but, instead, Sam felt cold. As cold as the Colonel, she imagined, trapped in his icy glass coffin in Antarctica.

"I'm… I need some space, Pete." The words left her before she could think about what she was saying, but the sense of relief she felt once they were out in the open told her it was the right thing to do. She felt guilty for leading him on, guilty that one kiss with Jack had meant more to her than three months' worth of dates with Pete. She felt guilty that she didn't feel guilty enough about kissing Jack behind Pete's back, but the feeling of rightness she'd had when in the Colonel's arms told her he was who she was meant to be with, even if it meant waiting. "I'm sorry. I know it's a cliché," and Jack hated cliches, she thought briefly, "but it really is true. It's not you, you're wonderful. But I… I'm not in the right place for this. I can't – I can't be what you want or deserve."

Pete listened, his eyes narrowing. As a cop, he was used to reading between the lines. "There's someone else," he said, a statement, not a question. He sounded resigned, but not surprised. "I know you wanted to take this slow, Sam, that you said it was complicated… But there is someone else, isn't there?"

She closed her eyes, unable to deny it. "I'm sorry."

"You and me both." He brushed past her, heading towards the door. She opened her eyes and turned to see him pause. "If you change your mind, you know where I am."

She knew where she could find him, but also knew she wouldn't get in touch. She'd tried too long, too hard to make a relationship doomed to failure work. She'd invested a lot of time into it, telling herself it was what she wanted, telling herself it was what she deserved.

It wasn't. It was what she thought she wanted, but settling for second best wasn't an option anymore.

She knew what she wanted, and she was going to make sure she got it.

No matter how long it took.

#

Relief at finally being able to do something warred with fear that, by the time she got back – if she got back – it would be too late. Teal'c was piloting the modified cargo ship, which gave Sam a chance to try and distract herself from thoughts of Jack by studying the engines. If only she was able to put him out of her mind while she was doing it, she thought she might've made more progress.

Giving up for a while, seeking a distraction, she made herself a sandwich and left the back of the ship to join her teammate.

"Hey, Teal'c. Can I get you anything?" She picked at her own sandwich; her appetite was non-existent but she felt like she had to at least go through the motions. "I packed lots of turkey, I know it's your favourite."

Teal'c glanced at her, a small smile playing on his lips. "Thank you, but I am not currently hungry." His gaze lingered for a moment, before returning to the viewscreen in front of them and the dazzling array of stars they passed. "Have you been able to determine how O'Neill modified the engines?"

"No. I'm just taking a break. I didn't think it would be easy, but at least it's a good way to pass the time. I'm sorry. have I been ignoring you?" Feeling guilty that she hadn't taken his feelings into account – still waters certainly ran deep where Teal'c was concerned, she knew – Sam sat down in the co-pilot's chair.

Her teammate, however, didn't appear too upset by her neglect. "I am fine."

She nodded, having expected the answer. Still, she was reluctant to return to the engines, to the daunting task ahead of her. She, too, looked at the stars whizzing by, and she knew she'd never tire of it - though she wished the ship would move faster. She was desperate to reach Asgard space, desperate to make contact with Thor. He was her last – only – hope for saving Jack.

"I thought maybe working on the engines would help take my mind off Colonel O'Neill, which is kind of silly, considering he's the one who modified them," she admitted, knowing she could trust Teal'c to understand. "I know this plan isn't exactly fool proof. I've never plotted an intergalactic course before. I mean, if the coordinates are off by even one half of a per cent, we could wind up ten thousand light-years from our destination." She couldn't stop herself from babbling, from voicing her fears. At least she was with Teal'c, who she knew she could trust. Her teammates were amongst the few she could truly be herself with. She took a deep breath and nodded, mostly to herself. "But still, I'm trying to stay positive."

Teal'c inclined his head, the corners of his lips quirking upwards ever so slightly. "I have the utmost confidence in your ability."

"I know." And she would never not be grateful for it, for him and his confidence in her. It was the same unwavering confidence she had in each of her teammates, a knowledge that no matter what they wouldn't let each other down. Remembering that brought her guilt back with a vengeance. They'd left Jack behind and she was determined to put that right. "So, you wanna talk?" She asked, desperately in need of a distraction from her thoughts.

A low rumble escaped him. It could have meant yes or no; sometimes it was difficult to tell with Teal'c. "Concerning what subject?"

"I don't know." Anything, she thought with a sigh. "How's Rya'c?"

"Fine."

Sam stifled a sigh, watching the stars. "You still keeping in touch with Ishta?" She thought he was, and hoped he was. She liked the female Jaffa and thought her a perfect match for her friend.

Teal'c appeared to agree but didn't go into any details. "Indeed."

"Bra'tac?" She tried again.

"Bra'tac is well."

She sighed and shook her head. "Come on, Teal'c. Throw me a bone here."

He gave her a sidelong glance, an eyebrow quirked. "How is Pete Shanahan?"

"He's fine, as far as I know," she said with a shrug. Suddenly, the stars were very interesting again. She tried a smile, but it felt more like a grimace.

"Is not all well between the two of you?" Teal'c enquired.

"No. I mean, everything's fine. It's… I ended it." She felt his gaze on her and shrugged. "It's just, as you well know, it's not easy saying goodbye to someone you care about when you think there's a chance you may never see them again." She saw him nod out of the corner of her eye and wondered if he knew she was thinking about Jack even as she spoke about Pete. Saying goodbye to the Colonel had been a thousand times harder than breaking up with Pete. "I know that's a risk we take every time we step through the Stargate, but still." It was a risk they accepted; one they took. One she'd continue to take every time she stepped through the gate, with or without Jack O'Neill at her side. "I'm trying to stay positive."

About Jack. About their relationship.

About the future she dreamed of, hoped for more than she'd hoped for anything before in her life.

