Chapter Text
He had nothing. Absolutely nothing kept him going.
Dream stopped visiting. He only came over once a week to destroy his things and rough him up a bit; to remind him how worthless he is. Tommy didn't need to be reminded. His mind already supplied those cruel words to him every waking second of every god-forsaken day. Dream broke the portal, and completely tore it down while Tommy was on his knees, begging him to stop. Dream said that he was only doing this so he wouldn't get his hopes up and that he wouldn't try to sneak into L'manberg while he was away.
Dream was right , Tommy thought, he was always right .
No one visited him because he deserved not to be alone. He was a terrible person who hurt his best friend, his Tubbo. Dream told him that Tubbo never talked about him and that he would scoff and sneer if his name was even brought up. Dream didn't tell Tommy that Tubbo asked him every single day where Tommy was and that he occasionally had tears in his eyes. He didn't tell Tommy that he overheard Tubbo sobbing into Fundy's arms saying how much he missed him and what a fucked-up decision he made.
Tommy didn't need to know, so he didn't tell him.
Tubbo searched desperately in the Nether after Ranboo told him there was a portal to Tommy, but he came out disappointed and broken-spirited. Dream didn't tell Tubbo that he had broken all portals that led to Tommy and that he broke the obsidian path he made. The only way to get to him now was by boat, and no one other than Dream knew where he was.
Dream told the worried Ghostbur that Tommy had found a better vacation spot and that he was so, so happy in his new home in the sunny tropics! Ghostbur beamed at him and started to write letters to Tommy for Dream to give to him, and he was only a little sad when no letters came back. Dream didn't need to tell Ghostbur that Tommy was still in that miserable tent only a thousand or so blocks away and that he burnt the letters as soon as he was out of view.
Tommy was so tired. He knew that no one was going to help him and that no one cared about him. When he cried, Dream told him that everyone was so much happier without him around and that they never even spoke his name. Tommy was still hurt, but he was happy knowing that all his friends were doing okay. He told this to Dream, who just nodded.
Dream was so nice to him. He finally smacked some much-needed sense into him, and he finally made him see the truth. To think that everyone was only pretending to be his friend… was so stupid not to see it sooner.
Tommy was leaning his head on Dream’s shoulder watching the waves crash onto the shore. Dream’s arm was around his shoulder, and he said nothing as Tommy sobbed quietly.
He thought that people would come to see him, that someone would even bother to look. He had been optimistic despite his hope dwindling, but still, the only person who saw him was Dream. He’d really been a friend since the start, he just didn’t realize it until now. When he saw Dream step through the portal that morning, he ran to him and jumped into his waiting arms. It was getting colder as the weeks went on, and Dream was the perfect heater. He missed hugs and casual touches, but he would never say it out loud.
“Dream! I haven't made any tools since the last time you were here! I didn't make any armor, either!” Tommy was beaming up at Dream’s porcelain mask, hoping that his good behavior would reward him in new clothes or a less raggedy tent. He was confused when Dream let out a sad sigh and started petting his hair.
“That’s great, Tommy.” Tommy looked up at him with worried eyes. Dream sounded so sad, and he didn’t know why. Dream noticed his worried look and ushered him down to the shore. “I never wanted you to find out, but I can’t stand it anymore- seeing you like a puppy waiting for a treat.”
That was when Dream told him. He had finally told him that everyone had faked being his friend and that they were only staying around him not to be rude. Tommy desperately didn’t want to believe it.
“But Tubbo? Techno? Phil? Wilbur? I’ve known them for ages, they don’t actually hate me, do they?” He looked to Dream, desperate to cling to any hope he could have. All that he got from Dream was a head shake.
“They all told me… that they were happy they didn’t have to keep pretending anymore.”
Tommy could swear he could feel his life start to crumble away at Dream’s admission.
The soul-crushing had been days or even weeks ago. Tommy didn’t bother counting the days anymore. There was no point. He felt like a husk- emotionless and vacant. Dream visited him once or twice. He had heard the swish of the portal particles, and he heard Dream’s feet crunch in the snow.
