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Bojack pulled a sweatshirt over his torso and groaned lightly as he stretched out the stiffness in his joints he’d gained in the night. Mornings weren’t exactly his forte, he was more of a night owl. But Herb had already been up for an hour and was almost finished with his morning routine. Bojack could hear him a couple of feet away in the bathroom.
He smoothed out his shirt and turned his head to call through the open doorway.
“You have a meeting with some writing team this morning right?”
The garbled sounds of a man in the middle of brushing his teeth came from the bathroom but Boajck’s pretty sure it was a yes. He picked up his brush and lazily dragged it through his hair not bothering to look in a mirror while he did it. Why did it matter, he wasn’t doing anything important today. Or ever, really. He’d wrapped on a dumb little commercial for Quiznos last week, and now he found himself back in the terribly empty limbo of being jobless. Herb had another meeting for a writing position. This one for some new drama about a teen detective. And Boajck was happy for him, he really was. But being alone in the house most of the time was beginning to be a drag.
If they hadn’t been outed by some piece of shit and his point and shoot, which is what Princess Carolyn called him, Bojack would’ve been working in movies right now. Probably blockbusters . Or another critically acclaimed tv show. Or maybe he would’ve been back on the stage this time. He could be winning a Tony right now but instead, he’s waking up at 10, putting on sweats, and wandering around the house all day looking for a purpose while he waits for measly little offers to trickle down to him.
...Why did his head hurt?
He frowned as he realized that he’d been brushing his hair far too hard for the past minute or so and put it back down quickly. He took a few deep breaths and sighed, running a hand through his mane and rubbing at his irritated scalp with a wince. He could see Herb leave the bathroom out of the corner of his eye and grab his cologne from the nightstand.
Bojack cleared his throat, trying to act nonchalant.
“So hey, do you want to meet down at Alma’s for lunch after your thing?”
Herb didn’t respond right away, so Boajck turned to him. Hoping he didn’t catch him hurting himself.
Herb was just looking at him, an unreadable expression on his face as his eyes scanned the area around the top of Bojack’s head.
It didn’t take long for it to get to the horse, he squirmed under the other man’s scrutiny.
“What?”
Herb screwed up his face and cocked his head to the side. “Do that again.”
Bojack cocked his head right back at him, confused.
The other man mimed with his hand, “Run your hand through your mane again.”
He did, and Herb’s expression only deepened.
Bojack huffed. “ What ?”
Herb put down his cologne and waved the horse over to him. “Come here.”
Bojack did as he was instructed and stepped in front of him. He already knew he was going to have to lean down for whatever Herb was doing, since he was a good foot taller than his husband, but he waited until the smaller man cupped a hand to his face and lead him down to his eye level.
Bojack watched Herb’s face closely as he ran a hand through his mane, still in the dark about what was so interesting about him that morning. Suddenly Herb’s eyes widened, and he let out a little, “Huh.”
“Huh?” Bojack echoed him.
Herb made a face somewhere between surprise, and understanding.
“Yep, uh, yeah that’s it alright.”
Bojack lightly shook Herb’s hands off his face, his patience growing thin. “What is? What, do I have lice or something?”
“No,” Herb said, suddenly looking a little more apprehensive than he did a moment ago, now that he had to tell Bojack the truth about what he just saw. “It’s just ah… Don’t freak out because I know how you get. But..” He reached to rub at the back of his neck. “Your hair’s gray Hun.”
There was a beat as the news slowly sunk into Boajck’s brain. Right past his gray, gray roots. Then he jumped like he’d just received an electric shock.
“ What!? ”
He rushed past Herb into the bathroom and the other man stayed well out of his way.
“Yeah, it’s like, a good inch of solid gray hidden under there.”
He waited for a second in silence before he heard the dramatic “NO!” ring through the house.
“I can’t believe I’m going gray!” The horse moaned sadly.
Herb couldn’t help but chuckle as he waved his hands in the air, “Oh no no no, Baby. That’s not going gray, that is gray.”
“ Stop .” Bojack pouted, emerging from the bathroom and looking thoroughly shaken. “My hair can’t be gray, I’m only 40!”