She smiled and glanced at Teal'c to find a small, knowing grin on his face. Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, she got to her feet. "I'll get you a sandwich."

#

She knew the moment she woke up that it wasn't real. She remembered being on Thor's ship, remembered being beamed away by Fifth. She remembered his repeated torture of her, the pain of having her mind exposed to him. She remembered sobbing, unable to contain her emotions after the endless assault and too many sleepless nights worrying about the Colonel and the pain of having the only hope she had of saving him be dashed.

The farmhouse was beautiful, picked out of her memory. She'd had a great aunt who lived on a ranch and vaguely recognised the furniture as having been taken directly from her hazy memories of a childhood summer spent there learning to ride horses under her mother's watchful eye. It'd been the last summer she'd spent with her mom, the last summer before her childhood had been so cruelly ripped away.

When she heard someone walking out of the barn, she prepared herself. Readied herself. If this was a projection, an image Fifth had created to torment and to torture, then she was fully expecting her companion in the scenario to be –

Pete?

No. She frowned, shaking herself mentally. Pete wasn't who she would've chosen to settle down with, move away with, but as soon as the thought occurred, she fought it back, desperate to keep it from Fifth.

Desperate to keep him from using Jack against her.

The Pete in the strange, unreal world was eerily similar to the Pete she'd left behind on Earth in some ways and yet different in others. The glimpse of his temper that came through with frustration that she wouldn't believe he was real, wouldn't believe that she'd honestly left the SGC to set up a life with him in the middle of nowhere…

That unnerved her and unsettled her. Though she'd not seen that kind of darkness in him, she recognised that on some level she'd always been aware it was there. It reminded her of another man, of Jonas Hanson, and she told herself she'd had a lucky escape.

#

It was a surreal feeling, to find himself suddenly awake but not in his body. He wondered if it was anything like Carter's experience with the entity that had transferred her consciousness into the SGC mainframe but quickly decided it wasn't. From what she'd said, she'd felt cut off from everything, deprived of sensory stimulation in every way possible.

For Jack, it was different.

He was free to travel throughout the system, his mind able to process the information readily available on Thor's ship.

He was able to access the visual sensors and see his team – well, Daniel and Teal'c – standing with Thor beside the stasis chamber, and was able to see himself, which was a wholly weird experience. He could read the sensors monitoring his body's status, and was vaguely reassured that Thor seemed to know what he was doing, but then he realised that there was a member of his team missing, the very person he'd been hoping and expecting to see.

Carter.

Thinking of her must have summoned up whatever files Thor had about her on the ship – and there were lots of them, some he wondered about. A record of the times she'd met the Asgard and saved their tiny grey asses, a file full of information from medical scans he assumed the Asgard ship must automatically run to make sure there was no danger posed by the Tau'ri being aboard.

And then he reached the conversation Daniel had had with Teal'c and heard the recording in his head – kind of. It was a strange thing to think but he would've sworn his heart had stopped beating for a moment, a lingering memory of what it felt like to feel pain going through him.

In the recording, Jack heard and say Daniel look around the Asgard ship, a frown on his face as he asked Teal'c where Sam was. He saw the grave look on Teal'c face, the glimmer of pain in the stoic Jaffa's eyes and heard it in his grim voice.

"She was captured by replicators. The ship was destroyed."

Sam was gone. Sam was dead.

After everything he'd done to save the goddamn world once more and it was too late to make all of the sacrifices worthwhile.

Sam Carter was dead, and, for a dark moment, Jack O'Neill didn't care if he never got back into his body.

He played the fool as was expected of him, buying himself some time. When Thor suggested he appear to them as a hologram, he waited a moment longer to make sure there was nothing in the projected image that would give his turmoil away.

It was more than weird to see a version of himself appear on the bridge, and to then be able to see through that version's eyes, too. He concentrated, letting the part of his brain still acting with the knowledge of the Ancients to carry on doing whatever it was doing while forming a barrier between himself and the ships mainframe. He breathed a sigh of relieve when what he was 'seeing' through the ship faded, like a TV channel set on mute. His main link, for the moment, was with the hologram, allowing him to walk over to the stasis chamber holding his body.

"I've never looked better," he said dryly, wincing at how weak his physical form looked. It didn't matter, a small voice at the back of his mind told him darkly. It didn't matter anymore; without Sam, he didn't have much in the way of hopes for the future or use for the physical form in front of him.

"There is not much time, O'Neill," Thor prompted him.

Teal'c gave a small nod to show his agreement. "Thor's planet…"

"I know," Jack interrupted. "Ships log." He hoped that would be enough, that they wouldn't say anything else.

"Can you help with the replicators?" Thor asked, unaware that he – or part of him – already was.

"Already on it," he said with a shrug, not entirely sure what the ship was doing but knowing that somewhere, it was doing something because he'd commanded it to.

Daniel took a step closer to him, his blue eyes dark with grief and worry. "Jack," he started, hesitating. Not knowing how to say it, not knowing he didn't have to.

"Daniel," Jack interrupted again. "The computer recorded the whole conversation. Thanks for your concern." His throat hurt, though he told himself that was impossible. He couldn't be having a physical reaction to losing Sam because he didn't have a physical form, though it felt like he was on the verge of breaking down. He looked at the three of them, tried in vain to not think about the person who wasn't there. "Talk amongst yourselves," he ordered and allowed his mind to shut down the hologram.

He needed a moment.

A long moment.

He needed the solitude of the darkness, the distraction of the mainframe.

He needed... Sam.

#

Chapter Text

#

She was still stuck in the farmhouse, or at least in the simulation of it. She finished forcing herself to eat the pancakes 'Pete' had made her and gave him a fake smile. "Thanks. That was great." He beamed at her and she felt bad for a moment. "Tasted very real."

