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Nothing. There was nothing. Trafalgar Law had failed. He had failed as a doctor, he had failed as a surgeon, he had failed as an ally, he had failed as a…nakama. When he had begged with them to let him operate on Straw Hat, he knew that there was no chance for the operation to actually end with him coming back to life and opening his eyes and yet he was not prepared to deal with the consistent flat line of his heart beat on the monitors around him. Straw Hat was always too stubborn for his own good.
Still, he had hoped that somehow, someway it would work. That Straw Hat just needed a nudge and he’d make the impossible once more, like he had seen him do so many times before. But no. This was really happening. Staw Hat was really dead.
“All the medical skills in the world are not enough to wake the dead, boy”, Smoker grumbled behind him and Law would swear the he sounded just as disappointed, as Law felt. He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath.
“Thank you”, he said in a voice that sounded deadened even to him.
“You…” Smoker growled, but seemed to realize that it wasn’t an insult or a veiled attempt at sarcasm and stared at his back for a few long moments. “There was nothing you could do. Straw Hat is dead. You can’t bring back the dead”.
Law inclined his head to show that he agreed, never taking his eyes off the lifeless form of the Straw Hat captain, lying on the bed in front of him, still covered in blood and grime from the fight against Kaido and the Beast pirates, his chest littered in numerous bruises and cuts and his ribcage still shattered in splinters. Law wasn’t certain if it had been the shattered ribs puncturing his lugs that had killed him or if his heart had stopped right on the spot and since his Haki had kept him standing and fighting long after his actual death had occurred, it wasn’t possible to pinpoint the exact cause of death, even if looking back he could tell the moment it had happened; yes, he was certain now that it had been Kaido’s last devastating blow that had knocked the Straw Hatted captain down and truly even back then he had known for a moment that no one could have survived that, but Straw Hat had gotten back up and had taken Kaido on yet again, finally succeeding in defeating him. Of course, the stubborn bastard was too stupid to realize he had died. How could they have known? But then they knew about Haki and Law himself had been in the same battlefield where Whitebeard had stood, giving his last orders and taking on Blackbeard, all with a hole in his chest and a blown up skull. Still, even now the concept that someone could just will himself to stay alive, when their heart had stopped beating, went against everything Law knew about medicine and human anatomy and yet here Straw Hat laid the very much not alive proof of willpower.
“You know I won’t let you go, Trafalgar”, Smoker breathed through his cigar, breaking Law out of his musings. He inclined his head yet again.
“It was my choice to board your ship”, he said, his voice still dull and apathetic. “Could you give me a few minutes?” he asked then and if Smoker was surprised that he needed a few moments with his dead ally, he didn’t express his feelings. He simply grunted his consent and left the infirmary, along with the rest of the Marine soldiers that were guarding the door.
When the door shut behind them, Law let out a breath, his shoulders sagging ever so slightly and approached his friend’s body on the bed. Friend. Funny how it had taken him dying for Law to actually be able to admit to himself that Straw Hat was more than an ally to him.
Ally. Friend. Comrade. Nakama. Light. Hope.
The words were going through his head, without conscious thought and he couldn’t decide which one he preferred the most, because he felt they were all true. Straw Hat…Luffy…had saved him. Not only by taking down Don Flamingo and finally allowing him his moment of revenge, but also simply by showing him that there was still something other than pain and despair and unfairness in the world. He guessed it was like that for all who came to know him. He still couldn’t shake the reactions of his crew out of his head, the denial and despair.
He took another breath and as he took Straw Hat’s cold hand, he realized that his was shaking. Huh. He hadn’t expected this to affect him as much. He had tried operating on him, because he just had to try, but he knew all along that he would fail and yet there he was wishing beyond anything that it had worked. That he wouldn’t have to do, what he knew all along that he’d have to do, what had occurred to him the very next second of realizing that his ally had died. And yet there he was wishing the operation had worked, because after everything, Straw Hat had succeeded in instilling new hope inside of him.
He closed his eyes for a moment, recalling his crew’s faces and the faces of the Straw Hat pirates that he had come to consider as an extension of his own crew. They could have sailed under Straw Hat’s flag, after he became the Pirate King and even if he would have never admitted it to anyone, he would have been happy with that. His crew would have wanted that as well. Would they begrudge him his choice? But it wasn’t really a choice, was it? When he had formulated the plan for taking out a Yonko, he never had expected surviving the take down of Doflamingo, much less Kaido. He should have died time and time again and he would have if it hadn’t been for Luffy. He probably wouldn’t have cared either, if it hadn’t been for Straw Hat. He had been there though and now Law actually found himself actively wanting to live. And yet he had already chosen not to.
He squared his shoulders and grasped the cold hand of his ally tightly. He knew he didn’t have much time before Smoker came looking for him, but he didn’t know exactly how this was supposed to work. It wasn’t like he had tried this ever before. He placed his free hand on his chest; his heart was flattering like a caged bird. He pressed his lips together and willing his power to the forefront of his mind, called the words he had once told Doflamingo he’d never use.
He felt a tug on his heart immediately and it was somewhat like switching hearts, only he could feel it cutting deeper, the power of the Ope Ope no Mi running through his veins, not saving him this time, but draining his life, taking its price for granting Luffy eternal life.