Work Text:
Jaskier sat in the cold, desolate cell, beaten and bloodied and half gone. He had been captured by Nilfgaard in one of his heart broken, drunk stupers and ever since dragged through hell, they had tried to rip his mind open, tear it apart, but his magic prevented the mage assigned to ruin him to gain access to any of his memories --and barely any of his thoughts in general-- that may endanger Geralt. When that didn’t work they had taken to different tactics, a deep scar across his back, hand bruises on his neck, his fingers cut with bones broken along with too many other wounds to count, covered in his own blood. He was leaning against the wall panting, closer to death than he ever had been when he heard the guards approaching.
“Look at the little songbird, trapped and mute, unable to escape.” He said, his voice condescending and mocking. Jaskier rolled his eyes but didn’t speak. He found it wasn’t worth it. By sheer luck -- for them-- they had put Jaskier in partly iron shackles, weakening him significantly. “Nothing to say?” Jaskier didn’t react. The guard didn’t seem like this, hitting hard and knocking him over.
“You know… This could aaaall end if you just told us where the Witcher is” the guard said crouching down in front of Jaskier. The bard simply spat blood in his face before saying “Probably fucking your mother.” not his best line but, well, cold you really blame him? The guard growled before pulling Jaskier by his hair and throwing him against a wall. He started to stalk towards Jaskier as he lost consciousness, his last thoughts quite simple.
At least he had granted Geralt his blessing.
The last thing he felt was a punch to the stomach and the last thing he heard was the squelch of a sword through a throat.
___
Geralt was carrying Jaskier, desperately trying to wake him up, while not jostling him too much, he made it to where Yennefer was, disposing the last of the guards before opening a portal, Geralt took a deep breath and ran through it, practically sprinting towards Triss to save hi- the bard… He has lost the privilege of calling him his years ago.
They quickly set Jaskier down on the table and Triss got to healing him slowly. Geralt was a mess, had been a mess ever since the mountain. At first he had thought it was because of Yennefer but after finding her, after missing the noise, after growing to despise the silence. He knew he had missed,
needed,
Jaskier. He has tried to track down Jaskier, tried for three years to no avail until a rumor spread tha a the great Bard, Jaskier, had been kidnapped. And Geralt knew in that moment what had happened and blamed himself.
It was not a short healing process, with all the physical damage done, it had taken Jaskier three days to wake up. Three days that Geralt spent by his side, refusing to leave the room to eat, which led Eskel to bringing up his lunch and staring at his brother, usually giving him a reassuring pat on the shoulder, it led to Lambert not teasing him and Ciri spending time with her new father figure in Jaskiers room, always worried because he had gone completely non verbal. Geralt eventually did fall asleep, something had avoided doing by sharpening his sword and changing Jaskiers bandages. He fell asleep holding Jaskiers unbroken hand softly.
__
Jaskier awoke to a weight on his uninjured hand, panicked at first until he saw Geralt holding it, fast asleep and looking peaceful, pure confusion bubbling inside him until it was joined by anger and hurt. This seemed to have woken up Geralt, whose first instinct was to hold Jaskiers hand tighter until he realized he was the cause of that smell. He stared at Jaskier, unable to form words, pre relief that Jaskier was awake before noticing the expression on Jaskiers face.
Jaskier snatched his hand away and tried to move away from him on the bed only to be met with pain.
“Please, please don’t move.”
Jaskier looked at him with confusion, Geralt never said please. He was still glaring at Geralt, though, distrustful and weary. After weeks of what he had gone through he wasn’t feeling particularly kind.
“Jaskier” Geralt rasped out. “The mount-”
“Leave it. I’ll be out of your hair when I’m healed. Give you
your life's one blessing
.” Geralt flinched and pursed his lips.
“Get out of my room.” Geralt hesitated, wanting to say something before leaving.
Jaskier lied there, trying his best not to cry when a sorceress and Yennefer entered the room, seemingly to check on him. He tried his best not to be too hostile to Yennefer, he had a feeling she and the other woman saved his life.