Pete sighed, setting both plates down on the counter. "Hey, I was thinking. We could go into town tonight, have dinner, see a movie."

She shook her head, her eyes cold as she crossed her arms over her chest. "C'mon. You can't really expect me to just play along with this."

The sound of the frying pan hitting the counter as he slammed it down made her jump. The anger that flashed in his eyes made her flinch. "I gave up my job for this! I gave up my life for you!"

"See? That's definitely not Pete," she protested, though a small part of her told her it was. All Fifth knew of Pete he'd taken from her mind. On a subconscious level, she thought she must have realised he had this in him, this ability to flip off the charm and reveal a different, darker side to his character. Even as she protested against this image of him, she had to admit to herself it was more real than she was comfortable with.

"How patient do you expect me to be?" Pete demanded, his tone of voice familiar. It brought back a memory of one of their first arguments, of the fight they'd had after they'd slept together for the first time and she'd refused to tell him more about her job.

That was a side of Pete she'd tried to block out, tried to pretend didn't exist.

"Nothing you say is going to convince me." But she swallowed, shaking her head. This isn't real, she reminded herself. None of this is real. "I know who you are," she continued, "I just don't understand why. What do you want from me? Why are you doing this?"

Pete walked closer, the smile on his face familiar but not. Even though she was expecting it, she still recoiled when his features transformed into those of Fifth. "Because I love you," the replicator told her earnestly.

#

Returning to his body was just as surreal as waking up with his mind inside of a computer. While he told Daniel he couldn't remember anything, he could.

He could remember too much, just nothing related to the device the Ancient side of his brain had apparently created while he'd been dwelling on the situation. He walked over to it, studied it, and still had no clue.

"Yeah, I got nothing," he admitted, putting his hands into his pockets.

The ship exited hyperspace and the viewscreen activated, distracting them all from studying the device in the hopes that it's true purpose would somehow reveal itself. Thor engaged Penegal, a member of the Asgard High Council, in conversation, but his relief that the High Councillor could still communicate with them was short-lived. After confirming that there were no human life signs on Orilla, they lost the signal with the Asgard on the planet.

"Are you sure you don't know what this does, Jack?" Daniel asked, studying the device again.

"Not a clue," Jack admitted.

"But you made it," Daniel pointed out.

"Technically… yes. Doesn't mean I know what it is."

As they studied the device again, they were hailed by Commander Aegir of the Valhalla, who confirmed they had lost contact with the colony, too.

"We have located what appears to be the remains of a human-form replicator, floating in space. It has obviously survived the destruction of its ship," Aegir reported, "but by all appearances, it is currently inactive."

Thor tilted his head. "Transmit the coordinates," he instructed.

Aegir did as requested but had one last message for Thor before the viewscreen disengaged. "Use caution, Thor."

Daniel looked from the black screen to the Asgard standing at the controls of the ship named after him. "What are you going to do?"

Thor's hands moved swiftly over the control panel in front of him. "We must learn the location of the human-form replicator controlling the replicators on the planet," the Asgard explained. There was a flash of light as Thor transported the damaged replicator into the stasis chamber.

Daniel and Teal'c moved closer to it, while Jack hesitated a moment.

"Anybody recognise him?" Daniel asked. He hadn't been with the team when they'd encountered the human replicators in Thor's galaxy previously, though had read all about it in the mission reports he'd studied once he'd returned after descending.

Teal'c studied the features of the male in the stasis chamber. "I do not."

Taking a step closer, Jack stared at it warily. He put his hand on the glass cover. "Is it dead?"

"Hopefully, not completely," Thor answered as Jack jerked his hand away. "All replicators are linked by a sophisticated communication system. If we can use this one to tap into the network, we will be able to see what any of the replicators can see."

"And if he wakes up," Jack continued warily, "is this pod going to hold him?"

Thor considered it for a moment, blinking his large black eyes. "Probably not."

"Oh, this is a bad idea," Jack muttered. He watched as Teal'c primed his weapon and nodded in approval. "That's a good idea." Collecting two weapons from the case that had been beamed aboard, he handed one to Daniel before readying his own.

There was a tense moment, as the three of them kept watch over the replicator in the chamber. The viewscreen flickered with white lines as Thor explained he was scanning communication data being transmitted to and from the human form replicator.

Jack glanced up at the screen and did a double-take. His attention full diverted from the replicator in the stasis pod, he felt his heart begin to race. "Zoom in!" He ordered, stepping up closer to the screen as the image began to get closer.

After a few seconds, Thor was able to zoom in and clear it up.

"Sam," Daniel murmured, his eyes wide.

The viewscreen was filled with an image of their missing teammate, almost enclosed completely by replicator blocks. Only her face and some of her hair were visible, and there were lines on her face Jack thought showed she was in pain.

"Can you pinpoint her location?" He demanded, his hand clenching into a fist in an effort and keeping himself from reaching out to touch her image.

Thor was silent for a moment. "She is within a small replicator structure on the planet. It is some distance outside of the colony, near a rich vein of neutronium."

Hope flared in his chest, even as the image flickered and disappeared. As the human form replicator awakened and was released from the chamber, Jack felt a surge of determination to defy the odds once more. Sam was alive, at least for now. That was enough motivation for him to do whatever he needed to keep her that way. The three members of SG-1 took aim and fired. Their weapons were useless, but Teal'c was determined, throwing itself at the replicator as Daniel and Thor took cover. Following his instincts though he didn't understand them, thoughts of rescuing Carter on his mind, Jack picked up the device he had apparently designed, took aim and fired it.

The replicator disintegrated, fuelling his growing hope that there was a way to get Sam back.

"Now that I have seen what the device does, I may be able to modify a larger version to broadcast a disruption wave over all of Orilla," Thor theorised.