Dream thought Tommy had made a mad dash to L’Manberg when he was gone. There was no hug, no ‘Dream!’ there was nothing. “Tommy?” He didn’t hear any response. He went to the crater of Logstedshire, and he saw nothing. He was getting worried now. He never thought that Tommy would run off. He knew that he had one hope left to find him- at that was his tent. As he made his way up to the tent, he was relieved to see that Tommy was lying in bed. “Oh, there you are. You didn’t come to see me, so I thought you ran off. Are you okay?”
Tommy didn’t even spare a glance. He was lying on his back, his eyes glazed and unfocused, staring at the top of his tent. There were red spots under his eyes. His blanket was going unused underneath him, and Dream could see the tips of Tommy’s fingers and his nose starting to get red. It looked as though after he left last night, Tommy had just flopped on the bed, not moving for hours. “Tommy?”
The only response he got was a slow blink as tears started to stream down his face. Dream left the tent, not even bothering to say goodbye. He did it.
Fucking finally.
Finally, he broke the unbreakable. He had shattered the most high-spirited person he knew like glass. There was no way anyone would resist Dream’s takeover now. Tubbo was strong, but Tommy was really the only one keeping L’Manberg afloat. Nothing was stopping him now. He won!
The people who saw him later that day were confused by the skip in his step, but they didn’t say anything.
Tommy only moved once in the hours that Dream left. The only reason he moved was because his bladder was full to bursting, and it was physically painful at that point. He didn’t bother going back to his tent. He stumbled down to the shore and fell onto his back, looking at the steadily rising moon. He watched for hours as the moon rose higher in the sky, picking himself up just before the moon hit its peak.
He was a waste of space.
He's so tired.
So numb.
He didn’t feel the cold winds around him.
Tommy didn't even realize that his feet were moving. He slowly dragged himself from the shore, his matted hair blowing in the wind, and he slowly scaled the small hill next to what was left of Logstedshire. Dream blew it up once he found his secret stash of goods, but that had happened weeks ago. He knew now that he was being stupid, and that Dream was right.
He slowly built a tower that reached the skies, and he looked at the rising moon as he wished the world goodbye.
Techno had no idea what was going on outside of his cabin. He had no idea that Tommy was even in exile. He inhabited his home in the woods for most days, happily reading books while the voices raged on. It was nice having time for himself; to stay on the down-low for once in his life. That didn't stop him from going into the Nether and slaughtering so many wither skeletons that he lost count only to get their heads and put them in his bunker, but no one needed to know about that. Chaos made the voices quiet, and he was planning on a lot of chaos.
He stepped through the community Nether portal and walked to L'Manberg, wanting to see what everyone had done to the place after he and Will blew it up. He was being a tourist today, not the Blood God.
He was not expecting to be tackled as soon as he reached the city. His sword was already drawn, but what was leaning on his chest stopped him. Tubbo leaned on him, looking into his confused eyes while his own were filled with nothing but tears. He could see cuts forming on the president from the thorns enchantment on his armor, but that didn't bother Tubbo. He shook Techno's shoulders with vigor, and Techno could hardly hear the words he was saying. He put his hands in front of him, and he motioned for Tubbo to get off of him. He stood up, and Tubbo was talking to him again.
"Do you know where he is? Please, Techno, it's been so long-"
Techno was confused. Why was Tubbo so stressed? "What's wrong? Do I know where who is?"
Tubbo slammed his hands against Techno's chest as he sobbed.
"Tommy. Dream made me exile him, Techno. It's been weeks and none of us have seen him, you have to know where he is, please!"
Techno's demeanor immediately changed, going from slightly irritated and confused to serious within a matter of seconds. He knew Dream didn't like that Tommy was so disobedient, but he never thought that he would worm his way so far into Tubbo's mind that he would make him exile his best friend. If it had been weeks, then Tommy was alone with nothing to keep him company but the thoughts in his head. Tubbo was one of the nicest people he had ever met, and to think that Dream did this to him made him furious.
"Where did Dream take him? What direction?" Tubbo silently pointed to his right and muttered a single word.
