Work Text:
Floating
Emptiness
Void
How he ended up here, he doesn’t know. He’s been here before. The Void. The all consuming darkness, completely and utterly alone. The brain fog and numbness that comes with the void has long overtaken his system. He knows fighting it is useless, but a little piece of him in the very back of his mind wants to resist. He knows he needs to hold onto that if he ever wants to get out again, but another part just wants to let go. To let the void consume him, to let the darkness seep into every inner part of his being.
The last time he was here, he’d been so resistant to the void and in the end he’d fought his way right out of the void. But this time felt different. This time he didn't have anything to fight for. Last time, he’d felt like he had unfinished business, he’d wanted to do so many things. And so he’d fought his way out, made a way into a new world, and eventually found his way back to Hermitcraft, to his brother, to fulfill his final task.
But now… what did he have to fight for. His brother had banished him again, but this time with hurtful parting words. The only thing that kept him from getting lost in the void, was now gone and had left a searing pain in his heart. He didn't want to feel it anymore, and he submitted it to the void.
Now he was just a shell, consumed by the void almost entirely. The only part left of him screaming to keep living, but the void had begun wearing down on that too. Why would he want to keep living? He knew he was too far gone to fight his way out of this one, so why did he still want to hold on. What was holding him back? The image of Worm Man flashed through him. His only friend. What would Worm Man think if he gave up? Did he even think of him? Surely he did? Right? But Ex wasn’t Worm Man’s only friend… no Zedaph had other friends.
No one would miss him, right? No one had come to save him from the Void either times he’d been here. But did they even know he was in the void? If X knew that he was in the Void, he’d save him right? But no one can save you from a danger they don’t know you’re in.
Sadness went like a wave through the last of his conscious mind. He was stuck here, too far gone to save himself, and no one to save him. He should just give in. Release his soul to the Void and cease to exist. But he couldn't bring himself to do it just yet. He couldn't figure out why, but he forced himself not to give in just yet.
Had it been weeks? Months? Years even? Why couldn’t he just let go? Why was he still stuck here? Why did his suffering need to continue? The sting of X’s “I hate you.” returning to him once again. He could feel a tear beginning to form in his eye. Wait. He could feel! But what he could feel only hurt him. His throat began to sting as sadness began to bubble inside him.
He could hear something. He couldn’t tell just what though. He hadn’t heard anything in the void before… slowly he realized it was his own sobs. Cries of agony and pure sadness were coming out of his mouth. He could feel his arms wrapping around his knees. Feeling and pain filled his body as it connected to his brain again. His muscles were sore and weak from being eaten by the Void for too long. His lungs seized up as his sobs turned into an uncontrollable cough. Gasping at the thin void air only caused him to cough more.
More and more of his body and mind came back to him, as the feelings he had originally submitted to the void came back to him. Feelings of betrayal and shock at X’s words and the fear that filled him as he could see him pull up his admin screens. “no , no please don’t, not again.” he could hear himself begging his brother, begging the Void, begging himself. Deep heartache filled him as he re-lived this moment again.
“Please, please don’t.” he was babbling, he couldn’t stop himself as the tears that had slowed started right up again. Another powerful sob racked through him. His chest tightening as he felt as though the Void was beginning to crush him. But the Void was warm, the Void wasn’t supposed to be warm. It felt kind of nice, he leaned into the warmth and it began spreading through him. He began to hear a soft sort of noise above his sobs. He couldn't make out what it was but he began to focus on it.
The noise coaxed him to take deep breaths and he did his best to follow it’s instructions. More warmth filled him as he could feel something moving over his arms, over his back. The noise continued to make its way to his ears, and the more he listened to it the more it sounded like a voice. He still couldn’t make out what it was saying. He began to see lights beyond his eyelids, and forcing them open finally, he was met with the sight of his brother.
“Oh, thank the dragon!”
And suddenly Ex was wrapped up in a hug, a mess of limbs tangled together and holding on tight.
“What?” Ex’s voice came out raspy and sore from crying.
“Dude, I think you just had a panic attack.”