"That's good," Jack said quickly, "but while you're doing that…"

Thor looked up from the console. "I cannot transport you inside the replicator ship on the planet. Their defences would prevent it, but I can get you close."

Jack grinned, exchanging a look with his teammates, both of whom started to grab weapons. "Close is good."

The three of them were transported down, with Jack in charge of the Ancient device he'd created. He grinned as he fired it, relieved it worked as well on the smaller replicators as it had on the human form replicator. He, Daniel and Teal'c continued to fire on the creatures only to realise they were being given a wide berth, the replicators swarming around them to…

Fifth.

"Stop." The human form replicator stood surrounded by his creations. "If you harm me or any more of my brethren, I assure you, Major Carter will die instantly."

"How about you let her go and we'll think about it?" Jack counter-offered.

Fifth didn't answer, walking backwards as the replicators swarmed around him, protecting him from the three remaining members of SG-1. The threat wasn't a futile one, and they all knew it.

"Thor?" Jack spoke into the comm device as the human form replicator disappeared from view. "How close are you to modifying your ship?"

"It is fifty per cent charged, O'Neill," Thor responded. "If this works, you will have once again saved the Asgard."

"I'm real happy for you, I'm extremely proud, but we've got a little bit of a problem down here." He swallowed the lump that rose in his throat, fighting down the sudden wave of fear that it'd been going too well and he should've known better. "Fifth detected our approach and he claims he can kill Carter, instantly."

There was a small pause. "O'Neill…"

He gritted his teeth, knowing what Thor was thinking. "Hey, I know what you're going to say. Her life was already sacrificed and you've got your whole planet to worry about, but I've got problems, too."

Most notably being that Sam Carter meant more to him than anything and that, despite his best efforts to the contrary, he still cared for her a lot more than he was supposed to. More, he reflected, than he had when he'd uttered those words for the first time.

"Jack," Daniel interrupted. "Listen."

Jack did, and heard what his teammates had. The sound of replicators, of all shapes and sizes, moving towards them – past them. "Thor, are you ready?"

"What is happening, O'Neill?"

Jack frowned. "The replicators are retreating."

"You cannot allow that to happen," Thor informed him. "The weapon is not yet ready."

"Right." Jack glanced at his teammates, stifled a sigh. "Let's go."

They followed the direction the replicators had taken, towards what they all hoped would be the replicator ship – and Sam.

#

"They're killing us," Fifth informed him, his face stricken. "They are killing my brethren."

"Who is?" As far as Sam was aware, there was no way of killing the replicators. Stopping them for a while, yes, but not killing them.

"The one you call O'Neill," he told her, his eyes narrowing as he advanced. "I told him I would kill you if he did not stop, and yet he still persists. Why?"

"O'Neill?" Her knees felt weak and it had nothing to do with the threat of death. If Jack was there, it meant the Asgard had got to him in time. That they'd found a way to save him. The relief she felt was immeasurable.

"If he loves you as I do, why is he prepared to risk your life?" Fifth demanded, taking another step closer. "I sensed this from him. I sense it from you." He tilted his head, looking at her – into her. "I do not understand."

"You wouldn't," she told him softly, not even denying that he was right. "He – they – know that I would rather be dead than trapped like this forever. It's your choice, Fifth. You can kill me if you want to, but if you really, truly love me the way you think you, the way humans do, you would let me go."

Fifth was quiet for a moment, his study of her continuing. "O'Neill let you go." He frowned. "And you let him go. You are with the one known as Pete. I saw it."

"Look again," Sam told him softly. "You know my thoughts, my feelings. Look deeper."

He did, seeing and feeling a hundred things in the blink of an eye. "I understand."

"So, you'll let me go?" He said nothing, just took a step back. The farmhouse and its quaint yard disappeared around them, revealing the interior of a replicator ship. "Fifth?"

He continued to back away from her, until he was swallowed by the wall behind him, leaving Sam alone to contemplate her fate.

#

The ship took off, just as Thor's ship descended into the planet's atmosphere. A shockwave told them that the device had been activated, even before the replicators that remained disintegrated before their eyes.

"The weapon worked, O'Neill," Thor's voice came through clearly. "Reports from the colonel say that all remaining replicators have been neutralised. While the ship was able to escape, we now have an effective means of fighting the replicators."

But Sam was gone, Jack thought, feeling numb. They'd been so close to finding her, so close to –

"O'Neill," Thor's voice sounded urgent and interrupted his macabre thoughts. "I am detecting a fourth life sign in your immediate vicinity."

"Sam," Daniel whispered, hope lighting his eyes. "Sam!"

Teal'c joined in as the three of them set off, beginning to search the area. "Samantha Carter!"

"Carter!" Jack called out, heart beginning to race in anticipation of what they'd find.

It was Teal'c who found her, calling to Jack and Daniel as he helped support her up into a sitting position.

Jack made it to her side as Daniel reached them, dropping to his knees beside her. He couldn't resist reaching out a hand to touch her, to check she really there and not a figment of his imagination. His hand lingered on her leg, deeming the contact necessary. "You okay?"

"I'm fine, Sir." She met his gaze, a smile breaking out across her lips. She looked and sounded exhausted, but her eyes were bright and her smile – the smile he knew belonged to him. "I'm glad to see you."

"Likewise," Jack murmured, his hand on her leg tightening reflexively. He was vaguely aware of Daniel and Teal'c grinning like idiots but couldn't bring himself to care. He couldn't bring himself to look away from her, not for a second. "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm better now," she answered honestly.

"And you'll be even better when we get you home," Daniel added as the eye contact between the command team of SG-1 lingered for a little too long. "You think Thor will give us a lift?"

#

They were scanned on arrival aboard Thor's ship, where the Asgard Commander was able to assure her teammates that Sam was no worse for wear from her experience, other than being notably tired. She waved off their concern, which Teal'c and Daniel accepted, both knowing that she'd had little in the way of solid rest since Jack had first downloaded the knowledge of the Ancients into his mind once more.