“40 seems like a normal time to start graying Bojack.” Herb offered, sympathy written across his face like a billboard.
The horse started pacing the bedroom, arms crossed, and starting to freak out a little. “No, it’s not. It’s not- I’m not gray.”
“Did you not just see it yourself in the mirror?” Herb smirked at him, not above a little teasing, “Or are your eyes starting to go now too?”
“Why are you not helping?” Bojack snapped at him.
“What do you want me to do?” He asked, throwing his hands in the air. “Listen, I get it! Remember back on Horsin Around when my hair started to go right when we started season three? I couldn’t do anything about it really, so it’s best just to accept it.”
“Yeah, maybe for you .” Bojack snorts, “But I can dye my hair. And you know what?” He puts his hands on his hips, looking determined. “I am going to go downstairs, get my keys- Wait no.” He thought for a second. “I’m going to go downstairs, put on a hoodie , and get my keys, and go into the first drug store I can find, and buy all their stock of black hair dye so I never have to confront this again.”
Herb shook his head and sighed. “You’re overreacting, it’s really not that big a deal BJ.”
Bojack groaned in frustration, “It is a big deal for me. I’m an actor my whole career is based on my appearance.”
Herb frowned. “Well, not your whole career. Some of it has to do with acting skills, right?” He offered.
Bojack crossed his arms and sneered, looking away. “Don’t be naive Herb. I mean, think about it, why did you give me the starring role in your show back in 86’? It was because you were thinking with your dick and not your brain.”
Herb didn’t respond and Boajck turned back around to see the other man had crossed his arms as well, and fixed him with a searing glare to boot.
Bojack winced and wilted, guilt now snuffing out his frustration. “I… I’m sorry.”
Herb rolled his eyes and patted the spot on the bed next to him. Bojack dropped down onto it with a deep sigh.
“Dyeing it is the easiest solution.”
Herb frowned. “But what I’m saying is you don’t have to do anything to it at all. Especially not to please other people.”
Bojack snorted softly, “Why do you care so much about leaving it alone?”
Herb thought for a second. “Maybe I just don’t like the idea that instead of accepting this new thing about yourself,” He started slowly, “You feel the need to hide it and cover it up just because you’re afraid of how it will affect your career, and other people’s perception of you.”
“...Oh.” Bojack turned his eyes to the floor, a little embarrassed by his obtuseness.
Herb shrugged. “Or maybe it’s not that deep, I don’t know.” He put a hand on his back, “But seeing you freak out like this over a little gray hair isn’t fun either.”
Bojack reached up to touch his bangs almost as if he might be able to feel the difference between the original black color, and the new gray leeching into his hair.
Herb leaned over and rested his head on the horse’s shoulder. “What do you think about it? Just you.” He asked quietly.
“It makes me feel old,” Bojack responded just as quietly. “Like I’m past my prime. Makes me think of my dad. He went gray way earlier than 40 though. But he also started to lose his hair too-” He sat up quickly, “Oh shit do you think I’m gonna go bald too?”
Herb opened his mouth, ready to remind his husband that if anyone in this house was going to go bald it was probably him, but he decided against it. One issue at a time, he thought.
“Don’t worry about that now. But consider this, you’re trying to break into more dramatic roles right?”
Bojack nodded.
“Well, I think once people see this new mature look. You’ll definitely start to get more offers like that.” He smiled up at the horse.
Boajck brightened up a little. “Oh… Oh! I didn’t even think about that.”
“And besides, I bet when it grows out more it’ll look really good.”
A smile started to tug at the corners of Boajck’s mouth. “You think so?”
“Yeah! You’ll have a whole Silver Stallion thing going on.” He said, reaching up to run his hands through his mane again. Grinning at the way the gray and the black mingled when it was mussed up.
“Silver Stallion huh?” Bojack hummed, wrapping an arm around Herb’s waist and pulling him closer.
“You know what they say,” Herb purred, moving to press his hands against Bojack’s chest. “Everything’s better with little salt and pepper.”
Bojack laughed. “Who says that?”
Herb cocked his head at the question, still grinning, like it was the most obvious answer in the world.
“Me, just now.”
The horse threw back his head and laughed again, before leaning down and planting a kiss on the other man’s lips.