“Jaskier.”
He didn’t respond, she sighed.
The other mage approached him and gave him a warm smile, she seemed much kinder . She was frankly beautiful, maybe if he was younger and less… Exhausted he might have even tried to woo her. “Hello, my name is Triss, I’m glad to see you finally awake, we were worried that I lost you for a second there. He tried to give her his best smile “Jaskier, but you probably knew that. How long till I can move.” Triss’s smile dropped a little. “I’m afraid you’re going to be bed ridden for a few more days. He frowned. “Ahh, I see. Well, give me the sinopses, doc, will I ever play again?” he said, a bit dramatically. He felt his hand nearly healed and along with his own magic he knew he’d be fine, but reassurance was never bad.
She huffed, “You’ll be fine. You won't play for another week though, I suggest staying here until you can.”
“It would be a waste if we spent so much time just for you to ruin it, Bard.”
Jaskier glared at Yennefer but conceded. “In fact… You should stay with us.” Triss said softly. At that Jaskier let out a bitter laugh. “I would rather not. I’ll head back to Oxenfurt, put on a good glamour like I should have in the first place.” Triss frowned. “I’m afraid that that isn’t possible… The safest place is here, in Kaer Morhen.” Jaskier grit his teeth and decided not to argue for the time being, too exhausted to protest.
___
The next few days went as the following, one of Geralt's brothers would come up, talk to Jaskier and get him to eat. Later on Ciri would come in and talk to him, having someone from back home to provide her comfort, him being relieved she made it out alive.
Once he got out of bed… Geralt would give him food, make sure he didn’t strain himself and be a general frustration. Jaskiers hurt over the mountain warring with the love he still had, with the affection brought through Geralt's actions.
He knew what the others were doing, trying to get him to see Geralt was trying to change, but Jaskier kept convincing himself it wasn’t so ntil it reached a boiling point.
“Stop.” His voice was firm, expression stormy. Geralt was currently serving him food, both haven woken up at night from their own, cruel nightmares.
Geralt paused before turning to Jaskier. “Jaskier,”
“No. You don’t get to… Fucking take care of me and try to act like nothing happened. I don’t need your fucking pity and I don’t need your family participating in whatever fucking game it is you’re playing.”
“Julek, it isn’t-”
“Don’t you dare fucking call me that! How dare you, how dare you push me away for years and deny our friendship, how dare you tell me I’m the worst thing that happened to you and then-and then save me and act like it never- like you haven’t shattered my heart into a million pieces you absolute bastard!” He was crying at this point, shaking before falling into the chair behind him. Geralt had nothing to say, pausing before he slowly walked towards Jaskier and kneeled before him.
“Jaskier… I- hm. The words I said on the mountain” Jaskier flinched “I didn’t mean them I- Yennefer was gone and it was my fault and you were there and I-I wanted to hurt someone, I wanted to be alone and to push you away. I was wrong, I was so wrong.” he took a deep breath “You’re… You’re my life's blessing, you’re the good choice I’ve made. I’m so sorry. Please, let me prove to you that I’ve changed, that I can treat you better. That… I want to be kinder. I… I am a selfish man, I do not deserve your forgiveness but I want to stay by your side.”
Jaskier stared at the man in front of him, sincerity in his voice before taking a deep breath. “And if I don’t want you to prove it? If I want to leave?”
Geralt grimaced “Then I will let you leave.”
Jaskier reached out and cupped his cheek.
“I’m still mad but I forgive you. I think I forgave you a while ago.” Geralt gave the smallest smile “But I can’t… I-I love you Geralt. I can’t be by your side while you and Yennefer play h-”
“Yennefer and I aren’t together. She and Triss are in love and I. Hm. I love you too.” he said the last part softly, as if afraid that Jaskier would take back his words with his admission.
Jaskier looked at him shocked before giving him a watery smile “Then I will stay by your side… But I can’t. I need time, I want to take it slow.”
Geralt nodded “I will wait. I will make it up to you”
Jaskier pulled Geralt up “Well, you can start with a kiss.”