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“…”
“…”
“…Oh.”
“I, It’s not what it looks like—! I’m just, I’m just—! Urgh, it’s just not what it looks like, okay?!”
“Oh, so it’s not you singing and dancing along with the extended 6:07 dance remix version of Voulez-Vous?”
“…That’s exactly what I was doing, what the hell.”
“Fufufu, is that so? It did look an awful lot like a tiny little doggie trying to wiggle around, hmm?”
“You claim to be a genius and yet you can’t even remember simple shit like how I’m definitely going to kick your ass if you keep on calling me a dog, huh?”
“Mm, I would remember such protests if I could understand them! But all I hear are the pitiful barks of a tiny little dog~”
“Then you should spend more time cleaning your ears, because it’s full of shit!”
“Now, now, you’re trying to divert our topic. Why is widdle Chuu-Chuu dancing around, hmm? Did something good happen?”
“Can’t I just enjoy good music…? Actually no, don’t answer that, you seem like the soulless bastard who wouldn’t understand what good music is.”
“Now, now, your musical selection is pretty much made up of noisy beats, so to be considered incompatible with your music tastes… it’s high praise, ne?”
“I’d rather eat a live octopus than praise you, shitty mackerel.”
“Mm, speaking of eating, when are you planning on treating me to some nice desserts?”
“Uh, never? Not even when hell freezes over?”
“Oh, I see how it is. Widdle Chuu-Chuu is trying to ingratiate himself with the top brass so you’re fine with taking out Elise-chan in snack dates, but when it comes to me, you’re suddenly so stingy? I, too, deserve to be treated to pistachio macaroons and strawberry shortcakes!”
“…How do you even—?! Urghhhh. If you have time to stalk me, why haven’t you submitted the reports regarding the Kagerou Mission?!”
“Me, your very wonderful partner who’s definitely worth at least ten pages of kind words and ten trips to that new five-star restaurant!”
“I don’t know about a five-star restaurant, but I’m more than happy to give you a permanent trip to hell.”
“…Eh, I’ll have to pass on that. Each day I see Chuuya’s hair is a day I spend in hell.”
“Fuck you, why the fuck are you insulting my hair!”
“Ne, aren’t you afraid you’re shedding everywhere, just like a dog?”
“Shut your filthy mouth, I’m not shedding, damn it!”
“Then what is that…? Right there on your shoulder…?”
“Huh? What the hell are you talking about?!”
“See, right there, it looks just like fallen chunks of hair…”
“HA?! You’re kidding right?!”
“Yup, I’m joking.”
“YOU—!!!”
“Now, now, Chuuya, you should be less vain, okay? Worrying too much about your looks is just going to make you shrink even further~”
“Leave my height out of this!”
“Say, was that why you’ve been wriggling like a worm earlier? In hopes of becoming taller?”
“Each and every time you just insult my height, I’m still growing, damn it!”
“How could I not notice it, when every time you look at me, you stare at me so passionately?”
“…Blergh.”
“Mm, it’s disgusting, I agree.”
“YOU are disgusting! Passion?! What the hell!”
“Aren’t you passionately jealous about my height?”
“The only thing I’d ever be jealous of you is the fact that you can be so oblivious to the stream of bullshit pouring out of your trap. While everyone else has to suffer through listening to you.”
“Now, now, since you’re my partner, shouldn’t you be the one who gets to hear my voice the most? It’s an honor that you should treasure, you know?”
“Pfft, there’s that recycling drive about how there’s wealth in trash, but it definitely doesn’t apply to you, shithead.”
“No? My time is more valuable than a mermaid’s tears, you know?”
“Huh? Do they even exist…?”
“If there could be things such as Arahabaki, as well as tiny, tiny dogs that could talk, then there should be things such as mermaids, you know?
“Yeah, if they ever exist, they’re really just going to cry from the loads of crap you spew.”
“Mm, you always say such mean words, but I know just how much you love being able to talk with me.”
“HAHAHAHA—no.”
“Eh, Chuuya, you’re really the meanest chibikko and you definitely aren’t going to grow tall if you’re always so dishonest!”
“Again, why the hell is my height getting dragged into this?!”
“Because you keep on evading my original question.”
“And that’s…?”
“Why you were dancing earlier!”
“But I already answered that…? Have you gone deaf and senile already, idiot?”
“Mm, I think I know what’s going on.”
“Whatever it is, you’re definitely wrong.”
“I think Chuuya’s eaten so much strawberry shortcakes with Elise-chan that you’ve grown belly rolls. So you’re trying to exercise them away!”
“HOW FUCKING DARE YOU.”
“Mm, that’s why you wear so much layers, ne? You’re trying to hide—ow.”
“—see that?! What belly rolls are you talking about, it’s pure muscle!”
“…ah, I’ve seen such an ugly sight, I truly cannot recover.”
“Huh? Oi—why the hell are you—stop touching—!”
“I’m trying to hold on to my last ounce of strength, I’ve been blinded by the sight of a chibi’s abs…”
“Stop holding on to me then?! Aaah, get off—!”
“Nope, no can do, no can do.”
“For someone who’s supposedly at the last ounce of strength, you’re clinging pretty damn tightly!”
“Eh, I think my hands got stuck at your belt loops. I’ll have to stay like this, then~”
“You can use fifty hand tricks to get out of handcuffs and chains, and you’re claiming you can’t let go of—damn it, stop tickling me—!!!”
“Nope, too late, too late, you’ll just have to dance more so you can get me off.”
“I HATE YOU SO MUCH, I’M LOCKING MY DOORS FIVE TIMES AFTER THIS.”
(Dazai-san still snuck in to his room after that anyway.)
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