"Are you absolutely sure you're okay? Positive?" Jack asked, casting her a sidelong glance as he fell into step beside her. They were making their way from the medical bay to the bridge to join their teammates, following Jack's insistence that Thor check her out for any lingering side effects from her time with Fifth. "You still look a little pale."

"I'm tired, nothing more." Sam smiled at him reassuringly, unable to stop herself from darting glances at him. It didn't escape her notice that he kept looking at her, too. "How are you, Sir? Daniel said you spent some time in the mainframe."

"Oh, that." He shrugged dismissively. "It was fine. I wasn't in there for long."

"And what about the Ancient knowledge?" She checked. "Is it still there or…?"

Jack shrugged. "It's there and it's not there. A lot of it was downloaded into Thor's system but there's still some stuff hanging around the ole noggin. Thor did something, said it shouldn't be causing any more trouble."

"That's good to know." They continued to walk in step, both subconsciously slowing down the closer they got to the bridge and the others aboard the ship. "Sir."

"Carter." They stopped, facing one another. "You go first."

She smiled but suddenly had difficulty meeting his gaze. "I just wanted to say… I'm glad you're okay."

"As am I. About you, I mean. And me," he added. "Was that all?"

"Sir?"

"Carter."

They looked at one another again, each recalling their silent goodbye and the kiss they'd shared aboard Ronan's ship.

"I don't regret it," she said quietly, clasping her hands together in front of her to keep herself from reaching out for him. "Sir."

His grin was immediate. "Me either." He glanced over his shoulder to see if there was anyone else present. "Are we… Are we okay with this?" He asked, subconsciously repeating the words he'd said to her three years before.

Sam bit her lip. "I…" She looked away again. "I broke up with Pete," she blurted out. She cautiously returned her gaze to his when he said nothing, reassured by the soft look in his eyes. "I don't want to keep it in the room anymore," she admitted quietly, "but I don't see what else we can do."

"We'll figure something out," he promised. The grin came back, and he winked mischievously. "Though, technically, I'm still retired so…"

"Sam, Jack?" Daniel's voice came through the ship's intercom before she could respond. "Thor says we're approaching Earth."

Jack rolled his eyes as Sam sighed softly. "Drat," he muttered. She started to move again, to join their teammates, but he put his hand on her arm to stop her. "This isn't over, Sam. It's just to be continued, alright?"

"Yes, Sir." She smiled softly in acknowledgement and they continued towards the bridge.

#

Chapter Text

#

There was very little time to talk when they were beamed back down to the SGC. There were debriefings to be had, updates to be given… and then Doctor Weir dropped the bombshell that she was leaving, and Jack was being lined up as her replacement.

He spoke to his team about it, as he would about anything that affected them all. He caught the look on Sam's face as she added the 'within reason' caveat to Daniel's claim that if he was The Man, he could do anything he wanted.

He read the resignation on her face, the disappointment she thought she'd kept well hidden. Though he had no doubt she was pleased for him – he hoped maybe proud, even – he knew the direction her thoughts had taken mirrored his own when Elizabeth first mentioned it to him: it was one thing to bend the regulations when they were the command duo of a team, another entirely to do it if he was the CO of the whole command.

But he also hadn't been lying when he told Elizabeth he had a list of things he'd accept as a thank you for risking himself time and time again for the good of the planet. What he hadn't said – yet – was that that list really had only one thing on it: the chance to take his relationship with Samantha Carter to another level, without adversely impacting her career.

With that in mind, he knocked on the door of the office that might soon be his. "Doctor Weir?"

"Colonel." Elizabeth greeted him with a smile, putting the last of her belongings away. "Have you had time to consider the offer?"

"I have, and I have a question. I wasn't sure whether to speak to you or go directly to General Hammond as the new Head of Homeworld Security." He entered the office when she motioned for him to do so, closing the door behind him. It wasn't a conversation he wanted anyone to overhear.

"If it relates to that list you're talking about, General Hammond will no doubt need to approve it but I'm happy to be part of the conversation." She motioned to the seat opposite the empty desk. "Please, sit."

He did, feeling awkward. He felt too old to be feeling like the naughty schoolboy summoned to the principal's office but that was what it felt like. Even though he'd been the one to go to her, and he hadn't – as of yet – done anything wrong. Technically.

"I generally tend to find conversations like this go better if you actually speak aloud," Elizabeth teased lightly. "What's on your mind, Jack?"

"Carter," he said, instantly and honestly. To the departing leader's credit, she didn't let any surprise she felt show on her face. "I… Nothing's happened," he started, fixing his gaze on the empty cabinet behind her. "We haven't broken regs or anything like that."

"But…?" Elizabeth prompted when he fell silent. "I have to say I'm not surprised," she continued when he said nothing. "Major Carter was very insistent that we do something to save you. And I've read the mission reports, the notes from the investigation carried out by Mr Woolsey. Senator Kinsey has also made his thoughts on your relationship quite clear."

Jack grimaced, aware of the speculation that had been dodging himself and Sam for the majority of their working career together. "There's been nothing inappropriate," he repeated himself, deciding not to mention the two – three if time loops counted – kisses he'd shared with his Second in Command. "We have both abided by the regulations laid out by the Air Force but we – I," he corrected, wanting to take as much heat off Sam as possible, "don't want to do that anymore. This was another close call. Too close. You said it yourself, working here we all risk our lives over and over. It's time I asked for something in return. All I'm asking for a reason to keep doing it, something tangible to keep fighting for."

She was quiet for a long moment, studying him. Just as he was beginning to feel uncomfortable, a small smile arranged her lips. "I don't think that's too much to ask for, Colonel. Why don't you leave it with me? The President wanted me to let him know your answer; he didn't say I couldn't negotiate the terms, but it is kind of what I do."

