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It’s cold and quiet, and he is alone.
This is right, isn’t it? He’s supposed to be alone. He deserves it. He chose it, chose to lock himself away after…? What? He kneels on the cold, hard floor and searches his memories, but in contrast to the quiet room, his head is so loud.
Sometimes, he thinks that he can make out voices, or names, and he concentrates. He reaches across the table for a hand, small and pale and bloody, and it is always just… out… of reach…
Xichen wakes suddenly, blinking in bright, disorienting sunlight.
Alone.
His breath comes in shallow gasps as he fights for clarity.
“Hey, Xichen? Are you-- Hey! What’s the matter? What’s wrong?”
A warm, solid presence settles near Xichen’s feet.
“Mingjue?”
Strong, warm hands grasp his hands, and Mingjue helps Xichen sit up.
“Are you alright?” Mingjue asks. “I thought you were going to read?”
Xichen blinks again. He’s in a warm, light-filled room -- his studio. A book tumbles off his lap and onto the floor.
“Xichen?”
“Yes, love?” Xichen smiles before he realizes he’s doing it.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He keeps smiling, because that’s what you do, right? Smile in the face of every horror, smile-- “I think I had a bad dream,” he says, smile vanishing, voice dropping low.
“Oh, babe.” Mingjue manhandles Xichen until he’s tucked up in Mingjue’s embrace, sitting on his lap, against his solid chest, with his heart beating strong and sure.
Xichen draws a shuddering breath and tries to keep a smile on his face. “It’s okay,” he says. “I’m okay.”
“I know,” Mingjue responds. He tightens his hold on Xichen.
“Hey, Mingjue, did you find him?” Jiang Cheng comes up the stairs and pokes his head through the doorway. “Does he want to go out for dinner, or-- oh.” He looks from Xichen to Mingjue.
“Nightmare,” Mingjue says.
“Ah, shit.” Jiang Cheng crosses into the studio and flops gracelessly onto the couch, resting his head on Xichen’s lap. “The one about your brother?”
Xichen combs his fingers through Jiang Cheng’s hair. “The empty room.”
Jiang Cheng murmurs sympathetically and rubs his cheek against Xichen’s thigh. “So ordering in tonight.”
“No, we can go out--” Xichen begins, but Mingjue stops him with a kiss.
“Nothing with garlic,” he tells Jiang Cheng.
Xichen’s cheeks heat, and he’s certain he’s blushing, but he is also warmed through with affection for his loves. He’s the most tactile of the trio, but the empty room dreams always leave him particularly clingy and in need of the comfort of their touch.
“I like those garlic prawns, though,” Xichen says.
“Fine,” Mingjue sighs, “but do not complain to me when you have heartburn in the middle of the night.”
“You can wake me up,” Jiang Cheng says, wiggling to retrieve his phone from his back pocket, “and then I’ll wake him up to whine about you waking me up. Perfect system is perfect!”
Mingjue reaches over to poke Jiang Cheng in the belly. “You, my heart, are a menace.”
“Yup!” He taps at his phone screen and opens the delivery app. “Okay, garlic prawns, beef and broccoli, that weird chicken…” Jiang Cheng trails off as he fills out their order.
Xichen closes his eyes and leans into Mingjue’s embrace as his loves bicker good-naturedly over the order. He relishes the anticipation that is building for their night ahead, and he knows -- he is not alone. He is not alone. He is not alone.