“ Hurry. ”
Techno had never used his trident faster. He was soaring over the sea, hoping to see an island or a body of land somewhere. He knew that where he lived was a bit to the right, and he knew that it was the first landmass Dream probably saw. He kicked himself, he should have left his house and explored in the weeks he had stayed there. He could think about his stupidity later, but in that moment the only thing that mattered was Tommy.
His feet hit the snow-covered sand, and his eyes widened at the desolate area. There was no time to explore because something caught Techno's eye. On the hill to his right, there was a tower that reached the clouds. He could see something growing ever smaller moving on the top, and he knew that it was Tommy.
He was going to jump.
He ran to the base of the hill as fast as his legs would go, and he let out a terrified gasp when he saw the figure at the top slowly plummet to the ground.
"TOMMY!"
The falling boy looked at the man clad in robes, and he sent him a wave. He shut his eyes, knowing he was nearing the ground.
Finally.
Over.
Tired.
Alone.
Warm.
Wilbur.
End.
Goodbye, Tubbo.
The impact never came.
Tommy slowly opened his eyes to see that he was in the arms of Technoblade, who had cobwebs surrounding him. He was running his fingers through his hair, looking down at the broken teenager. Tommy had tears in his eyes, threatening to spill out.
"Why did you stop me?"
The tears flowed. Techno merely held Tommy to his chest, petting his hair. Tommy only looked up at the sky as his tears flowed, wishing that Techno never found him.
The moon looked nice. The moon had always been there for him, being a constant reminder that there was something in the world that watched him. He wished that it didn't.
"Techie?"
Techno forced himself to look at Tommy. He hadn't called him that in years. Tommy only called him that when he couldn’t pronounce his full name. The only other times Techno remembered Tommy using that particular nickname was when he was sick out of his mind and delirious or waking up from a nightmare. He never called him that because he said it made him seem weak and ‘un-man-like.’ Techno’s eyes were wide and full of emotion, staring into Tommy's blank ones.
"Can you kill me, please?"
Techno's heart shattered. He sighed, slowly standing up with Tommy in tow. He didn't even try to fight being carried. He didn't wriggle around, and he didn't move closer to Techno. He was simply still, staring up into the stars. Techno looked at him, and he received a blank stare in response.
"Why, Theseus?"
The tears flowing down Tommy’s face started to fall a little quicker. Techno sounded so broken and sad, and he caused it. It was his fault his stoic brother was so upset. He was going to get hurt, Techno was going to hurt him for being so selfish and wanting to take his own life-
"I'm so- sorry, Techno, please don't hurt me, I don't have anything to give you, but you can kill me if you want, I'm sorry I made you cry, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry- "
Techno shushed him quietly, sitting them down at the shore, Tommy in his lap. He brushed his hand through Tommy's hair as he watched Tommy apologize.
"I'm not going to hurt you, Tommy. I would never hurt you. We don't have to talk about this for a while. I'm taking you home, alright?” If Tommy knew any better, he would say that Techno sounded choked up. It was a ridiculous thought. “Hang on."
Techno drew his trident, and Tommy cowered in fear, ducking his head into Technoblade's neck. He started to mumble again, and Techno knew that Dream was going to pay for what he did to Tommy. He was going to slaughter him, and he was going to take his sweet, sweet time.
That would come later. Now, he placed a boat in the water, and he started to row them away. Tommy's hands clung to him since he pulled out the trident, and Techno wasn't going to move them.
"Techie?"
"Hm?"
"Why are we going this way? Dream said that I wasn't allowed in L'Manberg. No one wants me there. Why are we going there?"
Oh, he was going to take every one of Dream's lives himself.
"I can deal with Dream, Tommy. Just get some sleep. I'll wake you up when we get there."
Tommy let out a confused huff, but he was warmer than he had been in a while, making his eyes start to droop in contentment. Falling asleep wasn't difficult at all. Techno looked down at his exhausted brother, promising to himself that he would never let anyone hurt Tommy while he was still around. He knew that undoing what Dream did wasn't going to be a walk in the park, but he was going to walk alongside Tommy every second he was recovering.