"I'd appreciate that." And he did, more than he could put into words, so he hoped his grateful smile conveyed it enough. He started to rise from the chair when her voice stopped him.

"Am I to tell the President and Joint Chiefs you'll accept the role if your conditions are met?" Elizabeth asked him quietly.

"If they can agree to the terms, sure." He shrugged and continued to stand, making his way to the door. He hesitated, turned to look back at her. "If they say no, I'd like to be considered for retirement."

"I can tell you now they won't say yes to that," she told him solemnly. "Leave it with me, Jack. I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

Jack left the office and closed the door behind him. There was somewhere else he needed to be, another conversation that needed to be had.

#

Sam was trying to focus on the piece of alien technology that SG-5 had brought back with them, needing to finish a preliminary report on it before it was shipped to Area 51, but she couldn't concentrate. Teal'c and Daniel had left her to her musings after Jack had gone to speak to Doctor Weir, none of them certain of the decision their team leader had made.

Sam was pleased for him, absolutely. Although he'd said time and time again that he wasn't interested in climbing up the ranks any further than he had, he'd make a fantastic commander of the base – had already proved it, in fact, on several occasions by stepping in when General Hammond had been needed elsewhere. He wasn't your typical General material but he was a damn good CO and anyone – herself included – would be lucky to serve under his command.

He was, Sam knew, exactly what the SGC needed. He knew how it worked, knew what would be best for the people under his command. He valued each person, knew their value as an individual as well as the importance they contributed to the team. He wouldn't be a pushover, wouldn't suffer fools, but he'd be fair about it, and give those under his command the opportunity to grow and flourish in their own right.

Wasn't that what he'd done with her? She'd learnt so much for him as his Second; he'd allowed her to make mistakes along the way but had supported and guided her, encouraged her to reach her full potential and not be afraid of standing up for what she believed in.

She sighed softly; knowing all of that didn't make it any easier. It was one thing to know there were still feelings there, to be assured of it once more, but another altogether to once again have to put any thoughts of acting on those feelings on the backburner.

She thought about her relationship with Pete, her failed attempt at seeking out what she wanted to share with Jack with someone else. No one could compete with the idea of him and them together, she knew that now. It didn't make it any easier to know the someday she'd tried to stop herself from dreaming of was going to be further away than ever.

But she would wait; she'd resigned herself to that. She'd wait as long as she had to and hope that they both lived to see the day they could finally be together.

"Got a minute?" His voice made her smile, even as she felt her heart sink.

"Of course, Sir." Giving up on getting any work done, Sam set the device down and turned to him as he entered the lab. "Have you told Doctor Weir your decision?"

"Kind of." He shrugged and joined her at her workbench, claiming the stool nearest to her. "She's going back to the powers that be to let them know my terms."

"Your terms?"

"Mmmhmm." Jack looked at her for a moment, his expression soft. "I've said I'll take the job on one condition, and if they aren't prepared to meet that condition, I'd rather take retirement."

Her eyes widened in shock. "What? You'd retire? You can't do that, Sir, the SGC needs –"

"For seven years it's been about what the SGC and the Air Force, heck the whole planet, needs. I'm tired of it." He held her gaze, an eyebrow quirked. "I meant it, Sam. I'm as tired of keeping things locked up as you are. It's time to take it out of the room, one way or another."

Speechless, Sam could only stare at him. She blinked, half-convinced she was dreaming or back in a world of Fifth's making. If she was, she thought, the replicator certainly knew how to tempt her into staying. "You – I can't let you sacrifice your career for me," she said eventually. She turned away from him, staring blindly at the tools scattered over the surface of her workbench. "I mean it, Sir, the SGC needs you. There is no one else better qualified or more experienced to take over as base commander." She took a deep breath, willed back the emotion that threatened to spill over. "I'll wait," she said softly, glancing back at him shyly. "Now I know there's still something to wait for."

"Was there really any doubt?" He asked, keeping his voice just as quiet. "What happened to make you think…?"

"I just… I got it into my head I was holding out for something that wasn't going to happen. That you didn't want to happen," she corrected herself softly, breaking eye contact again. She thought about explaining her hallucinations aboard the Prometheus, about the self-doubts that had plagued her leading up to and following the experience. "I can't explain it. I just… I thought I was doing the right thing for both of us. If I moved on, you wouldn't feel bad that you don't feel the same way."

He was quiet for several long moments. Sam glanced at him out of the corner of her eye to see a troubled expression on his face, his brow furrowed. "I'm sorry," he said eventually, carefully, "if I ever gave you the impression you're alone in this. You are so not," he continued, catching her gaze and holding it. "I've never… resented you for wanting to get a life, Carter. All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy."

"And I will be," she answered with a smile that was tremulous at best. "One day."

"Soon," he promised. "One way or another."

"That's the second time you've said that," she noted. "What exactly was the condition you gave them for taking the job?"

He smirked, an eyebrow arching. "You really need me to answer that, Carter?"

"You mean you…" Her eyebrows shot up and, despite there being no one else in the lab, she lowered her voice. "You mentioned… us?"

"I said I was tired of risking my life over and over and not really having anything to risk it for. If they want me to keep at it, or at least keep sending others out to do it, they're gonna need to let me have a reason to live for." He moved subtly, pressing his arm against hers. She didn't pull away, taking comfort from the contact. It was the most he could make with the flashing red light on the security camera in the corner of her lab reminding them of where they were and the rules they'd both sworn to uphold. "I meant it, Sam. It's going to be okay."

She hoped so. With her whole heart and every piece of her being, she hoped so.

#

Chapter Text

#

"Conditional exception."

"Under ongoing review."

"Oversight by General Hammond."

The fragments of Elizabeth's speech to him kept playing over and over in his mind. He started to grin when the words sunk in, looking up from the folder she'd passed him when he realised she was waiting for him to respond.

"Well, Colonel? Or should that be General?" Elizabeth smiled, looking pleased with herself. "Are you happy to accept those terms?"

"Yes, Ma'am." He felt positively giddy, though hid it behind a grin and a small nod. "Do I want to ask how you got them to agree with this?"

Elizabeth shrugged. "It actually wasn't that difficult, Jack. They know you're the best man for the job, and President Hayes thinks very highly of you. General Hammond has assured him he has never had reason to doubt the professionalism of either yourself or Major Carter. They have, however, decided that though you will continue to be her commanding officer in matters related to the Stargate programme, decisions relating to her Air Force career, such as promotions, will be made by General Hammond in his role as Head of Homeworld Security."

Jack nodded. "That makes sense, though I hope you know I've never shown her any favouritism."

"I have no doubt, Jack. If I or anyone else did, they wouldn't have agreed to this." She gave him a reassuring smile and got to her feet. "You're expected in Washington DC this afternoon to receive your promotion. On your return tomorrow, we'll announce you will be taking over as the new Commanding Officer of the SGC."

"I'm going to DC?" He glanced at his watch. "Have I got time to…?"

"I'm sorry, Jack. You might need to call her from the plane. The President is on a tight schedule, and he wants to meet you." She held out her hand, smiling again when he took it. "Congratulations, Jack. The next time I see you, you'll be Brigadier General."

"Yeah. That's weird." But he shook her hand, grinning all the way.

#

Jack decided to keep the phone call brief; he told her he was on his way to Washington DC to catch up with General Hammond but that it was nothing for her to worry about.

So, naturally, all Sam did for almost twenty-four hours was worry.

She assumed he hadn't been summoned to Washington DC for a court-martial, reasoning that they hadn't done anything to be court-martialled for and, if they had, it would be both of them rather than just Jack. When he didn't call her again that evening, she experienced a moment of doubt and wondered if he'd been made an offer he couldn't turn down, even at the expense of whatever they were.

After dwelling on that thought for a while, and having treated herself to a glass of wine, Sam dismissed the fear as being silly. It was fears like that which had driven her into Pete's arms, and their doomed attempt at a relationship. Jack O'Neill wasn't one to change his mind when he wanted something, and for some reason, he'd decided he wanted her.

She just had to be patient, she had to wait, and she had to trust that whenever there was something she needed to know, Jack would tell her.

Hopefully sooner rather than later, she decided, as she settled in for the night.

The morning brought with it two messages on her phone; one from Walter to all base personnel informing them that there was going to be a ceremony in the Gateroom that afternoon and all officers were expected to wear their dress blues. The second was from Jack, telling her he'd see her soon and really, not to worry.

Never one – well, mostly – to not follow orders, Sam took her dress blues with her to the SGC and changed into them in time to join Daniel and Teal'c in the Gateroom. She still hadn't seen Jack or heard anything further from him. Her teammates had told her that morning over breakfast in the commissary that they hadn't heard from him, either, but the grins they were sporting when she joined them at the base of the ramp made her suspicious that had changed.

She didn't get a chance to question them as Doctor Weir entered the Gateroom. She watched as the dark-haired woman walked along the ceremonial red carpet on the ramp to stand behind the podium. There was still no sign of Jack, and the doors to the room closed before she started her speech.

"Although my time here has been brief, it has been, without a doubt, indelible. I will remember every one of you, and I thank you all for your hard work." Sincerity ran true in her words, and Sam felt a moment of regret that the other woman wouldn't be remaining at the SGC. She thought that, in another time, she and Elizabeth could be friends. "I'm not one for long goodbyes, so without further ado, it's with great pleasure that I introduce you to your new Commanding Officer, Brigadier General Jack O'Neill."

The blast doors opened but Sam didn't hear them above the pounding in her ears. She was aware of her colleagues parting to make way for him, and years of serving in the Air Force had ingrained in her to stand at attention with them as the newly promoted General made his way to the ramp. He gave his team a grin and sent a wink in her direction as he made his way past and took Weir's place at the podium.

"At ease. You all know how much I love speeches, so, I'll make this short," he said with a self-deprecating grin. "I wish I could say I didn't owe anything to anyone. But the truth is, I wouldn't be standing here if it wasn't for the courage and support of each and every one of you. I hope I can be as good a leader as we've had in the past and as good as you deserve."

"Here, here," Daniel called, prompting those gathered in the gateroom to applaud.

"The other reason I took this job was so I could do really cool stuff like this." He glanced at his team, at Sam in particular, and she felt a frisson of something akin to nerves. "It is with great pride that my first order of business as Commander of this base is the announcement of the promotion of Major Samantha Carter to Lieutenant Colonel."

A promotion was not what she'd expected. She glanced at Daniel and Teal'c, both of whom gave her knowing grins. Her theory that they'd had some kind of conversation with Jack since breakfast was confirmed in an instant. Turning her attention to Jack, she noticed him raise an eyebrow and tilted his head.

"Come on," he encouraged, gesturing her to join him at the podium.

With another bewildered smile at Daniel and Teal'c, she did as ordered and stood to face him.

"The President of the United States has placed special trust and confidence in the patriotism, integrity and abilities of Major Samantha Carter," Walter announced. "Major Samantha Carter is promoted to the grade of Lieutenant Colonel, United States Air Force."

As he spoke, Jack removed the Major insignias from her epaulettes. Sam couldn't stop smiling, though she felt as though she was watching the ceremony from afar, unable to believe it was actually happening. She found herself watching Jack as he replaced the insignias with that of a Lieutenant Colonel, and felt herself grow warm at the proud expression on his face.

The world shrank to just the two of them for a moment, a little bubble where only they existed.

As he saluted her and she returned it, the occupants of the gateroom began to applaud, reality intruding on the moment. The small grin on his face didn't falter but felt too intimate for the public ceremony.

"Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter," he said, his gaze locked on hers. "Now, raise your right hand and repeat after me. I, insert name…"

Grinning back, unable to do anything else, Sam raised her hand. "I, Samantha Carter…"

#

The celebration of their promotions was relocated to the commissary, where non-alcoholic beverages were passed around along with copious amounts of cake. As guests of honour, both Sam and Jack were expected to attend and mingle with the numerous well-wishers who wanted to pass on their congratulations in person.

It was nice to be recognised, nice to be appreciated, but he was desperate to take Sam to one side and tell her what else had come out of his trip to Washington.

Her promotion hadn't been his doing, though he'd fully supported the idea when it had been proposed by General Hammond. They'd discussed the future of SG-1 at length and there was no one else either of them could imagine taking on the leader role the flagship team. There were other SG-units led by Majors and even a few by Captains, but as the flagship team, it was felt the position should be held by someone with at least the rank of Lieutenant Colonel. Hammond had been prepared to fight for the promotion had it been denied, but the President and Joint Chiefs had been onboard. In President Hayes own words, it was well deserved.

It had been one of the many things discussed at the meeting that started off being awkward, but Jack felt ended being quite productively. He'd gone into it knowing they'd already approved his request, so hadn't been as nervous as he could have been. He'd come out of the meeting a rank higher, and with the news that the SGC regulation manual was under review. It would pave the way for a number of would-be couples to begin relationships, and address the issue of a work-life balance amongst the base personnel. Not all of them were on the same team, so it wasn't exactly against regulations for them to be together, but the issue was largely related to the differences in rank.

The meeting had gone a long way towards easing his worries where President Hayes was concerned, too. The man was thankfully nothing like Senator Kinsey, and had made that abundantly clear. The President had been genuinely interested in the Stargate programme, and had listened to what Jack had to say instead of letting himself be influenced by others with less favourable views of the SGC.

It hadn't occurred to him until he was on his way back to Colorado Springs that he still hadn't told Sam they'd been given the all-clear to be together, and that was why he was counting down the minutes and seconds until he could make his excuses and leave the celebration shindig, take her to one side and let her know. He kept an eye on the clock, making sure to give his people – and they were his people now – a chance to let their hair down before ordering them back to work. He was pleased that they started making their own way back to their posts as the first hour ticked into the second, and was content to let the well-wishers drift away of their own accord, confident they'd snap into action if it was needed.

Seeing his opportunity, he made his way through the dwindling crowd to where SG-1 was standing, Teal'c and Daniel flanking Sam as they hovered on the outskirts of the celebration. He hid a grin when Daniel shifted on sight, moving subtly to make space for him at Sam's side.

"Quite a party, huh?" He greeted them cheerily.

"There's a lot of cake," Daniel commented. "I guess that's your doing."

Jack grinned and nodded. "Cake every Tuesday, pie every Friday. It's a new rule." He noticed Sam trying not to look at him and nudged her. "Don't worry, Carter, the blue jello's going nowhere."

"That's good to know, Sir," she managed, a hesitant smile on her lips. "Sir, could I have a moment of your time when you're free?"

"You can have as much time as you want, Carter," he told her honestly. "My office door is always open. Except when it's closed. But you can come in regardless."

Her lips twitched with a smile as he'd intended, and Jack allowed a small, pleased smirk in response.

He had to do the rounds once more before he could make his excuses and leave, aware of Sam making her own excuses as he made his way out of the doors. He made it to the office - his office - a few minutes before she did, holding the door open for her and closing it behind her.

"Take a seat," he invited, watching her out of the corner of his eye as he rounded the desk and took his own.

She twisted her hands in her lap after doing so, tilting her head. "Is it a bad sign I need to be sitting down for this conversation?"

"I don't think it's bad but you might if you've changed your mind." He quirked an eyebrow, trying to make a joke of it but ended up holding his breath.

"Changed my...?" Her eyes grew wider. "You mean...?"

"Conditional discharge of the frat regs," he told her seriously.

She bit her lip. "What are the conditions?"

"You report to me but Hammond oversees any decisions related to promotion or assignment, we're to submit to an annual review to make sure we're maintaining professional boundaries, and I get my decisions related to SG1 and the facility as a whole audited on a quarterly basis."

She nodded along to most of it, frowning at the last. "You shouldn't need to be audited," she protested. "If they doubted your ability to do the job, they wouldn't have insisted on you taking it."

"It's a formality, Sam, one they have to be seen to doing if we're going to get around Kinsey and his ilk. I don't mind," he added, seeing how offended she was on his behalf.

"Okay," she conceded, the beginnings of a smile causing her lips to twitch. "So."

"So." Jack quirked an eyebrow. He'd told himself on the plane home he'd allow her to set the pace, that he'd be happy to follow her lead wherever their relationship took them.

"We're doing this." The smile broke free, a little shy, full of wonder. Her eyes sparkled in a way he couldn't remember seeing in a long time and he felt warm relief spread through him.

"We are." He watched her cheeks flush, a delicate pink he wasn't used to seeing on her but vowed he'd do whatever he could to see it more often. "Starting with dinner tonight. My place?"

"It's a date," she confirmed, getting up from her chair. She lingered for a moment more, the look in her eyes telling him everything she couldn't say with words. As much as he'd have liked to kiss her, the blinking red light of the camera in the corner of his office reminded him why he couldn't.

At least not on base.

His house that evening, though, was another matter entirely and the thought of that made him grin back at her.

"See you at seven, Sam."

"I'll bring the cake, Jack."

#

End, or is it?